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3 Tips for Keeping Rough Sex Unpredictable

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Rough sex can be lots of fun for both you and your partner, but even though you’re not necessarily having what is known as “vanilla sex” (you know, the plain, boring kind), it can get monotonous if you’re not careful to mix things up every now and then.

Some couples get bored of rough sex after awhile, but are afraid to take it any further because they aren’t comfortable with spanking harder or going too far outside their box. However, you can keep things interesting and exciting without pushing yourself or your partner too far past your comfort zone. Here are three ways to keep rough sex new and fun.

How Rough Sex Can Become Monotonous

Whether you’re talking about oral sex, rough sex or good old fashioned intercourse, if you and your lover do the same things over and over again, it’s going to get boring. You may think that just because you’re having “rough sex” that you’re keeping things fresh, but that isn’t always the case. It’s easy to get bored with biting, spanking and even a little bondage if that’s all you do.

The Key To Mixing It Up

The key to keep rough sex unpredictable is to mix it up with different styles of sex, specifically sweet, romantic, slow sex. Your partner won’t be expecting your next move if you switch from being soft and loving to giving her a quick smack and showing a little bit of domination and control. Going back and forth between the two different styles of sex will keep your partner guessing all night at what you’re going to do next!

Why You Need To Keep Her Guessing Your Next Move

Trying something new to spice up your sex life is one thing, but it still gives your partner an idea of what is to come when when she slides between the sheets at the end of the day. If you really want to make sex between you and your lover exciting and fresh, you want to make what you’re doing completely unpredictable. If you always slide your hands to her breasts after giving her a slow, deep kiss, she’ll learn to expect that you’re going to do that every time and she’ll know exactly what you’re going to do and when.

Instead, try giving her a firm pinch or slap on her rear after the deeply romantic kiss – and then switch right back to moves that are slow and sensual. If you keep alternating between rough sex and sweet and loving sex, she’ll never know what to expect and it will be like having sex for the first time all over again!

3 Ways To Make Rough Sex New & Exciting

1. Kiss the back of her neck softly and then suddenly give her a sharp spank.

The back of a woman’s neck is actually one of her more potent erogenous zones. Kissing her softly on the back of the neck is sure to give her goosebumps all over, but what she won’t be prepared for is the firm spank on her rear. Surprise her with a firm smack or two and gauge her reaction. You’ll see the surprise there, but you’ll definitely notice how much more turned on she is because you did something she didn’t see coming. She’ll be just as surprised when you switch to kissing her softly again!

2. Have rough, dominant doggy style sex, then suddenly switch to the missionary position and start slowly and gently making love to her.

If you and your lover are going at it doggy style, she’ll think that you’re going to finish that way and that will be that. Instead, flip her over and start to pleasure her with soft, slow sex. When she’s had an orgasm or two, switch back to rough sex and show her your dominant side!

3. Use a two-sided “flogger” (a sex toy with a hard surface on one side and a soft, tickly surface on the other) and gently tickle her body with the soft side and switch to spanking her firmly with the hard side.

When you alternate between two different touches – one hard and firm, and the other soft – you are sending two different sensations and emotions through your lover’s body. She’ll be incredibly turned on by feeling cherished while you tickle and stroke her, to feeling submissive while you dominate her with a firm touch. Alternating back and forth during foreplay (in a completely random way) will keep her guessing and what she’s going to feel next!

5 Sex Secrets He’d Die From If You Found Out

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Sex secrets are the cream de la cream of secrets in a relationship. There are a lot of guys that are into some very out of the norm stuff and if you ever found out, they just might kill over from it. The thing about male sex secrets is that they aren’t as obscure as you might think. Many straight men are turned on by things that are traditionally considered a little effeminate. So if you want to know some sex secrets that are extremely common with straight men, here is a short list.

