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Sex Tips: I Like Kinky Sex But He Doesn’t – How Can I Get Him To Try It?

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Lots of people like kinky sex, but lots of people don’t. If you really enjoy kinky sex but your partner isn’t into it, you’re probably wondering how you can convince them to just give it a try. There are ways you can soften your partner up to what you like in bed, but you also have to keep some things in mind, like respecting your partner’s boundaries. Here’s what you want to know about getting your partner out of his vanilla sex “funk” and into the world of kink.

Question: I like kinky sex but he doesn’t. How can I get him to maybe try it?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9_VV_VgDIk[/youtube]

Kinky Sex Is All About Perspective

What is kinky to some is completely benign to others, so keep that in mind when trying to introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to kinky sex. For example, some people may think that simply having sex with the lights on is super kinky, while others delve deep into kink with lots of bondage and BDSM. Think about what you are wanting your partner to try and what they’ve tried before – is there a big difference between the two? Are you wanting him to try sex with a strap on when all he’s ever done is light bondage? If this is the case, think about toning down your idea of kink to better match what he’s tried already so you’re not too outside of his comfort zone.

Respect His Boundaries

Everyone has their boundaries when it comes to kinky sex, and it’s important for two people in a relationship to respect those boundaries. You may be very into kink, but there is someone somewhere out there that is probably into doing some things that you definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with. Imagine if you were in a relationship with someone who wanted to push your boundaries and try to convince you to do something that made you really uncomfortable – you definitely wouldn’t appreciate it and it would probably do harm to the relationship. So think about the situation in reverse. You may think your idea of “kink” is ok, but your partner may not. It all goes back to each person’s perspective – there is no “standard guideline” for what is ok and what isn’t. It all depends on the person and where their boundaries are. So it’s definitely important to respect your partner’s boundaries and avoid pushing him too far past them. If you push them too hard to try kinky sex, they may run the other way.

Finding The Right Approach

How you approach the topic with your partner is critical to whether or not they will actually be open to trying what you want them to try. Talk to him about how to spice up your sex life is important, but doing it at the right time and in the right way will make the most difference. Don’t try to talk to him about it while you’re having sex, right before you have sex or even right after. Get it? Have the conversation completely outside of the bedroom, at a time when you’re both relaxed and enjoying spending time together. Avoid being critical of your partner at all costs – this is not a “Why won’t you do this, there’s nothing wrong with it” conversation. If he even smells a hint of criticism in your words, he will lock up and probably won’t hear a word that you say. Instead, approach the topic by letting him know how much a particular activity turns you on and how much it turns you on to imagine doing it with them.

Modify Your Kink

So you want to try tying him to a chair and having your way with him – but he’s never so much as tried light bondage before. Consider modifying whatever you want to try a little bit and tone it down. This may make him more comfortable with trying it and you can eventually work your way up to heavy bondage and BDSM by taking baby steps to get there. Remember that kinky sex is again, all about perspective, and you’ll have a better chance of getting your partner to try something different if you make it a little more benign. Instead of going all out with handcuffs and rope (if bondage is your thing), try simply tying his wrists with a scarf or silk necktie. He will be more open to it if it seems really harmless – and then trying something else even more kinky won’t seem so bad!

Give Her G-Spot Orgasms During Sex With This 1 Easy Move

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Finding a woman’s g-spot is hard enough, let alone knowing what to do with it when you do. There are lots of g-spot stimulation techniques that work well, such as the “come hither” technique, but most of them are performed using the hands and fingers. What if you want to give your partner a g-spot orgasm during sex with your penis? Many men think it’s impossible, but it’s really not. Here’s how you can give your girl a toe curling, headboard banging g-spot orgasm using only one simple move – and it’s so easy, you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it before!

The Move

Have your partner lie on her back in the missionary sex position with you on top. You can have her raise her legs a little for deeper penetration if you wish, but it isn’t necessary to perform this move. As you’re thrusting your penis in and out of her vagina, place your hand on her lower stomach, just above the bone of the pelvis and press down gently. Make sure your partner uses the bathroom right before having sex, because this trick can often make her feel a little like she has to urinate. The sensation of having to pee when you’re stimulating the g-spot is actually her body filling itself with female ejaculate – you can tell that it is ejaculate and not urine because it is not possible for the kidneys to fill the bladder that quickly right after using the restroom.

