confidence – Page 13

10 “Power Tactics” For Scoring Strippers

A stripper is the kind of girl that is unattainable, right? Wrong! Check out these ten excellent tips that will help you (yes, YOU) get laid by a stripper!

Experienced guys don’t view strip clubs through the eyes of the average chump customer. They see target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. They’re also a great place to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in other settings.

Sure, the girls are looking to get your money. It’s their job. This is why you’ve got to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the these great tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates just as you would at a bar.

1. Have A Bulletproof Mindset

Know you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. A stripper will spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, unattractive men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.

2. Have Confidence!

When you enter the club, have confidence and walk around with your head held high, like you own the place. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in and relax!

3. Make Her Sit BESIDE You

When a hot stripper approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (“Whoa, easy there. Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”)

Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a striptease. Instead, engage her in conversation and control the flow.

4. Maintain Eye Contact

Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.” (“Wow. Not only are you the cutest girl here, but you can actually hold an intelligent conversation.”)

5. Break Out Of Her Routine

Dancers, like salesmen, have canned routines that they use to make customers feel comfortable and ready to spend money. When she asks you your name, or where you’re from, ignore it. Go into your OWN routine.

6. Be Respectful Of Her Profession

Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along. I get the sense there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”

7. Befriend The Staff

Bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJ’s, managers, owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value in the eyes of the dancers; you’re not a typical customer.

Befriending a male staff member is easy: say, “Dude, you’re the envy of every guy—hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women and getting paid for it. You make me want to consider a career change. By the way, my name’s ______.”

(Sometimes I’ll buy a bottle of water or a Red Bull, and bring it outside and hand it to a doorman. I’ll say, “hey man, I figured you could use a drink out here. I’m not getting good cell phone reception inside, I need to check my messages.” I’ll check my messages real quick, then introduce myself to the doorman—who is always very appreciative of the drink—and get him on my side.)

8. Don’t Forget She’s There To Make Money

Go on slow nights (i.e. a weeknight) when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for her attention. After you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her—but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)

9. Use Good Conversation Lines

During the conversation, apply the same techniques you would use on women in a bar. Ask her questions that prompt her to reveal quirky things about herself. Use hypotheticals, i.e., “If you could teleport right now to anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Here’s another good one: “Tell me something about yourself that the customers in here would never suspect.”

10. Don’t Expect To Go Home With Her Right Away

It might take a couple of visits for you to “close” the dancer you like (getting her number, or meeting her after her shift). If you’re not buying dances and she has to go, encourage her to go make money. (“I’ve got some business to go handle, and I can see there a lot of lonely guys in here who’d love to pay for your company. I need to bounce, it was awesome to meet you.”)

Make your exit and return in the near future to continue building your connection with her. If after several chat sessions she’ll still giving you the “run around” and has excuses why she can’t hang out with you outside of the club, or she won’t even give up her phone number, be a man about it. Tell her, no problem, you understand, and the next time you return to the strip club you should select another girl to mack on.

If your original target gives you dirty looks while you’re macking on her co-worker, don’t even let it faze you. She missed her chance to get on board your train and take the ride of her life.

How To Play Your OWN Game With A Stripper

By deancortez

A stripper will work you over to try to get your money – but if you’d rather date her (or just have sex), here’s how to turn the tables and play your own game.

Deflection Tactics

First of all, keep in mind that when a stripper approaches you, she’s asking permission to enter your space. You are the boss, essentially. When she starts going into her “sales routine” to try to get you to buy a striptease, don’t do anything to empower the part of her that is trying to seduce you or sell you. In other words, don’t play along with her game. Make her play yours.

Let her speak first. Then deflect whatever she says and change the subject. Take control of the interaction.

Another “deflection” tactic: Look at her, smile, and say “I don’t want to be rude, honey, but you’ve got something on your nose (rub your nostril). She’ll instantly get self-conscious and wipe her nose.

This is effective for “disarming” her and breaking her out of her sales routine. Tell her to sit down with you, then grab a napkin and gently wipe her nose (which doesn’t actually have anything on it). Now go into leading the conversation.

