A threesome can be fun for everyone involved, but how do you get your man interested in swinging with another guy? Many men are down with swinging, but only if it’s a FFM threesome – not a MMF. However, if he gets to indulge in his fantasy of two women, shouldn’t you be able to indulge in your own fantasy with two men? How do you get your lover to be open minded about a MMF threesome?
Question: My husband and I are toying with the idea of having a FFM threesome, however I am more interested in meeting with another couple than with just another woman. But my husband can’t stand the idea of another man with me. I feel as though it isn’t a fair trade! How do I open my husband up to the idea of a foursome over a threesome? Or should we call the whole thing off?
–YouTube Viewer
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS0_UWS1uVs[/youtube]
Communicate With Your Partner About Where The Boundaries Are
If you and your lover have some differing opinions about what is okay and what isn’t okay during a threesome, it’s essential that you talk to them about it before you actually engage in any type of play. You want to hash out where the boundaries are beforehand, so neither of you are left uncomfortable or hurt by anything that goes on. So where do you draw those boundaries?
Start with flirting and work your way up. It may seem awkward to try to imagine and talk about all the possible scenarios that you could end up in during a swinging situation, but it’s important to talk about each one of them separately. For example, you may be comfortable with kissing, but your partner may not be because it’s too intimate. They may want to reserve kissing just for the two of you. Talk about flirting, kissing, touching, oral sex and anything else that crosses your mind. You want to know going in what is okay and what isn’t. Draw the line at what you’re both okay with – if one of you isn’t comfortable with something, don’t push the issue.
Talk To Your Partner About The Way You Feel
Most people wouldn’t see it as fair for your lover to get to indulge in his fantasies but for you to be unable to indulge in yours. However, just because it’s obviously not fair doesn’t mean that you should discredit your partner’s feelings about the situation. Talk to your lover about how they feel and why they are uncomfortable with a MMF threesome. Ask them why and listen to their questions and concerns openly. Don’t be critical of your lover and remember that it doesn’t need to turn into a fight.
On the same token, your partner needs to listen to your concerns as well. Explain to them why you feel it’s unfair and suggest some possible solutions to the issue. Once you understand his point of view and he understands yours, you can start to find a compromise that works well for both of you. Is there another fantasy of yours that you’re dying to try that could be substituted for the MMF threesome? Or does he have another fantasy that he wants to act out that doesn’t involve being hypocritical?
If They’re Not Into It, Let It Go
Remember that your partner’s concerns are just as valid as your own, even if they seem unfair. If the thought of you with another man really makes him uncomfortable, even if he’s in the room and it’s consensual, then it’s not something you want to continue to harp on. If you try to talk him into it, he may do it – but begrudgingly and you’re in for more than you bargained for there.
If you and your lover have trouble finding a common ground, think about the possibility that swinging just isn’t right for your relationship. And that doesn’t mean that it’s not right for your relationship ever, but simply that it’s not right for your relationship right now. If you can’t come to a consensus where both you and your partner are happy with the results, put the issue to bed and come back to it at a later time.
There are tons of different things you can do besides a threesome to add spice and variety to your sex life. Try experimenting with a little bondage or roleplay, or read about new ways to give your partner an orgasm. Don’t get stuck thinking a threesome is the only thing that is going to make your sex life as hot as it used to be!