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How To Use Oral Sex To Help Introduce Your Partner To Anal Pleasure

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Oral sex can be an excellent bridge to first time anal sex if you’re careful how you go about it. Here’s what to do to get the ball rolling on anal play.

The Connection Between Oral Sex And Anal Sex

What’s the connection? It’s best to start slowly introducing anal play to your partner while you’re giving them great oral sex. Why? Because you create an association in their mind with something they already like (oral sex) with the thing you’re trying to get them to like (anal sex). Creating that association is key.

So is going slowly. You cant go from cunnilingus to having anal sex with them right away. It’s never a good idea, especially if your relationship is newer and/or this is the first time the two of you have had anal. Slowly is the key word. While giving your partner oral sex, gently introduce a finger up their butt or massage or stroke their taint. That’s a good one. The taint is the gateway drug to anal sex. If they love it when you play with their taint, you’re golden. If you’re patient.

Are YOU Open To Anal Play?

Another thing when trying to introduce your partner to anal sex is to consider whether or not you would be open to reciving it. Yes, you. Most people who are trying to introduce their partner to anal sex (men) are interested in being the giver, not the reciever. You have to be open to receiving as well, if you really want to do it.

Maybe she’s willing to let you do it to her, after she gets to do it for you. Again, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander (we’re sure they were referring to anal sex when they came up with this saying, aren’t you?) and if you’re truly wanting her to open herself to the possiblity of anal play, you’re going to have to be willing to spread your own cheeks and take it like a man (literally).

Why men have such hang ups on this, we’ll never know. It doesn’t make you gay. Any sex act that occurs between two people of different genders is by default, heterosexual in nature. Just remember to go slow, breathe deep and use lots of lube. If you don’t follow those three steps, your transition from oral sex to anal sex will be a short trip. It will stop all the fun, and often leads to injury. The emergency rooms of the world are filled with people who didn’t heed this warning. Don’t believe us? Call the E.R. and ask.

Who Is Really After The Anal Play?

There’s a really big elephant in the room here, and it’s time we talked about it. Who wants to add anal sex to your oral sex and intercourse buffet of sex? You or your partner or both? Are you trying to tell your partner it’s okay to do, because you know deep down they secretly want to? Or is it something you want to do and you really don’t care if he/she’s into it or not. You can’t force anyone to do anything.

Unless you’re Rick James or Charlie Sheen. And even they would up paying for it eventually. Putting pressure on your partner to do something they really aren’t into and won’t enjoy is just not cool and always ends in disaster. It will blow up in your face (and not in a fun way). The only question is when and how bad. So don’t do that. It’s not worth jepardizing your relationship with your partner for something like this.

If that’s the case, talk about your desires with your partner and why your’e interested in going from oral sex to anal sex. Maybe it’s not the anal sex itself that turns you on. Maybe it’s something else. Starting a dialogue is always the first step to great sex, because it will get things out in the open, you’ll get a feel for what the other is into and open to and then you can come to some kind of understanding, and that leads to compromise. Which, honestly, at the end of the day is what relationships of all kinds are all about. Alot of give and take as it were. And no, that’s not code for a something.

How To Get A Woman To Relax Before Oral Sex

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Oral sex can give a girl an incredible orgasm, but not if she’s tense and uptight. Get your lady relaxed before oral sex if you want her to enjoy it! Here’s how!

Why Relaxation Is Key

If her mind is relaxed but her muscles are so tight that her legs snap shut every time your head gets to her knees, you aren’t going to get very far during cunnilingus. Like we said earlier, a massage will both get her mentally and physically prepared for cunnilingus. If massage, however, isn’t on the menu tonight, there are a few other things you can try to get her so relaxed that her legs turn into butter.

How To Get Her To Calm Down And Chill Out

A Hot Bath

This is an oldie but goodie. But we don’t mean draw her bath, plop her in it and go about your business for thirty minutes until she’s done. We mean light candles, talk to her and wash her hair for her. Let her know that you are interested in her! If done properly, a conversation geared towards her while in a soothing, hot bath will do the same thing as an erotic massage – kill two birds with one stone and get both her mind and body relaxed and ready for cunnilingus.

