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Q&A: How Do I Ask Him If He’s A Virgin Without Offending Him?

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When in a new relationship with someone, it’s tempting to ask about your partner’s sexual past, especially if you’re a virgin. Should you? Yes – it can help you know more about your partner and help assess your risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease. But it’s not exactly the easiest issue to bring up – here’s how to do it.

Question: I’m 19 years old and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, 22, for over a month and a half. I’m a virgin and I really trust him and want to have sex with him, but there are some signs that he may or may not have had sex. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before to ask him whether or not he’s had sex but now I’m not sure how to approach him about it. How to do I ask him whether or not he’s a virgin without emasculating him and making him defensive? I really care about him and want him to be comfortable.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qopfttqm_4[/youtube]

Ask About Sex When You’re Not Having Sex

Asking your partner about their sexual history before, during or after sex are all really bad times to talk about it. Your partner will feel pressured, uncomfortable and may not give you an honest answer. You may even translate his discomfort to mean he’s hiding something from you – and he may not be, even if he seems uncomfortable or stressed out. Make sure to ask your partner about their sexual past during a time when there’s no sex involved – for example, a good time to have this conversation would be during a casual lunch or when you’re just hanging out and relaxing. The idea here is to put as little pressure on your partner as possible. Your attitude about the situation will reflect on him – if you feel like this is a “serious” situation, he will too and he’ll probably freak.

Making Him Feel Comfortable

Making your partner feel comfortable about talking about his sexual history is the only way you’re going to get any real information. Let your partner know that it’s okay whether he’s a virgin or not, and simply let him know that you’re curious. Volunteer your own sexual status to help make him more at ease with sharing his sexual past. Don’t grill him about it and if he’s not comfortable talking about it now, don’t pressure him into giving you an answer right away. Give him time and ask him when he might be ready to talk about it. Let him know it’s not an interrogation – and don’t make him feel like it’s one either.

Why Ask At All?

Some people believe in “don’t ask, don’t tell” when it comes to sharing your sexual history with your partner and vice versa. If you and your partner are more comfortable not talking about it all together, this may work for you. But usually, getting a sexual background on your partner – not necessarily all the dirty details but just the gist – will help you get to know your partner better. Knowing whether your partner has had unprotected sex with a number of people can help you make smarter decisions about safe sex.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Like When I Touch Her G-Spot

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Finding a woman’s g-spot and learning how to give her pleasure can make your sex life hotter, but what if your partner doesn’t like g-spot stimulation? Does it mean that you are doing something wrong, or that your partner just doesn’t like having her g-spot stimulated? Here’s what you can do if your partner doesn’t dig g-spot pleasure.

Question: My girlfriend says it’s uncomfortable when I touch her g-spot and she feels like she needs to pee. Any tips on making it more pleasurable for her?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ElwphVlfl4[/youtube]

Feeling The Need To Pee

It is actually very common for women to feel like they have to pee during sex. Does this translate into the true need to urinate? Not usually – although it is possible. Many of the nerve endings near a woman’s vagina and clitoris are tied together, including the nerve endings to the bladder. It is not at all out of the ordinary for a woman to feel like she has to pee when she is being stimulated one way or another. Although it is common, it doesn’t mean that it is comfortable for your partner. It can distract her from feeling pleasure because she’s afraid she’ll urinate during sex. Sex will be more pleasurable for your partner if she’s not worried about being embarrassed in front of you.

What You Can Do

There are a few things you can do to help your partner alleviate the feeling of needing to urinate during sex. Have your partner go to the bathroom right before sex. This way, she knows she doesn’t have to actually urinate and can simply attribute these feelings to other nerve endings being stimulated. Your partner can actually stop taking liquids an hour or two before sex also, if this makes her feel better. Remember that iced tea and coffee are both diuretics, meaning that these may make her feel like she has to urinate more often than usual. If your partner is also on a medication that causes her to feel the need to pee often, talk to your doctor about a change in medication if possible.

Changing Your Techinques

You may be stimulating her g-spot too hard or too quickly if she’s still finding it uncomfortable to be stimulated there. Make sure you allow your partner plenty of warm up time before trying to stimulate her g-spot, and you can go one step further by ensuring she has an orgasm before you even head for the g-spot. Often, a woman will find vaginal stimulation uncomfortable or even painful if she hasn’t been allowed enough time for foreplay. Foreplay allows the vagina to moisten and relax and sends signals to the brain to get ready for sex. Make sure she is wet or use plenty of lube to avoid any discomfort caused by friction. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t and ask for her suggestions. Ladies, take this opportunity to purchase a great sex toy and try stimulating your g-spot on your own. When you find out what feels good, let your partner know and show him how to do what you like.

What Is Date Rape?

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When we think of rape, our minds automatically drift to a stranger crouching low in a dark alleyway as he waits for a girl – a runner, a student walking home from class, a woman unloading groceries from her car. It doesn’t matter to him who it is. But there is more than one kind of rape. About half of all rapes are considered “date rape.” The victim usually knows the perpetrator and may even have had sexual contact with him before. No still means no – even when you’re on a date.

What Is Date Rape?

Date rape usually occurs one a date, but doesn’t have to. With date rape, the victim often knows the rapist. Generally, women and girls are the more common victims of date rape, but it happens to boys and men too. Date rape is considered unwilling, forced sex with someone you’re friends with, have a relationship with or are on a date with. While getting to know someone or going on a date with them usually doesn’t end in rape, it can. It’s time to shed light on the fact that a rapist isn’t just a creepy unshaven guy who hangs out in parking lots waiting to rape. It can be the cute guy at the coffeehouse who asked for your phone number or the seemingly harmless guy you met on Facebook. It can even be your boyfriend.

