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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

Q&A: Can Masturbation Cause Weight Gain Or Stunted Growth?

By loveandsex

Masturbation myths are everywhere. Does masturbation cause blindness, weight gain or stunted growth? Will too much masturbation make your palms grow hairy or make your penis get bigger? Hearing all of these masturbation tall tales can definitely cause some confustion about masturbation in general, especially for boys just beginning to discover masturbation and their own sexuality. What is the truth when it comes to masturbation and myths?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Myth or fact – can masturbation cause weight gain or stunted growth?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNDhCv6_yQA[/youtube]

Is Masturbation Harmful?

In one word: No. Masturbation can actually be healthy for boys going through puberty as well as adult men. Almost every man masturbates, and most boys do too when they going through puberty. Masturbation relieves sexual frustration and can help you relax and improve your mood. Masturbation can be harmful if done too much, and in this case, “too much” is not subjective at all. If your penis becomes raw or begins to hurt, you’ll know you’re masturbating too much. Other than masturbation abuse, it is not harmful at all. It won’t cause blindness or make your palms go hairy, or even cause weight gain or stunt your growth. These are all myths that are associated with masturbation that simply don’t have any truth to them. .

Where Did The Masturbation Myths Come From?

Masturbation is often considered taboo, although less so now than it used to be. Several years ago, especially in religious societies, masturbation was considered “bad” or even “evil.” Masturbation was considered an abomination in some societies and in others, it was simply something men “didn’t do.” As a result, mothers wanted to keep their sons from learning that masturbation could be pleasurable and created myths that masturbation would cause all kinds of horrible things to happen to any boy that masturbated. Boys and men lived in fear that if they did masturbate, something bad would happen to them as a result. In addition to the fear of physical consequences of masturbation, with such noticeable conditions as sudden blindness or hairy palms, the entire town would know what they had been up to behind closed doors and they would then face social rejection as well. The only thing that masturbation myths are rooted in is fear.

Should I Talk To My Doctor About Masturbation?

Doctors know that pretty much every guy masturbates, so if you’re a healthy guy, you don’t need to talk to your doctor about your masturbation habits. You DO need to talk to your doctor if you find that you’re masturbating too much, or it is painful or your penis is becoming raw. These things are not symptoms you experience from normal, healthy masturbation. Also, if you are experiencing unexplained weight gain or growth issues, those ARE things you need to talk to your doctor about because they’re not from masturbation – they could be a symptom of another medical condition.

All in all, masturbation is a healthy, natural part of every man’s life. It is natural for people to want to satisfy themselves sexually when they’re first learning about masturbation and their sexuality, as well as later in life as a part of a healthy and happy sex life.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: masturbation, sex advice, sex tips

Sex Tips For Older Men

By loveandsex

While many men reach their sexual prime in their late 20’s and 30’s, some men are still have an exceptional sex drive when they get older. Unfortunately, society as a whole suggests that the only thing men can do when they get older to have great sex is to take Viagra or an herbal supplement, use penis pumps, etc. Surely, older men have a better sex outlook than that! Here are some great sex tips for the older man.

More Foreplay

As men grow older, they may need more and more stimulation to acheive orgasm or to even become aroused. This is something that simply happens physically, when a man’s body starts to lose testosterone as he ages. Before you go out and buy a bottle of pills, try having more foreplay before sex, or even before masturbation. Women love foreplay, and this can be key to helping you acheive and maintain a healthy erection.

Maintain Good Health

Men with health problems, such as heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and other chronic health conditions, find that their sex life is also affected. Men taking certain medications may experience a decrease in their sex drive or the inability to get or maintain an erection, and men with some health conditions may also experience similar sexual side effects. It is important to see your doctor regularly for checkups and blood tests, and never be afraid to tell your doctor about your sex life and any sexual problems you have been having. Your doctor can help, and some sexual symptoms can indicate health problems your doctor wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Older men in good health report having a better sex life when they feel better, as opposed to men who aren’t physically healthy.

Try New Things

 If intercourse with your partner just doesn’t do it for you anymore, don’t automatically give up. Sex isn’t defined simply by intercourse, there are many varieties of sex that can still be fun at an older age. Try using toys, trying tantra or having anal play, and incorporate oral sex into your foreplay routine for both you and your partner. Remember that sex itself is only part of the intimacy that you share with your partner and that much of it comes from simply having skin to skin contact as well as kissing and hugging.

Don’t Get Stuck In A Rut

Many couples, both young and old, find themselves getting stuck in a sexual rut or routine. This can wreak havoc on an older man’s sex life because with his changing physical status, a sexual routine can quickly fail to keep him aroused. Constantly change your sex life around by trying new things, having sex at different times of the day or in different places. Make a definite effort to keep sex from ever being the same for too long to experience a more satisfying sex life.