A Foot Rub

Believe it or not, foot rubs can do even more magic than a back massage and a hot bath put together. Why? Studies in reflexology show that pressure points all over the foot lead directly to specific points in the body. When these pressure points are activated, the corresponding point in the body becomes relaxed and can promote wellness. A good foot rub will activate all of these points and will turn her entire body to putty.

Brushing Her Hair

Brush it while watching a movie together or braid it for her if her hair is long enough. You can also do variations on this by scratching her scalp or using one of those metal spider-looking head massagers. It will make her spine tingle! This is a great way to get good, relaxing feelings from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.

Anything Physically Relaxing

Use your imagination. If your idea to get her mentally relaxed is walking around in the mall and window shopping together, then buy her one of those chair massages (or get one together). Some malls even have water massage beds. You can also do something like buying her a manicure or pedicure (or both!) and complimenting her nails when she is finished. Anything that will physically calm her is the ticket to a successful cunnilingus session with a mind bending orgasm at the finish.

Why Blowjob Enthusiasm Is SO Important!

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A blowjob isn’t any good if you act like you’d rather be doing something else. Here’s why being excited about giving him a blowjob is essential!

Sure, women enjoy giving fellatio because it gives their partners pleasure. They enjoy seeing their partner in the midst of bliss and that can be exhilarating for the woman. But let’s face it ladies – very rarely does giving fellatio make women jump for joy. So how do you get enthused when giving your partner fellatio?

Putting On A Good Show

Just act like it! You don’t have to be an Oscar winner to put on a good show for your partner while giving him awesome head. Trust us; what you DON’T want to do is give your partner fellatio while acting like a wet noodle. This may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at the number of women that give a blowjob quietly, intently listening for their partner’s moans of enjoyment.

The key to success in fellatio is to act like you want it. We mean this. If you do not abide by anything else, abide by this one and only oral sex tip! You have to act like you’re going to die if you don’t give your partner fellatio right this second. Look up at him with that hunger in your eyes and let him see just how badly you want to pleasure him. Your enthusiasm alone will get him more turned on and ready to go than anything else you could possibly do!

What To Say And Do To Let Him Know You Love It!

You can do several things to show your partner that you’re enthusiastic about giving him fellatio. You can use phrases such as “I want you” or “I want to [insert preferred phrase equivalent to giving fellatio].” If you choose to use words or phrases, make sure that you convey the level of urgency that you want to in your voice. If you’re uncomfortable with using words or phrases and if you are a bit shy, you can easily convey what you want to with sounds and noises – the more guttural, the better! Another way to get across that you want him NOW is to grab him with your hands – his back, his butt, his penis – anything you can get your hands on to draw him to you.

Use your hands to squeeze him and hold him close to you like you can’t get enough of him! He will love thinking that you are so turned on by giving him something so wonderful – and you’ll be in for quite a treat!

How Not To Overdo It

It is important, however, that you don’t overdo it on the “acting.” Of course, you want to please your partner so at least some of it is genuine, right? But you don’t want him to think he’s in a bad porn flick. Just think of it as extending the genuineness of your enthusiasm or like putting a magnifying glass on your excitement. If you overdo it on the acting and give your partner a little too much of a “show” and not enough fellatio, he will clearly see through your act and get upset for even acting in the first place. The key is to develop a good balance between the two so that you are excited, enthusiastic and thrilled without going over the top.

Oral Sex Safety Tips You Can’t Miss

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Oral sex is safer than traditional intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but it’s not 100% safe – here’s how to make oral sex fun and less risky!

How To Get Started

Safe fingering includes the use of medical-grade gloves, which are easily found in most pharmacies or purchased online in a myriad of colors and textures. Some even come pre-lubricated or powdered for a more realistic feel.

Next, grab a brand new dental dam. If you plan on some anal as well as vaginal play, make sure to use to separate dams that don’t come into contact with each other, as you don’t want to give her a nasty infection. Also, try to purchase one specifically made for oral sex; there are some that even come pre-flavored, lubed and/or with a stickable strip at the top for ease of use.

