confidence – Page 6

How To Escalate To A Sexual Relationship With A Stripper

Seduction requires escalation to a sexual relationship. If you don’t escalate, the conversation will stay in “neutral” (and possibly fizzle out) when you need to be shifting to a higher gear. Escalation is about sexualizing the interaction. You’re basically signaling to her: I’m a man. You’re a woman. And I’m a confident, masculine guy who can give you a great orgasm.

Remember what I said before about the importance of leading women. They love it when a guy they’re attracted to starts leading them down the path towards sex, instead of just pretending to be their “friend.”

Consider a typical interaction between a guy and a girl he meets at a bar. He might have strong “conversation game” and be able to entertain her for a while with funny questions, interesting stories, etc.

Flirt From The Start!

If a guy never starts flirting and taking the interaction in a sexual direction, her attraction to him is not going to grow. In her mind, he’s just another “nice guy” who she may enjoy talking to, but she’s not imagining anything happening beyond that. The guys I know who are super-successful with women are great at being a flirt.

Strippers know they are hot; their entire job revolves around looking as hot as possible in order to make money. So while you don’t want to sit there paying her compliments about how beautiful she is, you should let her know (at the right stage) that you’re into her sexually and this isn’t just a chat between two buddies.

Don’t tell her that she’s beautiful, but do give her signs that you’re into her sexually (once you’re deep into building comfort and attraction). Flirting means doing this in a playful way that isn’t weird or creepy.

Escalation is the bridge that takes you from the conversation/comfort stage to the seduction. When a guy doesn’t escalate and suddenly “puts a move” on a girl (like trying to hold her hand, or inviting her back to his place), it feels awkward and forced.

The classic example is the guy who takes a girl on a date, and keeps his hands to himself all night, just making small talk. Then, when he drops her off at her house at the end of the date, he tries to get a goodnight kiss and she turns her head and offers her cheek.

If he had escalated during the date, the goodnight kiss would have been assured. And maybe a lot more. So, you’ll escalate at the strip club in two ways: physical and verbal. These can happen at the same time.

Establish Body Contact

Physical escalation means establishing (subtle) body contact. It’s important for her to get used to your touch, and for you to show her that you can touch her and still control yourself.

In a strip club, this can take some self-discipline. When you’re sitting with a half-naked stripper with fake breasts nearly popping out of her bra, and she’s perfectly willing to sit on your lap and cuddle with you (in order to sell you dances), it’s easy—and tempting—to let her initiate the contact and go along with it.

Instead, you should playfully deflect her early attempts to touch you. (“Whoa, you’re frisky. Don’t treat me like a prom date, ok—not until I get to know you better, at least.)

You’ll be the one to touch her. And you’ll do it in a subtle “invisible” way that never makes her feel uncomfortable, or makes you seem like a customer who wants to cop a feel. By the way, when it comes to making body contact, the fact that a strip club is loud works to your advantage. It gives you a reason to sit close to her and lean in when you speak.

When you agree with something she is saying, and you want to tell her your thoughts, lean in and touch her lightly on the knee as you talk. Caress her knee very gently, then move your hand away.

As you do a “Cold Read,” lean in and touch her hand. Look straight into your eyes as you do this. This heightens the effect.

If you’re telling her something “personal” or sharing an “inside joke,” lean in and whisper it into her ear. Touch her lightly on the forearm. This is an intimate act that will give her goose bumps if done correctly.

If she says something funny (or something you think is totally cool), give her a high-five and clasp her hand in yours for a moment, then let it go. Build the contact.

Keep Your Touches Brief

When the conversation is real, so is the effect of your physical touches. If you haven’t successfully built comfort with her, then any touching that goes on is just typical stripper-customer behavior. Start subtly making contact with her—at the right time—and you’re injecting sexual energy into the interaction.

The trick is to keep your touches brief. The idea is to make her miss your touches. This is what sexual tension is all about: she’s starting to get that horny, tingling feeling and she wants you to touch and caress her more, but you’re only giving it to her in small doses.

