Sex Tips & Advice

Q&A: Sexual Virgin – I’m Not Sure I’m Ready

Losing your virginity is a big step, and it’s one that you have to be emotionally and physically ready for. If you’re being pressured to have sex with someone and you’re a virgin, you may be tempted to lose your virginity just to get it “over with.” Fortunately, you don’t have to take that approach to losing your virginity. If you’re not ready, here’s how to be true to yourself and let your partner know what you’re comfortable with – and what you’re not comfortable with.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn,I am 14 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Recently he said he wanted to have sex and I am not sure if I do, but I am worried if I tell him that I don’t want to lose my virginity to him, he will think I am not into him anymore. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qcsDyZS9Zo[/youtube]

Staying True To Yourself

Being honest with yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing in this type of situation. If you’re not emotionally ready or physically ready for sex, there is absolutely no reason you should have to do it. Don’t try to convince yourself that having sex with your partner will make your relationship better or that your partner won’t think you like them if you don’t have sex with them. The only thing that matters here is what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with having sex, don’t do it! There are no external factors here. It’s only about you and what you do or don’t want to do. If your partner pressures you to have sex when you’re not ready, or doesn’t respect your decision to wait, it’s definitely time to move on so you can be with someone who really loves you and respects your decisions.

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex – And The Consequences

Sex can bring great pleasure, but if you’re not emotionally ready for sex, it can bring a lot of trouble too. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after losing your virginity to them (especially when you’re very young), it will most likely be more painful for you than if the breakup happened without you and your partner having had sex. You never forget your first time, so before you lose your virginity, make sure you’re having sex for the first time with the person you really want your first time to be with. Sex can also bring other consequences that make the situation more complicated, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Take some time to think it through and consider all the possible outcomes of having sex before you actually do it. You can’t go back after you’ve done it and do it differently or take more time. Once you do it, it can’t be undone, so really think it through first.

Educate Yourself About Sex

You may think you know what you need to know about sex, but you’d really be surprised at what you haven’t learned yet. Take some time to educate yourself about safe sex, condoms, the morning after pill, pregnancy and various types of sexually transmitted diseases and the different ways you can get them or pass them on. Don’t rely on someone else to tell yo what’s up when it comes to sex, and don’t wait until after you’ve had sex for the first time to find these things out. If you do decide to have sex with your partner and have decided you’re emotionally ready for it, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe too.

Low Female Sex Drive In The 20’s

By jessicaperez

If you are in your twenties and you have a low sex drive, you are not alone. So many women are struggling to keep up with their man when it comes to getting intimate. Men are complaining all the time about having to make do with their hands or having to wait until she runs out of alibis to make an aggressive move.

There are so many reasons why women experience this phenomenon in their twenties. They are a few decades away from menopause and they shouldn’t have trouble with hormones yet. However, the reality is that women avoid sex and are quite happy to never have sex during an ordinary work week.

I’m not a psychologist or a doctor, but I have a few ideas on why female sex drive plummets in the 20’s.

Unsatisfactory First Experiences

This applies particularly when the woman experienced sex early in life. Think of how many high school seniors have done it at the back of a pickup truck or under the stars in the park. A woman’s first sexual experience lingers in her head, and could affect the way she views sex.

Oftentimes, you will hear women say “sex is overrated.” You have to wonder when that idea came about. Maybe her first few sexual encounters left her bored or in pain. Maybe she has never experienced this so-called orgasm.

This doesn’t just apply to women who were sexually abused. Even girls who led a perfectly normal sex life often say “no” because they think there’s nothing to really look forward to.

Priorities

A twenty-something woman has many other things to focus on besides sex. First is her career. She wants to go as far as she can at work before she settles down. So what if she has to sacrifice a few nights with her husband or boyfriend to finish work? Some women spend the whole decade of their 20’s to improve their career.

