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Orgasm Tips: How To Build Her Orgasm In 3 Phases

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For women, achieving orgasm is a process, and a fun one at that.  Foreplay is an essential part of reaching orgasm for a woman. All of the kissing, touching, licking, and caressing are vital parts of sex for the fairer sex, not just stuff you do until you cum. She feels intense delight at the touch of your lips and the stroke of your finger tips.

In fact, there are instances where a woman enjoys the sexual experience, even if she hasn’t climaxed. The more you make a woman feel like she’s special, like you’re really into her and that you’re super turned on by her, the more she will enjoy having sex without without having an orgasm. However, those instances are few and far between, so it’s best if you know how to make give a woman the climax of her life.

There is not a single technique that will absolutely guarantee your woman’s satisfaction, but rather a building of mood and touch that eventually send her over the edge.  Since there’s no “right” way to do it that applies to all women, it’s a bit of a difficult concept for men to grasp, since a warm vagina, or even a fist full of hand lotion, is all it really takes to get where you need to be. Perhaps a better understanding of the phases a woman goes through to reach orgasm is in order.

Phase I: The Beginning

This is the part when she just decided she wants to have sex with you.  When she reaches this stage, her breathing is slightly heavier than normal, and her pulse has quickened.  This can happen at any time – even without you knowing that she wants to have sex with you. That’s why paying attention to her body language is so important! If you notice that she seems to be more “into” you, has started touching you softly or licking her lips, some serious making out just may be in order at this point. While you’re kissing her, let your hands wander all over her body.

Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her back, and even get in a bit of nipple play. If your hands head south of the border, avoid direct contact with her clitoris. Make sure you use slow, gentle strokes. Rubbing your palm slowly and deeply over her vaginal lips is a great way to give her a hint of what’s to come without irritating the parts of her vagina that are ultra sensitive.

Phase II: The Build-Up

Now things are really getting heated up. Her breathing has turned into almost a pant, and she’s probably let out some audible moans.  When she’s in this phase, you can make more direct contact with the clitoris, but don’t just hang out there.  Tease your partner by keeping more indirect contact going, brushing the head of the clitoris every once in a while. Rub the sides of her clitoris along the shaft, and then pinch the head lightly with the pads of your fingers.

Make sure that either your fingers are lubed up before you touch her, or that she’s very wet and you can use her natural lubrication to wet your fingers. Touching her clitoris with hard, dry fingers isn’t going to feel good to her at all. A dab of lube will go a long way here. If you don’t want to finger her, these same concepts can be applied to oral sex as well.

You can also vary strokes and speeds at this point. You may want to rub the head of the clitoris in a circular motion at a high frequency, and then slowly rub the shaft up and down. Experiment with different strokes and play around with her – listen to her cues to let you know which strokes she likes the most.

Phase III: The Big Finish

Phase III is typically signaled by her screaming, “Faster! Faster!”  Now is not the time to mess around or change what you’re doing. Whatever it was that you were doing when she reached this phase is the exact same thing you need to do to finish her up. Some guys get the idea that they need to try something else – for example, when a woman gets closer to orgasm, he may decide that instead of flicking the head of the clitoris with his tongue, that he’s going to lick slowly around her labia. Resist the temptation to change what you’re doing!

Get in there, and get the job done! Zero in on that one spot, and rub it like you mean it. Use quick, circular motions right on the head of the clitoris until you hear her scream in ecstasy! If you don’t change what you’re doing when she starts to enter the third phase and keep at it, following her directions for harder, softer, faster, etc., you’ll bring her to climax in no time.

How To Give Multiple Orgasms Like A Porn Star

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Multiple orgasms are considered the “holy grail” of sex for women – if you can give her more than one, you’re golden. Porn stars are often looked at as “sex gurus” – and in a way, they are. They do it A LOT more than the average person. Adult films are known for featuring some of the hottest women on earth, but they aren’t just about showcasing women who look good on camera.

The people who are able to make a career in the adult industry are all known being abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING in bed. The top porn stars in the world are better at giving their partners incredibly intense orgasms than just about anybody out there.

Can You Have A Porn Star Sex Life?

Now, just because you might never be receiving an award at the AVN, doesn’t mean you can’t have the sex life of a porn star. Here are several very powerful ways to give your partner multiple orgasms BEFORE you penetrate her, using only your fingers.

So how do you give your partner incredible, body-shaking orgasms with nothing but your fingers? Simple, just keep reading, and take notes.

