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Q&A: Wife Wants 9000 Penises

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One of the biggest issues in sexually active relationships are sex drives that don’t match up between two partners. One partner may want sex all the time and the other may have a little bit more of a muted libido. What can you do if your partner wants more sex than you feel like you can physically give?

Question: My wife is a little bit….weird. She always asks for sex all the time and it’s starting to get tiring. It’s like she wants over 9000 penises and for some reason only wants to do it when she is in a closed pool. Am I doing something wrong in my relationship?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuXE5a5jllI[/youtube]

Is She Getting Satisfied During Sex?

One reason a woman may want sex all the time is if she’s just not getting satisfied during sex. She may have the desire to have sex more often to try and acheive orgasm, because she’s hoping the next time will be it. If you feel like your partner’s sex drive is much higher than yours and you’re having problems keeping up, talk to them and ask them what it is they feel like they need. Is she not achieving orgasm at all during sex? Does she want to do something differently or try something new? Ask her for her suggestions on how to improve the quality of each sex session instead of focusing so much on the quantity.

How Often Is Too Often?

How much sex is too much sex for you? Compare your sexual needs to your partner’s. Do you prefer sex only once a day, or once a week? Is your partner more of a three times a day person, or does she just like it three times a week? Her expectations might not actually be unrealistic, but they simply may just be higher than yours. Consider talking to your partner about meeting in the middle. If she wants sex five times a week and you’re fine with two, try for three or four. Talk to your partner about reaching a compromise where sex is concerned so that she can begin to feel satisfied and you’re not completely exhausted.

Is She Using Sex To Fill Other Emotional Needs?

If a woman wants sex all the time, it might not be about the sex at all. Some women use sex to fill emotional needs instead of physical ones. Does your partner need to have sex with you to feel loved, cherished or beautiful? Does she need to have sex with you all the time to get your attention or to spend time with you? Talk to your partner about how she feels about the relationship. Does she feel like it’s lacking something? Does she need more emotional fulfullment in the relationship to be happy? Plan a date night and have her buy a special outfit. Make sure to compliment her. Or take her to the park and have a picnic. Do something with her that doesn’t involve sex and connect with her on an emotional level.  Try meeting her needs emotionally and you’ll be surprised at how well that can help fulfill her sexual needs too.

Q&A: Help! My Penis Is Too Big!

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While many guys may worry that their penis is too small to please their partner, others worry that their penis is too big to fit and if it will hurt their partner. Some women can be intimidated by a very large penis, because they’re not sure it’s actually going to fit in there. It will, but here’s how you can make it easier on her.

Question: My girlfriend isn’t a virgin, but she is scared of having sex with me because my penis is too thick for her, or so she says. I’m 7 inches long and 7.5 inches around. What should I do to convince her and help her to loose her fear? We are both 18.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncG-zm6bPyg[/youtube]

Help Her To Relax First

Getting your partner to relax is the first step to making sure her vaginal muscles are pliable enough to accomodate your big penis. Give your partner a massage, or take a hot bath with her in the candlelight. Let her know that you’re going to go slow and be gentle and that if it hurts her, you’ll stop. The less anxious she is about the whole process, the easier she’ll be able to accomodate your penis length and thickness.

Get Her Warmed Up

Use your fingers with lots of lube to help get her warmed up. First, insert one finger only. Massage slowly and try going down on her at the same time to get her turned on. The more turned on she is, the more her vaginal muscles will relax and loosen up to get ready for insertion. Slowly insert another finger at a time until you’re up to three. Once you’re up to three fingers, ask her how it feels. Is it too tight? Does it hurt? If it feels too tight to you, it probably feels to tight or painful to her. If so, don’t try to use your penis just yet. Wait until she’s relaxed and turned on enough to feel comfortable inserting your penis. You can also use different sized toys to help introduce your partner to your large penis.