Next is her looks. When she’s not thinking of ways to get a promotion, she is worrying about her looks. If she has to sacrifice sex for a whole night with her bright blue, anti-aging facial mask on, so be it. Some girls also worry that their hair will look limp and lifeless if they don’t sleep with curlers on.

Negative Body Image

In addition to skin care, a woman might be too concerned about her “worsening” figure during her 20’s. Metabolism is slowing down, and she realizes she cannot pig out like she used to do during high school. Even if the weight gain isn’t drastic, a woman’s sexual self-esteem could plummet.

It is no secret that a woman’s sex drive suffers if she thinks her body looks hideous when she is naked. Some men never notice, but women who often want the lights closed during sex have a growing suspicion that their body is a turn-off.

Q&A: Safe Sex – Using The Withdrawal Method

By loveandsex

There are a number of different birth control methods that work well to drastically reduce the risk of pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases, but many guys insist on trying birth control methods that don’t really work at all! A lot of guys want to pull out, simply because it feels better than wearing a condom. Here’s why you shouldn’t pull out and how you can have safe sex that still feels great.

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He wants to use the withdrawal method, but it’s not always effective! How do I tell him?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X9_aAjAZZM[/youtube]

Why Pulling Out Doesn’t Work

Simply put, if a penis touches a vagina without protection, there is a risk of pregnancy involved. Even if there is no penetration, if there is genital to genital touching, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant goes up. This risk, of course, goes up the more contact there is. Consider the penis a loaded gun. There are most likely sperm present before ejaculation, whether it is because ejaculation took place not long before, or because pre-semen or pre-ejaculate can contain sperm as well. It takes only one sperm to get a woman pregnant, although millions are present in very small amounts of semen. Not only are you taking a risk of becoming pregnant or getting an STD simply by allowing a penis to touch your vagina without some sort of protection, you are also taking a greater risk by trusting your partner to pull out at just the right time when he’s on the brink of orgasm. This usually ends in disaster! Statistically speaking, the withdrawal method has a pregnancy rate similar to having completely unprotected sex.

Other Methods Of Birth Control

Condoms, of course, are the number one form of birth control. They are easy to purchase, easy to use and protect against both pregnancy and STD’s. No other form of birth control does all those things. However, if you’d like to forgo using condoms, there are many different kinds of birth control you can use so you can still have great sex safely. First, you and your partner need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Make a committment to each other that you will be monogamous, so once you and your partner are given the green light, you can continue to stay disease free without a condom. Do not have sex without a condom until both of your test results come back! To protect against pregnancy, talk to your doctor about different forms of birth control. Hormonal birth control, such as the pill, the patch or the shot are popular, while barrier methods such as spermicide and diaphragms are also still being used. You can also consider doubling up with a hormonal and barrier birth control method. Talk to your doctor and talk to your partner about which options are right for you.

No Glove, No Love

If you want your partner to wear a condom, he needs to wear a condom. If he doesn’t, simply put your foot down and state that there isn’t going to be any sex without a condom. If you’re not comfortable with the withdrawal method or other forms of birth control, your partner needs to respect that. There are tons of great condom styles out there, including large and small condoms, non-latex condoms for men who are allergic to latex, flavored and scented condoms, colored condoms, glow in the dark condoms and much, much more! There’s no reason that using a condom during sex can’t make it safe and fun!

Q&A: Bad Breath – How To Prevent And Treat It

By loveandsex

A huge turn off for a lot of people is bad breath. There’s nothing that will kill a sexy mood like getting a whiff of your partner’s bad breath when you’re leaning in for a kiss or getting hot and heavy on your way to the bedroom. So how do you tell your partner they have bad breath without offending them, and how can you treat it so it doesn’t happen again?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, sometimes when I am with my boyfriend, he has bad breath. I find it a real turn OFF. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? His oral hygiene is really good, just sometimes he has bad breath … any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zBO45FLUMk[/youtube]

Be Honest

It’s important to be honest with your partner about their bad breath. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if you had bad breath? Of course! Give your guy a heads up about what is going on in a kind and non-critical way. Don’t act like your breath doesn’t ever stink, either because it most certainly does! Everyone has bad breath problems from time to time, whether it’s a medical condition or simply because of something they ate. Have a laugh about it! Your guy isn’t going to get his feelings hurt unless you’re mean about the issue or unless he’s really, really super sensitive. Let him know that it’s not really that big a deal – just that you two need to fix it so you can kiss, make out and have sex whenever without having to worry about bad breath.