When you do this correctly with a woman, the anticipation of your next touch can drive her wild. She might start grabbing you! (This is when you gently ease her away and play “hard to get.”)

How To Use Your Voice To Attract Any Woman

By loveandsex

Flirting is highly dependent on your voice. Deepening your tone can easily make you more attractive to women. Admire your new, confident, attractive voice.

You don’t need to have an extremely deep voice, but it should be deep enough to communicate that you’re comfortable in the presence of women. If you notice when you talk to women your voice becomes squeaky from nervousness use this technique to compose your voice.

Use Your Voice Volume

Sometimes for fun I ask women what they like about men. While consciously women want their men to be, “nice, caring, romantic, etc”, unconsciously they want men who are masculine. When I ask what they like, these women respond with things like: “I like a man who holds himself well” “I like a man who knows what he wants” “I like a man who’s sure of himself” “I like a man who’s not intimidated by me” “I like a man who’s not nervous.”

While from first glance these qualities may all seem different, they are in fact all the same. Unconsciously women want men with confidence. Part of a confident voice is the volume you project. Confident men flirt with loud, strong and clear voices.

Un-confident men speak with soft, weak and muffled voices that project fear and low self-esteem. If you want to get the attention of women start speaking with a louder voice and be fearless of rejection.

If women intimidate you, chances are your voice is very soft. Boost your voice to a volume that “seems” too loud and you’ll speak at a more normal volume. Because you’re not used to speaking at this volume it will seem very loud; don’t worry, practice makes perfect.

Monitor Your Voice Speed

Public speaking is a real fear for most people. When somebody stands up to speak you can tell exactly how confident they are just by the speed of their vocals.

When we talk to our friends we speak in a cool calm voice and at a reasonably slow pace. If you hear a terrified person make a speech against their will, you’ll hear the fear. People who are not confident speak at an unnaturally fast pace to “get it over and done with.”

They are so uncomfortable at public speaking, and they rattle off their speech so fast, that most people have trouble getting the main points. Just by listening to the pace, women can determine if you’re nervous.

For those of you who are terrified when meeting women, here’s a great tip. Speak at half the speed you think you should be speaking at and you’ll most likely be talking at a natural pace with great body language.

Learn Voice Timing

Comedians are funny because they deliver their jokes with a great sense of timing. Learn to use emphasis, pauses, pace changes and fluctuating vocal tone with your speaking voice.

If you want to know exactly how to talk to women, study some of the most confident public speakers and coaches of our time. Go to seminars and listen to confident people speak on TV, noting the characteristics of the speakers.

A lot of men say they know how to portray a confident voice, but when it comes time to approach a woman and use this confident voice, they freeze up. Just knowing something doesn’t make you an expert. You have to put what you know into practice.

Watch Your Spoken Words

The words you speak have very little impact on your ability to meet women. Having said that, there are words or lines you can say that will repel women so fast it will make your head spin. Lines that define women as sexual objects, creatures of desire or nothing but a shell of physical beauty don’t work.

You can’t flirt with women by being too direct about your intentions. “Hey cutie,” “babe,” and “hot stuff” are terrible lines for first impressions. As mentioned before, women interpret the meaning behind your words, so think about these words from a woman’s perspective. Whenever in doubt always use the formula below designed to transform action into meaning.

Know How To Use More Than Your Words

As we move onto non-verbal flirting remember that flirting is much more about how you use your voice than the words you actually say. This point has been repeated, but with good reason. When a friend talks about the success he’s had he’ll tell his friends the lines he used rather than what he did and how he acted.

These friends then go and try out their newly found pick up lines, only to be harshly rejected. They conclude the lines don’t work and give up. If they realized that flirting is more about the delivery than the lines, everything would make sense to them.

What To Avoid Writing About In Your Online Dating Proﬁle!

By davem

Online dating can be a great way to meet women in your area if you do not have the opportunities to meet them in your everyday life. However, your online dating profile should convey the proper emotions. Here are some emotions that you should avoid when creating your profile.

