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Q&A: What To Do If She’s Only In It For The Sex

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Men often get a bad rap for being in a relationship only for the sex and women get stuck being the “booty call.” But truth be told, some women will actually do the same thing to men and turn the man into the “booty call” instead of wanting a real relationship. It’s actually not that uncommon for a single, independent woman to want to be with a man simply for the great sex. What are the signs that she is, in fact, only in it for the sex and what should you do if she is?

Question: What should I do if it looks like the girl I’m dating is with me just for sex?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07gOFfWshus[/youtube]

What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

If you suspect that your girl is with you simply for the sex, stop and think about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for a relationship that is sex only, or are you looking for something more serious? Do you want a long term relationship or do you want a casual relationship that involves a friendship in addition to sex? Stopping to define what you want in a relationship at this stage in your life is essential in figuring out if you want to stay in this particular relationship or not. If your girl is in it only for the sex and you want a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling relationship, you might want to consider moving on and dating other people. On the other hand, however, stop and consider that while you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship with your current girl, are you satisfied for the time being? If you would end up being single anyways and spending your time masturbating instead of having sex, why not continue to stay in a sex-only relationship until you meet someone you are interested in starting a real relationship with? If your girl really is in it only for the sex, she won’t mind you keeping your eyes peeled for someone who can better meet your needs.

Signs That She’s Just Looking For Sex

If you’re not sure that she’s just in it for the sex but you have your suspicions, there are many ways to find out. The way she acts towards you and her behaviors will definitely clue you in if she just wants sex from you and nothing else. In fact, these are the same types of behaviors that guys exhibit when they’re with a girl that they just consider to be a “booty call.” Your girl may not call you for days after having sex with you, but will call you again out of the blue if she wants more. She may call you only at night, or very late at night if she’s been out partying or hanging out with friends. She won’t want to hang out with you and may make excuses if you want to take her to dinner or take her to a game. She may hide her relationship with you from her friends, acting like she is “just friends” with you when you and her are together in front of them. When you are alone with her, however, she may act completely different towards you. She may bring up sex a lot in conversations with you and her, or she may just flat out put the moves on you when you first walk in her door. She may ask you to leave after sex instead of offering to let you stay the night or she may leave your house rather than asking to stay.

What To Do If You Want More Than Just Sex

If you are really wanting more out of this relationship than sex, talk to your girl. Let her know that you’re not getting what you need. Let her know that you really like her and that you want to be more than just a “booty call” to her. In some cases, a girl will assume that the man just wants sex with her so she tries to be what he wants. She may be surprised to hear that you want more than just sex and that you actually want a relationship! Don’t break up with her or end the relationship before talking to your girl and being completely honest with her. If you really like this girl, it would be a shame to let her go because of a simple miscommunication! If she really does want just sex though, and you’re not into that, move on because there are lots of other girls that would love to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship along with a sexual one.

Q&A: Is My Boyfriend Only In It For The Sex?

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When you’re in a sexual relationship with someone, things can get complicated. Lots of questions can come up, and many of them can be difficult to discuss with your partner. If your partner wants to have sex all the time, it might make you wonder if your partner is only in it for the sex, or do they really enjoy your company? How can you tell?

Question: I think my current boyfriend may be in it only for the sex (everyone says he’s a sex addict). The first month was amazing and now it’s just like he only wants to hang if we are going to have sex. How can I tell if he’s just into it for the sex?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGFhxxmRw2g[/youtube]

Does A High Sex Drive Mean They Don’t Love You?

In this situation, it’s important not to confuse your partner having a high sex drive with their feelings for you. If your partner has a high sex drive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t enjoy spending time with you if you’re not having sex. Your partner may just have a large sexual appetite. Ask yourself this – does your partner only want to spend time with you if he knows that sex will be involved or does he simply want to have sex with you when you’re together? If it’s the latter, it doesn’t mean he wants you only for sex – it just means that he really likes having sex with you!