Sex Secret #1: He’s A Cuckold

A cuckold is a special breed of man. Cuckolding is essentially when a man is in a relationship with a woman and gets turned on by another guy having sex with her. This usually happens in front of the boyfriend or husband. Cuckolding is very popular in the swinger community, but it’s also something that he will probably never admit to. Guys that don’t have the nerve to tell their wives or girlfriends about this fantasy usually masturbate to the thought of it. If you believe that your guy is a cuckold and you’re okay with it, you might want to approach him with this thought. What seemed to be his unbearable sex secret could turn out to be something that you both enjoy.

Sex Secret #2: Cross-Dressing

Cross-dressing is another sex secret that is very common among men. This is more of a fetish that he doesn’t want you to know about. Every straight man likes to see their wives or girlfriends in lingerie, but the cross-dresser secretly wants to engage in the lingerie himself. If you ever find that your panties, bra or other clothing is not where you left it, you might need to have a chat with your guy. While cross-dressing is not something that is completely out of the ordinary, it can put a strain on the relationship. Some women really like that their man puts on their clothes whereas others get very weirded out by it. Talking to your guy about his secret fantasies can alleviate any embarrassment associated with cross-dressing.

Sex Secret #3: Domination

Domination is a very common sex secret that men have. Whether it’s that he wants to dominate you or he wants you to dominate him, having this fantasy can be extremely hot or extremely lackluster unless you know what you’re doing. If you think that your guy really likes dominating you, make it clear that you think it’s hot too. If you think that he gets turned on more by you dominating him, make an effort to help him fulfill his fantasy. Be a little rougher with him during sex. Order him around. Make him tell you how sexy you are. Whatever he needs to get turned on. Having communication is essential for a relationship and it’s hard to make him completely happy if you’re not up front about wanting to know what he likes in bed.

Sex Secret #4: Prostate Massages

The male prostate is said to be the equivalent of the female g-spot. However, there is a perception that a man having something put up his butt is gay. The fact of the matter is that prostate massages are getting very popular with men. If your man lets off a shriek of delight when you start to go near his anus he might have a secret fantasy of getting a prostate massage. If this is something that you would be interested in doing, you might want to ask him about it. Guys are very open to doing things that are a little questionable with women they feel comfortable with. And you might just be the one that he opens up to about his secret sex fantasy.

Sex Secret #5: He Wants To Do It In Public

Exhibitionism is another very common sex fantasy among men. The fact that he secretly wants to take you in public shows that he’s not ashamed of your body or his own. If he has been beating around the bush about taking you in public, consider this a compliment. There is a certain element of danger associated with having sex in public and this is something that he thrives on. Having sex in a public place can be very hot and very spontaneous, but you need to be comfortable with it. Some men do not have the confidence to fulfill this fantasy so they will need an extra push in the right direction. If you feel comfortable enough to do this for him, you might just have a lifelong relationship on your hands.

4 Myths About Bondage

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Bondage is gaining popularity, but there are many misconceptions about it. Check out these four untruths you didn’t know about bondage.

Bondage is pleasure-inflicting, fun and, most of all, safe, as long as you’re both aware of your roles and never cross the line.

The bound person finds it exciting because it provides him/her the opportunity to be ‘lazy’ but get all the attention at the same time; the only thing he or she has to do is relax and enjoy what his or her partner has in stall for the evening.

There is also the pleasure of suspense, of waiting to see what is going to happen next, where the dominator will decide to touch and how he is going to do it. Consensual, agreed on bondage gives the one that is dominated a paradox of feelings, which is quite enthusiastically perceived by the lovers of such a sexual activity; it puts you in state of vulnerability, but also gives you security, because the one that is doing it is a loved and trustworthy person. It’s a sort of a calm and serene surrender. A surrender that engenders new heights of sexual arousal.

For the one that does the ‘bonding’ however, it’s more about power in its purest physical and psychological form. No one else but you is really in charge in this particular erotic scenario. The visual appeal of having complete control over the other, tying him or her up and listening to him or her begging for ‘mercy’ is undeniable. His or her body is there for you to tease and please as you see fit.

