Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for clitoris

Sex Toys: How To Use Them During Oral Sex

By

Sex toys can add an extra element of surprise and pleasure during oral sex. Here’s how to use sex toys to give your lover amazing orgasms during cunnilingus!

For the really advanced cunnilingus masters (or those who are just looking to try out a few new tricks), the use of toys during cunnilingus may spice it up just a bit. Of course, you will want to make sure that your partner is comfortable with using toys first. She may not be comfortable with the idea at all or she may be comfortable with some things and not others. If you’re really lucky, she’ll be up for anything!

Communicate First!

Communication is key to avoiding a potential argument and canceled cunnilingus session – take a trip to the adult toy store and let her pick out some of the things she would like to try during cunnilingus. If she seems apprehensive about it, don’t push the issue. She may need to get warmed up to the idea first. Of course, if she isn’t willing to use toys in the bedroom period, it is important that you leave it at that to avoid making her feel uncomfortable. If your partner feels uncomfortable or pressured, she will not open her mind and body fully to cunnilingus and your efforts will be unsuccessful.

What Kind Of Sex Toys To Use?

There are lots and lots to choose from in this department. To simplify things, we’ll separate them into two distinct categories – toys that stay outside of the vaginal canal and toys that go in it.

Outside The Vulva

These sex toys are probably the best to start out with, especially if your partner or you are at all apprehensive about bringing toys into the bedroom. These can be any number of things – they don’t have to be specially purchased toys, although they do manufacture some great ones just for the occasion. We should probably note that most of the toys that are used outside the vulva offer some sort of vibration, like a clitoris vibrator. This can feel wonderful coupled with long, soft strokes by a tongue! There are so many different vibrating toys available for clitoral stimulation; it’s difficult to know exactly where to start. If you’re not keen to visit an XXX store to purchase something specially designed, a trip to your local department store or general store should suffice.

Back massagers and neck massagers work well – even a consistently ringing cell phone on vibrate will do the trick (just kidding). Foot massagers and the like generally won’t get the job done, so stick with a good back massaging wand for maximum effect. Your partner may even want to use it if you’re out of town! If you’re in the mood to see what the local XXX store has to offer, you’ll find dozens of devices specifically with a woman’s pleasure in mind. Most of these are small, wand-like vibrators (some are even waterproof) that stimulate the clitoris in just the precise way. Some have jelly tips with different textures on them and others will strap on to the thighs and be controlled by remote to provide constant stimulation. Do be careful however – it is important that your partner be involved in both making the decision to bring toys into the bedroom

Inside The Vagina

These types of sex toys are generally not for beginners. Both partners must be extremely comfortable with sex and cunnilingus before bringing these to the table. These toys are generally phallic-shaped and some are even made with silicone to directly resemble an erect penis. Other models of this type of toy are more simply designed (think bullet or dome shaped) and are sleeker. There are many shapes and sizes, so it is important to choose one that both you and your partner are comfortable with. This type of toy can come with or without vibration, and with or without extra “pieces” that can stimulate the clitoris and other parts of the vulva. Generally, you will only find toys such as these in a XXX store.

How To Use Sex Toys During Oral Sex

Like everything else, you want to introduce it gently. It is never good to rely solely on a toy during an oral sex session (unless this is something your partner has directly requested), so be sure to provide most of the stimulation with your warm, wet tongue utilizing the techniques described earlier in the book. For toys that stimulate the clitoris, you can gently move them around the vulva first (never place them directly on the clitoris at first) and then move in to the clitoris when your partner is more aroused.

It is important to pay attention to your lady’s cues at this time as well – you’ll need to find out how fast she likes it, what kind of pressure she likes, so on and so forth. For toys that go inside the vagina, you can use them just as though you would use your penis for intercourse.

Be careful though! This must always be done gently and you must take your cues from your partner or it could spell disaster. Inserting anything into her vaginal opening without her arousal and consent may end very badly.

Once you and your partner become more comfortable with sex toys, this may not be necessary for every cunnilingus session – the key is, of course, to follow your partner’s cues. Keep in mind that when purchasing toys for use in the bedroom that your partner needs to be very involved in the decision of what to buy. Do not purchase something you think she’ll like and whip it out seconds before a cunnilingus session! She will need to determine the size, shape, color and intensity of every toy that is going to be used during cunnilingus (or intercourse) and she may even feel like different toys based on her mood. As long as you pay attention to your partner and listen to what she’s saying (both verbally and non-verbally), you can almost guarantee cunnilingus success.

