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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Sex Tips & Advice

Do You Measure Up When It Comes To Sex?

By loveandsex

Sex is what some men are good at and some aren’t – but how do YOU stack up against the best lover your girl has ever had sex with? Can you hold a candle to him?

Women Love Making Comparisons

They compare things like diamond sizes, or this year’s sales with last season’s – wishing to see who’s got the biggest stone, or the more elegant product line. (I told you they’re into details.) Most of all, women love weighing guys against each other when it comes to sex. Some are blunt about it, others are more sophisticated and subtle, but when they compare, boy, do they compare! They’ll weigh a man with just about anybody & anything.

Through comparisons, a girl fishes out who she considers the “best.”

What She’s Looking At

She’ll measure you against her ideal man – that perfect gentleman she’s been fantasizing about since she was 14. She’ll compare how you move, with how he moves. How you do her, and how Mr. Perfect supposedly does it. She’ll note every aspect of you and weigh it against her ideal. This of course, includes your penis size as well. Very easily, you will lose – you are bound to lose. (But don’t worry, if she cares enough, she’ll turn you into a project and begin changing every detail of your soul so you approximate her dream guy. Good luck on that one.) She’ll compare you with all the guys she’s ever had sex with – well, at least those she remembers.

So What About Sex?

There’s a hierarchy of guys in her head and if she’s been around the block more than once, she remembers the losers, the one-night stands and yes, even the breast masher. She’ll even compare her orgasms with you and those she gets via self-service – heck, she’ll even compare you with her sex toys. She won’t readily own up to these superficialities, she may not even notice she’s doing them.

But this does happen, and in this game of comparisons, it pays to be unique. The female brain is always on the prowl for something new, something different. The moment she realizes you’re just like the rest, she will brush you off. A girl can’t attend to every insignificant person that comes her way.

Her Emotions Are Involved Too (Of Course)

Her emotions will certainly command a big share of how she sees you as a bedmate. Everybody may see you as a pitiful excuse for a human being, and therefore a waste of skin, but if you’ve hostaged a woman’s emotions, everything and everybody else don’t matter. You may really lose all comparisons, but if she’s that into you, she’ll let you win! If she’s flushed with EMOTIONS, if she’s sooo head-over-heels, you could ooze with sexual lameness and she’ll still be adoring you.

Letting It Go And Being Confident

By the way, none of these comparisons and emotions thing is objective. They are never objective. Remember, people, especially women, are not logical creatures, although they’d like to think they are. You’re dealing here with judgments that can be muddled by her perceptions, expectations and preferences. (Come to think of it, who in this world is completely objective?)

Many guys ask me: Is it possible that one woman will judge you great in bed while another count you as average?

Of course! Knowing the nature of humans and sex, expect that. Nobody bats a perfect thousand. Accept that, have confidence in bed anyways and you’re golden.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: confidence, have better sex, penis size, sex tips

How To Be A Confident Lover

By loveandsex

Sex tips are what makes someone great in bed, right? Maybe not – here’s what it takes to have confidence when you’re getting it on. These sex tips are HOT!

When it comes to sex, nothing is bigger than confidence. Absolutely nothing. This trait alone will get you laid way more times than any god-like appearance.

He who feels he doesn’t belong in the same room or breathe the same air as a woman doesn’t deserve to get laid. She doesn’t want to be with a guy who fidgets like fish out of water, of course not! Insecurity is a turn-off worse than halitosis – it damns you by killing the mood and messing up your moves. A good lover doesn’t fluster his woman with any squirming or twitching, he comes to sex with no apologies, stands naked with self-worth intact, raw with confidence. He gets women thinking, “This guy knows what he is doing.”

Sex is something he desires, not fear – his confidence springing from a blend of knowledge and experience. He knows exactly what to do, and he’s done it many times – he exudes bewitching self-assurance.

How Confidence Manifests Itself

Imagine the bedroom is submerged in a swimming pool and the two of you are making love underwater. That’s how slow and smooth you should go – as if your body is moving through water. This says to a girl, “I have no nervous energy to dissipate because I am comfortable with the situation. You should be too.” It’s more relaxing than any nervous tick.