Don’t Use Pity

If women read about your problems, how depressed you are or how life sucks, they want to get away. They want to close the browser, hit a video sharing site and watch a clip of Friends or Seinfeld, or do something that will erase the feeling of depression they got when they read your proﬁle. If you remind them that life is painful, there’s trouble around and the world will probably come tumbling down anytime soon, you’re going to drive them away. You don’t want that. But, Dave, all I have are painful experiences. How can I avoid talking about these with online dating sites?

There’s a thin line between empathy and pity, and if you can’t prevent yourself from mentioning something painful, you have to be extremely aware of this thin line. You can “mention” a painful past, but avoid talking about it at length. Dishing the dirt about your bad experiences will make it seem like you’re not yet over them. Instead, write about how your pain strengthened your spirit and turned you into the man you are now.

You have to understand that the girl who’s reading your proﬁle page might have gone through the same things. But, like you, she wants to get over these bad experiences and see them in a good way. Talk about the lessons you’ve learned, and how you’re progressing rapidly into a better life. Remember that strength of character and confidence is a heavy aphrodisiac to women this is what they really mean when they say a man is “strong”.

Don’t Convey Anger

Like it or not, we can’t choose who views our proﬁle in dating sites. The girls who will ﬁnd you there will be from all walks of life, and from any social level. They will have different belief systems, religions, political leanings, convictions. This means you have to take care not to mention something that will strike at a person’s inner core.

There’s a difference between being bold, edgy and unapologetic, and being downright rude will never get you a first date. If you’re unsure about which issues can anger a person, check the terms and conditions of the site you’re in, or think about the unwritten rules of the internet in general.

Issues such as hatred, violence, profanity, discrimination against race, gender and religion or political beliefs can spark a heated argument anywhere, and the virtual world is no exception. Besides, implying that you’re into these things will make her feel like she’s meeting a psycho and you don’t want that.

Don’t Be Boring

The worst emotion in the world is boredom, or ennui, the deﬁnition of which is “a feeling of listlessness and general dissatisfaction resulting from lack of activity or excitement.” When you describe yourself as average, normal, plain you will not meet women that you actually want to date.

She will feel bored and move on to ﬁnd some other proﬁle that will make her feel something, anything. Don’t get me wrong. You might think of yourself as average, normal or plain, but she doesn’t know that you feel that way.

Saying it out loud will plant the impression inside her head. Listen, women want to meet somebody who’s going to make their life more interesting and more fun.

The 10 First Date Commandments

By dicksinthecity

The first date is crucial – it can determine whether you will be seeing this person again or not. Here’s the ten essentials you CANNOT ignore!

What She Said:

First Date Commandments 1-7

1. Thou shalt not keep your phone on the table.

You need to give your full attention to your date. Do not text, call or check your email. If you must text a friend, do it in the ladies room.

2. Thou shalt ask him questions about his family

You are an extraordinary creature and so is he. Do not spend the whole date talking about yourself, makes sure you ask him questions and get to know him on a more personal level.

3. Thou shalt offer to pay half

Chivalry is not dead and its super sweet when a guy will pay for the tab but common sense isn’t dead either and you should never expect a man to pay. Even if he did ask you out, a woman should offer to pay or buy a round of drinks or leave the tip.

4. Thou shalt not talk about your ex boyfriend

Or any past relationships for that matter. A first date is a time to start new and fresh. The guy does not want to hear how your past relationships went sour or hear you bad mouth your ex. Past relationships is more 3 or 4th date material.

5. Thou shalt not get drunk

A drink or two might be just what you need to calm your nerves but getting smashed on a first date is never a good thing. By all means, have fun but do not get to the point of slurring your speech or misplacing your items, keep it classy. Besides, few first dates that end in puking have a second date.

6. Thou shalt brag about oneself

There is a huge difference between being cocky and being proud of you. A first date is a great time to share with him some of your accomplishments, career and socially. Show him that you have a pride in yourself and what you are doing. Also share what you hope to achieve in the future.

You don’t need to rattle off your resume, but you should be an alpha male. A girl who has a passion for something is always a turn on.

