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You are here: Home / Archives for bdsm

4 Kinky Rough Sex Ideas

By loveandsex

Rough sex can turn a boring bedroom experience into something that both you and your partner look forward to. Rough sex is kinky and fun, but safety has to be taken into consideration before anything can be implemented.

A relationship is about love, but your sex life should be full of lust. If you would like to use some kinky rough sex in your sex life, there are a few ways that you can implement it without spending your mortgage at an adult store.

1. Role-Play

Role-play is fun, kinky and it doesn’t have to cost you a dime. Everybody has a scenario in their head about role-playing that gets them going. Whether you have a fantasy about being dominated by a teacher or being the dominator in the relationship, role-playing can bring out the inner wild with any couple. Talk to your partner about implementing role-playing into your sex life.

In order for this to work, she has to be on-board. If she does not play her role the both of you could spend the night in laughter instead of having sex. Ask her what kind of role-playing she would be into. Every woman has a fantasy that they want to play out so be confident that she will not think you are strange for bringing this up.

2. Domination

Domination is another rough sex idea that you can bring into your sex life. Dominating your girlfriend or having her dominate you is a great way to keep the sex interesting. Pulling her hair can show that you’re in control of the sex. Again, she has to be comfortable with this situation in order for it to work.

Talk to her about how far she wants you to go or how far you are comfortable with her going. There is always a breaking point, but she might surprise you with how far she is willing to go with the situation. Most guys are not afraid to let their girlfriends dominate them to the fullest, but you should also express concerns of what you’re comfortable with her doing to you.

3. Spanking

Spanking is another rough sex idea that you can use. Spanking is usually done in doggy style or with the girl on top. Some girls are really into this, but others are not. Make sure that your girlfriend knows that you’re going to spank her before you do it.

Do not spank her so hard that you leave a hand print on her cheek. If she wants it harder she will tell you. You can also use a whip if she’s into it. This takes the experience to a whole different level while still keeping the eroticism present.

4. Bondage

One of the best kinky rough sex ideas out there is to have her tie you up or to tie her up. When you are tied up you give away control of the situation. You give her the ability to use you as her own sex toy. This can be very hot for any guy. If you are going to tie her up, there are a few things that you should know. First, teasing her is the best way to get her off when she’s tied up. Use a vibrator to tease her or run a piece of soft fabric down her body.

This will bring her to edge and make her beg for you to go further. Secondly, don’t give her what she wants until you are ready to. When you tie her up you are in control. You are the dominant one in the situation so you call the shots. If she wants you to do something, tease her for a couple of minutes before you give in. Make minutes seem like hours and she will never forget it.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, domination, kink, kinky sex, rough sex, sex tips

3 Tips for Keeping Rough Sex Unpredictable

By loveandsex

Rough sex can be lots of fun for both you and your partner, but even though you’re not necessarily having what is known as “vanilla sex” (you know, the plain, boring kind), it can get monotonous if you’re not careful to mix things up every now and then.

Some couples get bored of rough sex after awhile, but are afraid to take it any further because they aren’t comfortable with spanking harder or going too far outside their box. However, you can keep things interesting and exciting without pushing yourself or your partner too far past your comfort zone. Here are three ways to keep rough sex new and fun.

How Rough Sex Can Become Monotonous

Whether you’re talking about oral sex, rough sex or good old fashioned intercourse, if you and your lover do the same things over and over again, it’s going to get boring. You may think that just because you’re having “rough sex” that you’re keeping things fresh, but that isn’t always the case. It’s easy to get bored with biting, spanking and even a little bondage if that’s all you do.

The Key To Mixing It Up

The key to keep rough sex unpredictable is to mix it up with different styles of sex, specifically sweet, romantic, slow sex. Your partner won’t be expecting your next move if you switch from being soft and loving to giving her a quick smack and showing a little bit of domination and control. Going back and forth between the two different styles of sex will keep your partner guessing all night at what you’re going to do next!

Why You Need To Keep Her Guessing Your Next Move

Trying something new to spice up your sex life is one thing, but it still gives your partner an idea of what is to come when when she slides between the sheets at the end of the day. If you really want to make sex between you and your lover exciting and fresh, you want to make what you’re doing completely unpredictable. If you always slide your hands to her breasts after giving her a slow, deep kiss, she’ll learn to expect that you’re going to do that every time and she’ll know exactly what you’re going to do and when.

Instead, try giving her a firm pinch or slap on her rear after the deeply romantic kiss – and then switch right back to moves that are slow and sensual. If you keep alternating between rough sex and sweet and loving sex, she’ll never know what to expect and it will be like having sex for the first time all over again!

3 Ways To Make Rough Sex New & Exciting

1. Kiss the back of her neck softly and then suddenly give her a sharp spank.

The back of a woman’s neck is actually one of her more potent erogenous zones. Kissing her softly on the back of the neck is sure to give her goosebumps all over, but what she won’t be prepared for is the firm spank on her rear. Surprise her with a firm smack or two and gauge her reaction. You’ll see the surprise there, but you’ll definitely notice how much more turned on she is because you did something she didn’t see coming. She’ll be just as surprised when you switch to kissing her softly again!