What To Do When A Stripper You Like Heads Your Way

When a stripper you like approaches you, don’t let her plant herself on your lap. Make her sit beside you. If she tries to sit on your lap, say, “Whoa, I’m not that easy! Have a seat, until we get to know each other a little better.”

If she offers a lap dance right then, you never want to say “yes,” because then you’re framing yourself as a typical chump customer.

But you don’t want to say “no” either, because then she’ll feel rejected—or she’ll figure you’re a cheapskate who wants to try to hit on her without having to open your wallet.

Do NOT offer to buy her a drink at this time. (Remember, you’re going to make her feel that she earned it.) You want her to sit next to you so that you can engage her in conversation and control the flow.

Deflect, and get her to sit down next to you. I might say, “Have a seat, I’m sure your feet are killing you in those heels. The craziest thing just happened, you’ve got to hear this….”

(A good “story” to tell: say that two of the dancers just got into a catfight outside the bathroom! Screaming, hair-pulling, hissing…it was wild!)

How To Take Control Of The Conversation

Once she’s sitting next to you, you’ve got to take control of the conversation, because otherwise she’ll go into her “routine.” Strippers, like computers, operate according to a program. She basically uses this same flirting routine, or program, with every customer.

If you don’t control the conversation, she’ll start asking you the standard questions (“So how are you feeling tonight,” “What’s your name,” “Is this your first time here,” etc.), in an attempt to build a connection with you and butter you up for a dance.

NOTE: The length of time she waits before asking me for a dance is an indicator of how skilled and experienced she is at her job. Essentially, strippers are saleswomen. The product they’re selling is themselves.

The real pros won’t hit you up for a dance too soon, and they won’t directly ask you “Wanna dance?” They’re craftier about it. They’ll take some time to butter you up and flirt with you. Once she has created the sense that there is a “connection” between the two of you, that’s when the skilled stripper will close the deal and get you to buy a dance. She might say, “Do you mind if I dance for you?” or, “I love this song! Can I dance for you?”

Put it this way – when you walk onto a car lot, no good salesman is going to walk straight up to you and try to sell you an expensive vehicle. He’s going to spend some time talking to you and feeling you out. He won’t go for the “close” until he knows he’s got you very interested in a particular vehicle.

Your goal is to disrupt her from her routine before she has a chance to go into it. “Short circuit” her program, and you’ll force her to engage in a real conversation. The most effective way to do this is to start talking about a completely unrelated subject. Remember, you’re making her step into your world, instead of taking the bait and stepping into hers.

Easy Tips For Building Confidence

By romymorgan

Dating tips are all about how to improve your game, and the easiest way to do it is to get confidence! But just how do you do it? These dating tips will help!

Why Confidence Is So Important

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of dating. Building confidence is not difficult when you know how to use your best assets. Having self-assurance can easily boost your perception in the eyes of others and can have an impact on your work life as well as your dating life.

Creating a persona of poise can turn nerve-racking first dates and approaches into attainable scenarios by giving you the tools needed to be sure that positive outcomes are possible. Here are a few easy techniques for building your confidence.

Change Up Your Wardrobe

When you look good you feel good. Changing your wardrobe is one of the best ways to boost your self-confidence. When you change your wardrobe people will take notice. Your clothes are one of the first things that people notice about you. If you are going on a date in ratty jeans and a shirt that was too tight in the 8th grade, it’s time for an update.

A suggestion that a lot of guys do not take seriously is the consultation of a stylist. Stylists know what women like and they know the trends of the fashion industry. They will also be able to tell you where to shop without breaking the bank.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

Being hurt or humiliated by an ex-girlfriend can shatter any man’s self-image. Let go of past relationships. It doesn’t matter if an ex cheated on you or said hurtful things, you have qualities that a great girl is going to admire. Let go of the past and look forward to the future.

It’s only natural to feel like you’re never going to meet another girl or that you might be alone for the rest of your life. This unreasonable hopelessness is known as “catastrophic thinking” and can render you with the inability to approach women. Let go of your past relationships and think of them as a learning experience. It’s time to move on. Thinking about the future can give you a fresh perspective on your love life.