Oral Sex: 10 Hot Spots You DON’T Want To Miss!

By

Oral sex involves a woman’s entire vulva – here are ten areas that you don’t want to pass up when going down on your girl.

The Clitoris

The head of the clitoris is incredibly sensitive, hosting more than eight thousand nerve endings in its tiny package. When it becomes truly aroused, the hood, or prepuce, swells and covers the clitoris to protect it from too much stimulation. Both the head and the hood love strokes that are rhythmic yet gentle, although as a woman moves along towards climax, they can both handle a firmer touch.

Her G-Spot

A sensitive spot along the top of the vaginal wall, the G-Spot is a spongy bit of tissue that abuts a woman’s urethra, and is very pleasurable to the touch when rubbed or pressed during certain arousal periods. For the remainder of this series we’ll refer to this area as the G-Spot because it’s the more commonly used term, but try to think of it more as a general area than a small spot, as it can be quite expansive depending on the woman.

The Mons Pubis

The Mons Pubis is just on the outside of where the G-Spot can be found, and you’ll want to use this spot during your oral manipulations because tensions from both sides is really pleasurable. Imagine this whole area as a sandwich, where your hands are the bread (one inside, one outside) with both applying pressure to the ‘meat’ (G-Spot).

The Front Commissure

The super-tender spot just above the clitoral head covers the shaft and bulges out ever so slightly if you look or feel closely along this area, especially when a woman is excited. The Front Commissure is similar to the clitoris in that it likes softer tongue strokes initially during the first arousal phase, but then prefers a more firm touch, such as with a finger, flat tongue or lip, as the process continues.

The Frenulum

Just underneath the clitoris, on the other side of the Front Commissure, lays the Frenulum. It also likes a softer touch initially, with a firmer feel as time goes on. Most of a woman’s sexual pleasure is gained from this general area Front Commissure to Frenulum.

Her Labia

The smaller lips that surround the opening to a woman’s vagina are the Labia Minora, and they fill with blood the more excited a woman is, to the point where they can double in size. Light touches work best here, as when engorged with blood, they can be especially tender and sensitive.

The Vaginal Opening

The only part of the vagina that is visible to the naked eye likes light nibbles and long licks, but not a lot of tension or firmness.

The Fourchette

Found just after the vaginal opening closes, and where the Labia Majora and Minora meet, the Fourchette is best stimulated with tickles and very light rubbing.

Her Perineum

The space between the Fourchette and Anus is the Perineum (also known as the Taint), and is full of connective tissue and a network of pelvic muscles that lend themselves well to gentle pinches, tickles, licks and finger pressure, both from the inside and the outside of her body.

The Anus

The same network of muscles that help the perineum feel wonderful are in play with the anus as well, and this whole area contracts during orgasm too. Light touches and pressure are excellent here, but be sure to either use a finger cot to keep your hands clean, or wash your hands thoroughly before using those fingers elsewhere along her genital area, because the anus can harbor bacteria that isn’t friendly to the rest of her sexual experience.

3 EXPLOSIVE Tips To Give Your Girl Mind Blowing, Exquisite Orgasm!

By

Female orgasm is like the holy grail of sex – but it doesn’t have to be THAT unattainable. Try these three tricks to give your lover the orgasm of a lifetime.

Men want to deliver it. Most women never get it. What is it? The female orgasm.

Playing Hard To Get

Why is the female orgasm so elusive? Well, it is not, at least not when a woman is seeking self-gratification on her own. But when guys come into the picture, more than 50% of women have to fake one in order to please their partners, or simply to get the act over and done with.

So what is it about the female orgasm that most guys simply don’t get it? Read on for three unusual tricks on giving her the first one, tonight!

Appreciate Her Pleasure, With Or Without The Big ‘O’

Stop fussing over whether she will get one. When she knows that you are relaxed about sex (which you SHOULD), she will naturally let go of her own inhibitions too. Relaxation is the key to inducing a female orgasm. Show her that you appreciate her sexual pleasure, even if she does not climax. This will ironically speed up her orgasmic response and bring her to the edge sooner rather than later.

Be Her Bosom’s Best Buddy

A woman’s breasts are her gateway to her orgasm. Don’t believe? When you are engaging in foreplay on her breasts, stay away from her un-aroused nipples first. Instead gently caress the side, top and bottom of her breasts before slowly moving towards her nipples. When she is getting aroused, you will notice the nipples swelling up and flushed with flood, signaling that the time is ripe for direct stimulation. Give her breasts and nipples a good 2 to 3 minutes of your attention and you will induce greater blood circulation and lubrication in her genitals, priming her for an orgasm later.