2. Have rough, dominant doggy style sex, then suddenly switch to the missionary position and start slowly and gently making love to her.

If you and your lover are going at it doggy style, she’ll think that you’re going to finish that way and that will be that. Instead, flip her over and start to pleasure her with soft, slow sex. When she’s had an orgasm or two, switch back to rough sex and show her your dominant side!

3. Use a two-sided “flogger” (a sex toy with a hard surface on one side and a soft, tickly surface on the other) and gently tickle her body with the soft side and switch to spanking her firmly with the hard side.

When you alternate between two different touches – one hard and firm, and the other soft – you are sending two different sensations and emotions through your lover’s body. She’ll be incredibly turned on by feeling cherished while you tickle and stroke her, to feeling submissive while you dominate her with a firm touch. Alternating back and forth during foreplay (in a completely random way) will keep her guessing and what she’s going to feel next!

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, kinky sex, rough sex, spanking

5 Ways To Discover Your Kinky Alter Ego

By serenapaige

Kinky sex can be a great way to spice up a boring sex life, but just how do you get there? Check out these five tips to reveal your darker side.

Finding your kinky alter ego doesn’t have to be a difficult task. So many couples go through vanilla sex and don’t address it. If you and your girlfriend have had “the talk” about a bland sex life then you are a step ahead of the game. Sex is an important part of the relationship and it can be a very frustration endeavor to keep things spicy.

If you’re looking for a way to bring out the inner-freak, there are a few things that you can do. You don’t have to head out and get a latex suit or become a certified dom. You can find out what turns you on very quickly with minimal hassle and little effort.

1. Ask Her What Turns Her On

Most of the time a guy will simply get turned on by having a girl turned on. When women find themselves so hot that they can’t contain it anymore, guys are instantly in the mood. Most of the guys that you talk to will tell you the same thing. They are much more concerned with getting their girlfriend or wife off than actually getting off themselves. Take this into consideration when you are trying to spice up your bedroom activities.

2. Do You Get Embarrassed?

There are a lot of guys that are easily embarrassed when it comes to sex and sexual fantasies. Maybe you want your girlfriend dress up like a Catholic schoolgirl or maybe you want her to dominate you. These are both fairly common sexual fantasies. However, there are a lot of guys they get so embarrassed when they talk about their fantasies that they can’t actually act upon them. Talk to your partner in an open and honest, nonjudgmental way about what would really turn you on.

Try to come up with a way that you won’t get embarrassed halfway through and have her reassure you that you are not strange or weird because of your sexual fantasies. A girlfriend that is confident in her own sexuality and willing to play a part of your sexual fantasy will help the relationship immensely.

3. Watch Some Pornography

Say what you want about pornography, but it is one of the best tools to get men and women going. One of the easiest ways to use pornography is to help you discover what your sexual fantasies are. Whether you are into straight sex, domination, lesbian porn or all of the above, pornography can help you get there.

Take your girlfriend or wife to an adult store and search through the porno section. Decide on a movie that you will both enjoy and then take it home and watch it. Relationships are about compromise. If you are trying to find common ground in spicing up your sex life, deciding on a porno for the both of you is a great first step. If you can’t decide on one movie, find two or three and take them home for a whole weekend of fun and exploration.

4. Sex Toys

Sex toys can be a great way to find out exactly how kinky you are comfortable being. But if you get the wrong sex toys, you might put yourself and your partner in an awkward position. Have you ever had the fantasy of using a vibrator on a girl? How about a butt plug? Before you do any of this you’re going to need to talk to your partner.

It is her body that you’re going to be experimenting with after all. Sit her down and talk to her honestly. Tell her about how hot you think it will be and tell her that you believe it could bring the two of your closer in your sex life. You will probably be surprised on how open she will be to your honesty.

5. Be In The Moment

Most women love a guy that can be in the moment. If you have talked about getting more kink in your sex life, go ahead and do it. You girl is going to be much more open to things in the height of her arousal than talking about it afterward or before. If you want to try a new sex position, tell her in the middle of sex. Sometimes putting her in that position without asking can be a huge turn on for women. If she doesn’t feel comfortable with something, she will tell you. Don’t try something crazy on a whim, but you shouldn’t be afraid of trying something new on a whim.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, better sex, kinky sex, sex tips, sexual fantasies

Rough, Hard Sex – Is It A Fetish, Or Something More?

By loveandsex

There are as many ways to have sex as there are people in the world – whether you enjoy slow, sensual intimacy with your partner or a little raunchy fun, sex is an incredible experience between two people. Many people enjoy rough, hard sex – is it just a fetish or something more?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I love rough, hard sex.  I like to have it all the time!  Is this just a fetish or is there something wrong with me?