You can move faster as the sexual process unfolds, but never be in a hurry – that has always been the rookie mistake. Women don’t stay around with guys who act like someone’s chasing them, but they flock towards confidence. As I’ve said, the confident get laid way more than any ridiculously good-looking insecure guy.

What Sexual Confidence Really Is

Sexual confidence is simply knowing what you’re doing as a result of having (the right) sex tips and (the right) experience. That’s what it really boils down to. But these things won’t come knocking on your door, you’d have to grab them by the balls. That’s what you’re doing right now, you’re investing in the ‘knowledge’ part. As a result of the, you will know exactly what to do and will have the confidence leading your woman.

But sex is one of those things you master not by reading volumes, but by actually experiencing the dirty work for yourself. So go get some! Getting the right experience, I can only guarantee you one thing: you’re gonna have to pay your dues. You’ll commit mistakes – a lot of them. Now let me be completely clear. You can have one single partner your entire life and learn to be a masterful lover. You do NOT have to be with multiple women. In fact, that can be one of the biggest turn-offs to women – a guy who is “well used.”

You’ll crash, you’ll burn, you’ll be scratching your head in exasperation – well, maybe not that dramatic, you could simply be doing the moves and not getting the expected reaction. You waited for her to enter ecstasy, but she didn’t. She didn’t react at all.

What To Do When You Crash And Burn

How you handle situations like this will dictate if you will ever become great in bed. You need to be able to roll with the punches and not be bothered with disappointments. Don’t let them take you out of the moment and prevent your enjoyment of sex, don’t make a big deal out of it.

I have yet to meet a man who has gone on to become sexually confident but didn’t go through this journey of discovery. There may be shortcuts when it comes to sexual knowledge, but there are none when it comes to experience.

Honestly, this is the most exciting part of building sexual confidence – being in the trenches, learning and enjoying the process. As I’ve said, this is also the most decisive part, you could either get better over time, or your perfectionist and emotional tendencies could get the better of you and lead to a negative spiral where you get incompetent over time.

If I were you, I would just enjoy the process, NO PRESSURES.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: confidence, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

What Makes A Great Lover?

By loveandsex

Do sex tips make a man good in bed? Or are some men naturally great, while others have to study sex tips constantly? What is it that makes a guy incredible?

Everybody wants to be like him, but who exactly is he? How does he THINK & MOVE?

What A Great Lover Is

Unfortunately, Great Lovers (GL’s) do not wear nametags. This is for personal protection against droves of women who wish to camp on their beds. One can’t spot GL’s by eye inspection, and you may have been in the presence of one in the past, but never knew about it. Don’t be deceived with what you see. Don’t look for great bods and gorgeous pecs, for GL’s are rarely these.

In fact, let go of all your physical biases. GL’s can be short, fat, trimmed or thin. Physical attributes have little bearing on this regard.

It’s their sexual programming that makes them gold. They are Great Lovers because of how they THINK, not because of how they look. Thoughts – the software of actions. We are moved by our thoughts, we move according to our thoughts.

How They Think & Move Differently Than Other Guys

How do they move? Great Lovers are never in a hurry, they are living for the MOMENT. The past is gone, the future is none, the PRESENT is all there is.

He’s the gentlest of all. There’s silent confidence blanketing the man with no performance anxieties, no pressure to blow the mind of any woman and make her scream to the high heavens. He’s in no mission to impress anybody, which is a major turn-on by the way. He’s confident, but not arrogant. He doesn’t assume knowledge of everything, but is eager to learn.

Others assert authority, power and domination, GL’s simply assume these.

Are they push-overs? Certainly not. They simply GET IT.

They Understand The Psychology Behind Sex

While most men go for the raw hump, GL’s realize that emotions are the most powerful tools in their arsenal. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the context of an intimate relationship or a one-night stand, when a girl is on his bed, she bathes in EMOTIONS. GL’s make women F-E-E-L.

