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Adult Movies: Pick Your Pleasure – Porn And Beyond

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Adult movies and porn have been “taboo” for many years. Many guys watch porn behind their wife’s or girlfriend’s back alone, in the dark, and often in less than five minutes. Adult movies can be used in so many more ways than just masturbation though! There are hundreds of different kinds of adult movies, so everyone can find their own “flavor.” You and your partner can explore adult movies together to spice up your sex life, and you can use them to explore different sex fantasies without actually trying them. Here’s why adult movies can add that little extra something to your sex life.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdEmSdr2iJ0&feature=channel[/youtube]

Watching Adult Movies Together

A lot of women view porn as “degrading” and assume it’s something that their husbands or boyfriends look at and masturbate to in private – and they do. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Instead of keeping the porn stashed under the mattress or in some innocuous folder deep inside your computer’s hard drive, share it with your partner. Start by browsing different videos together and talking about what each of you like and don’t like. There are so many different styles of adult movies out there that with a little digging, you’ll find a few movies that you and your partner both get turned on by. Watch them together and watch the sparks between you fly!

Trying Your Fantasies Through Videos

So you like the idea of bondage or spanking, or maybe even a little golden shower here and there, but you’ve been afraid to try it. Try watching an adult video that features your chosen fantasy and see how other people are doing it. You may discover that whatever you thought you liked really isn’t your thing, or you may find out that after watching the video, you really do want to try it with your partner! Exploring your sex fantasies through adult movies is a great way to dip your toes in the water without jumping in feet first.

Hardcore vs. Softcore Porn

One of the biggest misconceptions about porn is that it is all hardcore. Many women – and some men – assume that all porn consists of is rough sex and uncomfortable close ups on the actors’ genitals. While a great deal of hardcore porn does exist, it is definitely not the only kind of adult movies that exist. If hardcore porn isn’t up your alley, try checking out some softcore porn instead. These videos don’t show as much as hardcore adult movies do. Think of a rated “R” movie with nudity and just add a little bit more – that’s basically what you’ll find in a softcore adult video.

Kink & Fantasies

Everyone has a different fantasy when it comes to sex, and there is no shortage of kink & sex fantasies in the adult movie industry. No matter what you like – with a few exceptions – there’s a video for it. Whether you want to see two girls going at it or anal sex, you’ll find an adult movie for it and you will most likely find videos that have more than one fetish or fantasy in it. Other fantasies, such as shoe fetishes, smoking fetishes and even diaper fetishes are featured in adult videos, so if you have a fantasy that you’ve been wanting to check out, try finding a video for it. Just remember that there are videos out there that feature things that are illegal or simply just cross way over the line, so make sure that whatever you’re watching consists only of consenting adults and no one is getting seriously harmed.

Amateur Porn

Amateur porn is quickly becoming popular with websites such as YouPorn, which feature mostly regular people with webcams who film themselves having sex. If you’ve never been one for the “Lights, Camera, Action!” feel of a lot of adult movies, amateur porn may be right up your alley.

Sex Ed

If you want to learn how to give a great blowjob or want to learn other great sex techniques, the best place to learn actually isn’t porn. However, there are lots of adult videos that are focused on sex education. Most of them do feature actors having sex and performing the activity they’re teaching, but it’s less of a spectacle and more about instruction. These films are great to watch with you partner when you want to do something different in the bedroom but aren’t sure exactly how to get started. They’ll also help show you techniques that you never even thought of doing – and that will blow your partner’s mind!

Strip Clubs & Porn – What Role Do They Play In A Relationship?

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Guys like their strip clubs and porn as much as they like their football and beer. But what role do they play in your relationship? Should you be angry? Should you be jealous? We’ll get to the bottom of this so you don’t have to.

What She Said:

We’ve talked a lot recently about marriage – is it dead, should you just shack up, should you have an open relationship? What do strip clubs and porn have to do with all this? Well, they are the great equalizer.

What’s that? What do titties, pole dancers and money shots have to do with love? Fidelity, sexual release, sexual fantasy and role-playing come to mind. Sounds kind of fun, doesn’t it? Whether you’re in a brand-new relationship or have been married for ten years, a healthy appetite for sex still remains at the top of the “Must Have” list for a happy partnership. The visual prompt of an evening at a strip club, or an evening in with a DVD from Sugar, can stimulate ideas for you and your partner. It doesn’t have to be an all-the-time thing, but throwing a little something in the mix can definitely spice things up.

To use a broad generalization, men are visual and women are emotional. “Allowing” your guy the option of blatantly ogling some strippers can be freeing – for both of you. Hell, what not get in on the act and go to a strip club together? You can see what kind of things turn your partner on – and emulate them at home. He’ll most assuredly find a way to return the favor! The best part? It’s a way for you to both safely indulge in play without repercussions. Believe me; that beautiful pole dancer isn’t a threat and she doesn’t want to go home with your man. She wants to finish her shift and get out of those painful shoes. There’s rarely any harm to “just looking.” The same goes with porn – and even less so, because you can only lick a T.V. screen for so long before realizing it doesn’t taste very good.