Write on one side of the latex, “Lick here!” so you know which side is closest to you, and which will be up against her skin.

Grab your choice of water-based lubricant and apply some to her side of the dental dam. Put it over her entire vulva, covering her vagina, labia and clitoris.

Using One

Be aware that she’ll need a firmer tongue when using a dental dam than without. Although everything in this series works equally as well with one than not, she won’t be able to feel the friction of your tongue, just the vibrational aspect.

Don’t be afraid to use your teeth lightly. You don’t want to rip the latex, but you do want to apply more pressure than you normally would. So, scraping and light biting isn’t taboo here.

Will A Dam Make It Less Pleasurable?

I’ll be honest: using a one dampens your ability to be an expert cunnilinguist. There’s a lot of sensation lost when latex separates you and your lover, just as it’s different when you use a condom and when you don’t. Having said that, you can still create an unforgettable, amazing oral sex experience for the both of you, but you do need to be aware of the limitations as well. Or, use it to employ different sensations and techniques that you couldn’t without it:

  • Use the edge of the latex and rake it along her clitoris.
  • Roll it up and use it as a makeshift finger, either to tease her vulva and clitoris, or inside of her against her G-Spot.
  • Wrap it around the top of the clitoris, then push and pull the edges to rub and ‘shine’ it.

Why Should I Use One?

Question: Why can’t I just use my fingers to play with her, and then have sex? Can’t I just skip the whole dental dam/oral sex thing entirely?

Even with the protection a dental dam provides against STD’s, and your partner will still receive a lot of pleasure from your oral sex efforts. Why deny her that joy? It’s definitely a challenge for some to get over the mental barrier that dental dams provide, but it’s really just mental, not physical. She’ll still feel good, and you’ll feel even better knowing you can make her happy and sexually satisfied.

How Do I Keep It In Place?

Question: I use dental dams every time I go down on a girl. I don’t mind them, other than I can’t seem to keep them in place and still do all of the things that you’re asking me to do with my hands and so forth. How can I make it work?

If there’s one thing that people complain about loudly when it comes to dental dams, it’s this: trying to hold one in place while using your mouth and fingers to please a woman is a chore indeed, and sometimes, extremely challenging. The other major complaint is the lack of sensation that some women (and men) feel when using a dental dam.

There are some ingenious ways to keep a dental dam secure:

  • Panties with the crotch cut out, and worn over top of it.
  • Using garters to attach from one side to another, and wrapping them around the woman’s leg.
  • Finding the really sticky Saran Wrap, employing it as a dental dam, and molding it to stay in place.
  • Applying spirit gum to temporarily glue it in place.

Are any of these suggestions reasonable, and field tested to work well? Not really. They might work for you, but for the most part the easiest way is still the way that prevents you from using one hand to please her, and that’s you holding it in place. So instead of trying to figure out ways to keep it in place so that your hands don’t have to, let’s instead explore a method and mindset that requires you to think about how you can stimulate her while still holding it in place.

  • Get a vibrator or dildo that looks like a penis, and one that will fit without a lot of wiggle room inside of her vagina.
  • If you chose a vibrator, put it in with just an inch sticking out of her, but if is a dildo, use only the first few inches, where the dildo should be the widest.
  • Lick her using the routine that suits your needs best, keeping an eye on the dildo or vibrator to make sure that she’s clenching it with her muscles as she gets closer to orgasm.
  • If you are using a vibrator, you may be able to rest your chin on its edge to steady yourself, as well as to add the extra sensation of a slightly vibrating tongue.

Another option is to purchase a humorous-looking sex toy called The Accomodator, which is basically a dildo that you strap around your ears and attach to your chin. This way, you can lick her clitoris while penetrating her with the face-dildo. Unusual, yes, but if you can get over the laugh-factor, it’s actually a really handy little device.

How To Spice Up A Blowjob

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A blowjob is great in and of itself, but what if you could make it even better? Check out these blowjob tips and you’ll soon be a PRO at giving your man head!

