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Phone Flirting Tips

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Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or dating on the phone, you’re going to find yourself having a conversation with your partner on the phone at one point or another. While “phone dates” may not seem as important as face to face dates, how you carry on the conversation with your partner makes an impact. Here are some tips on how to get it right and make a great impression.

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Tone Of Voice

Your tone of voice and how you speak makes an impact on the overall conversation, in addition to what you say. Don’t use the same tone of voice you would use if you were on the phone with your mother, your kids or even your boss. Use a completely different tone of voice, similar to what you would use if you were on an actual face to face date with this person. Lower your voice and speak softer and more slowly. Remember, even though you are on the phone, it is a date! Relax, picture your partner in your head and let your tone of voice become what it would be if you were talking to them in person.

Body Language

Believe it or not, your body language will make a huge difference in how you sound on the phone to your partner. You may be trying to sound sexy and sultry, but if you’re busy doing the dishes, doing the laundry or even occupied with the computer or television, it’s going to come through in your voice. When flirting on the phone, you don’t want to sound busy, stressed, tired or preoccupied. Stop what you’re doing and sit back and relax. Lie on the bed or the couch and let your body language mimic the tone of voice that you’re using. If it helps, put on some comfortable or even sexy clothing and light some candles to help set the mood and get you in the right frame of mind.

Be Present In The Conversation

One of the worst things you can do on a phone date is to be listening to someone and start checking off your to do list in your head, or allowing your mind to wander in other ways. Your partner deserves better than accurately timed “uh-huh’s” and “yeahs.” Be present in the conversation. Shut off the television, go to a quiet place and focus yourself on the conversation at hand. Listen to them, ask intelligent questions and provide intelligent answers to the questions they ask you. You can even take notes at this point if you want. For example, if your partner mentions something they like or don’t like, make a note of it so you can remember later.

Let The Real You Shine Through

Don’t try to be fake when flirting with your partner, because sooner or later you’re going to get busted and they’re going to see right through it. Part of the beauty of flirting on the phone is that you can let the real you shine through. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think they’ll like you better that way. Just be yourself! Be honest and kind, and stay true to who you really are. Your partner will appreciate that they are getting to know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to be.

Rich Man, Poor Woman: Dating Outside Of Your Economic Class

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Money isn’t everything. Money is no object. Money is the root of all evils. Money can’t buy you happiness. There sure are a lot of idioms and quotes about the worthlessness or evils of money. While it has an extremely important function in our society, it’s widely accepted that it has no place in a relationship. Yet it can have a way of sneaking up in a relationship and forcing its presence to be known anyways. The most common way it does this is by forcing the couple to acknowledge their differences where finances are concerned.

Will Financial Differences Tear You Apart?

A difference in economic class has a way of putting strife into an otherwise happy relationship, of even possibly splitting people apart. Simple situations like treating your partner to a fancy dinner (or worse, expecting when the check comes that they will pay half of a dinner they cannot afford) can make that person feel insecure. Maybe it’s your anniversary and your partner lavishes you with jewelry, while all you could afford for him was a card and a tie. Maybe you are planning a wedding or a vacation. You, with your enviable savings account, want a lavish wedding or two-week-long luxury cruise, while he, with only pocket lint in his account, simply cannot afford it.

These situations can inadvertently give you the upper hand in the relationship if you are the wealthier, or make you feel insignificant and unworthy if you are the poorer. It can add tension and resentment to even the most loving of pairs. One source of tension can come from you feeling like a gold-digger (someone who is with a man or woman just for the money), if your partner is always doting on you. If you are the richer of the two, you may subconsciously wonder if he or she isn’t with you simply because of your wealth.

How To Prevent Money From Destroying Your Relationship

Nevertheless, it depends on the personality of the people involved and of how they handle this situation. Maybe they have reached an understanding, in which one person doesn’t mind being doted upon. In that case, these extravagances can seem surreal and exciting, an experience he or she might not have otherwise had if not for the partner.

