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How To Bring Out Your Inner MILF

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I remember when I first heard the term MILF. I spent time wondering what it was and ‘googling’ my way to becoming more informed on the code name. Coming across such websites as ‘milf hunter’ (kinky and somewhat funny because it’s so fake, in my opinion) and then realizing that MILF actually meant ‘Mother-I’d-Like-to-Fuck’.

I gotta admit, a devilish grin came across my face. Was this the category I was now in? No longer the fresh little kitty who could make men purrrr… Now I was identified as a ‘mother’ – it was different.

For me, the term MILF just inspires those of us who crave to hold fast to our desirable & sexual side of life. It means there is a SEXUAL creature under all of the “mommy-ness” that shields us.

Perhaps the ‘kitty’ had just evolved into a well experienced TIGRESS – and that was okay with me. After all, I happen to believe a true TIGRESS can make a man scream with passion v.s. a little kitty who can only entice a purr….

Losing Sight Of Our Sexual Prowess

On another note however, many women tend to lose sight of their sexual prowess once they become consumed by motherhood. It happens – a lot. It’s the tried & tested rule that most couples experience a lowering in sexual activity when children come into their lives.

I feel it’s so important for us “Mamas” to celebrate our sexuality and continue to harvest it. Too many women lose their individuality and the sexual connection with their partners with being so Mommy-focused.

It’s important to find the space where your sexual being still exists & to NEVER lose it. We all know who these Mommies are. They carry themselves well. They still have the swagger yet benefit from having more life experience and most often are in the throes of their prime sexual years.

Believe me, I take my kids to the park, I grocery shop with them, etc, etc. That doesn’t mean I can’t look good doing it! When you feel sexy, people know it.

I think in most cases a MILF is even more desirable then a fresh kitty. We are sexually mature women in our prime!  We know what we want & more importantly, how to get it!

Bringing Out Your Inner MILF….

Bringing out your MILF-iest self doesn’t have to be a grandiose undertaking.  Sometimes it’s the little things.  Wear heels when you grocery shop, walk like you KNOW you’ve got a great thong on under those jeans.

Even the kinkiest of MILF’s can carry off that prowess with the just rolled out of bed look. A hot pair of sunglasses and some flirty lipstick is sometimes all it takes. 

The important point here is that you BELIEVE IT! FEEL like you are the erotic sexual being you know exists beneath the surface of your Motherly responsibilities. 

Not everyone with GREAT sex appeal is the best looking, but FEELING the sexual vibe can do a lot for yourself and your confidence and for getting noticed.  Don’t dread your 30’s & 40’s ladies. WORK ‘em! 

Isn’t this the age where we feel the most comfortable in our own skin?  Take it a step further and exude your most sexually MILF-charged self! 

Here’s to my MILF sistas of the world; never lose your swagger ladies! Someone is always taking notice.

The Elusive G-Spot – How To Find It And What To Do With It When You Do

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Orgasms by themselves are often difficult for many women to achieve, let alone the mystical G-Spot orgasm. Learning how to find the G-Spot and achieve orgasm solely through penetration is an incredible way to strengthen the sexual bond you have with your partner and enrich your sex life.

The trick is, how tricky is it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend can only have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation.  I want to pleasure her more – how can I find the G-spot everyone is talking about and make sex with her last longer?

–Sean, Oklahoma

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv106uHOkNY[/youtube]

Needing Clitoral Stimulation

If your partner needs clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm every time, don’t worry – it’s perfectly normal. In fact, that’s why the clitoris is there – providing pleasure and orgasm is it’s only job. That doesn’t mean that you should give up on the elusive G-Spot though.

Learning how to pleasure your partner through both clitoral and G-Spot stimulation can help make your sex life incredibly satisfying for both you and your partner. Did you know that a woman can even have a clitoral orgasm and a G-Spot orgasm at the same time?

In fact, clitoral stimulation will often help a G-Spot orgasm along and vice versa. If you’re interested in finding a woman’s G-Spot, there is a ton of literature that will give you some great information on how to find it and what to do with it when you do.

Practice Makes Perfect

When you begin learning the techniques you need to use to bring your partner to orgasm through G-Spot stimulation, you may not be very good at it right away. It takes time to learn what your partner likes and what they don’t like and even the best techniques may need to be modified according to your partner’s specific likes and dislikes.

Take some time to practice with your partner and try different techniques until you find the ones that work the best. You can also try looking online for forums or message boards where other people have talked about the techniques they like to use. Don’t be afraid to add your input – you might get some tips from other people that can really help you out.

Providing Feedback

The most important aspect of learning how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation is to be open to receiving feedback and of course, making sure your partner is open to giving feedback. While trying out different techniques, let your partner know that she should tell you what feels good and what doesn’t.

If she has any suggestions on what might feel better or how to modify a certain technique to make it more pleasurable, let her know that suggestions are welcome. Be open to receiving positive criticism as well – it’s a learning process and you’ll learn much more if you are open to listening about what you’re doing right (and wrong) without getting your feelings hurt.

