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How To Use Eye Contact To Approach Women

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Dating is most successful when you use body language to your advantage. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of body language and it alone can attract a woman to you. Girls are actually CONSTANTLY trying to approach and talk to you. Now you might be saying that you have never had a girl come up and talk to you out of the blue, however by no means does this mean that she did not approach you. Girls just view approaching a stranger very different than men do.

Women Definitely Want To Be Approached

When they’re dating (not in a relationship), girls are constantly giving signs for people to come up and talk to them. Sometimes it is a blatant sign directed towards one guy, or it can just be the way she is carrying herself to hope that any guy comes up to spark a conversation. For the most part, I feel 80% of men miss out on these signs or misread them.

Just accept by rule of thumb that a girl will not go out of her way and directly spark a conversation up with you, however she will throw up all kinds of signs for you to come over and talk to her. As someone that is naturally good at dating women, it is your job to be able to read these signs and immediately act upon them.

Before we get into specific signs that girls give, I want to introduce you to the most powerful weapon in any naturals’ arsenal. It is by far the best tool we have for creating a fast and strong connection with the opposite sex. It is in effect before you even say your first words, all the way to the moment she is back in your bedroom. This tool is non-other than eye contact.

Using Your Eyes The Right Way

To master this dating tool you must know how to use your eyes in the right way. If you are like I used to be, you probably never really thought about the eye contact you were making. However, once I started incorporating it properly, I don’t know how I ever did without it.

I first noticed its power as I was walking through a mall. When you are walking in any busy area, there are constantly people you just happen to notice. Many people walk by without catching your eye, while others just seem to draw your attention. Sometimes it is just your mind creating awareness of the space around you, and other time it is something like a pretty girl walking by that catches your attention, either way your focus is always shifting from person to person.

It goes the same way with girls, as they are walking down the street they are constantly looking at people, sometimes you may see them walk right by you without them noticing you, and other times you will catch them make brief eye contact with you. This is your moment to go up to her and start flirting. If a girl walking by has made some form of eye contact with you, it is either her creating awareness of her surroundings, or there is something about you that caught her attention. Either way you have just entered her conscious awareness, making any approach you make with less likely to catch her off guard and will lead to a smoother interaction.

Being Aware Of The People Around You

Try to take note of all the people walking by that you make eye contact with, and then start to get into the habit of approaching these people, you will notice a much warmer response because just from her noticing you for a brief second, you have become less of a stranger in her mind. There is a slight level of familiarity that will help you get your foot in the door with every interaction.

There are more blatant signs that girls give in a variety of situations that are even more powerful than just the passing glance. If you go out to a bar, club, or any place of social nature, you are bound to run into three types of girls giving off very unique signs for you to talk to them. Learn to recognize these types of girls and always approach them.

Signs She Wants To Talk To You

The Gazing Girl

This is the most common sign/type of girl you will see. It is similar to the passing glance we were talking about but is a little more direct. Say you are sitting with your friends at one end of the bar and you notice a girl at another end look over at you and your friends. She is not going to do anything overly seductive; she is just going to make a brief second of eye contact with you then break it.

Now girls already think this a big sign for a guy to approach them but they do not realize how subtle and easy to dismiss it is. So they will follow up once more with a look over. If you have not already gotten and up and are on your way to approach, then consider this second glance a flashing neon light saying GO TALK TO HER. Girls think this sign is obvious and get frustrated that guys miss it. She will not keep going out of her way to make eye contact with you. In almost all cases she will only make it twice (if that) then move on.

The Wandering Girl

Another form of body language girls will use to show they want to be approached is by creating proximity to you. They will either leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, and in turn walk past you, or they will choose to form their group somewhere within a 15 to 20 foot proximity of yourself.

Consider all girls within 20 feet of you as a girl that wants to be approached by you. The closer she is, the more she wants to be approached. If she is this close to you, she is aware of your existence in one form of another so even if she was not intentionally making herself closer to you, she is comfortable with you being in her near proximity. This in turn will result in a more successful and warmer response to any approach you make.