Women can have many kinds of orgasms, but today we are going to focus on two kinds: Clitoral, and G-spot orgasms. First, you are going to learn how to make her cum by each one individually, and then I’m going to show you how to combine them for something so explosive, she very well may pop your ear drums from screaming so loudly.

Clitoral Orgasms

Doctors and other sex education experts have all agreed that a woman’s clitoris was designed solely for sexual pleasure. So being able to stimulate it properly is a great way to make her shake and moan for more.

In order to locate her clitoris, take your middle finger and starting at the opening of her vagina, slowly work your way up a bit, until you feel something that feels like a tiny knot. This, my friend is her clit, and all of the thousands of amazing nerve endings in it will thank you for finding it.

Now, start to slowly make small circles with your finger on her clit (either clock-wise or counter clock-wise, it’s up to you). Once you have a nice comfortable and even pace, you’ll very quickly notice her body shaking and her breathing pattern changing. Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Too many men change up their technique, and this absolutely ruins the experience for women.

You should also keep in mind that the lighter you touch her clitoris, the better. Since she is so sensitive there, touching her any harder then you would touch your laptops track pad, could very easily hurt her and ruin the experience. Just this one simple technique alone can give just about any woman multiple orgasms, very quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

First of all, the G-spot isn’t actually a “spot,” it’s actually an entire area located approximately 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper vaginal wall (on her stomach side, instead of the anus side).

So while your partner is lying on her back, insert your middle finger in to her vagina, with your palm facing upwards. Stroke your finger along her upper vaginal wall until you find something that feels like a ribbed surface, similar to the inside of your mouth, right behind your top row of front teeth.

Congratulations, you’ve now done something that most men will never do. You’ve found the G-spot! And now that you know where it is, it’s time to learn how to simulate it properly.

With her laying on her back, and you kneeling in front of her, with your middle and ring or pointer fingers touching her G-spot, you are going to want to use a “come over here” motion.

One thing you need to watch out for is the amount of pressure you use when fingering your partner. Most men are very strong, and don’t realize just how much they are using. Remember to be gentle when you are stimulating a woman’s G-spot, because it’s hard for us to enjoy what you’re doing, if is uncomfortable.

How To Tell If She’s Digging It

Okay, so how do you know that you’re woman is really enjoying it? Well asides from the moaning, screaming, body shaking, and her digging her mails in to you; you should pay close attention to her breathing patterns.

If her breathing seems a little erratic, and almost as if she’s panting, then that’s a great clue that you are doing a good job; but you can do even better.

The Ultimate Fingering Orgasm

If you can perfect those two techniques, you will be able to do what 95% of men cannot do – give her a blended orgasm.

If you think about it, combining both techniques should be pretty straightforward right? While your partner is lying on her back, you would use your dominant hand to stimulate her G-spot while simultaneously using your other hand to make those tiny circles on her clitoris.

Well, like most of life’s greatest pleasures, this is a bit trickier then you would think.

Since you are using both of your hands to perform different tasks, the brain has a very difficult time processing both things at the same time. If you have ever tried to play the drums, you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to get this technique down perfectly is to practice, practice, practice. I highly recommend waiting until you are alone in your house to do this. Start by using a pillow as if it was a woman. Lay it down flat on either your bed or couch and imagine that it is your partner’s body.

Start with the clitoris technique for a few minutes, and then switch to the G-spot one. Once you feel comfortable enough, try to do them both at the same time. Most people will find this very frustration at first, but don’t worry. Star very slowly, and then gradually speed up a little.

If you practice this for 10-15 minutes a day, you should have no time mastering it within a couple of days (a week at the most). And then think about how amazing of a feeling it will be to know that you are one of the few people alive with the ability to give virtually any woman you want simultaneous multiple orgasms BEFORE penetration?

10 Titillating Sex Toys Under $10

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Sex toys don’t have to be expensive to be fun. Whether you’re by yourself or with a partner, you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg just to get a decent sex toy. Heat it up between you and your lover with these ten great sex toys all under ten bucks!

Purrfect Pets Tickle Me Dolphin

A cock ring and a vibrator all in one, the Purrfect Pets Tickle Me Dolphin is a great couples’ sex toy. The cock ring portion of the product will keep his erection rock hard, while the vibrator will stimulate the woman’s clitoris and help bring her to an incredible orgasm. This is a must-have for couples who struggle with erectile dysfunction or difficulty reaching orgasm. It’s also available in other shapes for more excitement, including a “Buzz Bunny” and a “Buzzy Butterfly.”