Use Lots Of Lube, Go Slow And Stop If It Hurts

Whether you’re using a large dildo or you have a large penis, using lots and lots of lube is the most important thing you can do to make taking extra length and girth easier for her. Use a good, water based lube and don’t be shy about using it. You never can have enough lube! When you begin inserting your penis into her vagina after you’ve warmed her up and gotten her relaxed, make sure you are gentle and go slow. Don’t push it in there too fast (although you might be pretty anxious to get started by now) or she could tear. Remember, women are built to give birth to babies – which are a lot larger than your penis – so don’t worry about not being able to fit it in there. You just have to make sure your partner is comfortable and enjoying it! If it starts to hurt your partner, stop immediately. It may take a few tries before your partner can really accomodate your penis size comfortably.

Q&A: Is It Good To Have Big ‘Lips’ or Labia?

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Everyone’s bodies are different, whether we’re skinny, fat, short, tall, black, white or anything in between. But society supposedly shows us what is “beautiful” and what isn’t, leaving us wondering if we’re normal and beautiful. We’re constantly comparing our bodies to those of celebrities and good looking people, and it’s no different when it comes to our sexual body parts too. You may wonder if your unique genitalia are considered “normal” or pretty, and if they look like everyone else’s. What’s normal when it comes to a woman’s genitalia?

Question: Is it good to have big ‘lips’? (And she means labia)

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjZENzYZh9Y[/youtube]

All Shapes And Sizes

Labia come in all shapes, sizes, colors, textures and thicknesses. The wonderful thing about a woman’s genitalia is that each one is unique and no labia or clitoris looks exactly the same. A woman’s vulva is as unique as she is, and her labia might be smaller than her best friend’s but much bigger than her co-worker’s. Some women have very, very small labia or “lips” and other women might have very large labia. Regardless of what size, shape or color your labia are, they are unique to you and beautiful in their own way.

Learn To Love Yourself

Part of growing up is learning to love yourself for who you are and what you look like. Each person is beautiful and unique, and no one looks exactly like someone else. Even identical twins have something different and unique about themselves, even if it’s something small. While society will continue to bombard us with images of what they think we should look like and act like to be considered beautiful or popular, it’s time we stop looking to celebrities, movie stars and television stars to tell us what is beautiful and what isn’t. You are beautiful in your own way and it’s time we learn to love ourselves from the inside out.

Labiaplasty

Some people just aren’t happy with the way the look, or have some body parts that cause them pain or discomfort. Very large labia may make a woman feel unattractive, or it may be uncomfortable in very tight jeans or underwear. If you truly dislike the shape and size of your labia, a plastic surgery option would be labiaplasty. This procedure is usually performed with an IV sedative and is quick with moderate healing time. During a labiaplasty a qualified surgeon will remove the excess labia tissue to give you more even, smaller labia that are proportionate to the rest of your genitalia. If you are considering labiaplasty as an option, think about why you’re getting the surgery. Don’t get cosmetic or plastic surgery because you’re trying to please someone else or look like someone else. Make sure you’re choosing surgery for the right reasons. Ask yourself some questions. Are you wanting to have surgery because your long labia make sex or wearing some clothes uncomfortable? Does the current appearance of your genitalia make you unhappy and keep you from leading a happy, satisfied lifestyle? Make sure this is something you truly want to do for yourself and that it’s worth the money you’ll be spending.

Q&A: What Are Some Ways To Increase Sperm Count?

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If you and your partner are having sex and trying to get pregnant, you might be worried about your sperm count. Do you have enough sperm? Should you try to increase the quantity of your sperm? There are things you can do to help increase your sperm count with very little effort on your part. Here’s what you can do if you want the maxiumum amound of little swimmers.

Question: I heard that by eating certain foods you can increase your sperm count. What are those foods, and what other ways can I increase my sperm count?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zrHm7_UxtE[/youtube]

Eliminate Toxins

While there’s no “magic food” you can eat to increase your sperm count, there are several lifestyle changes you can make that will help keep your sperm count at maximum levels. Start by eliminating any recreational or illegal drugs from your life, and try to cut back or quit smoking cigarettes if you smoke. Don’t drink alcohol often if at all, and talk to your doctor about which perscription drugs may be effecting your sperm count levels. There may be some medicines that you’re taking that will decrease your sperm count and eliminating these medicines (if possible) can help raise your sperm count. Remember to never discontinue taking a medicine your doctor has prescribed without discussing it with them first. Also, try to eliminate other toxins from your diet by eating fresh, whole foods and avoiding processed foods.