Listen To Your Gut

It can be difficult to distinguish whether your partner wants you just for sex or just really likes having sex with you a lot. No one can tell you the answer to this question – it’s something you have to find out yourself. Listen to your gut and follow your instincts. How does he act when you’re together and not having sex? What does he say when he’s away from you? Try letting your partner know that you want to have a date or spend time with him where there’s no sex involved, because you really enjoy his company. What is his reaction? Just be careful not to place blame on him or criticize him while you’re still trying to find out what his true motives are. If he really does care for you, finding out that you think he’s only in it for the sex might be very hurtful to him.  

If He’s In It For The Sex

If you find out that your partner is just in it for the sex, consider letting him go and moving on – just make sure that you’re confident that he’s only in the relationship for sex or you might be giving up a relationship with someone who truly cares about you. However, if you’re really sure that he only wants sex, don’t stay with him because you think you won’t meet anyone else or because you think youll be able to make him care for you. There are many people out there who will want to have a fulfilling relationship with you, sexually and emotionally.

Is He Really in Love or Are you Just a Fling?

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All too often women think they’re dating, yet sadly in their man’s mind they’re just a fling. Ouch!

So how do you know for sure if you’re on the way to a relationship rather than just hooking up? You face what you are actually getting from your man.

So how do you take steps to make sure you are actually on the way to a relationship and not just his latest fling?

Here are 5 ways to know for sure!

5 Signs that you are just his fling!

  1. Your man excludes your name when he talks about future events. Or he regularly talks about his future plans as “I will be doing this,” rather than “we will be doing this.”
  2. You haven’t met any of your man’s close friends or family members. If he’s not showing you off, he’s hiding you.
  3. You only see each other late at night or in private. If you mostly see your man at his place or late at night, then you are a secret affair and most likely there is another woman in the picture.
  4. Your man rarely calls you in advance. And when he does call it’s to get together immediately or the same day. If he’s calling you at the last minute you are far from his first choice!
  5. You man is only interested in sex. If your time together is nothing but rolling between the sheets and he rarely asks you questions about your life and ambitions, then you are just a fling.

    5 Signs he thinks of you as his girlfriend!

    1. Your man regularly includes you in talk of future plans—be it a concert, vacation, company party or family event. If he discusses upcoming events in his life and talks as though you will be there, he considers you someone he is dating.
    2. Your man has introduced you to close friends and family members. He is proud of you and enjoys involving you the lives of people important to him.
    3. Your man takes you out on real dates where he is actually spending money on you and being seen with you in pubic.
    4. Your man calls you often and asks you out at least two days in advance.
    5. Your man actually asks about your life, goals and dreams then listens to your answers. If he is investing time in getting to know you more than trying to jump in your pants, then he is pursuing a relationship with you.

    Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

    Help! I’m A Booty Call AND The Sex Is Lousy!

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    Booty Call: “Calling someone or meeting with them purely for the sake of having sex“.

    Have you ever been a booty call? Would you recognize if you were?

    We all like to think that the person were seeing loves us, or at least likes us a lot. It’s really heartbreaking when we realize that we’re worth nothing more than sex to them.

    Even if it’s great sex, it can still be heartbreaking to realize that you’re only a Booty Call…

    When the sex is bad, it’s enough to make you go insane!

    Dear Dan and Jennifer,

    I’m 48, widow, dating a 58 years old guy who’s been married 32 years for 7 months now. Sex isn’t great but I really like – love him. Am I nuts?

    We work for an airline and I see him every week.  He has shared his past affairs with me. His wife has a million dollar inheritance, he hates her but the money is important. He keeps saying that he wants me…but while in Paris, when I confided that I felt like I was falling in love with him…he said he wasn’t as “into” me, as his past affairs….? However, as soon as we arrived back in the States, he wanted me to stay with him in his hotel… I said no and went home…..   HELP!!!

    — Chris, VA

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsVS5gOuNts[/youtube]

    Can You Say Booty Call?