This way, you can learn what really gets your partner going, whether it’s G-Spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation or a mixture of the two.

Learning how to reach the G-Spot and how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation isn’t always easy and it does take some patience from both partners.

With time, effort and a positive attitude, you can use G-Spot stimulation during intercourse, oral sex and other types of sexual play to enhance your partner’s pleasure and make your sex life and sexual connection more satisfying.

Oral Sex – Should It Hurt?

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Oral sex is one of the most pleasurable sex acts that couples can engage in and many people enjoy giving and receiving oral sex. It’s a great way to strengthen the bond between two individuals and keep your sex life satisfying, but sometimes it can hurt! Should oral sex hurt or is there really something wrong?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

When wife gives me oral sex, it seems to hurt more than it feels good. Is there something wrong with me?

–Kevin, Michigan

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOqoRnsTGHA[/youtube]

When Does It Hurt?

It’s important to find out when your genitals hurt or become uncomfortable. If your genitals hurt all the time, such as during oral sex, during urination and at other times, you might want to consider making an appointment with your doctor.

While oral sex can sometimes hurt if the person giving oral sex doesn’t have good technique, your genitals should not hurt or be uncomfortable at other times. It never hurts to get checked out – it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Technique

Most likely, your partner’s technique is what is causing you discomfort. Both types of oral sex – fellatio and cunnilingus – can become uncomfortable and even painful if your partner doesn’t have good technique. Teeth can get in the way and even a tongue that moves too quickly or is rough can become uncomfortable.

Abrasive facial hair is a big issue for women receiving oral sex as it can often make the genitals raw and painful after an oral sex session. Often, both men and women have poor technique when it comes to oral sex. Men are often too rough with women during cunnilingus and many women suck too hard or squeeze too tight during fellatio.

If receiving oral sex from your partner is uncomfortable and painful at all, try to pinpoint exactly what they’re doing that is causing you discomfort. Is your partner pressing too hard with their teeth, or are their teeth scraping you too hard? Is your partner performing oral sex on you too fast or using their hands in a way that feels rough?

Talk To Each Other

When it comes to oral sex – or any kind of sex, for that matter – communication between the two partners is key. If something becomes uncomfortable or painful, it’s important to let your partner know in a completely non-critical way.

Let your partner know that a certain activity is uncomfortable, but also suggest something that you like instead. Giving your partner positive feedback during an oral sex session is one of the best ways to communicate to your partner what not to do, simply by letting them know what you do like.

If you like a certain maneuver or technique during oral sex, your partner will automatically want to use that technique to give you the maximum amount of pleasure. Just let your partner know what you like! If your partner is going something wrong, suggest ways that they can do it differently that would be more pleasurable for you or keep oral sex from being uncomfortable.

Back and forth communication is the best way to keep oral sex pleasurable instead of becoming uncomfortable or painful. Your partner will most likely appreciate positive input and your sexual relationship will become better and more fulfilling and satisfying.

His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage

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Tantric sex refers to ‘Sacred Sex’ and can be a very powerful way to connect to your lover.  In tantric sex, the terms “‘Yoni” and “Lingam” to refer to our nether regions.

“Yoni,” or Vagina, means “Sacred Place” and is said to be the source of Divine Female Sexual Power; “Lingham” or “Vajra” refers to the Penis and this term means “Wand of Light” and is said to represent Divine Male Sexual Energy and Consciousness.

The terms used in tantric sex are a far cry from the Western approach to using some not-so-pleasant terms to describe our nether regions. Partners are revered as a ‘Beloved’ and are to be valued, respected, nurtured and cared for.

Setting the Scene For Pleasure

Set the scene for your Tantric Night of Pleasure by taking the time to prepare a deliciously sensual environment. Put some thought into creating a warm, relaxing, and seductive space within which to begin your Tantric Yoni and Lingham massage, or His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage.

Your space should have:

A great location — make sure your space is warm and inviting

Soothing sounds — put on some relaxing and soothing music for a calm environment

Beautiful sights — as the Japanese saying goes, “The First Bite is With the Eyes.” Create a visually stunning atmosphere by decorating your space with colorful flowers or rose petals. You can also get together some cushions and place some meaningful or symbolic objects around the bed to represent a calm, safe and loving space.

Proper dress — dress yourself up and make an effort to look good for your partner. Make sure your personal hygiene is up to par, including brushing your teeth and smelling appealing. Make it sensual by taking a shower or bath together and remember that poor hygeine is one of the biggest turn offs in the bedroom.

Try to set some time aside for your Tantric Pleasure Experience as a way to honor your lover, develop skills, relax and focus the mind and spirit.

Massage your lover’s entire body for at least 30 minutes before starting your Intimate Tantric massage. By slowly charging up and circulating your sexual energy, the Yoni and Lingham will be more sensitive to your touch.

Massaging the Yoni

If you’re massaging your lover’s Yoni, start by resting one hand over the area and the other over her heart. Visualize energy from your heart flowing through your hands into her heart and Yoni.

