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Q&A: Will It Be Me Or Her Ex?

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Choosing between two good things is not the easiest thing to do, whether you’re deciding on what dessert to get or which guy you want to be with. However, if you’re one of the good things that a girl is choosing between, it can make for a pretty uncomfortable situation. Is she going to choose you or someone else? What should you do?

Question: I courted a girl 4 months ago and want her to be my girlfriend, but she still loves her ex-boyfriend. but she just told me that she has feelings for me. What should I do?

–Facebook Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXgv0hY66pU&feature=channel[/youtube]

The Decision Is Up To Her

Like it or not, she is the one who will have to make the decision in this situation. Does she want to work things out with her ex-boyfriend (and this depends on the reason he’s her ex and not her current beau) or does she want to try having a brand new relationship with you? Unfortunately, there’s really nothing you can do to influence her decision except being supportive of her. Encourage her to sit down and really think about what she wants. This may be uncomfortable for you to do, but if you don’t support her thinking through this decision and she chooses you, you’ll forever wonder if she’s wishing she would have chosen him. She has to be sure.

Don’t Let Her Play Both Sides

A choice between two men she has feelings for is difficult, and many women in this situation have simply neglected to make a final decision. They end up riding the fence and being wishy washy – a way of getting their cake and eating it too. While you need to support her making a decision, allowing her to play both sides is only going to cause everyone involved pain and emotional damage. She needs to make a concrete decision and stick with it once she’s decided. If she chooses you, she needs to discontinue having contact with her ex-boyfriend. If she chooses him, do the right thing. Don’t call, don’t text and let her go.

Don’t Put Her On A Pedestal

When a guy finds a girl he really likes, it’s tempting to put her on a pedestal. It’s tempting to believe that she’s special, she’s different and she’s THE ONE. Even if she chooses another man over him, he’ll still try to contact her and be in her life in some form or another hoping against hope that she’ll eventually see they were meant to be together. This is only going to prevent you from finding someone who does want to be with you and try having a great relationship! If she chooses her ex-boyfriend, realize that she’s not the only fish in the sea. Sure, it’s going to sting. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, sad and even angry. These feelings are all normal. But at the end of the day, she’s not perfect – she’s human. There are lots of other great catches out there, ones that you may very well develop fulfilling and satisfying relationships with and who do choose to be with you.

Q&A: Sex And The Long Distance Relationship

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Long distance relationships are difficult, but having a long distance relationship with someone you’ve been physically intimate with before makes it even harder. Not having that physical relationship and intimacy can make you feel terribly lonely, and can even be something that contributes to the dissolution of the relationship. How can you stay in touch with your partner sexually, even if they’re miles and miles away?

Question: I am far away from my family and girlfriend, how can I easily get the taste of sex?

–Facebook Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRi0BoJa8s4[/youtube]

Masturbation

Masturbation is probably the easiest way to satisfy your sexual desires while you’re in a long distance relationship. You and your partner can both masturbate while thinking of each other, and with today’s technology, it’s not hard to feel like you’re in the same room with them! Use a webcam and even audio chat for the most realistic experience. Trade sexy, naughty photos with your partner via email or even on your cell phone. Text dirty things to each other, and make tangible plans to see each other soon to help keep the spark alive. Many couples in long distance relationships also have old-fashioned phone sex!

Sex With Another Partner

Your girlfriend may or may not be into it, but another way to satisfy your need for sexual intimacy is to have sex with someone else while you’re away. For this to work, however, you and your partner must be in a totally confident and non-jealous relationship with each other. This almost never works out, but it certainly is possible if you and your partner are both okay with having an open relationship while you are far away. If this is something you and your partner agree on, always make sure to communicate with each other and be open and honest. Also, make sure that you and your partner end the “open relationship” as soon as you’re back together.

Abstinence

Your third choice when it comes to sex and a long distance relationship is to simply abstain from sex and wait until you’re back with your partner to experience physical intimacy. This may sound extremely difficult, but actually, people in long distance relationships do this all the time. The vast majority of partners do prefer to masturbate and use technology to keep the sexual intimacy alive, but some partners simply choose to wait. Sometimes waiting, however, can end in an affair, so make sure that this is something you and your partner are okay with doing and see it as something you and your partner can accomplish. If you’re not sure about your ability to stay abstinent for a long period of time, try masturbation and stay in touch with your partner.

Long distance relationships will never be easy, even with text, phones, webcams and audio chats. For a long distance relationship to work, you and your partner must be committed to each other – and committed to keeping the long distance part of the relationship as short as possible. There has to be an end in sight. Relationships that will be long distance indefinitely or until further notice generally don’t end well. If you are committed to your partner and vice versa, you will both do what is necessary to make finite plans to be together – physically – at some point.

Are You In A Relationship With A Boy, A Guy Or A Man?

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A fulfilling physical relationship can be amazing. The sex may be great, you may have a high level of physical compatibility, and every time you’re together it reminds you what a great couple you are. But what about beyond that? What would happen if, despite using protection, you suddenly became pregnant? Just because your partner is good in bed doesn’t mean he’ll automatically be good as a dad.