–Alyssa, New Jersey

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amgS6rWpSI8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

What Goes On Behind Closed Doors?

What goes on in your bedroom – or living room or kitchen, for that matter – is your business as long as it is between two consenting adults and isn’t harming anyone. Most of the time sex – even the rough, hard kind – falls into this category but occasionally it doesn’t.

Make a mental checklist of what is going on between you and your partner when you have rough sex. Are both parties consenting adults? Is either party being hurt in some way? Usually, this is where some types of rough, hard sex cross the line.

Some people enjoy being hurt, but it’s important to look at the extent of it to decide how much is too much. Strangulation and asphyxiation are especially dangerous, as are things that would require either partner to seek a doctor’s attention afterwards.

If you like rough, hard sex, just make sure you’re being safe.

Is It A Fetish?

Typically, a fetish is an obsession with a single thing – such as shoes or bondage – but that doesn’t mean a liking for rough, hard sex is excluded. If you enjoy rough sex all the time, so much so that you avoid having any other type of sex, you might have a bit of a fetish.

That’s okay – as long as you’re not truly hurting someone or involving someone that doesn’t want to be involved. If your partner really enjoys rough sex and you do too, it can be a great way to connect in the bedroom.

If your partner enjoys rough, hard sex and you typically do not, that’s when it may cross the line.

Open Communication

If your partner likes hard sex and you don’t, make sure your partner knows this right away! You don’t have to submit yourself to sex that isn’t enjoyable to you and may be hurting you.

Chances are, your partner will be open to finding new ways of pleasing you and themselves without rough sex.

If feel that your partner might have a serious issue with rough sex, especially if they refuse to stop even after you’ve asked them to, it’s definitely going too far. If this is the case, consider the fact that you and your partner might not be a good match for each other.

Whether you enjoy rough, hard sex with your partner or prefer a softer side of your partner in the bedroom, just keep the lines of communication as open as you can.

Whether it’s coming up with a safety word that lets you both know it’s time to stop or simply letting your partner know you’re not really into the hard sex fetish, communication is the key to a healthy and happy sexual relationship.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, domination, role play, rough sex, submission

4 Myths About Bondage

By loveandsex

Bondage is gaining popularity, but there are many misconceptions about it. Check out these four untruths you didn’t know about bondage.

Bondage is pleasure-inflicting, fun and, most of all, safe, as long as you’re both aware of your roles and never cross the line.

The bound person finds it exciting because it provides him/her the opportunity to be ‘lazy’ but get all the attention at the same time; the only thing he or she has to do is relax and enjoy what his or her partner has in stall for the evening.

There is also the pleasure of suspense, of waiting to see what is going to happen next, where the dominator will decide to touch and how he is going to do it. Consensual, agreed on bondage gives the one that is dominated a paradox of feelings, which is quite enthusiastically perceived by the lovers of such a sexual activity; it puts you in state of vulnerability, but also gives you security, because the one that is doing it is a loved and trustworthy person. It’s a sort of a calm and serene surrender. A surrender that engenders new heights of sexual arousal.

For the one that does the ‘bonding’ however, it’s more about power in its purest physical and psychological form. No one else but you is really in charge in this particular erotic scenario. The visual appeal of having complete control over the other, tying him or her up and listening to him or her begging for ‘mercy’ is undeniable. His or her body is there for you to tease and please as you see fit.

Since I’m pretty much assuming that you’re aroused by now by the mere thought of trying it as soon as possible, I’ve put together a few comments and explanation so that you don’t fail from the first try, and, most importantly, don’t hurt anybody in the process, either physically or emotionally.

1. It’s Perverted

People involved in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) aren’t perverts who enjoy harming others, this is a prejudice older than Buddha and it makes me mad whenever I see that there are still people who think like that. Every couple can experiment with bondage if they are determined to change the “vanilla” setting of their love life with something hotter and spicier. Exploring your sexuality is something to be desired, not ostracized.

2. The Toys Are Violent

In itself, no sex toy is ever violent or abusive. The way you choose to use them can be, though. If you spank your girlfriend or tie her to the bed without her initial consent, then you’re in deep trouble mister, but you don’t need me to tell you that. If your action and intention are harmless, the toy is too. If you use it carefully and how it should be used, the only “violence” you’ll get is that of your partner’s orgasm.

3. It’s Addictive

People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies become addicted to their own behavior, whatever that behavior is. Bondage is not an illness or a drug, to become addicted to. If you have a fetish for this kind of sexual activity, it’s normal to want to do it more often than not, and if your partner consents to it or likes it just as much as you, bondage can be explored for as long as you like, without being considered to be an addiction.

4. People Who Like It Were Abused

Bondage is not a crime and people who want to experiment with it should not be made to feel guilty about it. As long as you are well informed about it, take responsibility for your pleasure and not listen to traditional authoritarian voices that belong to the past.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, domination, fetish, kink, kinky sex, sex tips

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