What Causes Bad Breath?

There are a lot of contributors to bad breath, and not all of them are just foods. Medical issues that can cause bad breath are cavities, infections in the teeth or gums and gum disease. Often, bad breath caused by these conditions is some of the worse bad breath that is out there! Vitamins, supplements and certain medications can also cause bad breath, as well as doing illegal drugs and smoking. Diseases such as diabetes can also contribute to or cause bad breath. If your partner suspects that his bad breath is a medical problem, have him speak to his doctor about things that can be contributing to his bad breath, such as medications or diseases. Your partner’s doctor can rule out any serious causes for his bad breath and even give him a few pointers on how best to handle it.

How To Handle It

Encourage your partner to have regular cleanings and to have cavities filled if they’re needed. Make sure your partner brushes at least twice daily and flosses once a day. You’ll be surprised at how big a difference these little things can make! Even skipping a six month cleaning with the dentist can contribute greatly to bad breath that can’t be fixed with gum or mouthwash. For things that can be fixed with gum and mouthwash, make sure you stock up on plenty of it! Keep it at home, in the car and in your purse so you always have it around. Lead by example and let your partner see how great your kisses can smell and taste! He’ll want to follow in your footsteps and get a minty fresh mouth of his own.

What Is The Perineum – Ways To Please A Man Sexually

By jessicaperez

The perineum is one of the most sensual sex zones of the human anatomy. It is the bit of skin between the anus and sex organs. It is a hot spot for sexual sensations for both males and females, so you had better learn more about it if you want to learn the best way to please your man.

Slight stroking of the perineum area can stimulate your man even if you have not touched his member yet. This area is so rich in nerve endings that simply stroking it rhythmically to complement a blowjob can make a man climax in minutes.

How To Touch The Male Perineum

The best time to touch the male perineum is when you are going down on your man and you have reached the sensitive area below the balls. You will notice that the skin around this region is thinner than the rest, so even light touching can send electric waves of pleasure through your man. Be careful not to pinch or scratch this area, but you can caress and fondle all you want.

The ABC Technique

When you are going down on your man but you’re squeamish about rimming him (i.e. licking the general area of his anal hole), you can try writing out the alphabet on his perineum with your tongue. This can be done while your hands are moving over his shaft, or while you are giving him a hand job.

Different Sensations

Experiment with tongue movements. Try horizontal lines, vertical lines and parallel lines. You can stiffen your tongue or keep it lax as you lick his sensitive skin. Always remember to keep on going whenever he expresses pleasure at something you tried. The more you lick and kiss him there, the closer you bring him to orgasm.

For best results, bring a cold drink or a hot drink with you in the bedroom. Take a sip of either one before you go down on your man to vary the sensations you create with your tongue. You can alternate between hot and cold sensations, or you can go for “slightly warm.”

Give Him A Perineum Massage

An erotic massage on the perineum can result in the stiffest hard-on ever. Wouldn’t you want to see that happen? Here’s how…

Make sure your hands are well lubricated before you start stroking any part of your man’s gonad area. Wet hands and fingers glide smoothly with minimum friction, and the lack of friction is one of the main things that make a hand job so pleasurable for him.

A water-based lubricant is the best for giving a hand job, particularly if you’re using latex gloves. A water-based lubricant is also the best choice for penetrative action, like when you insert one finger inside his anus.