Exercise And Eat Healthy

In addition to improving your physical health, exercise and healthy eating can also improve your sexual health as well as your emotional health. It is easy for a man with a changing sex life to become depressed or get down on himself, and staying positive and feeling good about yourself plays a big part in having a satisfying sex life.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: erectile dysfunction (ED), sex tips, viagra

How To Get A Threesome

By loveandsex

Threesomes are pretty much everywhere. Music, movies and television have been saturated with threesome fantasies and group sex, making having an actual threesome seem more taboo and even more sensual than it ever has before. Western society believes that if one thing is good (i.e. a sex partner) then more of that same thing is even better, therefore threesomes have quite the reputation as the “holy grail” of sex.

It’s most men’s biggest fantasy – 2 girls at once! But how do you make your threesome fantasy a reality? First, you have to get your partner on board. Here are some tips to help your wife or girlfriend be OK with and even want a threesome as much as you do!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucjLo6E5t9o[/youtube]

Make It Her Fantasy

You will never get anywhere with your partner if a threesome is your idea. She may begrudgingly agree to this to make you happy, but it will do nothing but turn this fantasy into emotional warfare between you and your partner. It may even end your relationship. So the most crucial thing you can do before you have a threesome is to make sure the threesome is something that she wants. How can you do that?

  • Watch adult films with her – and we don’t mean “porn.” Most porn is not something that is going to turn a woman on, at all. It can even be derogatory and turn her off of having a threesome altogether. Find a film that is more sensual and erotic, especially one that paints a threesome in a nice light and emphasizes how pleasurable having a threesome can be for the women involved. You can also try erotic literature. Many women respond better to erotic literature than they do visuals because they enjoy using their imaginations more than having simple visual stimulation.
  • Roleplay. Talk about having a threesome with your partner, and have a threesome roleplay session with a toy. Use your imagination to kind of bring the threesome idea into the bedroom, and playing pretend can sometimes be just as fun as the actual threesome itself!

The First Time Is About Her

When you finally do have the opportunity to have a threesome with your partner, don’t focus so much on yourself the first time. You may be super excited to finally be acting out your ultimate fantasy, but this often leaves the partner feeling like the “third wheel” which can be absolutely detrimental to your relationship! Make absolutely sure that the first time is all about her and she feels like the threesome is you and another girl pleasuring her and not you getting pleasured by another girl while she watches. Make her the star of the show this time and you’ll most likely have another chance to enjoy yourself in a threesome. If she feels like a third wheel, or feels like you are paying too much attention to the other girl the first time, you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll never be having a threesome with her ever again.

Make Sure Your Partner Knows You Want Her

After a threesome, communicate with your partner how much you love her and cherish her. Make sure she feels that you are attracted to her and value her above all others. Ask her how she felt about the threesome and ask her if there’s anything she would have done differently or would like to try in the future. Give her a say in it and make her feel loved and you have a much better chance of a repeat threesome.

Filed Under: Swingers & Threesomes Tagged With: group sex, sex tips, swingers, threesome

Best Threesome And Swinger Articles Of 2009

By loveandsex

Open relationships and swinging topics were more popular this year than ever before. With songs like Britney Spears’ “3,” having a threesome is on everyone’s mind. Lots of people have already experienced a threesome, and many are still curious about how to swing and have a good time with your partner and your friends. Swinging, however, takes a bit more finesse and planning than simply getting drunk and fooling around if you want it to be successful. One of our favorite topics on Ask Dan And Jennifer is swinging, from everything on how to tell if your relationship is ready for swinging to what to do if you’re curious about having a threesome. Take a look at some of our favorite threesome and swinger articles of 2009, because next year, threesomes and swinging might just be even hotter!

  • Britney Spears “3″ – Are Threesomes “In?”
  • I’m Attracted To Girls – How Can I Share A Threesome With My Husband?
  • How To Find Your Swinging Comfort Zone
  • Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong?
  • The Psychology Of Swinging – What’s A Curious Girl To Do?
  • He Feels A Threesome Will Solve Our Sex Issues – I Disagree
  • The Swinger Lifestyle and Open Relationships – Is it Really CHEATING?

Filed Under: Swingers & Threesomes Tagged With: swingers, threesome

Best BDSM And Kink Articles Of 2009

By loveandsex

Kink, bondage, cuckold fantasies, cross dressing – you name it, it’s out there. Everyone likes something different in the bedroom, whether it’s traditional, vanilla sex, light bondage or something totally extreme. Our motto is as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no one is getting hurt, it’s all good! This year, questions about bondage, BDSM and kink came in from all over the globe and we answered the questions you were asking about everything from watching your woman have sex with another man to a husband who wants to videotape his wife having sex with a donkey. No, we weren’t afraid to “go there!” Check out some of our best, no-holds barred BDSM and kink articles from 2009.

  • Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It?
  • How Do I Introduce BDSM To My Boyfriend?
  • Is Cross Dressing A Turn Off To Women?
  • Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex – Is It The Medication?
  • Help! My Boyfriend Wants To Be Tied Up!
  • My Husband Wants Me To Have Sex With A Donkey
  • Is My Foot Fetish Weird?
  • Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad?
  • What’s Your Safe Word? How to Get Off Without Getting Hurt
  • Sexual Fetishes – Is My Smoking Fetish Weird?

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, fetishes, kink, sexual fantasies

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