Crystal Jellies 6″ Anal Starter

Lots of couples want to get into anal sex, but they’re not exactly sure where to start. Sex toys built specifically for beginner’s anal play are probably your best bet, and the Crystal Jellies 6″ Anal Starter definitely fits the bill. It’s small and slim, so it’s perfect for guys and girls who are just starting out. At it’s thinnest point, this product is about 1/2″ wide, and at it’s widest, it’s barely 1″. When you’ve never done anal insertion before, smaller is definitely better when you’re just getting into it.

Sugar Lips Nipple Gloss

Guys love breasts, so why not make yours noticeable with a swipe of nipple gloss before sex? It also works on your lips too – and wherever you put Sugar Lips Nipple Gloss, you’re going to feel a tingly, plumping sensation. Not only does it make your lips and nipples look ultra kissable, the taste is super sweet. Try flavors like Lick My Strawberry, Kiss My Cinnabuns, Cock n’ Candy, Whip Me Cream and Pump Me Colada.

Tenga Eggs

For guys on the go, this uniquely designed masturbation sleeve is a huge hit. Packed in an egg like container, the soft silicone masturbation sleeve includes it’s own package of lube to be used with the sleeve. Tenga Eggs come in tons of different styles and textures, such as Twister, Clicker, Stepper, Wavy, Spider and Silky. Each egg feels totally different during masturbation! The downside to this sex toy is that it is disposable – you can only use it one time (really, you should only use it one time) before throwing it away.

Tongue Teaser

While oral sex is always fantastic by itself, you can add some great feeling vibrations to the mix with the Tongue Teaser. The soft jelly toy slips over the tongue and vibrates. This is an especially great toy for men who want to please women who have difficulty reaching orgasm orally. A snug band makes sure this product doesn’t slip off the tongue, no matter how wet and wild things get! It also runs for about forty minutes, so that gives you plenty of time for orgasmic pleasure.

Sterling Sleeves

Sterling Sleeves are soft, stretchy silicone sleeves that fit over the penis and are designed to be used during sex. They can help make your penis just a little bit longer, and usually the textured outsides stimulate a woman’s g-spot in just the right way. If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to have (or give) a g-spot orgasm, try slipping on a Sterling Sleeve. The extra sensations may be exactly what she needs to push her over the edge.

Frisky Fingers Clitoris Vibrator

Every girl needs a small, discreet and easy to use finger vibrator that fits nicely over the clitoris. Sometimes, a girl just wants to get the job done and a Frisky Fingers Clitoris Vibrator will do just that. It slides over the finger and the soft silicone nubs feel amazing in conjunction with the vibrations. It’s quiet, so you can even throw it in your purse and take it anywhere!

Astroglide Strawberry Lubricant

Whether you’re having sex au natural or using sex toys, lube is definitely a must have. But why should lube – especially when used with a condom – smell and taste like rubber, plastic and chemicals? Astroglide Strawberry Lubricant combines Astroglide’s popular lube formula with a great strawberry flavor, so you can smell and taste great during sex.

Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Furry Cuffs

If you’ve never tried bondage before – or have and loved it – a pair of soft, furry handcuffs are indispensable. Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Furry Cuffs are strong yet soft, so you can have fun locking your partner up and having your way with them! They do have a quick release mechanism that you can use if things get too intense or if you or your partner lose the key. Comes in black or white.

Sportsheets Rubber O-Rings

If you want an inexpensive pack of basic rubber cock rings in different sizes, Sportsheets Rubber O-Rings are exactly what you’re looking for. No frills, just plain black rubber in a variety of different sizes to accommodate both a large and small penis size. You can also use them with harnesses that have straps – just don’t forget to use lube so you can slide the O-Ring off easily when you’re finished.

10 Beginner’s Sex Toys You’ve GOT To Have (If You’re A Novice)

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Sex toys can be intimidating if you’ve never used them before. This is especially true for virgin girls who wish to masturbate but aren’t sure what kind of product to get, or for men who have never used masturbating sleeves or other “toys for boys” before and aren’t sure where to begin. If you’re just starting to use sex toys, here are the ones you definitely want to try!

Lots Of Lube

Lube is extremely important to use when playing with sex toys. In fact, it’s also great to use during sex but many people that haven’t made the foray into sex toys have never tried using lube before either! Whether you’re having sex with a partner or masturbating with a vibrator, even just a dab of lube will make things slip and slide much better. Of course, the wetter the better so lots of lube is preferred, especially with anal sex!