    So, here’s this guy who supposedly likes you, but ironically, the only time he calls you is for an out of town rendezvous to have sex. This is the definition of a “Booty Call”.

    You may think you’ll love this guy, but it’s time for you to realize that you are only one thing to him… you are his Booty Call. PERIOD!!!

    There’s only one piece of advice that we can give you. DUMP HIM! NOW!

    Love is a two way street. Waiting for this guy to turn around and start loving you back is a complete waste of your time.

    Make Room For A Two-Sided Relationship

    It’s time to make room in your life for a two-sided relationship.

    We all deserve someone who will love and respect us in return. There is absolutely no reason to waste your time with someone who is only using you. And this guy is obviously using you…

    Now, having said that, if you don’t mind being a Booty Call and meeting this guy simply to have sex, then that’s fine, but recognize it for what it is…

    In this situation however, the sex isn’t even that good.

    This guy is obviously a total loser. He’s staying with his wife because she has a million dollar inheritance. You’re not his first affair. He’s just lame.

    So run, run like the wind!!!

    Rock Star Syndrome – Are You In Love With Him or the IDEA of Him?

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    Every little girl grows up wanting to be a beautiful princess. So is it any wonder that young girls are so attracted to rock stars, movie stars, and pop idols?

    After all, they’re waiting for their gorgeous prince to ride in and rescue them, after which they’ll fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And in today’s world, these guys are the closest thing they’ll find to a prince.

    She thinks it’s true love. But what happens when this young woman figures out she’s not going to be his princess… and then realizes he’s got a princess in every city?

    Here’s a question from a lady in Jamaica who’s enamored with someone famous and exotic, but she’s afraid she’s going to make a mistake taking their relationship too seriously and having a baby with him!

    Dear Dan and Jennifer,

    I am currently seeing someone who is part of an entourage of someone who is famous. I’m not expecting much from the relationship because I know he has girls throwing themselves at him daily. But, he brings out a certain side of me that I didn’t know existed – I feel ‘free’ when I’m with him.

    The last time we were together he asked me a very shocking question. He asked if and when I’m ready to have a child if I would have his child. I really do not know what to do about this crazy relationship.

    I try to stop from thinking about him but I am unsuccessful. Is something wrong with me for wanting this type of man?

    — Shauna, Jamaica

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBFvWk8dKGI[/youtube]

    Embrace How You Feel. There’s Nothing Wrong With You!

    It’s OK to feel absolutely any way that you feel. Always embrace your feelings and accept them, but also understand where they’re coming from.

    Being enamored with someone who has a life you can only dream of is very common, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just understand this adoration for what it truly is.

    Do You Love Him or the IDEA of HIM?

    He says he loves you, and you say you love him.

    But the most important thing is to separate the man from the overwhelming essence of freedom, power, and glory. Love the man, not the clothes, the cars, the money, the fortune, the fame. That’s his life, not yours. And it can end as abruptly as it started.

    Having a love affair with his image will only leave you empty and feeling cheated when it’s over.

    Can You Have a Family with a Man Like This?

    Sure you can, but only if you’re fully ready and willing to be a single mom. The free spirit that so attracts you today is NOT “settle down and have a family” material; quite the contrary. Sure there are exceptions, but it normally doesn’t work that way.

    You want a family and children with this man? Great. Get together and stay together for a few years. Get married, or not, whatever your preference, and figure out if your love is true. But get close, live your lives together, and then decide if you still truly want to be together for the long run. Only then should you consider bringing children into the world together.

    Before that time, you have no way to know if he’ll be around. You’ll still be guessing, but at least it’ll be an educated guess.

    How to Set Your Expectations

    Is it possible to be in love with someone like this? Absolutely!

    But be wary of setting expectations until you fully understand the situation. Base your plans on what is truly there, not on wishful thinking and excitement.

    By all means enjoy your life and your times together, and have great fun. And let the relationship grow and evolve at it’s own pace. Don’t try to “lock it in” with marriage or (much worse) by having a child.