Please note: this isn’t to say your boyfriend/husband isn’t happy with you. You are beautiful and you are more than enough woman for your partner! This is more about shared fantasy and exploration – you get an equal say in what you’re comfortable with, as well as what is exciting! If you feel like you have to give into the strip club experience in order to keep your relationship, this isn’t for you. If you feel equally “naughty” and are having just as much fun – go to the bank, get a bunch of one-dollar bills and enjoy your night!

What He Said:

I actually don’t like strip clubs. There. I said it. I’m all for hot naked chicks, but to me, a stripper is just a really hot used car salesman. She doesn’t give a shit about you. She’s just looking to make the sale, and she’ll do anything to get that commission. Also, most strippers are really bad at their job: convincing the men in the joint that they’d actually like to do them. Really great customer service from strippers is as rare as calling a 1-800 number and getting a U.S. based customer service rep. That, and any strip club is locked down. I mean, seriously, they operate on DEFCON five. You look at one of those girls wrong and some large man will appear out of nowhere and beat the shit out of you. It’s very anal and restrictive in that way. And laws vary from state to state, so things may be a lot tamer than you’d think.

Still, it’s good for our female readers to go, mainly because they’ll never get jealous or upset about their man going again. You’ll be like “He gets turned on by this? This is way lamer than Chippedales! At least then I get to grab his cock!” Well, maybe not that far, but you get the idea.

And your man will love you if you go, because every guy wants to be the one who BRINGS a woman to the strip club. You go, you put down a dollar, you get molested by the stripper (she WILL take your top off, don’t know why, it’s just one of the laws of the universe), and you get a lap dance, and he’ll be harder than Chinese arithmetic. He will molest you when you get home if he makes it that far.

Porn is a tricky subject, because it’s written and shot, more for men than women. That’s changing. Damn feminists. Lol. If you find yourself a female made porn then you can find the plot, emotion and all that other crap that women care about and he can see hot chicks naked and going at it.

It can be a great way to spice up your relationship, especially if you’re monogamous. If you are, it’s going to get boring at some point, or you’re going to need to spice it up. That’s just a given. Porn and strip clubs are a tool. Like a hammer. You can build a house with one or bludgeon someone to death. It’s not the item that’s bad. It’s the person and the application that matter.

Q&A: Why Is My Partner Hiding Porn From Me?

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The majority of men watch porn, but the majority of their partners don’t know about it. Men are very good at keeping porn and masturbation a secret – but do they have to? Your partner isn’t hiding porn from you because he’s hiding other things from you too. Here’s what to do if your partner hides his porn or denies watching it.

Question: I discovered that my partner has been looking at porn and hasn’t told me, in fact if it ever comes up he claims he doesn’t. I’ve even tried to get him to watch it with me before and he says he doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to watch it. What does this mean and should I worry that he’s hiding other things from me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlfRz0VNQo8[/youtube]

Secret Masturbation Is A Habit

Growing up, if a boy got his hands on a Playboy magazine, he was lucky. If he didn’t want Mom to take it away, he’d make sure it was hidden really well and if asked about masturbation, he would deny, deny, deny. A lot of men carry this habit into their relationships with women, but not because he doesn’t trust you. It’s an old habit that dies hard, and some men just don’t think anything about stashing their porn or masturbating in secret because they’ve done it for so long. A man isn’t going to come up to his partner and say, “Hey, I was looking at porn today, what do you think?” It’s just something he does by himself and always has. It doesn’t mean he’s hiding other things from you or that you can’t trust him.

Build Trust

Build trust with your partner by masturbating in front of him and sharing your fantasies with him. Be open with him sexually and make him feel comfortable being sexually open with you. Encourage him to share his fantasies with you as well. Fondle him while you fondle yourself, and trade places. Let him fondle you while he fondles himself and see what happens. Don’t criticize your partner at all sexually, because you want to help him feel that the proverbial bedroom is a safe place to be where he can be himself and not worry about criticism or judgement of any kind. He needs to know that masturbation isn’t wrong and you’re not going to shun him for doing it. He’s not twelve anymore and he doesn’t have to hide masturbation from you. It’s a normal and healthy part of being a man and you need to help him to feel that way by being open and accepting.

Lead By Example

If you want to watch porn with your partner, lead by example. Bring some porn that turns you on to the table and let him know that you’re interested in watching it together. Don’t ask him to share his own porn with you because it will only serve to make him nervous and uncomfortable thinking about you watching his porn and picking it apart. Get some porn that can specifically be “couples porn” and only watch it with each other. Show him that he doesn’t need to be embarrassed about being turned on by porn and that porn can be a great way to spice up your sex life together.