Since I’m pretty much assuming that you’re aroused by now by the mere thought of trying it as soon as possible, I’ve put together a few comments and explanation so that you don’t fail from the first try, and, most importantly, don’t hurt anybody in the process, either physically or emotionally.

1. It’s Perverted

People involved in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) aren’t perverts who enjoy harming others, this is a prejudice older than Buddha and it makes me mad whenever I see that there are still people who think like that. Every couple can experiment with bondage if they are determined to change the “vanilla” setting of their love life with something hotter and spicier. Exploring your sexuality is something to be desired, not ostracized.

2. The Toys Are Violent

In itself, no sex toy is ever violent or abusive. The way you choose to use them can be, though. If you spank your girlfriend or tie her to the bed without her initial consent, then you’re in deep trouble mister, but you don’t need me to tell you that. If your action and intention are harmless, the toy is too. If you use it carefully and how it should be used, the only “violence” you’ll get is that of your partner’s orgasm.

3. It’s Addictive

People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies become addicted to their own behavior, whatever that behavior is. Bondage is not an illness or a drug, to become addicted to. If you have a fetish for this kind of sexual activity, it’s normal to want to do it more often than not, and if your partner consents to it or likes it just as much as you, bondage can be explored for as long as you like, without being considered to be an addiction.

4. People Who Like It Were Abused

Bondage is not a crime and people who want to experiment with it should not be made to feel guilty about it. As long as you are well informed about it, take responsibility for your pleasure and not listen to traditional authoritarian voices that belong to the past.

How To Introduce Her To Kinky Sex

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Kinky sex can be lots of fun, but some girls have never tried it. Getting your lover into kinky sex isn’t difficult, but you want to approach it the right way.

The fashion of the more risqué among us has spilled out into everyday culture, with corsets and leather collars becoming almost mainstream. Having said that, most of my clients and friends are curious but aren’t sure how to incorporate a bit of ‘spice’ to their sex lives, even though we’re surrounded by sexy messages on a daily basis.

The Recipe

There are a variety of things to try when it comes to getting frisky with your partner: spanking, bondage, role-playing, or sensation play (like hot wax or ice cubes) are just a few. But the biggest difficulty isn’t in deciding what to do, but rather, how to broach it with your partner. Even if you’ve been together for a long time and trust each other, it’s a scary thing to suggest something new that may not go over well.

Before you broach the subject, applaud yourself for connecting with your sexual being and learning more about what turns you on. In today’s society, that’s a challenging thing in and of itself. Once you’ve patted yourself on the back, try these ideas to get going:

Talk It Out

You don’t need to make the conversation into ‘The Talk’ by blurting out you need to tell her some big secret. Instead, go about it gently, from a different angle. Share what turns you on with your partner on a regular basis. Tell her what makes you hot, and what it is she does that makes you dizzy with arousal. By chatting about sex more frequently, you’ll open the lines of communication so that when you are ready to take another step, you’ll feel more comfortable and at ease.

Dirty Minds Think Alike

Write down the craziest, funniest, sexiest things you’ve heard of, and then draw lines down the page for several categories, like “never in a million years,” or “maybe with some prodding,” or even “I’ve never thought of it, but sure, I’ll try it.” This is a fun game to discover lots of sexual interests you never knew you shared.

Media Sharing

Pick a storyline that explores something you’re curious about sharing with your partner, and be observant of her reaction. Sometimes it’s easier to broach the subject when it’s not coming right at you, and then you can discuss what you thought was hot, and a total turn off, in turn.

Create A Safeword

When folks in the kink community negotiate a spicy interaction, they create a safeword to be shared amongst the participants. Basically, a safeword is something that you wouldn’t normally say in a sexual encounter such as “purple elephant” that tells your partner you need to stop. Some folks just use colors to explain what they are feeling, such as red for stop and yellow for go slower or more gently please.

