Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for analingus

Q&A: What Health Precautions Should Be Taken for Analingus

By

In addition to enjoying anal sex, many people enjoy analingus. What exactly is analingus? It is the act of licking your partner’s anus to give them pleasure, and it is also called a rim job or rimming. Common sense tells us that the “back door” isn’t the most clean place on the planet to be putting your mouth, so how can you make it safer and healthier so you can still give your partner pleasure – and recieve pleasure – this way?

Question: What health considerations should be taken for analingus and “oral sex on feet’?

–Dan & Jennifer Forum Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mqxEbQC6BU[/youtube]

Cleanliness Is Key

The most important thing with analingus is cleanliness. You just can’t be clean enough! Definitely don’t do it right after your partner has a bowel movement (yuck!) and make sure your partner washes up good down there. Use antibacterial hand soap and hot water if you like, but regular soap works just as well as long as you get your anus or your partner’s anus good and clean. Many people have hair near their anuses that can trap bacteria and matter, and it can either be shaved or waxed for ultra cleanliness and smoothness down there. Bacteria transferred from the anus to the mouth can be dangerous and can make you very, very sick, so it’s important to take proper precautions before engaging in analingus.

Try Using A Barrier

If you or your partner really want to try analingus but are just really freaked out by the idea of putting your tongue down there, a great solution is to use a dental dam or other type of barrier. A dental dam is simply a square piece of latex or other material that goes in between the anus and your mouth. Plastic food wrap works well in a pinch too. This helps prevent bacteria and even matter from getting near your mouth, while still giving your partner the same sensations that analingus would were you not using a dam or barrier. The trick to make this feel extra good is to put a dab or two f good water based or silicone based lubricant in between the anus and the barrier to allow for more freedom of movement and titillating sensations.

Oral Sex On Feet

Some foot lovers enjoy licking or sucking their partner’s feet or toes, and many people enjoy the sensations of having their toes and feet licked and sucked. This is a dirty job too, however, not as dangerous as analingus can be if you’re not clean. Of course, a good, clean foot is better than one just out of a sweaty sock. Have your partner go for a pedicure to remove all the dead skin and calluses (and cute, painted toenails are always sexy!) and have them wash their feet well with hot, soapy water before putting your mouth on them. Generally, these are all the health precautions you need to take here, but you can use a dental dam or plastic food wrap if you really hate the idea of putting your tongue and mouth on someone’s feet. Just remember – a dab of lube under the dam or wrap does wonders!

Q&A: Anal Sex – How To Keep It Clean And Safe

By

Anal sex can be great fun, if you take care in doing it properly.  On the other hand, anal sex can cause a lot of pain, discomfort and a big mess if you’re not careful! Does that mean that you shouldn’t have anal sex if it’s something you enjoy? Not necessarily. Here’s a few tips on how to keep anal sex clean and safe.

Question: My boyfriend really wants to do anal, and I do too, but honestly I’m afraid that he might get something on his penis. Could you please tell me what I can do for that not to happen, because I really want to do it for him.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kl_J8wVRU[/youtube]

Keeping The Pipes Clean

Well, it has to be said that if you “play in the mud, you might get dirty.” If you have anal sex with your partner, he may end up getting some fecal matter on his penis, regardless of what you do to keep that from happening. You may end up having looser bowel movements or mild incontinence after having anal sex as well, so it may not just get on his penis. There are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of playing dirty, but you can’t eliminate. It’s just what the anus is for.

  • Eat a healthy diet with lots of fiber. Fiber is in lots of good vegetables, like broccoli, and can be found in a variety of other healthy foods. You can also use fiber supplements such as Metamucil. Fiber will help give you regular bowel movements, so nothing stays in one place too long.
  • Try an enema. You see porn stars having anal sex all the time, and unless it’s a fetish video, things stay pretty clean, right? That’s generally because they have enemas on a regular basis to “clean out the pipes.” An enema will remove most of the fecal matter from your intestines before you have anal sex. This is likely the best way to ensure that little to no matter ends up on your partner’s penis.
  • Have your partner wear a condom. Nothing will actually get on his penis, persay….
  • Realize that the anus is used for excrement – it’s a fact of life. If your partner would be totally grossed out by having a bit of fecal matter on his penis after anal sex, maybe anal sex just isn’t for him.

Keeping It Comfortable And Safe

Anal sex can be uncomfortable, especially if you don’t use enough good, water or silicone based lube. Don’t be shy on the lube, and remember to go slow. Never use desensitizing lubricant, because if it starts to hurt, you need to stop. Things can get torn back there, and spending the night in the emergency room for stitches in your back door is not fun. Don’t let your partner play rough back there. If you want rough sex, have vaginal sex. The anus is not the place to see how hard you can take it. Keep things clean by washing your hands, washing any anal sex toys you play with and never, ever insert the penis into the vagina after it has been in the anus without removing the condom and washing it thoroughly with soap and water first. If you use toys, stay with small toys that are designed with a wide base. The anus can stretch and sometimes doesn’t go back to the same size it was before if you stretch it too much. Incontinence anyone? When you respect anal sex for what it can be – extremely pleasurable for some people but also dangerous if you’re not careful – you can have fun without most of the mess and without pain and damage in the long run.

