An orgasm is something many women fake, but you definitely have to come clean if you want to actually have a decent sex life. Here’s how to tell him.
No guy wants to know that you’ve been faking your orgasm, but you have been and you’ve decided you want to tell him the truth: he’s not doing it for you. This is a delicate conversation to say the least. How do you do it? How can you tell him you’ve been faking your orgasm?
What She Said About Your Fake Orgasm:
Why have you been faking? I don’t understand women that think its ok to pretend that something is working for them so in turn, their guy will continue to do it thinking that is what works! It would be so much easier to just let him know you didn’t come but he could do so-and-so and that might help! If you have been with a guy for a while and you have been faking it you are kinda screwed.
If you tell him now you are going to shatter his little perfect sex world and take away all his glory! It’s like giving him the Olympic gold and then taking it back because you lied about the scoring. Or giving him a puppy then running it over. OK, that was extreme but guys really take pride in getting their women off which is why it is never good to fake it. When you fake it you are just denying yourself pleasure and setting your guy up to continue to fail you.
Let’s say you are not in the mood for sex or too tired etc, there is nothing wrong with telling your man that you didn’t come but had a great time getting him off. Or telling him that you really loved all the foreplay but for one reason or another, tonight was not your night. If you honestly do not resent the fact that he didn’t get you off then reassure him that he can get you next time. If you are left with”Pink Balls” (female blue balls) then you might need to take matters into your own hands, or take his head into your lap. But, what ever you do, don’t fake it.
Alas, if you have been faking it and you feel you must tell him, do not do it when you two are having sex or right after you had sex. So how do you bring it up? Well, a great trick is to use media! So, wait until something like a TV show or magazine article mentions it and then you can casually say “Sometimes (not all the time, even if it is all the time never say all the time!!!) when we are having sex i don’t come and in order to help you finish i fake my orgasm”. There, honest and quick. But be prepared for him to care and even be a bit bothered that you have been faking. You need to reassure that he is still the man, so let him know the reasons why you have been faking.
Some of these reasons could be:
- You love what he does to you, it makes you feel so good but sometimes it gets so intense you fake it.
- You could say that you like how he feels inside you and don’t always need to come.
- You were so tired but love all the foreplay and all you really needed was a little bit of loving. Anything around those lines should be helpful as he tries to pick his deflated ego.
Also, please know you do deserve to come every single time you have sex, so don’t think that it’s all about him! Do not play the “I didn’t need to come” card all the time. So now that you have confessed you two need to get on figuring out what he can do, or what you can do or what a battery operated friend can do to get you there. If you are ballsy enough to admit that you have been faking then you are ballsy enough to bring a vibrator to bed.
What He Said About Your Fake Orgasm:
This conversation isn’t going to be easy, and it’s probably going to hurt him. Men are all about the idea of doing the job well, and they take pride in it. If you’ve been faking it, you’ve been telling him that he has been doing it right and that’s not true. Now you’re going to pull the rug out from under him and he’s going to land on his ass.
In addition to the pain in his ass, will be the pain in his chest. You’ll break his heart. I don’t know if you should come out and say it, but if you have to, say “I always enjoy sex with you, but I don’t always achieve orgasm. Let’s work on that together. Here are the following things I’d like to try.” Telling him straight up that your faking your orgasm isn’t pleasant, so be sure to have other options ready and let him know you enjoy having sex with him and want to continue to do so.
Also, if you do have orgasm with him from say oral sex or anal sex or by hand and not intercourse, let him know and maybe suggest toy use, but that’s another column left for another time.