There are many ways that you can enhance a blowjob – it’s not all about tips, tricks and location! Use of external stimulants (the details of which we will go into) can make your partner feel divine and give things a spin when fellatio begins to get boring. In this department, imagination can take you anywhere!

Ice It Up!

The cold receptors in his genital area react greatly to ice or a cool touch. If you’re not careful, however, too much cold can cause his penis to shrivel up and disappear! Just enough cold though, and you can send your partner into oblivion! The best way to incorporate a touch of cold into your blowjob routine is to put either a small piece of ice in your mouth while you suck him, or drink something ice-cold before you do. The combination of the cold along with the anticipation of stopping and starting while you take sips of your cool mixture will send your partner over the edge.

Use Menthol

This will create a similar sensation to the use of cold drinks or ice, but without the fear of your partner losing his erection due to excessive chilliness. You can suck your partner off with a mint in your mouth or you can use crème de menthe. Anything that has menthol in it will create this wonderful effect. Altoids and York Peppermint Patties are great for popping in your mouth and working on the head of your man’s penis. Also, if you will use a toothpaste with a strong mint flavor, brush not only your teeth, but the entire length of your tongue, inside of your cheeks and the roof of your mouth. He WILL be able to feel the minty sensation on his penis.

Get Warm!

Get warm, but not too hot! Drink some warm tea or hot cocoa before you put your partner’s penis in your mouth. The added heat will drive him wild! If you really want to throw your partner a curveball, alternate between hot and cold drinks or throw a mint in the hot cocoa. The different sensations will give your partner a fellatio session to remember.

Get Saucy!

You may have heard of using things like chocolate sauce or whipped cream when fellating your partner – and this is a great idea if you want to make fellatio fun for both you and your partner! You can use a variety of things here – but make sure if you are using anything with sugar that you aren’t planning to have intercourse later. Sugary substances can change the delicate pH of the vagina and cause a yeast infection. If you’re just planning for fellatio, adding some fun “toppings” can make the night a lot more interesting! You can use whipped cream (topped with a cherry) and chocolate sauce – but don’t buy any bananas, your partner’s penis will suffice! You can also use peanut butter or caramel sauce and even ice cream! Ice cream will combine this technique with the cold technique for added fun.

For those of you who prefer to not consume the sugar, try using flavored yogurts or sugar free pudding! Not only can you use it in foreplay to paint his body with, there’s no calorie guilt!

Get Tipsy

Okay, maybe just a little tipsy. If you like liquor, you can do body shots off your partner or for a little more fun, fellate him while drinking your favorite liquor. The “burn” of a strong liquor (like vodka or rum) will warm up his penis and your night! Just make sure that you don’t overdo it – getting sick could ruin all the fun. You can also do this with beer to give your partner a tingly sensation (or soda if you prefer not to drink alcoholic beverages). For a fun trick, you can use your partner’s penis to stir your drink of choice (be it alcoholic or not) and then suck it all off! With all the flavors of liquors and schnapps, you’re sure to have fun finding some to try out on his swizzle stick!

Give Him A Hummer

No, not the car! Give him some feel-good vibrations by humming a catchy tune while going down on him. The humming actually creates minute vibrations that travel through his entire groin – bringing your blow job “full circle.” Don’t be shy – he probably won’t hear the tune you’re humming (so humming “The Wheels on The Bus” won’t be an issue) and he certainly won’t be judging how in tune you are!

Two Words: Pop Rocks

Using pop rocks during a blowjob is probably one of the best fun tricks that you can use! You know the tingling feeling you get in your mouth when you eat Pop rocks? Imagine your partner feeling that on his penis! Use only a few pop rocks at a time – the sensation will be lost if you have a huge glob of them in your mouth. You will also want to fellate him lightly while the pop rocks are in your mouth. They don’t call them rocks for nothing! Pressing down on your partner’s penis while Pop rocks are in your mouth can push them into his penis and cause him to be uncomfortable. If you do it right though, Pop rocks can be a lot of fun!