Get Healthy & In Shape To Feel GOOD About Yourself!

If you already work out then you’re a step ahead of the rest. However, if you are not working out you need to start now. Working out is a great stress reliever and can build your confidence immeasurably. Join a gym or just start running in the afternoons.

When you start to feel like you’re never going to meet anybody or that you’re not good enough for women, working out can make these thoughts fly out of your head instantaneously. Joining a gym is also one of the best ways to start meeting a new clientele of women.

Create A List Of Qualities You Want In A Woman

Creating a list of qualities that you want in a woman will help you weed out bad dates. Just taking any old date is not recommended. Knowing that you have no interest in a girl and that you’re just taking her out to try to make yourself feel better is selfish. When you are picky about whom you go out with you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Desperation is something that a lot of guys feel after recent break ups or being alone for a long time. Clinging to a girl that you know you have no future with is a recipe for disaster. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then stick to that list. When you find a girl that has most or all of the qualities, you will feel a lot better about your choice.

Laugh!!

Laugh about past missteps with former girlfriends or dates. Laughing can easily lighten the situation and take all of the darkness out of your thinking. Don’t take your dating too seriously. If a girl turns you down, laugh about it. Any girl that turns you down just isn’t right for you. Don’t fall into the cliché of saying “her loss.”

While you might say this to build your confidence, it almost always comes back to haunt your mind. You will start thinking, “Is it really her loss? Or is it mine?” Just laugh the situation off and move on. There are a lot of women out there that you can make happy. Every misstep is a step closer to finding somebody that you can connect with on a deeper level.

Confidence is a vital part of dating. When you do not feel comfortable enough with yourself it will show through your mannerisms. Stick to these suggestions and you will start seeing results in as little as a couple of days.

How To Ask A Girl Out For Valentine’s Day

By loveandsex

Valentine’s Day sucks if you’re single. You definitely don’t want to be alone, hanging out at your house like you normally do every other day, while everyone else goes out and has fun with their significant other (or just an “other”) This year, commit to going out! Ask out the woman you’ve had your eye on for Valentine’s Day and you won’t be alone! Here’s how to do it.

Leave Roses And A Note In Her Car

Grab a bouquet of roses and write a simple note with your phone number on it. Plainly state, “I would love to take you out for Valentine’s Day. Give me a call!” Don’t be too lovey dovey or pushy in your note, because the flowers add enough intensity to this scenario – too much and you’ll scare her off.

Also, meeting her at her car, say when she gets off work, with flowers and asking her out in person is also very sweet and acceptable. If you don’t want to get rejected in person and you think there’s a possibility of that, the note works well for that.

Send Flowers To Her Work

Flowers are an excellent way to get a lady to warm up to you, as long as they’re not too extravagant and obviously expensive. Bigger is not better here – however, taking note of her personal style and taste and selecting flowers that you genuinely believe she’ll like is. Take some time to select a nice bouquet with her favorite flowers and colors and have it delivered to her workplace.

You can put “from your secret admirer” if you like (this is almost always exciting for a woman, because in all honesty, it rarely ever happens for real) but make sure to include your phone number so she can get back to you. The great thing about sending it to work is that you’ll be making certain that all her work friends (and frienemies) see it. This will make her feel intensely special, and they’ll also put some good natured pressure on her to accept your offer.

Text Her To Meet You Somewhere Romantic

If you already have her phone number, this is an excellent way to meet her to ask her out in person. Send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere romantic – but not too romantic if you think it might scare her off. Meet at the park under your favorite tree, by a lake or river, or anywhere else nature can help you out a little.

If your local grocery store has a large Valentine’s Day section – may of them inflate balloons and let them float up to the ceiling, creating an entire section of surreal pink and red floating ribbon – you can meet there (this really only works if the atmosphere is super appealing).

In A Scavenger Hunt

Send your potential date on a scavenger hunt, with lots of little notes that lead either to another note with a big reveal or you, holding flowers. Make sure the “gold at the end of the rainbow” is fun and exciting enough to have made it worth the hunt. Just use your creativity for this one!