The Dancing Girl

This girl is easy to spot, she will be hanging out with her group of friends, not really paying attention and simply dancing or bobbing her head to the song that is being played. Simply go up and approach and before the conversation can really even spark say how you like this song and tell her to “come dance.” Very assertive and easy.

After the song is over you can suggest walking off the dance floor and talking to her. Chat her up and ask her out on a date. Also look for this sign when you are talking up any girl at a bar or club, if you are having a good conversation and she starts to seem into the song, it is her sign that she wants to dance with you and is often a great way to begin any form of escalation towards sex.

The key to this dating advice is being more aware of your surroundings and to pay attention to the people looking at you/near you. You will begin to notice countless opportunities for you to approach and they all start with a simple subtle glance. Don’t miss them!

Final note on eye contact: When conversing with a girl, make an effort to hold eye contact just a few seconds longer than you normally would. Girls naturally hold eye contact about two seconds longer than guys feel comfortable doing so and if you have eye contact and your focus in the right place, the girl will start to feel an immediate strong bond with you.

It is also a great tool for creating sexual tension and sometimes eye contact can fill any void in conversation. If the girl likes you, she will make an effort to hold eye contact with you, allow her to and be comfortable with it.

How To Stay Focused When Talking To Women

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Even the best dating advice sometimes leaves out how important awareness is when you’re talking to women. If you’re not concentrating in the right place, your conversations with women will go nowhere. Every guy is afraid of clamming up when he’s talking to a woman, and that only happens when a man loses his concentration during a conversation.

In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

  • If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
  • If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
  • If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

  • If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
  • If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
  • If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

How To Meet Women

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When it comes to dating, if you are not approaching and striking up conversations with women during the day, you are missing out!

Many people think that in order to meet a woman, you need to go to a bar or club. This is simply not the case when it comes to meeting and dating quality women. There is a hesitation many people face when it comes to talking to an attractive girl during day-to-day activities. If you feel this way, you are really limiting yourself to the women you could meet in your life.

Meeting a women in the day time is an interesting concept because it takes the element of “pick up,” that one generally associates with a bar or club, and applies it to stores and street venues. What is partiality intriguing though, is if you asked any girl how they envision meeting their dream guy, it never seems to take place in a nighttime venue. Girls will always go on describe a random occurrence at a coffee shop or mall, where the man of their dream just falls into their life and a connection is made.

The Hollywood Effect

Thanks to the picture that books, movies, and television has created, women have the fantasy that they will meet a man for them while going about their day-to-day activities. This perhaps explains why a woman will always put more work into her appearance before going out on a series of errands. If a woman expects to be out and about for than more than an hour, then you can bet they dress to impress (or at least shower and apply make up, unlike what can be said about some of our male counterparts).

It can easily be assumed that women want to be approached during the daytime thanks to the fantasies that they have imagined. This is why it is not uncommon to see a girl doing schoolwork by herself at a Starbucks, or hanging around longer than needed in a Café. She probably did not need to leave her apartment to get work done, yet she got herself put together to be presentable during the day time before going out.

If a women puts all that effort into their presentation before going out, it seems safe to assume that they are indeed meeting men they are interested in during the daytime. Or at least for mindset purposes, assume this is true and your actions will reflect it. Yet it still seems that women flock to bars and clubs as a means of meeting men, now why do you think that is?

Approaching Women During The Day

Let me ask you a question, how many times a day do you think a beautiful women gets approached by a man that attempt to spark a conversation with her?

3 times?

5 times?

Or even a better question, how many times a week do you think she gets approached?

5 times?

10 times?

After interviewing some of the most beautiful women I have met in cities like New York City and Miami as well as asking my close attractive female friends that go out on a day to day basis (for example they always does their school work at Starbucks) I found that they all gave me the same number when it came to approaches from men during the daytime.