This is a great way to balance emotions and to create a deeper connection between lovers. Lightly pour some warmed cold pressed, organic vegetable oils (sesame, almond, olive) over your hands and let the oil drip slowly over the Yoni and Clitoris.

Always start from the outside in. Start by teasing and caressing her outer lips, pubic mound, proceeding to the inner lips, and massage the opening of the vagina very gently. After at least 15-20 minutes of playful teasing, gently take the clitoris between your fingers and massage slowly (but not directly) around the sides and base.

Take Your Time

Remember you are building sensation and pleasure, so do not go straight for the kill. Take your time and layer the sensations.

If her excitement  starts to build quickly, slow down and stop and encourage her to take a few slow and deep breaths.

Now you can gently insert one finger inside and massage along the inner wall. If she’s ready, insert 2 fingers and do the same. Always get feedback, and ask her what’s working best. Alternate by removing your hand from her Yoni and then massage her clitoris moving slowly toward the head. Give her at least 40 minutes of divine pleasure and feel her melt in your hands – literally!

For the Men

For your male lover, begin again by giving him a luxurious body massage for at least 30 minutes. Drip warm oil (vegetable, organic and cold pressed) over the Lingham or Penis, Scrotum and Perinuem (a small circular area between the Scrotum and Anus).

Gently massage up and down the shaft and very lightly at the head. Remember you are slowly building up a wonderful crescendo, so initially less is more. Massage the scrotum gently, all while getting feedback from him as to the pressure preferred.

The Perinuem is referred to as the ‘Sacred Spot’ by Tantrists and is great place to give him some incredible sensations. This is a very sensitive area, so apply only gently pressure using the tips of your finger in a circular motion for a few minutes at a time.

Increase the pressure of your strokes over and along the Lingham, and massage the head by twisting your hand in a left-right direction. If his sensations become too intense, stop and slow down, and encourage him to take some slow deep breaths.

(Do not use pure or diluted essential oils internally or near intimate areas and avoid oil based products – use only pure, organic vegetable oils such as olive or grape seed oils)

What is Tantra?

“Tantra” refers to the concept of ‘Expansion Through Awareness’ and by expansion we mean the opening of the mind and spirit, the deepening of the soul, the experience of pleasure and bliss and hopefully complete union with your lover and the cosmos.

Sexual energy is awakened through a variety of practices (tantric massage being one of them), channeled throughout your own body, between yourself and your lover, concentrated in the heart and directed to the Universe.

Sex therefore represents a movement of energy rather than a rush to the end, a masterful or stressful performance, or a sleeping aid at the end of a long and anxiety fueled day.

The slow, luxurious release approach of intimate tantric massage is always a  welcome indulgence. So lavish the Yoni and Lingham with pure sensuality and divine love and attention.

The Truth About Giving Oral Sex

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Oral sex can be tough work! Trying to please your partner orally requires lots of stamina and skill.

It can also be very pleasurable to give your partner oral sex.  There’s nothing quite like giving your partner oral sex, but is it harder to give oral sex to one gender than another?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I can’t come to an agreement – who works harder in bed? Is it easier for a woman to give oral sex to a man or for a man to give oral sex to a woman?

–Jeff, North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJn2DTMY-Q4[/youtube]

If You Like It . . .

While it would be easier to say that it’s harder going down on one gender over another, the true answer to that question is a little more complicated than that and it has nothing to do with sex or gender.

If you really enjoy giving your partner oral sex, and a lot of people do, it’s actually going to be easier for you to give oral sex than it would be for someone who doesn’t enjoy it.

Whether you’re going down on a guy or a gal, if you really enjoy doing it, it doesn’t seem like work, does it?

To some people who don’t enjoy giving their partner oral sex, pleasing them orally might seem like a chore. For this type of person, giving their partner oral sex is actually more difficult than it is for someone who really likes to do it.

Warming Up The Oven

There is, however, a bit of truth to the argument that giving oral sex to a woman is harder than it is to give oral sex to a man. The theory is that many women require a great deal of foreplay and need to be “warmed up” before they become sexually aroused.

As a result, going down on a woman simply takes longer to bring her to climax than a man would need to reach climax through oral sex. This isn’t something that is set in stone though.

It truly varies from individual to individual. You might find that it doesn’t take long at all for some women to reach climax through oral sex, while it takes some men a reasonably long time to do the same.

Gender Doesn’t Matter

Whether you’re a girl going down on a guy, a guy going down on a girl or any combination of the above, it can be easy or difficult to perform oral sex on your partner depending on your personality and your own sexual preferences.

You might really like to perform oral sex on your partner or you may hate it.  How hard it is for you to do depends on your enthusiasm.

If you don’t like to give oral sex, you might find your preferences change after awhile, making it easier for you to pleasure your partner orally. Leave yourself open to the prospect of really growing to enjoy pleasing your partner through oral sex, even if it seems more like a chore now.

Then again, you may never learn to like it. Either way, talk to your partner about how you feel about oral sex. If you are really having a hard time finding it enjoyable to give your partner oral sex, talk to them and find out if there is another way you can give them pleasure that is more arousing for you.