Why It Works

What this special g-spot stimulation technique does is press the g-spot lower towards your penis, allowing your penis to rub up against it more firmly. Many women aren’t able to acheive g-spot orgasm through penile penetration because the g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, about two to three inches in. Because of the angle of the g-spot, it can be quite difficult for your penis to rub up against it during sex. By pressing your hand down on her lower stomach, you are pushing the g-spot closer to your penis. This will allow you to stimulate her sweet spot with your penis, allowing you and your partner to possibly reach simultaneous orgasm together. You can also try using this technique when you are fingering her to increase the pressure on the g-spot and decrease the amount of pressure you have to use with the hand that is doing the fingering. Experiment with different variations of this technique to find out which one your partner likes best!

Female Ejaculation Through G-Spot Stimulation

Every woman can ejaculate, but not every woman knows how. Deep, firm g-spot stimulation is required for a woman to experience female ejaculation (also called squirting), making this technique one of the best ones to use if you’re trying to get your partner to actually ejaculate when she reaches orgasm. When a woman is about to ejaculate, it may feel like she has to urinate. If she’s used the bathroom right before sex, you can reassure her that she is not about to wet herself – instead, she is about to have an amazing orgasm! Encourage your partner to let go when she experiences this feeling and bear down into the orgasm. It may take some practice, but using this g-spot stimulation technique is a great way to teach her how to ejaculate!

Using The Move For Multiple Orgasms

All women have the ability to reach orgasm over and over again, and having multiple orgasms is one of the best ways to truly satisfy (if not exhaust) your partner. It is rare for a woman to have more than one orgasm through stimulating her clitoris, but using clitoral stimulation will make her g-spot easier to find. This is because after orgasm, it is engorged with blood and the nerve endings are primed for sexual pleasure. Give your partner a clitoral orgasm by performing oral sex on her, and then move on to penetration. Use the above mentioned technique and place your hand on her lower stomach, pushing the g-spot firmly up against your penis. She will already be primed for orgasm from you going down on her, so it won’t take long for her to reach orgasm number two. Using this technique, you may even get her to have three or four orgasms, but take heart if it doesn’t happen right away. If she’s never experienced a g-spot orgasm before, she may need some time to figure out what her body is doing and how to go with the flow.

The 5 Hottest Oral Sex Tips On The Planet – For Him

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All men love getting a blowjob – in fact, many men prefer to be on the receiving end of oral sex more than they like intercourse! If your guy likes it so much, naturally, you want to learn as many techniques as you can so you can rock his word. Fortunately for you, there are only 5 awesome oral sex tips that you need to learn to give your guy an amazing orgasm with your mouth – and he’ll never look at you the same way again!

Use Your Hands Too

Some women think that giving a guy head involves using only your mouth, but that is far, far from the truth. When going down on a guy, incorporating your hands into the mix can mean the difference between giving him head for an hour or making him orgasm within ten to fifteen minutes. When giving your partner a blowjob, take one hand and wrap it around the base of his penis. Stroke up and down the shaft of his member as you would if you were giving him a handjob, but only moving your hand halfway up the penis. Lower your mouth down over the head of his penis to give him oral sex, but you’ll only need to go down as far as your hand is -around the middle of his penis. He’ll love the feeling of having both your hands and your mouth on his penis and you’ll be able to bring him to orgasm faster than if you just used your hands or your mouth alone. This is also a great technique for women who have a strong gag reflex to use, because it doesn’t allow the penis to go very far down the throat at all.

Massage The Prostate Gland Or Perineum

The prostate gland is much like a woman’s “g-spot” in the fact that it is a special spot located inside the body that can bring a man to an amazingly powerful orgasm if it’s stimulated the right way. The most efficient way to stimulate a man’s prostate gland is by gently sliding your finger in his anus and making a “come hither” motion with your finger. This will directly stimulate the prostate gland and may cause a man to climax immediately. Some men, however, are adverse to anal sex or anal play of any kind, and this is not the best approach for someone who is uncomfortable with anal stimulation. If this is the case for you and your partner, you can firmly massage his perineum (the space between his testicles and his anus) with your knuckles. This indirectly stimulates the prostate gland and can provide some of the same sensations as when using other techniques.