Is Anal Sex Really Dangerous?

By

Anal sex, like any type of sex, can be pleasurable but can also take a nasty turn if you don’t take the appropriate precautions and use care when having anal sex.

So can it be dangerous? You bet, but that doesn’t have to exclude it from your list of enjoyable bedroom (or other room) activities if you really enjoy it.

Here are some ways you can make anal sex safe and fun.

Is anal sex really dangerous? Can it be practiced safely?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cv2WADgqOs[/youtube]

Practice and Patience

Anal sex isn’t something you’re going to be able to be successful with on the first try. It might hurt at first, and you’ll have to go slow. It’s important that your partner and you are on the same page about how to try anal sex.

Practice first with your fingers or other small, smooth objects until you get used to the sensation. Have patience and work up to the point where anal sex isn’t as uncomfortable.

Keeping Clean

That particular orifice in our bodies was designed to excrete waste, and it does so pretty efficiently. Unfortunately, since anal sex is something our bodies weren’t designed to do (although we can manage pretty well sometimes), you might end up “playing in the mud” when you try anal sex.

Human waste is loaded with bacteria and in part, that’s what makes it dangerous if you don’t keep things clean. NEVER have vaginal intercourse after anal intercourse without washing thoroughly. Wash your hands, toys, penis and anything else that was involved. Wash everything again when you’re done! NEVER have oral sex after anal sex!

You can reduce your exposure to the bacteria in human waste if you wear a condom during anal intercourse. Even if you’re a monogamous couple, wearing a condom will help keep things safe for everyone involved.

Going Slow

While having anal sex puts both parties involved at risk for bacteria exposure, it exposes the receiver of anal sex to injury in that area if the giving partner isn’t careful. When having anal sex, go slow and don’t try to have rough sex.

Use soft, long and slow strokes to avoid tearing or other types of injury there. If you’re the giving partner, and the receiver asks you to stop, STOP! Using care and caution is of the utmost importance when having anal sex.

Communication is Key

Make sure that you and your partner agree on how you’re going to proceed with anal sex. Talk to each other and make sure the lines of communication are always open.

If a situation arises, talk about it! When you’re done talking about it, make sure to talk some more! You put yourself at a higher risk of doing damage during anal sex if you and your partner aren’t in agreement about how it’s going to be handled.

While anal sex isn’t always dangerous every time you do it, it can be and should be regarded with care and caution. Don’t go into anal sex without speaking to your partner thoroughly before, during and after anal sex and don’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Keeping everything clean is probably the most important aspect of making anal sex safe and fun, as is making sure you’re going slowly and your partner isn’t uncomfortable. If you’re cautious, anal sex can become a fun alternative to spice up your sex life!

When to Say NO to Anal Sex…

By

Trying new things in your sex life is healthy, and in many cases, even encouraged.

Some people tend to find a few things they like, such as anal sex, and may incorporate this into their sexual activities regularly.

Sometimes, however, you’ll find that after kids or other things that some things become uncomfortable or unbearable.

What happens if you become unable to perform you or your partner’s favorite sex acts due to one or more reasons?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband loves anal sex… we used to have it a lot (several years ago). Now it is extremely painful for me. I have been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and have a couple external hemorrhoids from having children. We have tried taking it easy, tried using fingers first and LOTS of lube.

How can I get over the horrible pain so he will be happy? I don’t know what else to do. Can you help me? PLEASE!!!

-Me. WV

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5onqX2asejE[/youtube]

When it becomes uncomfortable…

Many people enjoy different activities during sex. This can range from S & M to anal sex to foot fetishes to anything your imaginations can dream up.

As long as you both enjoy it and you are both being smart and safe, there’s nothing against having fun and enjoying new and different things with your partner!

Good things can’t last forever though, and you may find that some of the things you once enjoyed doing have become uncomfortable and even painful. For example, if you and your partner really enjoy having anal sex, but after children it becomes painful for you to do so, you and your partner may become frustrated.

Just what do you do if you and your partner’s favorite activities become something you aren’t able to do anymore? Do you stop? Do you grin and bear it?

But they like it…

Even if something in particular is uncomfortable or painful to you, if your partner likes it a lot, you might be inclined to let them continue and just suffer through the pain. This is not something you are obligated to do! Not only is it extremely uncomfortable for you, it might even cause you harm in some way.

If you have had surgery or have had children and there are some physical reasons that keep you from enjoying your partner in the same way you once had, talk to your doctor about how safe it is for you to continue doing so. Don’t be embarrassed! They’ve heard it all before!

If you continue, you may find that it’s not just painful, it’s downright dangerous and could cause your body further damage. Your doctor can tell you what is safe and what isn’t.

Finding something else…

While you and your partner may be disappointed at first, if you truly love each other and care about each other, you’ll find more new and exciting ways to give each other pleasure.

There are a million and one things out there that two people can do together to share each other intimately and sexually, and if you continue to try new things and work different elements into your routine, you’re bound to find something else that turns you and your partner on. Don’t give up!