Put Friction To Good Use

If you want to maximize the amount of pleasure she is getting, try increasing the amount of contact with her clitoris during penetration. For example, when she is lying down, use the base of your penis to rub against her clitoris. When you penetrate her, do so in an up-down movement instead of a direct in-out thrust. Alternatively, you can gyrate your hips and rotate your pubic mound against her clitoris. This will take a great deal of stimulation off your penis glans, helping you last longer, and giving her maximum stimulation at the same time.

There are plenty more tips and techniques to give a woman an orgasm. These 3 tips will give you a great head start and prime her for a sizzling time in bed, as soon as tonight!

Oral Sex Techniques That Will Make Your Girl’s Legs Shake!

By

Oral sex is a great way to give your partner an orgasm before sex. Here are easy to use tricks that will stroke and lick your lover into orgasm frenzy!

Side-To-Side

The obvious choice for licking the clitoris is vertical (top to bottom, or bottom to top), but side-to-side also has its advantages too. When you lick side-to-side, you’re moving your tongue in a way that you normally wouldn’t, and thus, it’ll take you a bit longer and it may even offer a bit more resistance than just vertically licking her. Because of this, side-to-side licks are best for when you want to arouse your partner quickly with a bit more pressure, as this will feel very different to her. Make sure there is adequate lubrication as well with side-to-side, as they can abrade a bit more because your tongue will hit angles on her Clitoral Hood that it normally wouldn’t find otherwise.

Diagonal

Licking a woman’s clitoris on the diagonal is more than just moving your tongue from one side to another on a slant; if you try, you’ll likely be able to do a few, but anything more than that will probably give you a kink in your tongue. Instead use leverage to get a good diagonal lick going, by cocking your head to one side and using her inner thigh as a place to rest your head. Then start at the bottom corner, and give her one full lick up and across the clitoris until it reaches the opposite, far corner.

Even with propping your head up during oral sex, you’ll find that this isn’t an easy position to keep for any length of time. Plus, it’s a bit challenging on the mouth as well, because you’re using the side of your tongue more than the flat top or tip as you would with the other tongue strokes. Use the diagonal lick judiciously, especially when you want to throw an element of unpredictability in cunnilingus, as well as a totally unique feeling for both of you.

The Precision Lick

This is a very pointed lick, where you’re licking a certain area repeatedly until a certain goal is achieved. Maybe it’s to inflame her sexually, or you want to create a bit of repetition so that her clitoris gets used to your tongue strokes. No matter what the reason, use this tongue stroke when you want to pay special attention to a certain area, and make the licks short and quick like you are devouring the best ice cream cone of your life. When you find a part of her anatomy that is particularly delectable, spend even more time in this area with these precise licks, adding pressure and speeding things up accordingly.

Shadow

In this tongue stroke, your finger follows your tongue wherever it goes, like a shadow. So if your tongue gives a long, wet, firm lick, then your finger should do the same thing. Quick, short and light? Keep the finger following with the same tempo and pressure. The difference between the soft wetness of your tongue and the firm give of your finger can really drive her wild, trying to predict what’s next, what will touch her, and how.

Using A Flat, Firm Tongue

A flat, still tongue is one of the most used tongue strokes in this series, yet most people upon reading it, scoff and think, “There’s no way not doing anything can actually do something.” And yet, if you’ve learned anything by now through this process, you’ve learned that sometimes taking a break is the best thing you can do.

When I say a flat tongue, I mean just that. Flat, firm, and as still as possible. It’s a pressing motion, like flattening a pancake. Stay still with flat tongued strokes, and let her build some resistance. Have her move below you, trying to get some more friction buildup. See what parts of her body undulate and contort to get more from you while you’re flat-tongued, and learn what she likes in turn. This is also an excellent tool to use when she’s feeling disconnected; just look up at her and make eye contact while still connected to her clitoris with your flat tongue, and give her a playful wink.

Spring Into Action

After you’ve teased her a bit with your flat, still tongue, do the exact opposite: spring into action like you’re a man gone wild, with light but pointed flicks around her clitoris that are completely unpredictable and as fast as you can possibly muster them. Then go back to the flat, still tongue routine and have her begging for more.