Instead of crossing your fingers and hoping that a journey of nine months will culminate in a wedding or at least a commitment, don’t you think it would be a better idea to find out now, before it’s too late, what kind of man he is and what you and your child would have to look forward to with him? It’s important to know if you’re with a man who understands the potential surprise consequences of sex, and feels an equal and unconditional responsibility no matter what the outcome.

In other words, it’s important to learn whether you have a boy, a guy, or a man.

A Boy

Boy sees girl, and the first thought in his head is what she would look like naked.

The girl introduces herself, and the boy immediately thinks that she wants him.

The girl gives the boy her phone number, and he’s starting to think that getting laid is a real possibility.

The girl agrees to a date, and the boy decides to bring a condom.

The girl allows a kiss, and the boy pushes it to second base.

The girl gives up and allows the touching, and the boy pushes on until he gets sex.

Sooner or later the girl wants a commitment, and which point the boy starts shopping for other girls.

This sort of story happens most often among teenagers, before either party has recognized their self-worth. Sometimes, however, the adult version of this scenario can have a lot of similarities.

A Guy

Guy sees gal, and immediately ponders what she would look like naked.

The gal smiles at him, and he knows she’s wanting him.

The gal says she’ll call the guy, but just to be safe he gives her his office voicemail.

The gal sets up a date, and the guy suggests early drinks on a Tuesday, just in case he needs to bail.

The gal pictures their future children, while the guy just hopes she doesn’t talk through the whole date.

The gal initiates sex, and the guy rehearses his story so he can get out of there as soon as possible.

The gal calls the guy constantly, while he thinks, I knew I should have bailed.

The gal writes him off as a typical male pig, while he wonders if she’d be game for some more sex.

A Man

Man sees woman, and wonders what she’s aiming for in her life.

The woman opens up a little to him, and the man wonders how genuine she is.

The man asks her out, and the woman accepts without hesitation.

The woman tells the man about her dreams and goals, and the man notes how much they have in common.

The woman notices over time that the man’s actions back up his words, he builds respect.

The man opens up to the woman completely, she drops her drawers.

The woman and man are honest with each other, and do their best to enhance each other’s lives!

To be close to someone is one of the most natural desires in the world, and along with that comes the desire to be touched, to be held, and to have sex. We are all on our own paths of growth, and when we start to want to build a relationship, it’s important to remember the differences between boys, guys and men, even if children aren’t involved.

Q&A: My Best Friend’s Girlfriend…

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It’s happened to many of us – our best friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend likes us, and we’re afraid of destroying their relationship. It’s a weird, uncomfortable type of threesome that can really weigh on everyone’s shoulders. What can you do in this sort of situation?

Question: My best friend’s girlfriend has feelings for me, and my best friend knows it but he still loves her anyway. I fear that her liking me is destroying their relationship because they are fighting all the time. I don’t want them to break up because of me, because they make the perfect couple. I need your help – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GLUu0dAAiM[/youtube]

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not a single thing you can do about how someone feels about you. You can’t change or stop their feelings, so if she likes you and has feelings for you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. So ask yourself these questions – Are you egging it on? Are you flirting with her and leading her to believe there is something going on between you? Or are you simply just aware that she has feelings for you? Everyone enjoys flirting, and it can be fun when someone likes you, even if you don’t plan on taking it any further than flirting. But in this instance, flirting back with her can be detrimental, no matter if you want to start a relationship with her or not.

It’s Time For A Sit Down

Everyone in this situation needs to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. Everything needs to get out in the open, because feelings that are closeted can only make a situation worse. Sit down with your friends at home, in a comfortable and familiar environment that is not in public. Don’t have this conversation over dinner in a public place! Have a few drinks to relax if you will, but anyone that has too many at this point is simply a ticking time bomb. Let everyone have a chance to speak here, because everyone is involved. Listen to your friend and his girlfriend, and keep an open mind.

Two Choices To Make

If you return your best friend’s girlfriends feelings, it makes the situation a bit more complicated. Both you her have a choice to make in this situation. Each of you must choose the relationship you value the most, and begin to pursue only that relationship. If you value the relationship with your best friend more than you wish to pursue a relationship with his girl, it’s important that you keep her out of your life as much as possible. If you want to try your hand at having a relationship with the girl, it’s time to say goodbye to your best friend. Unfortunately, in this situation, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. There’s no way you can pursue a relationship with her, nor can she pursue a relationship with you, without losing your best friend. Take some time to think about what really matters to you here and what you feel is the most important, because you might need to make a sacrifice that will change your life.

Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009

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We know how tough snagging a date can be, and how flirting or seducing someone can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, there’s hope for those of you who are sometimes intimidated by getting stuck in the “friend zone” or letting someone know you really like them and want to spend more time with them. This year, we’ve had some of our best flirting and seduction articles that give you the tips and suggestions you want on how to tell if someone likes you, how to attract a woman or man, and how to flirt and seduce someone you’re interested in. Whether you’re shy when it comes to dating and potential relationships or as confident as they come, check out 2009’s can’t-miss flirting and seduction articles!