Making a move on someone you’ve known awhile can be frustrating. Where do you start? How do you know when the right time is? What do you say?
The question of whether to ask them out is a huge one. Should you or shouldn’t you?
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
Hi, I have liked this girl for about a year. Last Friday I told her how I felt and she didn’t say ‘no’; Here’s what she said “David I think of you as a brother, but I don’t see why we can’t get to know each other better, and I’m not trying to raise your hopes and I can’t promise you anything”, and then she gave me her phone number. Should I leave it as it is for a while, or should I make a move?
–David, CA
Is the Door Open or Closed?
Take a look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Look at your crush’s body language and their mannerisms toward you. Are they flirty? Do they seem to show interest in you? Have they given you their number? If you’re noticing these types of behaviors, your door is most likely open to make a move.
If their body language or mannerisms towards you are cold, or unresponsive to you, you’re probably facing a closed door. Before you ask your crush out, take some time to really feel out the situation and use your intuition and perception to judge as best you can how receptive your crush is to you. If the door seems open, go for it!
Getting The Date
If you’re lucky enough to snag a date with your crush, congratulations! Now it’s time to show your crush how much you’re into them. Don’t try to be buddies with them, because they might end up thinking of you as just a “buddy.” Don’t be standoff-ish either, because you might get the cold shoulder in return.
Let your crush know you’re happy to be on a date with them and be casually romantic. Let them know using your language and body language that you’re not trying to be buddies or anything else but romantically involved with your crush. If you try too hard to be friends with your crush, you might end up getting yourself stuck in the “friend zone.” This is never a fun place to be when you like someone!
If you snag a date with your crush, it’s important to let them know right off the start that you enjoy spending time with them romantically and that you’re even sexually interested in them. Take it easy and don’t put pressure on them, and you’ll find that the relationship develops romantically over time.
Don’t Pass Up The Opportunity
It’s important if you see an open door when it comes to asking your crush out, that you take it. Many people are so shy or so caught up in the crush that they fail to realize that their crush is literally holding the door wide open to be asked out!
Some people are hard to read, but if you give it a little time and some effort, you can use their body language and their general attitude towards you to figure out if they’ll be receptive to you asking them out. Taking the plunge and asking your crush out on a date might seem really intimidating at first, but if you have an open door, go for it!
There’s a slight chance of rejection but that’s usually the case no matter who you’re asking out. If the door seems closed, you can wait and see if it opens later. If your crush acts cold to you though, or generally doesn’t give you any reason to believe they’d be interested in having you ask them out, you’re better off expending your energy on another fish in the sea.
With a bit of patience and some courage, you might find yourself dating your crush sooner than you expected!