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Domination 101 – The Basics

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Domination is something that is enjoyed by millions of people around the world. It is usually associated with whips, chains, leather and latex. Although these can be a part of this sex activity, the concept is more of an emotion than a physical object. Using a black leather whip and beating somebody to death is not the purpose of it. One of the biggest issues with this is safety. Making sure that you and your partner are safe and comfortable is critical to having a good experience in the bedroom. If you have an interest in domination, there are a several things that you should know beforehand. Here is a short guide to help you out.

What Is Domination?

Domination is a very basic term. You have probably already experienced this and didn’t even know it. The dominant partner is the one who is steering the experience. The antithesis of dominance is submission. If you tend to steer the experience or initiate sex more often then you are the dominant one in the bedroom. This is much different than the other aspects of your relationship. One of you could be dominant in the bedroom but submissive with everyday decisions like where to eat. The more dominant person in bed will be the one who changes the positions or sets the pace for the sexual rhythm.

The Appeal

There are a lot of reasons that people are into this. For some people with high paying jobs or social anxiety it’s easier to allow somebody to make all of the decisions for them. Giving away control is one of the biggest turn-ons for people who are into it. When you are making decisions all day, having somebody come in and tell you what to do is a change of pace that takes your mind off the pressures of work, school or other aspects of your life. Domination is an aspect of every part of society. It doesn’t matter who you are, you always answer to somebody. Having someone answer to YOU in the bedroom is an erotic way of letting loose and relieving the pressures of life.

Safety Matters!

When people first start out, they usually don’t take safety as seriously as they should. Safety is an essential part of every sexual experience, but it’s especially important with domination. Sex has a way of escalating. When you are comfortable with one aspect of sex you or your partner might try to implement something that you aren’t ready for simply because you’re caught up in the moment. Take precautions by implementing a safe word. A safe word is something that you would not normally say in the bedroom. “Falcon” is an example that could be used because you would probably never say this in the middle of sex. When you or your partner says the safe word you will know that they are uncomfortable with the situation or that they are in pain.

Trust Is Important

Trust is another issue with this, as you must trust your partner to not take the experience too far. Many people get off on finding a stranger to dominate them, but this isn’t recommended. Having a loving relationship with a little kink in the bedroom is healthy. Meeting somebody on Craigslist to tie you up and spank you incessantly is not a recommendation to endorse. Make sure that your partner are comfortable with everything by talking about it beforehand. Find out what they are not comfortable with so you know before you have sex. This is also a way to find out what really turns them on.

It is a great way to easily add a little spice to your relationship. It’s only natural for one partner to be more dominant than the other in the bedroom. If you or your partner is more dominant and it turns you on, talk to your partner about exploring the possibility of taking the dominance to the next level. There are very simple forms of domination that can be effective without the use of straps or whips. Holding your partners hands down or light spanking in the moment are effective without being too “out there.”

It’s important to remember that we experience domination every day through work and other aspects of our life. Getting off on it doesn’t make you strange. Bringing your fantasies to the forefront of your relationship can improve communication and your sex life. Talk to your partner about implementing more of this into your sex life and you will see a vast improvement in your closeness.

Best Kink, Fetishes & BDSM Articles Of 2011

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Kink, BDSM and fetishes are becoming more popular as people are indulging their “dark sides.” More and more couples are looking to kinky sex in an effort to spice up their sex lives, while other players are simply seasoned lovers of BDSM and kink. Check out our favorite naughty articles of the year and have fun trying out all the tips!

Don’t miss out on our all time, most popular BDSM, kink and fetish articles!

We’ve also had a lot of fun this year trying out different sex toys – we’ve been reviewing them so we can give you the lowdown on what toys are super hot and which ones are definitely not. Take a few minutes to check out our favorites for bondage, domination or just plain kinky sex!

Top 10 Most Common Kinks & Fetishes

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BDSM, kinks and fetishes are actually more prevalent than you may think. Check out the ten most popular kinks & fetishes!

Foot Fetish

People with a foot fetish get sexually aroused by women’s feet. A foot fetish and a shoe fetish are often mistaken for one another – people with a shoe fetish are sexually aroused by shoes and feet in them, but usually not by feet in general. Those with a foot fetish are the exact opposite – they are sexually aroused by feet, which may or may not include footwear. This could be in the form of just looking at feet, licking and sucking on them or involving them in sexual activity.

