For a very long time, female orgasm was considered to be a myth. With nothing but personal accounts to go by, it was hard for male scientists to accept that there was a function and reason behind the elusive experience. Now scientists of both genders think they understand some of the purpose and evolutionary benefit of female orgasm.
We now know that the muscular “flutter” that occurs during female orgasm helps to encourage fertility. The strong muscle contractions in the pelvis, vagina and uterus occur rapidly at less than one second apart, allowing the cervix to open up for incoming sperm. The consequence of this is biologically significant and a verifiable physiological phenomena; couples who are able to have orgasms during penetrative sex are more likely to conceive.
A recent study found that when a woman reaches climax anytime from one minute before and 45 minutes after her partner’s ejaculation, her vagina takes up significantly more sperm than during sex when she does not orgasm. Even more surprising, a woman who orgasms before her lover by any more than one minute retains as little sperm as those who don’t have a female orgasm at all, making it necessary for her to either orgasm during PIV sex, or find a partner who will continue to stimulate her (with his dexterous hands!) after he has reached his own orgasm.
The Steps Of Female Orgasm
Orgasm is a three-step process, the culmination of a lengthy build up beginning with psychological desire, climbing through the various plateaus physiological arousal and peaking in the spasmodic release of orgasm. There are some times in a woman’s monthly cycle when she may be naturally aroused both psychologically and physiologically, depending on her libido type, but these days are few and far between. The rest of the time, you’re going to need to know how to really touch her, inside and out, to get things moving in the right direction.
1. Building Arousal
The signs of physiological arousal are obvious, if you know what you are looking for and are paying attention. Increased blood flow to the genitals caused by hot thoughts or stimulation results in swelling of the labia, clitoris and vagina. Increased lubrication helps make the peak experience of orgasm possible, opening a woman up for more intense activity.
This is prime time for using your ten best assets – your fingers! With such an incredible range of movement, those miraculous movers are exactly what you need to keep her going even when you can’t. And hey, your grandkids will secretly thank you for your Don Juan progeny.
2. Increasing Arousal
Sex educator and author Lou Paget points out in a Men’s Health article that too much repetitive sensation, especially in the early stages of arousal, can actually make the vagina numb. If you go ahead and plunge into intercourse before she is fully aroused and open, you aren’t just depriving her of the pleasure of your hands, but actually decreasing her chances of being able to have a female orgasm with you inside her! By “saving your energy” for the act of coitus itself, you are in fact ensuring that it doesn’t function properly.
3. Orgasmic Release
Female orgasm is an extreme sensual experience. The heart races, breath quickens, pupils dilate, skin flushes, lips and breasts swell with anticipation of the pelvic floor muscles contracting and sending out a ripple-effect that emanates through the rest of the body.
Each woman experiences this process differently, and for most women, every female orgasm is unique. Some may be the powerful, earth-shattering things we see in pornography or on television, but others are simpler, quieter and cascade like gentle waves along the body instead of a raging tsunami thrashing with ecstatic energy. They can be silent or deafening, or even both at the same time.
In her own medical practice, author Rachel Carleton Abrams M.D. explains that many women who come to her for help to reach female orgasm are in fact already experiencing them regularly during sex, albeit mildly. They just didn’t realize it, after the false expectations set by pornography and Hollywood’s over-the-top acting led them to believe that what they were feeling somehow wasn’t orgasmic enough.
Learning to experience several different kinds of orgasms by experimenting with stimulation involving a variety of techniques aimed at eliciting different but complimentary reactions is the best way to help a woman discover her orgasmic range, her preferences and desires, her favorite moves and, most importantly, the best combinations to ensure that sex satisfies both of your needs and desires every single time!