7. Thou shalt not treat a date like a therapy session

Maybe your roommate is a slob, or your mom yelled at you or your co-workers are lazy. A first date is not the time to vent all of this. You want to keep the conversation lively and positive not negative. You also don’t want him to think that he needs to somehow make things better or fix you.

What He Said:

First Date Commandments 8-10

There’s only ten first date commandments in the article, and she takes six. Is that the most sexist thing ever, or is the most sexist thing of all time? You decide.

8. Thou shall not read into everything.

Yes, first dates are basically interviews. With alcohol. And sex appeal (hopefully). And while it is only natural to evaluate your potential romantic partner and be aware for red flags, it shouldn’t feel like they’re sitting across the table from an IRS auditor or a CIA operative.

Try not to turn this date into an interrogation. Don’t let this feel like it’s a bank loan application, you know? You need to know a little about the person, not a lot. You aren’t filing taxes jointly, you’re just trying to figure out if you both want a second date.

9. Thou shall not be yourself.

Look, no one wants to date you. You can’t be yourself and expect to get laid or get a second date. You need to be your best self if you want the guy, the girl, and/or the booty.

Being your best self, doesn’t mean you’re lying to them or pretending to be someone or something you’re not, it means that you are on your best behavior, using confidence and at the absolute top of your game. If you’re not, why bother?

10. Thou shall not over-complicate things.  

Men are not women. They do not have a hidden agenda. They want to find out if they want to bang you, and if you’re cool enough to be around when they’re not, and if it’s going to be too much trouble or if they will have to jump through too many hoops to get in your pants. That’s it.

Women are slightly more complicated, so to speak, but you’re not building the space station here. You’re trying to evaluate the other person and see if you want to move forward.

It’s just a date. If it’s good, or bad, it’s just a date. Do not be afraid of rejection. It should be fun, above all else, and if this one doesn’t go well, there’s always the next one!

The Big Conversation Mistake 90% Of Men Make!

By loveandsex

Flirting can lead to big mistakes. The biggest mistake men make when interacting with beautiful women is talking in a monotonous, emotionless, dull “filling in time” way. While starting conversations with women seems hard enough, it appears even more daunting to keep a interesting, fun conversation going.

Don’t Change Your Behavior

When men hang around with their friends they laugh, make jokes, have fun and don’t take things too seriously. But for some reason, when a man finds himself interested in a beautiful woman, he usually becomes very reserved. He stops laughing. He stops making jokes. He stops teasing. He stops having fun. He stops being flirtatious.

When in the presence of a potential date, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe he has with his friends, he suddenly becomes boring. He won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, he won’t play around like he does with his friends, and he takes things way too seriously.

Why do men change their behavior around women? They usually don’t’ even realizing they are doing it. The reason is that men are so afraid of losing their only chance with a particular woman that they turn into “Mr. Serious.” Don’t mistaken this for confidence.

Men get so nervous talking to beautiful women that they lose all creativity and can’t make interesting conversation. Fearful that they might say something rude or challenging, they resort to boring “walking on egg shells” conversations, which results in no emotion.

Remember This Simple Law

While men can tell you that it’s important to not be boring when you try to meet women, they often don’t even realize when they’re doing it.

1. When you fear loosing a woman you become cautious
2. When you’re cautious you become serious
3. When you’re serious you become boring
4. When you’re boring women aren’t attracted
5. When women aren’t attracted you don’t get a date

Men have such a strong “I must have this girl” attitude that the more they have physical attraction to a woman, the more serious and boring they become in their poor attempts to date them.

Don’t Beg Her!

Although films and television strongly encourage the idea of begging women, it doesn’t work. These values are used to evoke emotions for the movie audience, and in people take it to heart and buy into the idea that this behavior will lead to success. It always seems like Mr. Romantic is doing the right thing by standing outside a balcony window every night singing love songs, reading poetry and bringing flowers until his dream girl finally falls in love with him.

While these actions may seem romantic and work in movies, we don’t live in the movies; we live in the real world. Women can smell manipulative men ten miles away and have no respect for their child-like behavior.