Sex Tips & Advice

What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student.

Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress. It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine.

What Tantra Is and Isn’t

However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogmas. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness.

There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include “all that is.” It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

Engaging in the Tantric Journey

There are many wonderful book on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide?

Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

Connect With and Clear Emotional Issues

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.”

But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Making Love Tantrically

Over time, most of us fall into a sex routine that becomes boring and depleting instead of nurturing, and does not deserve the name of love making. Making love tantrically allows you to achieve high pleasure for the body, and great satisfaction for your emotions and spirit. It is deeply nourishing and bonding and always new, because it is taking place in each moment, as you respond to each other with honesty and support.

Making love this way becomes a priority in a relationship. Great lovemaking restores and/or adds harmony, peace and joy to everyone else you interact with too.

It is worth the time and the investment you make in learning how to achieve this hot and relaxing Tantric space, a door through which you can enter into a new, higher, more expanded you on your way to Enlightenment.

eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex!

By loveandsex

If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get “into” your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really “into” it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLfJe1NKw-0[/youtube]

Finding Out What You Want

For you to get “into” sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

Talk With Your Partner

While you want to be careful about how you approach this subject, it’s important to talk with your partner and be open and honest with them about what you like and don’t like.

Don’t criticize your partner for moves that you don’t like, instead suggest new ones that you’d like to try.

If you close the lines of communication and never let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t, you’ll never be “into” your partner or even “into” sex with them.

Use Trial and Error

Similarly, your partner can share with you what they like so together you can experiment with what works and forget about what doesn’t.

With a little trial and error, you and your partner will learn what you like and what you don’t like, making it easier for you to have successful intimate encounters. Take it slow if you need to and stay open and honest with your partner. Don’t get discouraged and keep trying. You’ll never find out what turns you on and gets you into it if you don’t try!

For Women Only! How to Make Sex More Pleasurable for YOU…

By leejenkins

Many women find it hard to convey to men what they really want in bed. This is due to many reasons from lack of self-confidence to lack of self-awareness.

Another reason is what makes many relationships, sexual and otherwise, fail: the expectation that men can read a woman’s mind and automatically know what she wants in bed!

It is possible for men to discover what works best for you. But this takes a special kind of man who have dedicated himself to becoming a fantastic lover.

However, not all women have the luxury of being with a man who is skilled in bed.

To experience better sex, you should know what turns you on and love yourself enough to take compliments as they are provided. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Clear Your Mind

If you’re self-conscious about something, your mind will be consumed by this and so you can’t focus on sexual pleasure. So better get rid of what’s bothering you even before you engage in sex.

For example, if you’re always insecure of how you smell ‘down there’ then make sure you always shower before engaging in sex. If you’re afraid you might accidentally pee while your G-spot is being stimulated, then go have a bathroom break before making love.

Know What Turns You ON

How can you guide him into what brings you pleasure if you yourself don’t know what does?

Some women have a hard time figuring out what turns them on. Compare this to men; for the most part, it’s very easy to figure what what turns a man on.

This can actually be a fun time for you. To know what turns you on, try renting some porn videos and see how you react to what you see. Buy some dirty magazines, romance novels and maybe even some sex toys.

You’ll have to do a bit of self exploration on this one because unlike men, what turns women on is a bit less ‘clear cut’. Once you know what turns you on, experiment with him in bed!

Understand That Men Are Not Mind Readers

Get this straight: Men are NOT mind readers. They cannot instinctively know what brings you the most pleasure. Communicating what is working for you (and making sure that he keeps on doing it) can speed things up towards your female orgasm.

So if you already know what turns you on, don’t be afraid to tell him how best to pleasure you.

Be Specific

For example, if he’s eating you out, tell him exactly how you like to be licked and where.

Communication is key to maximizing your pleasure in bed. The more you know about yourself, and the more you communicate with him, the more pleasure you’ll have. The best part is, you’ll enhance the bond you already have with him by making intimate communication a regular activity in bed.