Technique-wise, GL’s are known for their legendary TRANSITIONS from the SENSUAL to the SEXUAL. They’re so smooth, women can’t draw the line between foreplay, play and afterplay. Everything flows and they don’t strain towards making things happen. A GL transitions a girl into every gut wrenching position, without her realizing it. They don’t flip and pounce.

The sex lasts longer, not because he’s able to delay ejaculation, but because he knows other stuff besides thrust and hip movements.

Now, compare that to the workings of a gorgeous yet crude boy. If you’re a woman, who would you lay? Are you still wondering why GL’s won’t have to whine for sex? They rarely have one-night stands because their woman responds in hand and gives him no reason to go elsewhere.

Are they perfect lovers? Of course not! What makes them so great is their ability to positively differentiate themselves from 95% of guys who make love the exact same way.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, making love, sex tips

What You Need To Know About Double Penetration

By serenapaige

Double penetration, known in the trade as DP, is when two objects are put inside of a woman. This could be anal penetration and vaginal penetration or two objects per one orifice. If you are thinking about double penetration and you would like to try it out, there are a few things that you need to know before you get started. Being safe with is essential. Choosing how you are going to get DP’d can be one of the biggest safety issues with the activity. If you are newbie to this sex position, here are a few concerns that you must take into account.

Use Plenty Of Lube

Lube is essential for making your double penetration as comfortable and pleasurable as possible. When you are choosing a lube, make sure that it’s water-based. KY and Astroglide work best with toys and with a real penis. Apply the lube to your vagina and your anus, not just the men or the sex toys. Make sure that you’re not just adding lube to the exterior of your vagina and anus. The walls need to have a lot of lube on them prior to the objects entering you.

Relaxation Is Key

Relaxing the muscles in your anus will make the experience much more pleasurable. The muscles in your anus will naturally contract when the sex toy or the penis starts to go in. You need to learn how to relax the muscles so the toy or the penis can go deep. You will not get the same sensations if the penetrating object can only go in a half inch. Remember to breathe through the experience while keeping all of your anal muscles relaxed.

Consider Using Sex Toys

Sex toys can be one way that you have double penetration yourself. Using dildos, vibrators or butt plugs can make your first experience easy. Sometime it’s better to start out by yourself so you know what you like and how it’s going to feel. Bringing a partner or two partners into the mix when you don’t know if you’re going to like it could make the situation a little awkward. When using sex toys, make sure that you’re using the smaller toy for anal. If you have had a lot of experience with anal sex then you might not need to do this. However, if you’re a newbie to anal you could find a larger dildo very uncomfortable.

MMF Threesome

Many women find it extremely hot to have two guys taking her from both entrances. When you have two guys giving your double penetration, you must be safe. Condoms are a must and the best thing about them is that the condom will offer less resistance than an unprotected penis. When a penis is entering your body it could contract bacteria from your anus so do not allow the men to go inside your ass and then into your vagina. They must stay in the same hole to keep you safe. If you’re going with two penises in your vagina or anus, remember that there is an exponentially higher risk of the condoms breaking. You will need to use a lot of lube if this is what you want to do.

Consider Safety

As stated before, you must wear condoms when having double penetration. It’s also best to be on the pill and have the guys you are having sex with get tested before hand. If you are with your boyfriend and a sex toy, you probably know that he’s clean. It’s best to use a condom on the toy before you put it inside you just to keep the toy safe. Whether your boyfriend is going to enter your vagina or give you anal, it’s always recommended to use a condom with toys. If you aren’t too sure about having a sex toy in your ass, you can always lube up your boyfriend’s fingers. His fingers are going to be much smaller and can easily fit inside you comfortably.

Little Known Fact

Double penetration is reliant on muscle relaxation. One little known fact is that the muscles in your vagina and anus will be more relaxed after having an orgasm. If you are looking for an easy way to make the experience much more pleasurable on the first try, have your boyfriend finger you or give you oral sex before he gives you double penetration. This can also come in handy if you are going to be with two guys because it will cut down on the risk of the condoms breaking while they are inside you.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: anal sex, double penetration, lube, penetration, sex tips, threesome

How To Make Teen Sex Safer

By serenapaige

Teen sex isn’t at all uncommon. If you’re a teenager and considering sex, here’s how to make it safer. Teen sex is no fun if it ends in unwanted pregnancy!