Recommendation: Astroglide! It’s basic, easy to use and has been used for years. It’s an all around great lube to use that is safe for both sex toys and use with condoms.

A Masturbation Sleeve

Every guy starts out masturbating with their own hand, and many guys still do. If you haven’t discovered how really great masturbating with a sex toy is, you’re in for a real treat. Try slipping your penis into a lubed up masturbation sleeve before your self-love session and see what a difference it makes! You can get all kinds of sleeves to satisfy whatever desires you have, whether you’re into lots of texture or something really nice and tight. Masturbation will never be the same again!

Recommendation: Climax Gems Crystal Hand Job Stroker. It’s a great way to start using a masturbation sleeve if you’ve never used one before, especially since some of the more “anatomically correct” strokers can seem a little intimidating at first. This one is extra ribbed for pleasure too!

A Slender Vibrator

Women that have never used a vibrator inside before will definitely want to try something small and slender at first. A slender vibrator doesn’t hurt going in when used with lube – even for many virgins – and the torpedo design will reach the g-spot in no time. This is a great product to start out with when you’re just beginning to use sex toys during penetration.

Recommendation: 5″ Grrl Toyz Waterproof Slimstick. This is a great vibrator for women who are interested in trying insertion during masturbation or couples play but don’t want to start with a giant dildo. It’s slim design is great for even very small women or virgins.

A Clitoris Vibrator

Most girls start out rubbing their clitoris with their fingers or palms when they first start to masturbate. This is because the clitoris is packed with over 8,000 sensitive nerve endings and is responsible for most women’s orgasms. Many women prefer to masturbate with a clitoris vibrator, even if they’ve had sex before or masturbated with a vibrator or dildo designed for insertion. Using a vibrator on the clitoris can induce very intense, very powerful orgasms!

Recommendation: Ophoria Finger Vibe – 3″. Every girl needs to start out with a clitoris vibrator, especially if she’s a virgin. Women can reach orgasm most often through clitoral stimulation, so this can even be a great toy to use with a partner as well. It fits easily on the finger and also comes in a variety of fun, bright colors.

A Traveling Vibrator

Once you get into using sex toys, you’re going to want to take them wherever you go. Especially for those long business trips away from your partner where you know you’ll be “flying solo” so to speak! But if you’re flying, or even driving for that matter, you don’t necessarily want to take your most conspicuous vibrator in case your luggage gets checked. A travel safe vibrator is a must have for women on the go.

Recommendation: Grrl Toyz Lipstick Vibe. It looks exactly like lipstick. Enough said.

Toy Cleaner

Even if you’ve never used sex toys before, it’s not difficult to guess that they can get pretty nasty if you don’t clean them thoroughly before and after each use. While you can use soap and water to clean most sex toys, getting a good anti-bacterial toy cleaner is a must to keep your sex toys looking and feeling like new each time you use them. Often, it’s a lot easier to use a special toy cleaner than it is to bust out the soap and hot water.

Recommendation: System Jo Toy Cleaner. Priced right, all you have to do with this easy to use toy cleaner is spray it on and wipe it off. It’s a quick way to keep your sex toys lasting longer.

A Cock Ring

Just like with masturbation sleeves, most guys don’t think about using cock rings – or any sex toys, really – during masturbation. Since they can simply use their hands (and there’s rarely any evidence laying around if all you’re using is a hand), most guys don’t think about how much better a masturbation session can be by using and experimenting with different products designed for sexual enhancement. Next time you masturbate, try slipping on a cock ring to keep your erection rock hard and lasting long. You’ll be surprised at how good everything feels with a cock ring on!

Recommendation: M2M Nitrile 1.75″ Cock Rings (Pack Of 5). You definitely don’t want to use a metal cock ring, and these soft rings are made from nitrile, which is compatible with all kinds of lube, including silicone and oil based!

A Butt Plug

If you’re starting to get into anal sex or even just a little anal play, a beginner’s butt plug is a must have. Whether you’re enjoying anal stimulation during sex or during masturbation, a small butt plug can give you just enough stimulation without being painful to make your sexual escapades feel radically different – and amazing! Make sure you use any anal toy with lube and never insert anything into your anus that isn’t designed to go there, because it could get lost!

Recommendation: Basix Rubber Works Mini Butt Plug. Comes in four colors and is super small for beginner’s use. You definitely want to use water based lube with this one though.