They won’t let it go…

Every once in awhile, there’s someone who just won’t let it go. They may want it anyway, even if it hurts you or may cause your body damage. Rest assured, this person isn’t worth your time! You have the right to say “No” and if something hurts you, you don’t have to do it.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea that will respect your boundaries and respect you if you choose to no longer participate in an activity that makes you uncomfortable.

Do You Know The Hidden Dangers of Anal Sex?

By

Anal sex… Some people love it. Some people are disgusted by the mere mention of it.

So is it really a special treat, or a very dangerous game that should be avoided at all costs?

The answer depends on who you ask and what  their sexual preferences are. It’s not your place to judge another person nor is it another person’s right to judge your sexual preferences.

Here’s a question from a couple who watched an episode of “Talk Sex” with Sue Johanson. They’re wondering if we agree with her take on anal sex.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I watched your videos on YouTube and I wanted to explore a bit more one subject. My girlfriend and I have had anal sex several times, but she recently saw a episode of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. In this episode she mentioned of all the bad things that can happen if one is to have anal sex.

Our question is the following: Will having anal sex about once, twice or even 3 times a month, with lube and no pain still lead to these problems? Is it eminent like cigarettes give you breathing problems? or possible like walking and twisting an ankle? Thanks, keep up the good work!

— Domenic, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMDDOXDn_8E[/youtube]

Is Having Anal Sex Dangerous?

Like all things, there are risks associated with having anal sex that must be considered and weighed against the pleasure and intimacy that many couples experience while engaging in this type of sex play.

Sue Johanson has written a really great article on the things to watch out for if you are going to have anal sex.

Check out her full article here.

In her article, Sue mentions many problems that could possible occur during anal sex.

Possible Complications Caused By Having Anal Sex

First, understand your anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles called sphincters, one is located about an 1 ½ inches above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas.

The mucous membrane which lines the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily, and it does not heal as quickly as the inner walls of the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, pass through the rectum any tears in the mucous membrane are vulnerable to infection.

The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane.

What Can Happen If The Membrane Tears?

Tears in the mucous membrane of the rectum can develop into anal abscesses that can become infected.

Also, if your partner has any sexually transmitted infections (STI’s), then you could get infected through these tears.

Examples of sexually transmitted infections are: gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure).

You do not want any of these STI’s.

Other Potential Problems Associated with Anal Sex

Some doctors claim that hemorrhoids (piles) could result from vigorous anal sex, and although I have no medical research to support this, I have heard people say that the rectum “gets sloppy”, meaning it stretches more than it otherwise would.

However, I am dubious. If anal “sloppiness” was true, why wouldn’t this happen as a result of regular bowel movements? Since there is no definitive research on this, I’ll leave it up to you to decide how you feel about this.

Should You Have Anal Sex Anyway?

Well, according to Sue, the best prevention is to not go there at all!

But if you do decide to try anal sex, she suggests that both you and your partner talk about it and agree on the following points. And we absolutely agree with everything she says in this list.

  • Your partner must be very, very gentle, absolutely no forced penetration and no vigorous thrusting.
  • You must use lots and lots of good lubrication, (anal lube, not saliva).
  • Your partner must use a condom…all the time, every time.
  • Your partner must respect “stop”. If you say ouch, or it hurts, or No or quit… they must stop immediately.
  • It must be understood, if you do not want to have anal sex again, there will be no pressure, no threats and no pleading. NO means NO.
  • Use a well-lubricated condom without spermicide, either on the sex toy or his penis. Spermicide can irritate the rectum.
  • Never shift from anal sex back to vaginal sex without changing condoms. Feces can end up in the vagina and cause infections. And please wash your hands with soap and water after handling the dirty condom or you could still spread infectious material.

Just How Risky Is It?

The problems that Sue mentions in her article are definitely possible, but not necessarily probable…

Like smoking, the risks are lower if you do it less often.

Chances are you’re not going to get lung cancer from smoking one pack of cigarettes. And as long as you’re careful when having anal sex, the chances of running into the problems that Sue mentions in her article are greatly reduced if you do it very carefully and only occasionally.

Keep in mind that the rectum is designed as an “out hole” – not an “in hole”. Our advice is that if you are going to have anal sex, be very gentle and take it very slowly, use lots and lots of good quality lubrication, and save it as the occasional treat.

Don’t make it a regular activity that you do every day. Save it for special occasions.

Is It OK For Me To Talk My Partner Into Trying Anal Sex?

Like Sue, we get lots of questions from men wondering how they can “talk their girlfriend into having anal sex“. She adamantly says that you should never try to convince your partner to have anal sex.

We think it could go either way. We all use the art of gentle persuasion a hundred times a day to convince our kids to clean their rooms, to convince our husband to take out the trash, to talk ourselves into going to the gym when we don’t always feel like it.

Persuasion is not always a bad thing. Sometimes we need a little encouragement to move past our fears and overcome our shyness.

We do, however, want to stress that no one should ever be forced or pressured into doing any sexual act that they’re not 100% comfortable with and willing to do.

Do not confuse gentle persuasion with force and coercion!

Talk to your partner, and figure out works well for both of you. Sex should be enjoyable for both parties involved – anal or otherwise.