Pay Attention To The Head Of His Penis

The head of your partner’s penis is the most sensitive part, so it’s important not to leave it out when giving your partner a blowjob. Start by sucking gently on the head of his penis, swirling your tongue around firmly. You can start to suck more firmly if your partner seems to enjoy this, but beware of sucking too hard. The head of his penis is much like your clitoris – packed full of nerve endings that can cause pain or discomfort when stimulated too much.

Don’t Be Afraid To Slobber

So many women are afraid of using too much saliva when giving a guy a blowjob, so they skimp on how good of a blowjob they actually give so as not to end up slobbering all over his penis. Here’s a quick tip – ignore how much saliva you’re using and just let it drip. Keep a towel nearby if you’re that freaked out about it, but don’t worry too much because it’s almost guaranteed that your partner doesn’t care how much saliva you get on him at all.

Let Him Enjoy The Show

Men are definitely visual creatures, so if you can position yourself to allow him to watch while you give him head, so much the better. Make eye contact with him every now and then so he can see how much you’re enjoying giving him pleasure (this is a big deal for guys by the way) and he’ll never forget how great you can be in bed. Mix and match this technique with a few other oral sex tips and you’ll really end up blowing his mind! He’ll be begging you to give him a blowjob again and again after this – and you just might get him to be enthusiastic about giving you oral sex in return!

Q&A: My Husband Says I’m Too Fat Too Have Sex With Me

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It’s not uncommon for a man to have a reduction in his sex drive as he gets older, but he may try to blame it on you. He may suggest that you are overweight and not attractive, or come up with some other reason as to why he doesn’t want to have sex with you – and it will probably end up being something that he consideres “your fault.” The truth is, however, that there are many reasons that a man can lose his sex drive as he gets older, including being a new parent among other things. Here’s how to find out the truth of the matter and whether it’s really you or something else.

Question:  My husband is 30 & I’m 20 – he absolutely seems to hate having sex! We do it about 2 times a month, IF I’m lucky! He said it’s because I need to lose weight. (I’m 5 foot 5 inches and 165 pounds) He’s really rude about it. Is there a way to get him more turned on to where he’ll want to have sex despite how I look? I just had a baby 9 months ago. I’ve tried giving him a blowjob or a handjob, but when it comes to returning the favor he just won’t do it. Can you give me any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGgJynY_sbU[/youtube]

Try To Find Out What Is Really Going On

You may be taken aback at first when he suggests that his lowered libido is a result of your being overweight, but don’t take it to heart right away. There may be other things that are responsible for his reduced sex drive that he just doesn’t know about and the only thing he can think to blame it on is the way your body looks and that he considers it “unappealing.” A change in his lifestyle – such as a new job or a new baby – could be the culprit, as well as other things like certain medications and even his diet and exercise habits. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether it really is about you or if there might be some deeper issues going on that your partner just isn’t aware of.

  • When did this start?
  • Have you always had the same weight-to-height ratio or have you recently gained?
  • Have you always had sex just a few times a month, or is this something new that has started happening?
  • Did you just have your first baby?
  • Is he having job stress or other types of stress in his life?
  • Has he started taking medication of some kind?
  • Is he eating a healthy, nutrient rich diet?
  • Is HE exercising and maintaining a healthy weight?

Talking To Him About It

It’s important to talk to him about what is going on in your sex life (or lack thereof) but picking the right time and place is absolutely essential in getting through to him. Don’t try to talk to him about the issue right after you’ve either had sex or you’ve initiated sex and he’s declined. You also don’t want to do it when he’s stressed out, like right after work or when the baby is fussy. Hire a babysitter, set aside some time for you and your partner to go to dinner and initiate the conversation in a casual and non-critical way. The best way to get through to your partner about what is really going on with him is to avoid being critical of him and what he says. This can be difficult because he’s coming at you with accusations that can really hurt your feelings, but try your best to maintain a level head or the only thing that will come out of it will be a huge, ugly argument. If you can’t work through these issues on your own, consider couples counseling. Find a counselor that you and your partner are both comfortable with and talk to them about the problems you and your partner are having. A good counselor will not blame either of you for what is going on (because let’s face it, the blame game will get you absolutely nowhere) and will help you and your partner find the tools to change what you need to change in your relationship to have a better sex life.