Role Playing

Tons of people enjoy role playing, whether they’re avid BDSM enthusiasts or couples that could be considered relatively “vanilla.” Role play is so much fun, because it allows you to experience different sexual fantasies without going too far outside your box (or outside your relationship). Some sex role play fantasies include:

  • Hot nurse (or doctor), ailing patient
  • Teacher, naughty student
  • Sexy cop, person getting arrested

Breasts

It’s no secret that a big number of guys have a breast fetish! Most guys absolutely love breasts and will watch porn that features women with large breasts or sexual acts taking place with breasts, and they’ll also pay special attention to their lover’s breasts during sex. Some guys will enjoy grossly enlarged breasts (we’re talking HUGE), while others just like ones that are pretty big. Men with breast fetishes may have a particular interest in nipples, but not all of them will.

Butts

It’s also not at all uncommon for some guys to be aroused by butts – especially the nice, large, round variety. Most guys with a special attraction towards butts are going to enjoy rear entry sex positions. They may also really like anal sex. Interestingly enough, there are many guys who are “butt guys” and many guys who are “breast” guys, but very few men (if any) are actually both.

Public Sex

People love the idea of having public sex. There’s just something about having sex around other people – who could possibly see you – that seriously gets people off! Some couples may role play the idea of having public sex – or choose to do it somewhere really discreet where it’s almost impossible to get caught – while others really will get it on out in the open, without regard to getting caught. For some, the idea of getting caught (and actually getting caught) is the biggest turn on of all.

Shoe Fetish

Again, a shoe fetish is a largely popular form of sexual gratification – but it is often mistaken for a foot fetish. A shoe fetish is going to be specifically centered around shoes (and sometimes feet in them). The shoes are almost always high heels, and often very “bondag-ey” looking. Fetish footwear often includes lots of straps, buckles and leather! Some shoe enthusiasts feel like the higher the heel, the better.

Piercings & Tattoos

People have long linked pain with pleasure, and many people will say that there’s a fine line between the two. It’s not hard to figure out that there’s a lot of people on this planet that enjoy not only getting piercings and tattoos, but being around other people that have them as well. However, did you know that a lot of people who enjoy piercings and tattoos get sexually aroused by them? They will be more inclined to have sex with someone that is pierced or tattooed than someone who isn’t, and may even be sexually aroused by the process of getting tattooed or pierced.

Domination & Submission

This is also one of the more popular forms of BDSM & fetishes, because so much fun can be had if you’re creative with domination and submission. Some people have a personality that leans more towards a dominant nature, while others will have a more submissive personality. This can work really well in couples, because dominant and submissive personalities will usually feed off each other.

Rough Sex

This goes back to pleasure being linked to pain. Many couples enjoy BDSM and rough sex, which may include:

  • Slapping
  • Spanking
  • Biting
  • Restraints
  • Hard and fast penetration that typically goes deeper than “normal”

Certain Fabrics

Believe it or not, it’s not at all uncommon for people to be aroused by the feel and texture of certain fabrics when they rub up against the skin. This can include:

  • Satin
  • Silk
  • Leather
  • Rubber
  • Velvet

People who are sexually aroused by different kinds of fabric will often have pajamas, lingerie or their sheets that are made of this particular fabric.

Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

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A MILF fantasy is actually quite common – there are many guys out there that either have or had a really hot step-mother who they couldn’t help but be attracted to! Of course it’s inappropriate, but lots of guys experience it. Most of the time, it passes and nothing more is ever said about it. But just what do you do when all you can think about is getting it on with your stepmother?

Question: I have a fantasy of having sex with my step mom. Almost every day she wears these pants that when she bends over you can see her ass perfectly, and my urges keep getting more and more frequent! I’ve gone to many other people, all with no help. She is also about to get breast implants, so that makes it all the worse! Your videos have helped me out a lot, so please help me on this one!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9PG42lKpVk&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Boys, especially those going through puberty, are going to be attracted to random hot women, possibly all hot women. If your stepmother is hot, it’s not out of the ordinary that you would have a sexual fantasy about her! Lots of guys have gone through or are going through the same thing. You’re just attracted to a hot woman who just happens to be your step-mother. You don’t have to make it any more complicated than that.

Acting On Your Fantasy

While a MILF fantasy is actually very common, it’s not one that you can act on. Even if you’re over the age of eighteen and you and your step-mother are both consenting, you’re still going to hurt a lot of people if you make that decision. Your family would likely be very hurt and feel very betrayed if you and your step-mother got it on.

If you’re under age, that’s a whole different ball game – things could be much worse if you did anything about your fantasy. Also, it’s likely that your step-mother most absolutely does not share this fantasy, and you could damage your relationship with her and the rest of your family if you tell her that you think about her sexually.

You can’t help that you’re having this fantasy, so what do you do? If you end up masturbating every day while thinking about your step-mother, you’re not going to be the first guy that has ever done that. Masturbation is an excellent relief for fantasies that you just can’t be a part of in real life. However, if you actually act on your fantasy, you could be crossing a line that you can never un-cross.