One unexpected benefit might be the differing viewpoints each person can provide to the other, having been raised in or living in vastly different social scenes. Maybe the more financially secure partner has insight into taxes, IRAs, or investment skills, which could be helpful to the other. Or maybe the partner who grew up poor can provide a dose of humility if the other starts throwing around their money a little too casually.

The best way to keep money from ruining your relationship is to always communicate, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. Discuss each of your ideas for gift-giving, for paying bills, for treating one another to dinner. With time and understanding, you may find a middle class, I mean, middle ground is possible.

How to Chat Safely Both Online And Off

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Protecting your identity may seem like common sense, but when we start flirting, chatting, and enjoying ourselves a little too much, we can sometimes forget that there are predators (sexual, identity theft, etc) both online and off. Here are some key things to remember next time you start feeling a little too comfy with the person on the other end of the line – whom you’ve never actually met.

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Trust Your Instincts

Your instincts are one of the best ways to tell if someone is for real or not. Your body has ways of letting you know that something isn’t right, and if you start getting that feeling, it’s best to trust your gut. You may know exactly why you’re not feeling comfortable with someone when dating online, but then again, you may not. Someone may seem on the level at first and even second glance, and everything might seem to check out. Logically, there might not be any reason for you to be suspicious. You may only have a “feeling” that something isn’t quite right, but just because you don’t know “for sure” doesn’t mean you need to ignore it. If you feel like something is up, it likely is. Trust yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be uncomfortable with someone simply because you aren’t sure why. In many instances, it’s better to follow your gut.

Guard Your Privacy

It never hurts to be extra cautious and extra safe. Until you really, really get to know this person both online and off, it’s important that you guard all aspects of your privacy. Do any and all talking through a safe source, such as an anonymous phone chatline or an anonymous online dating website. Never give out your email address, your real name, your telephone number, your address or where you work. Instead of worrying about what is safe to share and what isn’t, keep it simple and don’t share anything until you’ve really gotten to know someone and are able to trust them.

Know When To Get Out Of A Freaky Situation

If you suspect you might be talking to someone who isn’t on the level, or have even met them in person, don’t be afraid to get yourself out of a bad situation A.S.A.P. You don’t owe anyone anything and your safety and well being is your top priority when dating and chatting online and over the phone. While there are some very good liars out there, many of them will give you several clues that will let you know that something just isn’t right. For example, be on the watch for angry outbursts and manipulative language or behavior. Do not tolerate disrespectful comments or any type of derogatory behavior towards you. Watch out for inconsistent information such as birthdays, horoscope signs, age, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Many people who lie will tell you one thing at one time and something completely different another time because they’ve completely forgotten what they’ve lied about in the first place. Also, another telltale sign that something is amiss is evasiveness. Someone who is honest and straightforward won’t have any problems answering reasonable questions, but someone who has something to hide will often skirt the questions or provide evasive, vague answers. If you feel that you’re in a situation that is not 100% honest, it’s time to cut all ties and move on.

May-To-December Romances: Can They Last Over Time?

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Lolita. Harold and Maude. American Pie. Marked age differences in a romance are nothing new to the world of literature and film. However, are they really conducive to modern-day relationships? Can two people of differing generations find a connection that transcends the decades?

Younger Man + Older Woman Or Older Man + Younger Woman?

The first aspect to consider is the genders as they relate to the ages. Would an older man/younger woman combination be more likely to succeed than an older woman/younger man relationship? Not necessarily, but it is more acceptable by society’s standards. Nowadays, a young woman on the arm of her older partner would not cause one to even bat an eyelash. The stigma of an older woman courting a young man is slowly dissipating, but the situation is still likely to draw jokes about her being a “cougar.” Because of that stigma, it is often harder to be taken seriously as a legitimate couple.