Let The Boys Breathe

Sperm don’t like extreme heat, so very hot baths, showers and hot tubs can easily decrease your sperm count. Take cooler showers and avoid taking baths or getting in the hot tub while you’re trying to get your partner pregnant. Also, tight underwear such as briefs and boxer briefs can lower your sperm levels because they hold your scrotum closer to your body and keeping sperm at a higher temperature. Try switching to loose, freeflowing boxers to allow your scrotum to stay at a temperature that maximizes sperm production.

Have Less Sex And Masturbate Less

To make sure each ejaculation is loaded with as much sperm as possible, try having sex and masturbating less often than you currently do. Frequent masturbation and frequent sex can lower sperm count because your body doesn’t have time to produce enough sperm in between ejaculations. Another way to increase your sperm count is to try to reduce your stress levels. Relax, get a massage or listen to music when you’re stressed. Try to eliminate stressful situations from your life as much as possible. If you have any questions about your sperm levels, your current medications or other ways you can increase your sperm count, visit your doctor. Your doctor is the best person to give you medical advice, based on your current health condition. If you continue to have trouble getting your partner pregnant, you can also make an appointment to visit a fertility clinic and have an analysis done on your sperm. Try making some lifestyle changes first – it’s free and may solve your problem without the time and expense spent going to a fertility clinic.

Q&A: What’s Your Most Humorous Sexual Experience?

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One of the great things about sex is that not only can it be amazing and rock your world, but it can also put you in some of the most awkward and humourous situations you’ve ever been in. Popular magazines like Cosmopolitan and Redbook often publish funny sex stories sent in by readers because almost everyone has had a hilarious sexcapade. What’s yours?

Question: Dan and Jenn, I have a personal question for you. What’s your most humorous sexual experience?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahiIu6mQekM[/youtube]

Getting Caught

For many people, getting caught in the act is probably one of the most embarrassing – and funniest – things that can happen when having sex. Whether you’ve decided to camp out in the back seat of your car in a remote location under the stars and get busted by the cops or get caught while stealing a quickie at your parents’ house while staying over for the holidays, getting caught having sex by someone else just might end up being your best funny sex story ever.

Awkward Moments

As fun and delicious as sex can be, sometimes our bodies don’t realize we’re trying to be passionate and there can definitely be some awkward moments during sex. They might be mortifying at the time, but you’ll almost always end up laughing at it later. Have you ever been masturbating or having sex and semen didn’t exactly go where you meant for it to go? Or have you tried to have sex with your partner when you made the mistake of eating bean burritos at your favorite mexican restaurant for lunch? Some of the most embarrassing sex stories are also the most hilarious!

Animal Love

Sometimes, it’s not just other people who catch us in the act, it’s our beloved pets too. Whether you’ve forgotton to put your dog outside while doing the deed and he starts getting friendly with your partner’s leg that is hanging off the bed or your cat keeps jumping up on the bed and insists on getting petted while you’re trying to get busy, or pets can make for some funny sex stories too. Just make sure any pet tarantulas, snakes and lizards don’t get out or you might end up with more than you bargained for.

A Visit To The ER

Some people’s sex snafus have actually landed them in the ER, making for even more embarrassing yet hilarious sex stories. You know it’s funny when the entire emergency room department is laughing with you! Ever heard of vaginal muscles gripping so hard that he couldn’t get it out and the two had to be separated by medical staff? How about a couple having sex at grandma’s and mistaking nitroglycerin cream for lube and having to be hauled to the ER unconscious – and frozen in the act – after passing out?

While most sex stories begin with feelings of embarassment, most of the time they get laughed at later. If you have a funny sex story to share, visit our YouTube page and leave a comment! We want to hear about it!