Each of these women are NEVER approached by men during the day time! It’s that simple. When I asked if there was ever a time a guy came up and tried to start a conversation with them they all drew a blank. Sure they would get the occasional once over from guys walking by, or maybe a rude sex remark yelled from a distance. But when it came to them doing their day-to-day activities, not so much as a simple “Hey, what’s up?” has ever been extended their way.

Taking The “Daytime” Dating Approach

We have to face the fact men are simply not approaching women during the daytime, yet women prepare themselves for the off chance that it may happen. It is even fair to say that women are more ready and susceptible to a man’s approach than they are at a bar or club. All their guards are down and there is that subtle fantasy that one day a man will genuinely spark a conversation with her and they will have a real connection.

So if you are not already approaching and chatting up women during your day to day activities, just think that myself, and all the single ladies in the world are encouraging you to take advantage of this untapped resource when it comes to meeting and dating women.

How To Be Naturally Good With Women

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The best dating advice for being good with ladies is actually quite simple, contrary to popular belief. There are simple changes in your thinking that you can make to become one of those guys that is just good with girls.

Ever notice how some people are just always getting with attractive girls? Sometimes they are not even attractive men, but seem to leave the club with the hottest girl there. This has nothing to do with tricks or techniques when meeting women, but comes from the proper mindsets that they have developed.

Having The Proper Mindset

Someone that is naturally good with women does not have a set of pick up lines that they use and generally have no scripted game plan of any sorts when it comes to meeting women, yet it is their beliefs and mindsets that guide their actions in a naturally attractive way. The alignment of ones actions and mindset are what makes up dominance and is the first step to bringing out your inherited natural.

Before you can be in tune with others, you must be in tune with yourself. Now, I do not mean that is some preachy confidence developing way, I mean it as in order to bring women into your life; you need to know what you want from them.

This kind of guy knows what kind of girl he is attracted to. There can be many things that can draw your attraction to a girl, whether it is natural good looks, style, demeanor, personality, or a combination of them all, a guy that is good with women has his preference and you should too.

Avoid “Rating” Women

Another great piece of dating advice is to avoid “rating” women. A man that is awesome with girls does not rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 – this kind of scale is made up by people that do not have the ability to be good with ladies and it becomes a tool to create excuses about why they did not talk to a particular girl.

A man that IS great with girls only has two numbers, a “One” and a “Zero.” One meaning, you would “do” her, and zero meaning you wouldn’t. Now you need to understand, wanting to “do” a girl is not an objectification and should not be viewed as one. It comes from our inherited desire to want to reproduce, and denying that urge is the most “unnatural” thing you can do. The difference lies in how a smooth guy views having sex with a girl and is what makes them successful over the average sleaze ball in a club.

Being A Dominant, Confident Man

Wanting to have sex with a girl comes from a place of DOMINANCE when your desire for sex comes from something about her that triggers that urge. For example, I am very into music production and if I met a girl that displayed a unique or solid understanding of music, my sexual attraction to her would be ignited because of something about her that I find particularly sexy.

My sexual attraction does not come from a place of simply just wanting to have sex with her to have another notch in the belt. That difference in thinking is what makes a natural stand out and allows for sexual attraction to be reciprocated by the girl.

You may see many guys that have no shame in talking to every girl that walks by, however their dating success rate is low because they have not set standards for themselves. They are simply willing to settle on whatever is willing to settle with them. This behavior is very unattractive to any girl and only attracts girls with low self-esteem and other problematic issues.

More often than not, it just leads to a two-minute conversation followed by a harsh blow out. A girl shutting down a guy like this is no surprise though. How can a girl be expected to respect a guy that no standards or idea what he wants? It is essentially like he has no respect for himself. Very unattractive.

Understanding Your Desire For A Woman

The key to understanding this is by going out and taking note of what is it about certain women that draw your attention. To you, what makes some girls stand out over the others, start to find what it is that these women share in common to help you better understand your own desire.

