Should you date a person who still lives with their parents, or should you call the date off without getting to know them? What is the right thing to do?
You’ve met someone. You like them. They like you. You really hit it off. But there’s a small problem. They live at home. With their parents. And they aren’t in college anymore. Should you date them? Should you kick them to the curb?
What She Said About The Date:
Yes, but if it is a temporary living situation. Lots of men (and women) are forced to move back in with their parents for different reasons but that doesn’t mean that they are a loser. People get laid off, people get out of relationships and sometimes they need to shack up with mom and dad for a few weeks. Things happen, but if a guy lives at home and is adamant about getting out soon or knows it is only temporary then cut him some slack.
If you meet a great guy who happens to be in between jobs then that’s okay. The key is that he knows he needs to be constantly looking for a better job and has drive and passion. If this guy never left home (and he is over 21) then you should not date him! If he spends all day on the couch playing video games and has his mom dad his laundry you should not date him!! Your life is not a romantic comedy and he is not Matthew McConaughey. You should have the instinct to know if he is a loser or not and living at home should not be an immediate red flag. His way of handling it should be.
You can’t fault him for getting laid off or needing to be home to help an ailing parent. And he should talk about getting out there, on his own feet and actually do things that prove he is trying. Dating a guy who has had some financial problems but has passion is a lot better then dating a guy who has his own place but is a douche bag.
What He Said About The Date:
Yes, there was that movie where Matthew McConaughey got tons of sex while living at home, but that’s only because A) it’s a movie and B) he looks like Matthew McConaughey and he can get sex even if he had a strap on dildo attached to his chick. Which is reason 3,432,324,993,120 that ever man hates him and will kill him if they have a chance and think they can get away with it.
Does the fact that your partner lives with their parents make them a bad person? Well, they certainly aren’t a serial killer (that you know of) but it’s not a great sign either. Sure, things happen, but when you have to have wild hot, nasty, “knock stuff over” kind of sex, where are you going to go to have the intercourse exactly? In the car? At your place? In the park? Camping? You definitely want to take into account logistics of actually spending time together (and yes, having sex) when your date lives at home with the ‘rents.
There’s only so many times you can take your partner to the swingers club just so you can have sex without having to worry about waking your parents before it gets old. Sure, that’s at least six months to a year away, but it can and will happen.
Dating a partner who lives at home is like anything else, it can be a deal breaker, but if they’re the right person, then they’re the one? Who cares if they’re in their late 40’s, living at home and their mom is still doing their laundry and cutting the crust of their sandwiches? What’s wrong with that? Nothing, that’s what.
Dating a guy or girl just because they have money isn’t a great reason to date someone, but it tends to be a quite comfortable one. You don’t need money to have a good time and dating doesn’t require money, if you have ample amounts of creativity. So you shouldn’t just kick someone to the curb automatically for lack of funds. Give it a go, and see how it feels. You might really like this person. There’s no point in killing a relationship for no good reason.
You should always give them enough room to hang themselves or rope you in. Then, if you get to that point, where you know definitively how you feel about them and more importantly what kind of relationship you want from them, then you can make the call and go forward from there.