A stripper could make an excellent partner, right? Don’t assume before you date one – here is exactly what to be aware of before dating a stripper! Armed with this massive amount of knowledge, dating dancers—or just enjoying a lot of hot sex with them—is going to be within your grasp.
But before you start considering a serious relationship with that stunner you met last night at the club—or God forbid, marrying one of these women—I want to tell you that many of the negative cliches about strippers are true. While this may sound harsh and certainly not all exotic dancers fall into these stereotypes, you have to accept that when dating a stripper that more often than not the reality behind the fantasy is often more trouble than it’s worth. Again, I’m not saying that all strippers are this way, but if you hang out in this scene for a while, as I have, you’re going to notice similarities among many of them.
What Your Relationship Will Entail
Your relationship with a stripper will probably involve a lot of drama, dishonesty and a complete disregard for sobriety. You’ll have to contend with all the other guys (including her regular customers) who want to fuck your girlfriend and want to get you out of the picture. But then there’s the nights of wild partying, the incredible sex, and the awesome ego boost you get from having sex with a stripper!
This is their lifestyle. No matter what they might say, stripping is more than a job: it’s a lifestyle. These chicks are working all night long, six or seven nights a week, and drinking and possibly using drugs whenever they work. Nearly all strippers at least drink booze on a nightly basis, since it helps them loosen up, shed their inhibitions, and “bond” with customers. (No customer likes it when his stripper orders a $7 orange juice—he wants to think he’s getting her buzzed and making her more vulnerable to his “charms.”)
With this grueling nightly routine, there’s little time for these chicks to get anything else done. They wake up in the afternoon and start getting ready to report back to the club. After a while, the thought of waking up at 8am and going to a “regular” job—and making a regular, taxed income—becomes totally unrealistic. Fundamentally, these women are lazy. If you’re an educated, career-minded guy, it will be impossible for you to relate to their daily routine and how little they get accomplished. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to start dating a hardcore pro and turn her into a productive member of society.
What Happens If You Want Her To Quit Dancing
If you start dating her and have her quit working, she’ll probably wake up in the afternoon and lounge around your house in her sweats. Or, maybe she’ll roll out with your credit card to do some shopping. But don’t think for a minute that she’s going to update her resume and use this opportunity to go after her dream job.
Many Strippers Will Lie
Just in order to be a stripper and mentally accept what they’re doing for a living, they have to lie to themselves. They tell themselves, “I’m only doing this for a limited amount of time—until I pay off my debts/straighten out my life/settle down with the right guy/etc.” They’ll constantly repeat this lie to their friends and family (or, lie about what they do for a living altogether).
If they’ve managed to con themselves, conning you is hardly going to be a stretch. Strippers who’ve been in “the game” for a while seem to develop an allergy to telling the truth. If you try to date a stripper, get ready to deal with a level of flakiness you’ve never encountered before. Phone calls will go unreturned for days. She’ll break appointments with you at the last minute, for ridiculous reasons. She’ll need to borrow money, even though you know she’s hauling down a ton of cash at the club. She’ll make up lies to cover her mistakes and inconsistent behavior, even though just telling you the truth would make things so much easier.
Many Of Them Are Single Mothers
You’ll also find that a lot of strippers, despite their seemingly flawless bodies, are single moms. The fathers of these kids are long gone (or serving prison sentences). Again, this is a result of being with some idiot ex-boyfriend, who got her pregnant and then split. I once had a relationship with a dancer who had a five-year-old daughter. Personally, if I’m dating a stripper, my rule is that I don’t even want to meet her kid. I’m sure her daughter was cute and sweet and wonderful, but I didn’t want to get involved—and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get on the hook financially.
I did this for the child’s sake, really. I figure the kid has enough issues to deal with, having a stripper for a mom and no father, without me coming into her life, forming a bond with her and acting like her surrogate father, and then bailing (just like her father did). I suppose if you get into a serious relationship with a stripper, you’re going to have to get involved with the child and be a father figure. You might actually find joy in that. I’ve known relationships like this that worked out. Personally, I’m not interested in marrying a stripper, and I know that each relationship is going to eventually fall apart. Therefore, I keep the kids out of the picture.
What To Do To Make It Work
If you do wind up getting into a relationship with a dancer, you’ve also got to be prepared to deal with how she makes her living. Jealousy often becomes a destructive factor. Only two types of men have no problem whatsoever being a stripper’s boyfriend. The first type of guy is confident enough in himself, and in the relationship, to know that her job is exactly that—a JOB. Usually, this type of guy has hung around enough strip clubs, and known enough dancers, to understand that it’s work to them and that the “flirting” with customers is an act.
(With my ex, when she went to work, we’d joke about her “going to the ATM machine.” She’d go to the club, milk the suckers for $1,000, then we’d meet up at a bar afterwards and have a great time.)
This type of guy also keeps his girlfriend’s lifestyle in check. He doesn’t accept her irresponsible flakiness. And she doesn’t work every night and sleep all day, because they both want to spend time together as a couple.
(For every 10 strippers that lead reckless fast-lane lifestyles, you’ll find one or two that actually have their heads straightened out and really are just working at the strip club on their way to other things.)
The second type of guy is letting his dancer girlfriend pay the bills. She brings home the bacon, so he’s in no position to complain about her job. He doesn’t want to lose his meal ticket. (Otherwise, how would be able to afford high-quality marijuana and equipment for his rock band?)
If you do wind up dating a dancer, always be in the first category!
Some Other Things To Keep In Mind
Another rule of dating dancers is that you shouldn’t hang around her club while she’s working. This can only create problems. She’s going to feel uncomfortable if you’re watching her flirt with other customers, which will hinder her ability to make money. No matter how cool you are with her, and what she does for a living, steer clear of the club while she’s working. Respect it as her work space.
Setting some ground rules can help, such as asking her to come home directly after her shift and holding her to it. In Las Vegas, however, the strip clubs stay open 24 hours. Her shift might technically end at 1am, but if she’s with a customer who’s shelling out for dance after dance, she’s going to stay with him until he’s ready to leave (or until his money runs out, whichever comes first). It’s part of dancer protocol: as long as the customer is spending money, it’s inappropriate for them to “clock out” and tell the customer they’re going home.
If this becomes a serious problem for you, just end the relationship and move on the next.