A Bullet Massager

Often, a bullet massager is a woman’s first vibrating sex toy. Even if it’s not, a bullet vibrator is something you definitely want to have on hand. It too is a great vibrator to take with you on trips! A bullet vibrator is also the kind you want to use with a lot of couples’ sex toys, such as cock rings with a place for a bullet vibe to go on top. Sometimes, a simple bullet vibrator is all you need to get and stay satisfied.

Recommendation: Power Bullet Vibrating Massager – 3 Speeds. Small, discreet and easy to use. Tiny enough to take with you anywhere but it’s vibrations are powerful for how small this toy really is!

A Blindfold

A blindfold is a great way to get your feet wet with BDSM if you’re just starting to get interested in it but don’t want to go too far with the whips and chains at first. A blindfold adds such an incredible element of mystery and most of them are incredibly inexpensive. You can use a silk tie or other things from around the house to create a blindfold, but buying one isn’t very expensive and are much more comfortable to wear – especially for longer periods of time.

Recommendation: Fetish Fantasy Series Satin Love Mask. It’s just your basic love mask, but if you’ve never tried BDSM before, a blindfold is where you want to start. You can’t imagine how sexy things can get once you take away the sense of sight!

How To Give Your Sex Life A Makeover Without Shattering Your Man’s Ego

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Sex isn’t something every guy is a natural at. In fact, a lot of guys are very awkward when it comes to pleasing a woman and some guys aren’t able to give their partners an orgasm at all, period. If your man sucks in the sack, you definitely want to give him a few sex tips to point him in the right direction – but how on earth do you do it without damaging your guy’s fragile ego? Here’s how to gently give your guy sex tips, while still making him think he’s the best.

Vocalize Your Pleasure

Even if he doesn’t get it right most of the time, there’s bound to be a few times that he hits the spot exactly the way you want it – and when he does, it’s important that you vocalize your pleasure and make a very big deal about it. You don’t necessarily have to make it into dirty talk – you can simply moan very loudly, gasp for air or yell “Yes!” – or all of the above. The point is, you want to make sure that he KNOWS that he’s done something right. Because once he figures out that he’s on the right track, he’s going to keep doing whatever it is that makes you scream and writhe with pleasure. So vocalizing what feels great to you is beneficial for you both.

Do To Him What You Want Him To Do To You

Sometimes, the best way to give your lover sex tips is to actually show him what you like – on him. If you want him to give you oral sex, try giving him a really great blowjob first. If you want him to touch you with his hands or finger you, show him what you want by giving him a handjob first! The idea here is to show him what you like by doing it to him first. He’ll probably pick up on it right away, but he may not. Keep giving him what you want and he’ll eventually get the idea. If he doesn’t, you can always wait until after you’ve given him a really amazing oral sex session and say, “I would love for you to try that on me.”

Guide His Hands – Or Mouth

If he’s going down on you and just isn’t hitting the right spot, don’t be afraid to gently guide him in the right direction. If he’s licking in the wrong place, gently use your hands to guide his head and mouth to just the right spot. Honestly, he’ll appreciate the pointers much more than he would appreciate his efforts being wasted because he wasn’t sure what you wanted – and you wouldn’t tell him.

If he’s using his hands, gently slide your hand down to your clitoris and show him with your hand how you want to be touched. This won’t upset him if you’re not cocky or condescending about it. You can also move his hand the way you want him to touch you – and after you let go, he’ll continue doing the same movements you showed him.

Leave A Magazine Or Internet Article Out For Him To See

If you find a particular juicy article with sex tips you think your man can use, leave it out inconspicuously for him to find. If it’s a print publication, leave the magazine in the bathroom, open to the page you want him to read. Leave it out as though you were simply reading it yourself and just forgot to put the magazine up. Next time he’s sitting in the bathroom, he’ll probably notice it – and read it. If it’s an Internet article, just leave your browser pulled up like you had forgotten to close it down. You can also minimize the browser and when he pulls up the Internet, the article will pop up “accidentally.” This is especially effective if you and your partner share a computer.

Tell Him – Nicely

If all else fails, you need to talk with your guy about how to make your sex life better – because if he’s getting off, you deserve to have an orgasm too (and an amazing one at that!) There’s absolutely no shame in talking to your guy about how to make sex better, but the way you bring it up is extremely important. If you start the conversation off saying “You need to do this,” or “You do this wrong,” it’s going to make him want to immediately stop listening to you. Don’t criticize your guy – because he’s probably trying very hard to please you sexually. Instead, tell him things you’d love to try, or say, “I love it when you do this, but I think this would be even better.”