As a teen you’re probably wondering about sex and what you can do to stay safe. Curiosity about sex is normal and it’s something that every teen goes through. It must be said that the only form of safe sex is abstinence. Even though this is the only foolproof way to stay safe, there are countermeasures that you can take to keep you and your partner free of STD’s or unwanted pregnancy. Here are a few ways that you can stay safe with your partner.

Use Condoms

Condoms are a necessity with teen sex. Not only condoms prevent pregnancy, it can prevent the transmission of STDs found in the seminal and vaginal fluids. Teens are notorious for misusing condoms or simply “pulling out.” When a condom is used properly, the chance of preventing pregnancy is about 97%. When used with lubrication, the condom is more unlikely to break. Don’t use household items like latex gloves, plastic wrap or balloons. Condoms are specifically made for the shape a penis and designed to stay on. Never use a condom twice.

Have Enough Lubrication

Lubrication is essential to giving the condom as little resistance as possible. If you’re considering having sex, make sure that you have a bottle of lube with you. Lube is relatively inexpensive and will cost about the same as a box of condoms. Don’t be fooled into thinking that lubricated condoms will be enough. Yes, the condoms come lubricated, but they can also get dried out of they have been in a drawer or in a car for as little as a week.

Where Can I Buy Condoms And Lube?

Teens primarily don’t want to go into a store to buy condoms and lube for fear of seeing somebody that they know. If you’re afraid of buying condoms and lube from a store, you can go to a Planned Parenthood or another health clinic and get them for free. These organizations are around to inform teens about sex and prevent unwanted pregnancy. Teen sex is on the rise and every teen has a responsibility to be informed of staying safe.

Consider Getting On The Pill

The pill is a good way to protect against pregnancy, but it does nothing for sexually transmitted diseases. If you are on the pill then you have taken the first step against getting pregnant. Now it’s important to know that you can still contract STI’s and STD’s. Make sure that your partner is wearing a condom every time that the two of you have sex. If you are considering the pill, there are a few things that you should know. The pill can affect different people different ways. It’s important to talk to your physician before you go on the pill Ask them how the pill they are putting you has affected other teens. Try to get on a pill that will keep your skin clear. Several of them will do this.

Are You Ready?

We’ve all read about teen sex, but ask yourself if you’re really ready to do it. If don’t know, ask yourself why you want to. Are you doing it to please a boyfriend? Do you really care about your boyfriend and you’re ready to take it further? Remember that as a teenager you will have hormones racing through your body and lust can easily misconstrued for love. Do not give into pressure from a boyfriend to have sex. This can ruin your first time and the first time should be special.

Make Sure It’s Legal

Teen sex is not something that usually ends up as front-page news, but there are laws against having sex with a minor. If you are under the age of consent in your state and your boyfriend is over the age of consent, you need to look up the legal ramifications for having sex. Your boyfriend could go to jail if you get caught. Remember this before you commit to anything.

It’s Okay To Say No

Saying no doesn’t mean that you’re a tease, it just means that you’re not ready. If you’re being pressured by your boyfriend to have sex and you don’t want to, you should tell him no. A lot of girls get pressured into sex with the fear that if they don’t do it, their boyfriends will leave them. If your boyfriend really cares about you then he will want you to be ready when it happens. If he doesn’t care about then he might break up with you.

Abstinence Is An Excellent Option

Abstinence is a choice that many girls make. This is very respectable and can improve the lives of women who choose to keep their virginity until marriage. Choosing abstinence is way of ensuring that you will complete school with a having a child and get into the work force quickly. This can also be a way to see if your boyfriend really loves you and if he’s willing to wait before the two of you have sex.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: birth control, condoms, have sex, how to have sex, lube, safe sex, sex tips, teen sex

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