Hoover

So named after the vacuum – this tongue lick is meant to apply a gentle sucking pressure to her clitoris so that blood fills the clitoris and brings her closer to climax.

This technique is similar to a relatively expensive device on the market called the Eros, which uses suction to engorge the clitoris with blood while increasing lubrication and pleasurable sensations leading to orgasm. Small clinical trials found that none of its test subjects had less sensation, orgasms or lubrication after using the device, and all saw measurable increases in all three measures. Plus, the study found that 100% of the women in the study diagnosed with female sexual dysfunction felt more clitoral sensation after using the Eros.

Therefore, use a gentle Hoover-like technique when you want to increase blood flow, sensation and lubrication in your partner.

The ABC’s

You can also use an alphabet tongue stroke series to arouse your partner and enhance unpredictability, but at certain stages of female sexual response, you will want to offer some predictable rhythms with unpredictable accents or angles. That’s where the numbers tongue strokes come in; instead of using the whole alphabet, use just one letter over and over again, emphasizing one select part of the flow. Maybe “?” marks the spot for you, where you use several diagonal licks to get the point across, or “?” works even better by avoiding the clitoris completely and teasing around it instead.

Oral Sex: Why The Ladies Love It

By

Oral sex isn’t just something guys love – women crave it too! Here’s why chicks dig oral sex and how YOU can satisfy their needs!

It is a well known fact that oral sex is extremely pleasurable for a man. The irrefutable evidence permeates our society from sexual innuendos in commercials to adult films and pornography. It is true that a man will not let a woman who gives great fellatio go far and for many men, oral sex is the cornerstone of a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, oral sex for women (called cunnilingus) doesn’t get quite as much publicity as fellatio does, in spite of the fact that it is more pleasurable for a woman to receive oral sex than it is for a man.

It’s Actually More Pleasurable For A Girl

Come again? Yes, you heard right. The amount of pleasure experienced by a woman when receiving oral sex is much greater than the pleasure experienced by a man receiving oral sex. How is this possible? The surface area of a man’s penis greatly exceeds the surface area of the clitoris; therefore oral sex for a man must feel better. Well, not exactly. Packed into that tiny little clitoris in a woman’s vulva is a whopping eight thousand nerve endings! We guarantee that isn’t something you learned in Sex Ed! Yes, the clitoris has almost two times the amount of nerve endings than a penis does and is the most sensitive part of the human body (both male and female). If the clitoris is such a big deal, how come we haven’t heard much about it until now?

This is where a little bit of psychology comes into play. It is a woman’s nature to give and give without ever receiving. It is unlikely that she will ever ask or tell you that she would like to experience cunnilingus – women just aren’t wired that way. She may give clues like freshening up down south or making suggestive comments, but since men take such a direct approach to everything, it is quite possible that he will miss these clues entirely.

Oral Sex Will Give Women Better Orgasms Too

Rest assured, however, that nearly all women love to be gone down on, for both physical and emotional reasons. The physical, of course, is obvious – by directly stimulation her clitoris with a hot, wet mouth, she will most likely experience more powerful, intense and longer lasting orgasms than with intercourse alone. Emotionally, during cunnilingus the woman is the center of attention – nothing matters more at that moment than her pleasure. Many women today balance both careers and a family and in between her screaming boss and putting dinner on the table, there isn’t much time left for her. For a woman, cunnilingus is like a mini-vacation where she can finally forget her daily routine and nagging to-do list while her body releases the pent up tension from the day.

The Proof

A study involving ninety-eight married women as described in Sex: A Man’s Guide, ranked cunnilingus or oral sex as the most enjoyable and gratifying sexual act – eighty-two percent of these married women feel that receiving cunnilingus outranks any other sexual act! Only sixty-eight percent of the women felt that intercourse was very pleasurable and believe it or not, these women experienced an orgasm only twenty-five percent of the time! That means that out of every four times these women engaged in a sexual act, only once did they reach orgasm! During oral sex, however, these same women reached orgasm a whopping eighty-one percent of the time. There’s solid proof that cunnilingus is the most surefire way to give a woman an orgasm. In a similar study by Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, only 7.7 percent of women did not reach an orgasm if their husbands spent more than twenty-one minutes engaging in foreplay and oral sex.

Okay, so we’ve made our point. Cunnilingus is the ultimate form of sex for a woman – hands down! You can go down on your partner before you enter her, or you can surprise her and make cunnilingus the main event for an evening. Either way you choose to do it, know that you will ultimately strengthen your relationship and get closer to your partner than you ever were before.