No Means No

Sometimes the lines aren’t clear when it comes to date rape. Some people believe that if a girl wears provocative clothes to a club or on a date that she’s looking for sex or sexual attention. Others believe that if a girl has previously had sex or any type of sexual contact with a man that it doesn’t matter if she says “no” this time. These are myths – no always means no, no matter what you’re wearing, who you’re with and whether you’ve kissed them before or had intercourse with them before. If you’ve made yourself clear that you do not want to have sex, if you are forced to do so, it is considered rape or date rape and you are not at fault.

Preventing Date Rape

Following your instincts is one of the best ways to stay safe – if you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, don’t try to talk yourself out of it. Listen to your gut – if you feel like you should leave somewhere or get away from someone, do it even if it seems silly. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help if you feel as though you’re in a dangerous situation. It’s better to be safe than sorry! Be sober and get familiar with your surroundings when you’re out and about, and if you’re with a partner, avoid being alone with them until you really get to know them. Be up front and honest about sex and make sure you’re clear on what you want. Don’t seem unsure, because date rapists can take advantage of that. Let your partner know exactly what is okay and what isn’t okay, and don’t appear undecided about it. Be calm and confident!

Q&A: Is My Boyfriend Only In It For The Sex?

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When you’re in a sexual relationship with someone, things can get complicated. Lots of questions can come up, and many of them can be difficult to discuss with your partner. If your partner wants to have sex all the time, it might make you wonder if your partner is only in it for the sex, or do they really enjoy your company? How can you tell?

Question: I think my current boyfriend may be in it only for the sex (everyone says he’s a sex addict). The first month was amazing and now it’s just like he only wants to hang if we are going to have sex. How can I tell if he’s just into it for the sex?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGFhxxmRw2g[/youtube]

Does A High Sex Drive Mean They Don’t Love You?

In this situation, it’s important not to confuse your partner having a high sex drive with their feelings for you. If your partner has a high sex drive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t enjoy spending time with you if you’re not having sex. Your partner may just have a large sexual appetite. Ask yourself this – does your partner only want to spend time with you if he knows that sex will be involved or does he simply want to have sex with you when you’re together? If it’s the latter, it doesn’t mean he wants you only for sex – it just means that he really likes having sex with you!

Listen To Your Gut

It can be difficult to distinguish whether your partner wants you just for sex or just really likes having sex with you a lot. No one can tell you the answer to this question – it’s something you have to find out yourself. Listen to your gut and follow your instincts. How does he act when you’re together and not having sex? What does he say when he’s away from you? Try letting your partner know that you want to have a date or spend time with him where there’s no sex involved, because you really enjoy his company. What is his reaction? Just be careful not to place blame on him or criticize him while you’re still trying to find out what his true motives are. If he really does care for you, finding out that you think he’s only in it for the sex might be very hurtful to him.  

If He’s In It For The Sex

If you find out that your partner is just in it for the sex, consider letting him go and moving on – just make sure that you’re confident that he’s only in the relationship for sex or you might be giving up a relationship with someone who truly cares about you. However, if you’re really sure that he only wants sex, don’t stay with him because you think you won’t meet anyone else or because you think youll be able to make him care for you. There are many people out there who will want to have a fulfilling relationship with you, sexually and emotionally.

Q&A: Should We Take Ecstasy To Improve Our Sex Life?

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It can be tempting to try just about anything to spice up your sex life. If you’ve heard of ecstasy, you probably know that many people who have taken it have said it gave them the “best sex of their lives.” Is this true? Is ecstasy safe to take? Should you take ecstasy to make your sex life hotter?

Question: My boyfriend & I have been together for about a year. Our friends have told us that ecstasy is good for the sex life.
I kinda want to try it. I would like to know what you think. What should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H86Fyr9Tjw[/youtube]

Ecstasy And Sex

While many people believe that ecstasy can enhance sex, it only does so for a short time. Often, people who have sex on ecstasy report eventually not being able to have satisfying sex at all without the drug and therefore become addicted to sex on ecstasy. Not only can the drug eventually ruin your sex life unless you have it, it can also be dangerous to your health. Many teens and adults who are sold what they think is ecstasy are actually unknowingly taking other drugs that can easily cause overdose, convulsions, bleeding out and death. Since ecstasy is difficult to manufacture due to the inability to easily obtain its controlled ingredients, other dangerous but easier to get ingredients are substituted, changing the drug’s composition into something unknown. Even ecstasy that contains only the true ingredients of the drug can cause long term depression, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping and an overdose can cause more serious problems including death. Taking ecstasy to make sex hotter is a personal choice, but is it worth the risk? Probably not.

Having A Great Sex Life Without Drugs

It is possible to have an amazing, fantastic sex life with your partner that absolutely rocks your world every time you have sex without the use of dangerous drugs. Trying new things in the bedroom can help spice up your sex life, and you can even try visiting a sex therapist to get some pointers on how to become emotionally and sexually closer to your partner so you can start experiencing explosive sex. Even if your sex life seems dull right now, you can give it a jolt without the dangers of using drugs.

Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is a great way to feel emotionally and sexually close to your partner, and many people who regularly practice Tantric sex report that each and every time is amazing. Learning how to use Tantric sex to make your sex life unforgettable isn’t hard – there are many books and websites devoted to this form of sex. Tantric sex helps you to learn how to balance your body, mind and spirit and become open to giving and receiving pleasure. There are many elements of Tantric sex that will be new to you, and it can help make your sex life more interesting and exciting than you ever thought possible. Tantric sex will also help to improve the emotional connection you have with your partner, and great sex comes more easily to two people who are deeply connected on an emotional and spiritual level.