Dirty talk can be intimidating if you’ve never done it before. But if you do it over and over, you’ll get better at it – and you can make your sex life HOT! If you are new to dirty talk, you will most likely need some practice so that you are comfortable with the act when it’s time to begin.
How To Get Used To It
You can practice just like you would for a speech and even do it in front of the mirror. Try doing it out loud while you masturbate. You can practice with sexting, writing short notes or via email (but be very careful when sending to a work email address!)
Allow yourself some fantasy time and as your mind wanders as to what it is you’d like to be doing, jot it down. Once you give yourself room for self expression and the permission to write down these sexual thoughts that are floating around inside your head, you will find out just what kind of phrases turn you on. Choose a few at a time to spring on your spouse the next time you’re in bed together. Some people find it much easier to put the words down and use letters as a way of beginning their exploration into dirty talk. The more you use stimulating conversation the easier it gets and it will become like second nature.
It Takes Two To Tango
Dirty talk works best when it is used as a dialogue. No one wants to be doing all of the talking in any conversation. Encourage your partner after they’ve joined in by telling them the next day how hot you thought it was when they said something that sticks out in your mind. If you do this, they won’t be left wondering if anything they uttered was embarrassing or whether you found any of it odd or inappropriate. A little encouragement can go a long, long way.
If your partner is a novice or not very vocal, here are some ways to help get them in the game:
- Watch an adult movie together that has dirty talk in it – either in the bedroom or out. This can help set the pace.
- Read a book passage that has some very erotic text – these are very easy to find in most bookstores and are chocked full of plenty of sex scenes. Take turns reading them to each other or hi-lite passages that turn you on when you’re alone so that you can read them during playtime in bed.
- Pick up a book on erotic poetry. Read portions to each other while rubbing on your partner. Ask them which ones they found the most stimulating while you were reading to them.
- Write sexy emails back and forth and try to get the dialogue going. (Again, you probably do not need to use work email addresses for this).
Questions To Ask In The Bedroom
- Do you want me to do it fast or slow tonight?
- Do you like the feel of my wet ___?
- Are you ready to shoot your load in me?
- Where do you want me to ejaculate?
Let your partner start out with “yes” or “no” responses back to these open ended questions. Then encourage them by saying, “please, tell me more,” as they get more comfortable about talking back to you.