Start With Baby Steps

Even if what you have in mind is a huge production, and you’ve played out every variation for more than a decade in your mind, you don’t want to start with the whole shebang right away. Start simply, with just one aspect of the concept that gets you going. See how you both feel after, and then decide if you want to do it again, try something different, or incorporate more of the sexual fantasy into your playtime.

50 Shades Of Grey – The TRUTH About “Girl” Porn

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50 Shades Of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time – and you’ve likely heard about the darker sexual plot. Is erotica about to become mainstream?

Scores of women, all over the world are obsessed with 50 Shades Of Grey – an S&M related erotic thriller. It’s given birth to an entirely new genre of literature: “girl porn.” But what does that mean, exactly? What does it mean to women? To men? More importantly, what does it mean to you?

Sorry, It’s Not “New”

The whole “girl porn” thing isn’t new. Books like “My secret garden” have told stories of female centered erotica for years, and the concept is as old as time itself. It’s just becoming more and more prevalent and mainstream. Why? Part of it is feminism, partly due to relaxing social attitudes towards sex and sexuality, but mostly it’s due to one thing: technology. It used to be if you were a woman and you wanted to get your girl porn on, you had to buy a book, and carry that book around wherever you wanted to go and read it.

Everyone likes a little naughty reading time, but nobody wants to really be outed as doing it. Enter smartphones. And tablets. Amazon and Apple sell the tablets simply to drive purchases of digital content through the mediums they rule with an iron fist. conspiracy theories aside, this allows you to buy as much girl porn as you can stand, read it wherever you like and no one will no about it.

You might be asking yourself “Tony, are you saying that woman on the subway who looked way too happy to be there was getting her girl porn on? Am I really to believe that she was reading 50 Shades Of Grey?” Yes grasshopper. She was and you should. The explosion that is 50 Shades of Grey is directly related to the explosion of iPads, Kindle Fires, iPhones, Android phones, android tablets, and the like.

Girls Like It Dirty!

Here’s another truth: women are dirty. They talk dirty and they want dirty things. Chris Rock has this joke: “your woman is nastier and dirtier and more sexual than you ever imagined. She’s dying to do it. But anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Women have always been this sexual. They’ve always been into porn. They are just into a different kind of porn than men are. Don’t believe that women are pervs too? Two words: Magic Mike. Women losing their minds over have naked shirtless men who are ripped and in great shape. They eat that up. Literally.

Women have always been massively sensual creatures, but they’ve been bread to repress that. Times are changing. That repression is being peeled away layer by layer. Thanks to technology and the internet, women in particular have access to any kind of sex and relationship type they could possibly want, and access to any kind of girl porn they want. They know it’s out there, and that helps them know that it’s okay, whatever that it is.

The Domination Factor

50 Shades Of Grey also reveals and increasing desire for women to be submissive and dominated. Often the women who exhibit the strongest desire to be dominated in the bedroom are the ones who are most dominant outside of it. It may seem a bit screwy, but it’s not. It actually makes quite a bit of sense when you think about it.

There is so much pressure on women today, most of it put on women by themselves and other women. They are obligated to “have it all” whatever that means. They are earning more than ever, having more responsibilities than ever. There’s an ever increasing number of roles women are having to play and as they take many of the leadership and powerful roles that men have traditionally played, they begin to feel the same pressures.

With all the hats women wear today, it’s no wonder that they want to throw them all off (in addition to their clothes). Being submissive allows you to surrender control and not have to worry about anything. You can use it as an excuse to give into any number of secret sex related desires you’ve long held (orgies, swinging, anal sex, lesbianism, bondage, etc), and in your mind you’re totally in the clear because you were “forced” to do it, but really, that isn’t true at all.

You were simply creating a scenario where you could finally allow yourself to have the kind of pleasure you’ve long desired, but do it in a way that’s safe for your mind and body. And for a woman, that’s an incredibly appealing proposition. That’s what these girl porn books offer.