Consider Counseling

If your MILF fantasy really bothers you and you just can’t get away from it (and you really want to) consider counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeing an unbiased counselor or third party that can help you talk through your feelings and problems. People put so much stigma on going to a therapist – especially for sex related issues – but if you want to get to the root of the problem, therapy is about as good as it gets.

Don’t think that seeing a therapist automatically makes you a weaker guy. What counseling can do is help you talk through your issues and learn the tools you need to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilled life. On a side note, talking to your step-mother about this fantasy of yours is probably not a good idea.

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

If counseling isn’t something you can or want to do, think about ways you can redirect this energy. Think about what it is about your step-mother that turns you on so much. Is it her physique? Perhaps she has a nice butt or legs that just won’t quit. If you can isolate just what it is about her that turns you on, you can redirect that energy to adult films and magazines that feature women with large butts, long legs, or whatever it is that you think turns you on the most.

Even if you can’t find something in particular, there is surely going to be another girl you find attractive. Exploring magazines, websites, films and art can help you find other women to look at that also turn you on. If you’re old enough and dating is an option, get more social and talk to girls.

You may be attracted to your step-mother’s personality, simply because you haven’t been close or conversed much to other women. Dating can help you redirect your energy into finding a girl that you’re attracted to that you can get to know without the repercussions that getting involved with your step-mother would bring.

Bondage 101: What Every Player Needs To Know!

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Bondage is a sexual practice that involves restraints and the immobilization of a submissive partner for sexual gratification. Although it can be done for art, as in the case Shibari (Japanese rope bondage), but it is largely practiced during sex. It can be done with a number of mediums, including handcuffs (of both the metal and fuzzy variety), rope, Japanese silk rope, masks, gags and more.

Why Is It So Popular?

Bondage is popular for many different reasons. For some, the act of tying their lover up or being tied up is in some way liberating. Part of the appeal is that there are two very different roles required to make it happen – the dominant one, or the “top” and the submissive one, or the “bottom.” People are naturally inclined to be either a little more submissive or a little more dominant – and whichever role they seem to lean towards appeals to their inner desires in a bondage scenario.

How To Introduce It To A Nervous Partner

If someone who really enjoys the bondage and fetish world lands in a relationship with someone who has never tried it before, it can be quite nerve wracking. The partner with expertise in the area often wonders how to introduce their fantasies to their newbie lover, and they are of course, terrified of scaring them off or freaking them out.

The best way to introduce any type of sexual fetish, including bondage, to a person that has never tried it before is to start small and work your way up. Don’t bring in a huge ball gag and frightening looking metal cuffs for the first time.

Try a little light restraining with something benign like fuzzy handcuffs. Pair the restraint scenario with a favorite sexual activity of theirs that you know they absolutely love – like oral sex. Associating something new with something they already love sexually is a great way to put a positive spin on something that could otherwise be really “outside their box.”

As your partner gets more and more into it, you can talk to them about their fantasies (you’ll definitely want to give them the opportunity to express and act out their own sexual fantasies too) and gradually work your way up to whatever level of restraint you and your partner are most aroused by and comfortable with.

Experimenting With Restraints During Sex & Masturbation

Lovers of bondage as well as those who are new to it can play during sex with a partner or alone, during masturbation. While restraint scenarios are much easier to get into when there’s a partner involved, singles don’t have to give up their BDSM lives during their singledom just because someone else isn’t there to tie them up. Try wearing a ball gag or handcuffs during masturbation.

There are also lots of great places to meet fellow bondage and fetish enthusiasts, especially if you live in a larger city. If you’re single and are either looking for a romance with a dom or sub, or just want to engage in some casual play, there are tons of resources out there.

How To Get Started

If you’re new to bondage, whether you’re interested in experimenting with it on your own or have a partner that wants to get you into it, it can be a little intimidating getting started from scratch. Your first order of business is to invest in a few good tools of the trade. A basic silk rope or a restraint kit is perfect for beginner’s arm and leg restraint. A feather tickler and a paddle are also fun ways to get started with pain and pleasure play.

What’s New In Bondage & Fetish?

There is always something new and exciting in bondage & fetish, because the whole idea is to push the boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn’t. BDSM enthusiasts are always trying to push the envelope, so there’s always something different to find.

Recent adult films and many fetish-centric websites show some of the never before seen, don’t-try-this-at-home restraint scenarios, while many adult toy stores are starting to shelve some of the newest and sexiest bondage gear out there.

No matter what you’re looking for, whether it’s a beginner’s kit and a very vanilla video or a leather whip and a ball gag that you definitely wouldn’t want company to see, it’s out there. Bondage is sex, it’s art and it’s loved by many!