Use the notes to write fun clues as to where to find the next clues. With each note, include something small, like a rose petal (to indicate that the big reveal might include roses) or candy. When she reaches the reveal, either use a note to ask her out for Valentine’s Day, or do it in person. Again, don’t put too much pressure on her to respond. Have a card in your pocket with your phone number on it that you can pull out and say, “Think about it and call me if you’re interested” if she chokes.

Remember, if she seems uncomfortable or reluctant at all, you want to use the card. You may still get turned down, but there’s a good chance she was just nervous or didn’t know what to say or do when put on the spot like that. If you slip her your number and allow her some time to calm down and think about what happened, you give her a reprieve.

If you don’t, she is much more likely to turn you down because she felt uncomfortable. If you do, you’ll increase your chances of her calling you and letting you know that she really loved what you did, but was really nervous and shy while it was happening.

4 Hot Dating Tips For The Modern Age

By loveandsex

Dating tips are a dime a dozen from family, friends and loved ones. The problem with this is that a lot of people haven’t been in the dating world for the last 15-20 years. If you are tired of getting the same advice from Aunt Judy about how to land a girlfriend, you need to be in the know with how the dating landscape has changed over the last couple of years.

Taking different aspects into account can easily garner you a great date with minimal effort. Here are a few tips to help you through the digital age of women’s liberation.

1. Use Facebook

Facebook is the standard for proving that you’re a great guy. One of the best dating tips out there is to get your Facebook account updated right now. Facebook is going to be a way for you to show off pictures of your family and friends so the girl knows that you’re not a creep. When you meet a girl and get her phone number, she will probably ask for your last name. This is so she can look up your profile and make sure that you’re not a hermit. There are even specific dating methods that focus on Facebook for picking up girls.

The Facebook Method talks about setting up your profile like a dating profile so if you meet a girl she will see your best attributes when she’s checking up on you. Update your Facebook account with recent pictures and remove any pictures of your ex-girlfriends. If you have pictures of yourself with other girls, make sure that you put a caption showing that she’s a friend.

2. Pay The Small Bill

Let’s say that you meet a girl and ask her out for a drink. While dating tips of the past tell guys that they should pay the entire bill, this is not recommended. Pay for a small bill and let her pay for herself if you are getting dinner. If you are meeting a girl for a drink, pay for the drink. A drink will cost you anywhere from $4-$9 dollars. Having a $12 tab collectively is not going to leave you penniless.

If you are meeting her for dinner and she insists on paying for herself, let her. As cold as it may seem, she might not want a second date, so there is not reason that you should be shelling out when she is insisting on paying for herself anyways. Women have good jobs, most of which are going to be better than your own, so let her pay. Some men think this is a power play when in reality she just wants to pull her own weight.

3. Be Chivalrous In Other Ways

Traditional dating tips focus on chivalry as a staple of all dating. Even though we live in an age of women’s liberation, they still want to feel like a lady when you take them out. Holding doors, dressing appropriately and pulling her chair out for her are seen as chivalrous acts. Make sure that you are being chivalrous with all dates. Even if you’re not interested in going on a second date, she might have some single friends. In a lot of ways, dating can be comparable to business.

Never burn a bridge just because you don’t see a future with her. Keep in touch and she might tell her friends that you’re a great guy, but there just wasn’t any chemistry. You never know. She might try to set you up based on how well you treat her throughout the date.

4. Be Actionable

Letting a girl down easy by telling her you’re going to call might seem like one the best dating tips, but it’s not recommended. If you tell a girl that you’re going to call her again, call her again. Even if you aren’t sure if there’s chemistry, call her anyway. More than likely, she will pick up on whether or not you’re interested. You don’t want to miss out on a potential relationship just because you never called her back. Dates don’t always go the way that we want.

Having a bad day can easily reflect in a first or second date. Being on the fence isn’t an excuse. Play it out until you are sure that you don’t want to be with her. Telling a girl that you’re going to call when you know that you won’t is not fair to either of you. If you really don’t have any interest in seeing her again, say something like “It was nice meeting you.” This is much easier better than “I’ll call you this week” or “See you never.