Changing Your Body

If you’ve just gained weight from having a baby, relax a little and be confident that your body will return to its normal size and shape if you maintain a healthy diet and exercise plan. If you’ve always been overweight though, consider taking what your partner is saying to heart (at least a little bit). It may be hard to hear, but being overweight just doesn’t make you unappealing to him, it also places hazards on your health. Overweight people are more at risk for high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as diabetes and other life threatening conditions. Consider losing weight for you. Think about how great you’ll feel afterwards! There are lots of ways to lose weight, but one of the most fun ways is through sex. Perhaps if you tell your partner about some new sex positions that you’ve learned help lose weight, he’ll be interested in joining the cause!

The 5 Hottest Oral Sex Tips On The Planet – For Her

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When giving your girl oral sex, you’re bound to rock her world no matter which techniques you use because let’s face it – almost every girl out there loves oral sex. There are, however, some oral sex techniques that will blow the rest out of the water. Just about every girl responds with earth shattering orgasms with these top 5 oral sex tips, so read on to find out how you can make your lady’s thighs quiver with pleasure.

Flick Her Clitoris With Your Tongue

Stick the tip of your tongue out and form it into the shape of a firm point. Lick your partner’s clitoris firmly from side to side (or up and down, whichever she responds to best) with the tip of your tongue, flicking it as fast as you can. This will bring her to orgasm faster than just about any other oral sex technique out there, because you’re actually stimulating the entire clitoris when you do this. The clitoris that you see on the outside of her vagina is not all there is to it – the clitoris actually runs on either side of her vulva, underneath the skin. By flicking it quickly with a firm pointed tongue, not only are you stimulating it from the outside, but the vibrations you’re creating stimulates the part that you don’t see as well.

Say Your ABC’s

If you want to take your time when going down on your partner, slowly working her up to a toe curling, sheet grabbing orgasm, use this simple yet effective technique to drive her absolutely wild. Form your tongue into a firm point and trace the tip of it over your partner’s clitoris in an “ABC” pattern. You’ll start with the letter “A”, tracing either a capital or a lowercase “A” onto her clitoris with your tongue. Do this slowly and work your way through the alphabet, all the way to the letter “Z.” This is a technique that is best performed at a slow pace, but you can also speed up how fast you trace the letters depending on what she seems to like. You can also vary your speed to bring her closer to orgasm and back down again until she just can’t hold it in anymore.

Finger Her While Licking Her Clitoris

To give her a blended orgasm, finger her while you go down on her. As you’re licking her clitoris, slowly insert your finger into her vagina palm side up. Feel for her g-spot and once you find it, use the “come hither” motion to stimulate it. Switch back and forth between licking her and fingering her, until she’s close. Then you can begin doing both techniques at once. Your partner will love having you stimulate both of her hot spots at once and her orgasm will be wall shaking!

Pinch Her Nipples

The super sensitive nerves in your partner’s nipples are connected to the pleasure nerves in her clitoris and vagina, so pinching or rubbing her nipples as you go down on her will drive her absolutely wild. To tease her, start by stimulating her nipples with your mouth and stimulating her clitoris with your fingers. After you’ve gotten her good and aroused, switch to stimulating her nipples with your hands and using your mouth where your hands used to be. She’ll love the different sensations on each of her body parts. If you can keep your balance, try fingering her g-spot as you lick her clitoris and pinch her nipples. The multiple sensations will bring her to a climax like no other!

Don’t Spare An Inch

When going down on your partner, don’t leave an inch of her vulva or vagina unexplored. This is easier if she practices good genital hygiene habits, so if she’s not super fresh beforehand, start by taking a shower with her and soaping her up first (this will also help turn her on). As you begin to lick your partner’s clitoris, don’t stop there. Move your tongue in and out of her every fold. You can even penetrate her vaginal opening with your tongue or place your entire mouth over her vulva and suck. Just use your creativity here and make sure you don’t leave anything between her legs un-licked or sucked on. When performing oral sex on a girl, many guys stick to the clitoris only, which leaves many sensitive spots unexplored. You’ll treat her to dozens of new sensations as you “go where no other has gone before.”