Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student. Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress.
It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine. To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body.
One of the techniques it teaches allows men to have an orgasm without ejaculating, which makes it possible for him to come again and again.
How is This Possible?
Well, by using tantric principles, such as breathing, visualizing, and squeezing the love muscles to draw sexual energy from the sex organs up the spine to the back of the brain, a man can learn to ride the waves of orgasm and start coasting along the crest of those waves like a skilled surfer.
He can go down in the valley of the wave and enjoy playing more safely in a sweet and intensive romantic/spiritual space, absorbing the benefits resulting from the heightened pleasure he just achieved. He feels as if he’s buzzing with energy, more open and tender toward his partner and himself.
They can look into each other’s eyes, exchange gentle caresses, or simply breathe together to expand the state of bliss. All this can be done without the man losing the precious life-force contained in his semen.
Then the couple can proceed to make love actively, and reach several peaks in one love session. After having reached several peaks and experienced several body orgasms, the man can choose to have an ejaculatory orgasm if desired.
Controlling Ejaculation
How quickly a man can learn to control his ejaculation response depends on how much he practices, and the attitude he practices with. It’s almost a paradox: The more patient and loving you are with yourself, the less in a hurry to achieve quick results, the faster you’ll learn.
That’s because relaxation is the key, and you can’t be relaxed if you’re very goal-oriented. When you’re goal-oriented, you’re tense and usually judgmental. Ideas like, “I don’t know if I’ll ever learn this stuff…..Perhaps it’s not for me….I’m wasting my time….” or similar discouraging thoughts will retard the process of learning.
Be Positive and Loving
Start with self-pleasuring sessions as though you would pleasure the body of a god, or a person you love and admire. In such a case you wouldn’t care how long it takes that person to learn ejaculation control, or anything else. It helps if you set the mood by lighting a candle, burning your favorite incense, and perhaps having some of your favorite flowers or inspiring pictures in view.
The right kind of music can help set the right atmosphere for relaxation as well. Each time you pleasure yourself and feel an ejaculation approaching, try to become more consciously aware of all the signals your body is sending you. With practice, you’ll be better able to anticipate, and then regulate, your reaction.
Regulate Your Reaction
By the way, the more I work with clients concerned about ejaculation control, the more I realize that the word “control” is not really appropriate. It’s rather a redistribution of energy throughout the body. With breathing techniques and the use of your PC (pubo-coccyceal) muscles, you engage your imagination.
Visualize that you’re bringing the very hot energy that has collected around your genitals to the rest of your body, especially to your heart, mixed with a feeling of love for yourself. It’s almost as if you’re opening up a dam and letting the flow of water run along the river. Imagine that it’s a river of warm energy, love and light, spreading throughout your body.
Most men need to try more than one session before they can actually own the techniques that will extend their pleasure by postponing their ejaculation.
While reading about these techniques can point you in the right direction, it really helps when someone knowledgeable can guide you through the experience, and this is one of the areas where an experienced Tantric practitioner can aid you immensely in your practice.