Dating tips will often prepare you for what to do, but what about things you want to avoid? Here’s how to keep from coming across as a jerk with girls.
1. Asking A Girl Out
What The Idiot Would Say
“You are really beautiful – I’ve love to take you out sometime.”
What The Champ Would Say
“You seem like you might be a lot of fun. We should grab a drink sometime.”
See the difference??
The idiot is letting her know that he is SOLD on her. He already thinks she’s beautiful, and then, by asking her out, it makes it look like she would be doing him a favor if she said yes!
Not good.
But the champ, well he hasn’t quite made up his mind yet. He says she seems like she MIGHT be fun and wants to grab a drink with her to find out.
This laid back, low pressure approach is one of the best dating tips out there. It not only lets a woman know that it’s gonna take more than her looks to impress you, but also that you’re not quite sold on her. Which in turn will make her much more likely to want to hang out with you so she can CONVINCE you that she is fun!
Get it?
2. Talking On The Phone
In these days where everyone is text messaging, I’ve found it very effective to call a girl on the phone and have a great conversation with her.
There are plenty of tricks for making phone convos great, but for now, let’s just talk about a little thing champs do at the end of a call that idiots don’t.
They hang up!
I don’t mean literally hanging up a girl. But a lot of stupid guys will keep on talking to a girl until SHE has to go.
But a champ will always end the call first, showing that he has a life and is a busy guy with things to do.
Most importantly, it leaves her wanting MORE.
What An Idiot Would Say
“Well, it was good talking to you. I’ll give you a call this weekend and we’ll see what’s going on.”
What A Champ Would Say
“Well it was good talking to you. I’ll talk to you later.”
See the difference?
These are one of the more subtle dating tips, but it’s really HUGE.
You in the first example, when you end a phone call with, “I’ll call you this weekend” you are saying two things:
- That you are interested in her, and want to talk to her again to make plans
- That YOU are going to be the one to call to initiate these plans
But by saying these two things, you are creating two problems:
You are showing too much interest! What kind of challenge does it create if she KNOWS you are going to call her that weekend to make plans? The answer: None!
By telling her you are going to call her, you are essentially rendering her UNABLE to call YOU!
You see, since you said YOU’D be calling, now if she calls you she’ll feel like she looks desperate.
On the other hand, if you end the conversation with a simple, “talk to you later,” then she is free to call you as she wishes, and you are also free to call her as you wish.
Perhaps best of all, this removes the PREDICTABILITY from the situation – as if you tell her you’re going to call that weekend, then she knows you’re going to and it’s not a fun surprise.
3. At The End Of A Date
Here’s another similar example, this time at the end of a first date.
What The Idiot Would Say
“We should do this again some time. How about this weekend?”
What A Champ Would Say
Nothing!
He’d wish her a good night, but make no mention of hanging out again, leaving her wondering if he was interested.
Now, let’s talk about the psychology of this one for a second. You see, a girl is so used a guy going for Date #2 at the end of Date #1 that when a guy leaves it open, she doesn’t know what to think!
Her first instinct is to worry that he didn’t have a good time, and isn’t interested in a second date! She’ll often worry about it for DAYS afterwards.
Then, when you DO call to ask her out again, she is so RELIEVED that she automatically says “YES!” and is super excited to see you again!
4. During A Date
Now let’s talk about DURING a date.
What An Idiot Would Say
Well, a dumb guy might say a bunch of things. A bunch of things about himself, maybe that aren’t true, in an attempt to impress the girl.
He might talk about his car, his job, or his exotic vacations. Or he might “name drop” or make things up in order to sound cooler than he really is. And let me tell you – NOTHING turns a girl off faster than a guy who is trying too hard to impress her.
Remember, attractive women have seen IT ALL. And when a guy brags and boasts, even if he does it in a subtle way, a woman sees this an INSECURITY. Worst of all, this lets her know that SHE is in control.
Think about it – if you’re trying to impress her, that tells her that you are already sold on her! Challenge over!
What A Champ Would Say
“So tell me about you. What’s your story?”
Then, he will ask questions to size HER up.
He might ask her what she wants to do with her life, the coolest place she’s ever been to in the world, where her dream vacation would be, and what she wants to do before she dies.
Not “job interview” style, but definitely a PERSONALITY INTERVIEW. A champ sets it up so HE is the “selector,” not her. And he needs to know that a woman has a good personality if he’s going to date her – her looks aren’t enough.
So he’s not afraid to ask questions that help him find out more about what’s going on with a woman below the surface. Women RESPECT that. A lot.
There is nothing a woman loves to talk about more than her dreams, hopes and desires, so not only does this set you up as the “selector” and as a challenge, it also makes for a really fun date!