If You Can Orgasm By Yourself, You Can Orgasm During Sex

Take control of your own orgasm and don’t be so dependant on him to “give” it to you. You can guide him to help you climax during sex, but the quickest way to reach an orgasm (if he’s not sexually skilled) is to help yourself. There’s nothing wrong with it, and trust me, both parties will be happier in the end.

You can apply clitoral stimulation during intercourse, however, not all sex positions are great for self-stimulation. There are a few good positions, like the woman-on-top position that lends itself well to clitoral stimulation.

Spiritual Sex: Reuniting Body And Soul For A Whole Body Orgasm

By mayasilverman

In today’s stressful modern age, it seems as though the practice of sensuality has slowly become a lost art.

Just think about it: with our fast-paced culture and hectic schedules, it’s no wonder that we have very little time for things that require us to slow down and take our time especially when it comes to our sex lives!

Everyday Life Gets in the Way

After all, each one of us is guilty of this behavior. Perhaps you had a long day at the office, or you’ve got a big meeting to prepare for in the early morning. Either way, when you engage in lovemaking with your partner, your mind is somewhere else completely.

You’re focusing on that big report or review at the office, or maybe you’re forming a mental to-do list. Since you’re mind is entirely occupied by distracting thoughts, you can’t focus on lovemaking, and you deny yourself the pleasure that you need.

It’s not that difficult to see why we let the stress of our daily lives negatively affect our sexual energy.

Stress Affects Our Sex Lives

While the act of sex may not require that much thought, achieving an orgasm takes focus which can be hard to do if our minds are focused on our day at the office! Yet if you’re looking to reclaim your sexual pleasure from the stresses of modern life, and to achieve that elusive whole body orgasm that you’ve longed for, follow these rules to max out your soulful sack sessions!

When you want to get your partner revved up for a bedroom romp, chances are you probably focus less on touching and caressing and more on the actual act of sex. Yet if you’re looking to reunite your body and soul for a whole body orgasm that will have you seeing stars, you need to take a step back and focus more on the pleasure that comes with erotic touching.

Max Out Your Partner’s Bliss

Not only can you max out your partner’s bliss by taking the time to caress him or her, but you’ll be heightening the anticipation for lovemaking – a key ingredient for that whole body orgasm!

Erotic touching is an intense and soulful experience, so be sure to engage in intimate behavior: stare into your partner’s eyes while gently stroking him or her along the length of the body. Use erotic touching as a means to explore your partner like never before.

Sure, you may know every nook and cranny of your partner’s body, but how well do you really know it? By using erotic touching, you’ll experience your lover’s body in a new and more spiritual way that will intensify your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.

Erotic Touching Melts the Tension

An additional bonus: erotic touching can melt the tension that builds up in our bodies from experiencing the daily stress of our modern lives. After all, touch plays an important role in melting away stress and tension.

Just think of all the times that a friendly hug or gentle kiss instantly made you feel more relaxed. Well, this especially applies to your sex life as well, as intimate touching can make you feel relaxed and stress-free. Once that tension is sapped, your mind will be free to focus on your lovemaking which eliminates those pesky roadblocks towards achieving orgasm!

Ideally, erotic touching will build up that first layer of sensation in your quest for the whole body orgasm. Spiritual sex is a multi-layered experience, where sensations are built upon one another until finally culminating in a powerful and soulful orgasm.

Treat Foreplay as the Main Act

So don’t just rush through erotic touching and jump straight into intercourse; instead, treat foreplay as the main act in which you build up a strong foundation towards reaching the brink of sexual nirvana. This is a focal point of tantric sex, in which lovemaking has no final destination, but instead is a spiritual journey which must be enjoyed.

If you approach your sack sessions with this view point, you’ll not only free up your mind from tension and stress; you’ll be more likely to achieve a powerful orgasm because you’re taking the pressure off of it. Sounds a bit backwards, but the less you focus on orgasming, the more likely you will!

The layering of sensations is critical towards intensifying relaxation, arousal and eventually orgasm.

Think of each sensation as a pleasurable journey with no destination in sight; therefore, when you finally are at the brink of pleasure, you’ll easily achieve that elusive whole body orgasm, and what greater stress relief is there than an intense orgasm with your lover that has you seeing stars?

How To Make Love Making a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

By carlatara

People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.