Spring-Time Perks

One of the best ways to succeed in a May-to-December romance is to find a way of bridging the gap. For instance, if you are a young woman (or man) with no interest in the wild dating scene, you may be looking for someone to settle down with right away. Meanwhile, an older man (or woman) has focused on his/her career for most of their adult life, and now they are ready to start a family. These people are able to meet halfway to fulfill their common goals or desires.

Cold Weather Drawbacks

The relationships that seem doomed to fail are the ones in which the couple does not have a connection deeper than appearances, money, or other superficial perks. For example, an older man may proudly find himself the target of his friends’ jealousy when he starts dating a hot 18-year-old. However, the disappointments quickly pile up when he realizes what may accompany this particular age: no previous adult relationships, insecurity, partying lifestyle, and little “real world” experience. Also, you may enjoy the vigor of your younger lover. Yet, what happens if you are ready to have a baby or to move to the countryside, but your energetic partner isn’t ready to settle down?

And Over Time?

Moreover, generations have widely varying ideals, values, and goals from the next. One woman, whose parents are 20 years apart in age, shared her experiences. While the age difference didn’t matter when they were in their 30s and 50s, respectively, it certainly made an impact when they hit their 60s and 80s. When she was younger, the mother hadn’t minded her husband’s old-fashioned views about “a woman’s duties,” such as rearing the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Yet as an aging woman, she no longer had the energy to do all the housework. Also, as he grew older, he became less interested in such activities as traveling—even though she was still into traveling the world.

“While a big age difference is irrelevant for a time,” she concluded, “it’s almost guaranteed to cause problems if you’re still together when the older person is actually old. They have a good relationship despite their differences, though. They knew what they were getting into and decided they loved each other enough that they’d deal with it.”

Dating In The Bread-Line: How To Deal With Your Partner Being Unemployed

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Newsflash, everybody: we are living in a rough economic time. No, seriously, we are. Previously coveted gadgets are now considered frivolous. Businesses are dropping faster than the nation’s morale. Millions of Americans have been laid off at least once over the last few years. Because of this, the idea of your significant other suddenly being rendered unemployed and dating during a recession is not all that far-fetched. “Got it,” you think, “but how do I deal with it?”

Should You Fork Over The Dough For Your Date?

First, how long have you been together? If it hasn’t been very long at all, stepping up to support him or her could set a bad precedent for the future of this relationship. However, if you are already living together and have committed a major portion of your lives to each other, this should be a no-brainer. Try doing a few things to recession proof your relationship before the going gets too tough.

Second, how long will he or she be able to get by? Is there an emergency savings account that can be accessed? Do you have money you would be willing to loan? Did the employer give them a severance package? These situations may make the transition easier for the both of you. This is a time when couples must work together to find a solution.

If there is no backup plan, get one…fast. Now is not the not the time for your partner to host X-Box tournaments to all the unemployed people on the block. They should be sending out resumes left and right, stapling them to lampposts, if necessary (no, not really). You can help by writing up the resume if you are skilled with business writing. If you aren’t, offer to help by looking it over a couple times. Meanwhile, your partner should look into the possibility of getting a part-time job to sustain them until a full-time job comes along.

Supporting Your Partner During The Rough Patches

The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive and avoid financial infidelity. This is a very difficult time, one in which a person feels lowly and burdensome. Reassure them that they’ll find something. When they start to feel down on themselves, help with the online search or tweak their resume to fit each job. Having a support system will keep him or her motivated. Work with them on interview skills. Offer to introduce them to people in your network, people who could possibly help them secure a position. Try not to make money an issue or talk about money much if you can during this time. It’s stressful for all, but making them feel worse about it will not help matters.

Finally, while you love and adore this person, keep a wary eye open. Don’t let them fall into the habit of depending on you, of letting you do all the work. You don’t want to constantly hassle them about job-hunting or networking. However, if you never see them making progress toward finding a job and the high score in PacMan keeps growing with each passing day, they may be taking advantage of you and your good nature.