That way, next time you see a girl that gets your attention, your desire for her is understood and gives you all the reason in the world to talk to her. Once you begin to understand the only reason you need to talk to a girl is because of your attraction to her, your approach and actions will come from a place of genuine dominance.

How To Approach Women – Doing It Naturally

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When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

If you are feeling nervous about talking to a girl, your focus is already out of line because your focus is on trying to gain her approval. If I ever feel slightly nervous when talking to a girl, I know it is because my focus is on the outcome, and I am pre-thinking about what she may think of me. It is at this time I remind myself “Every girl is special, and I want to show this girl what makes her special.” This re-aligns my focus and any nervousness I had goes away.

How To Really Approach Girls

Now, there are many beliefs on the proper way to approach girls when dating, whether it is going direct from the start, hiding your intentions through some pick up line, or talking about your surroundings, none of these are actually the natural way to approach ladies.

Any pretty girls you see has been chatted up by guys with bad game and have also been hit on by guys with the natural ability to talk to girls. If a girl can tell someone has that natural ability, they will open up from the start and that is why it is important to open like a true natural does. The key is opening in a way that shows you believe you have the right to be social.

  • Step 1: Look for eye contact, if you make eye contact with ANY girl. Time to get up and go over to her.
  • Step 2: While walking over, do not stare her down, but keep some form of eye contact with her while holding a slight smile. This will allow her to feel non threatened and also will make her aware of your approach. She will already begin to set in her mind that you are going to talk to her, making the whole approach less “random.
  • Step 3: Say “Hi.” (Now stop! Don’t keep trying to chat up. You have the right to be social, allow for her to see this and allow her to come into the conversation. Just simply say “hi” to the girl with a friendly smile. She will say “hi” back. Her attention is now on you. Many guys jump right in by stating their intentions like “Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to introduce myself.” However, this often creates a block in the conversation cause she only knows how to respond by saying “thanks.”
  • Step 4: Say “How’s it going?” (Now stop again. Your genuine curiosity here will help take over and you will be surprised of the detailed responses you can get from this simple question right off the bat. But you have to genuinely want to know how she is doing, your attitude should be like you are interested in meeting her, but am still feeling out if you want to talk to her.
  • Don’t be afraid to allow any silence to encourage her to talk a little more. This is how a natural talks; they are completely comfortable saying “Hey, how’s it going” to a stranger without it being weird for them. Girls immediately pick up on this as someone that is attractive and confident around girls.
  • Also it is very common that if the girl glanced over at you, she actually has something she has been thinking about or wanted to ask you. Often times the girl will actually spark any initial conversation after you say “Hi” just because you have taken the pressure away from the first meet.
  • Step 5: If conversation has not sparked immediately this is when you can insert your reasoning for going over and talking to her. I don’t really care what kind of opener you use, but using the system I just described above will make any opener you go with much smother and more successful. Personally I do not like to my waste time by chatting about nothing so I will follow up with “I know me coming over seems random, but honestly I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. My name is ___” Then I put my hand out for a handshake. If she shakes my hand and introduces herself, then I know I am in; she has complied with my conversation and also has a general interest in me.
  • This will make the rest of the interaction go much smoother. If she brushes it off by saying she is dating someone already or something, that is cool too because now I am not wasting my time chatting her up for 20 minutes then going for an awkward number close. I could have met three other great girls that were into me within that time. Naturals are very good at time management.
    • Also if she brushes off my response to saying she is cute, it is still no big deal. I have never gotten a negative response from that because no one ever approaches girls that way.  Either way, you have made their day and they will feel good cause you extended a genuine compliment their way.

    That is something you should have fun with and also further help rid any dating anxiety. If you genuinely think a girl is cute or there is something about her that catches your attention, and you tell her what that is, she will never give you a harsh or negative response because you have made her feel good. There is absolutely nothing to be anxious about if you are thinking, seeing, and approaching like a natural.