Q&A: How Can I Get Him To Stop Watching Porn?

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Most men watch porn. Unfortunately, a lot of women want to stop their partner from watching porn. These women want their man to look only at them, and think that only they are hot or sexy. Is this a realistic outlook for how a man should behave in a relationship? Or should women relax a little bit and let a man be himself?

Question: What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop looking at porn and not say that other girls are cute/hot/sexy in front of me? I know he’d probably still say it in front of his friends but I don’t like him saying it around me.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXg-c7Clfhs[/youtube]

Men Are Visual Creatures

Men are hardwired to be turned on by visual stimulation. Unlike women, most men can’t read a book to help them get turned on. Instead, most men watch some form of pornography to help them get turned on sexually. Every man likes something different when it comes to porn, whether it’s soft nudity or something a little more hardcore. There’s nothing wrong with a man watching porn to get turned on – it’s completely natural. Unless he’s watching porn and masturbating all the time instead of having sex with you, it’s perfectly normal. He doesn’t qualify for having a porn addiction unless watching porn is something that interrupts or takes over his daily life.

Other Women Can Be Pretty

When you started dating your partner, every other girl in the world didn’t magically get ugly. Forcing him to only look at you and think you are pretty is unreasonable and controlling. It will make your partner feel as though he can’t be honest with you or be himself around you, and it can wreak havoc on your relationship. Let him look at other women, and if he makes a comment about them, so be it. As long as he’s not being derogatory and making comments about how you should look like that, there’s no harm done. Learn to have enough self confidence to know that he thinks you’re sexy and hot too – and his favorite.

Lose The Jealousy Issues

If you find yourself wanting to force your man to stop watching porn or stop glancing at other women around you, it’s time to lose the jealousy issues. It’s normal for a man to watch porn and to notice pretty women around him. What isn’t normal is having such a low self esteem that you feel the need to control your partner so that he only looks at you. Realize that your partner chose to be with you and he makes that choice again every day as he continues to be with you and have a relationship with you. That runs so much deeper than simply thinking another girl is hot or pretty, or being turned on by nakedness. Who isn’t intrigued by nudity? We’re human and it’s part of us. Talk to a counselor – they can help you build your self esteem and learn to love yourself whether your partner looks at porn and other women or not. If you don’t lose the jealousy issues, you might very well lose your man.

How To Watch Porn With Your Partner

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Just about every guy likes watching porn – and most women don’t like it. But what if you watched porn with your partner? Could watching porn with your man make your sex life better? Absolutely – and you might learn a thing or two. Next time you’re at the video store, rent a naughty flick or purchase one online. Set aside a night one week that you and your partner can watch the movie together – just leave plenty of time for afterwards too!

What Not To Do When Watching Porn With Your Partner

  • Don’t ask your partner to pick out what he likes. You might not like the answer. Instead, choose a flick that you and he agree on and has elements that turn you both on.
  • Don’t ask him to compare the woman in the movie to you in either looks or technique. This is a common mistake that many women make when watching porn with their partner, but it can be disastrous. Your partner doesn’t know the right answer to this – because no answer is a good answer.
  • Don’t compare any men in the video to your man – at all – especially if you’re commenting on penis size.
  • Don’t try to use porn to solve emotional or sexual problems in your relationship. If you and your partner aren’t both confident and open with each other, it will likely make any underlying issues you have worse.
  • Don’t be afraid to tell your partner that you’re uncomfortable with something. If a certain movie or technique makes you uncomfortable – especially if he wants you to try it – let your partner know that it’s just not something that you’re comfortable with. Don’t be critical or judge him because it’s something that turns him on – simply suggest something else that you would both like.

What You Should Do When You Watch Porn With Your Partner

  • Keep an open mind!
  • Try watching amateur porn if you’re uncomfortable with pornography actors.
  • Try making your own porn with your camcorder and watching it instead of traditional pornography. This can be a great learning experience too, because it allows both you and your partner to see your sexual techniques from a different point of view and can give you new ideas on how to improve your sexual skills.
  • Watch the movie naked with your partner – it will be easier to allow the video to transition smoothly into sex with your partner.
  • Have a “porn night.” Once a week or once a month, have a night that is completely dedicated to watching porn with your partner and incorporating new moves into your sexual routine.
  • Try watching different styles of porn to keep things from getting boring.
  • Have a few toys and some lube handy while watching the sexy flick. You’ll never know what you’ll be inspired to do!
  • Remember that the best way to do something, such as giving your partner a blowjob or receiving oral sex from him, is not necessarily the way the porn stars do it. Do the things that your partner enjoys and listen to their body language to let you know if you’re getting it right – don’t just assume you’re doing what your partner likes just because the porn stars did it.