Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for dating

How Women REALLY Look At Men!

By

Seduction is actually many different aspects of a puzzle, put together. Find out the truth about how girls view guys to up your seduction game!

She Does it So Fast!

It only takes seconds for her to evaluate your potential as a lover. Women revel in the world of first impressions and assign tremendous significance to what their guts tell them. “I just know,” she says.

It’s amazing how she thinks she’s got you all figured out just by observing how you walk, kiss or hold her hand. She notices everything, by the way, like how clean or dirty your shoes are, or how totally unorganized your closet is.

Men don’t have that gift (or curse). We’re more into the ‘big picture’ kind of stuff. How big are her breasts? How big is the storage space, how big is the engine? Clean shoes are always good, but for us, it’s not a make-or-break thing. As long as they fit and function as barrier between our stinking feet and the wet pavement, it’s all good!

Our bedmates are a little bit more complicated though – they’re crazy about details! Their senses are attuned to minutiae. Looking at things in angles and magnifications that we usually don’t go for. While guys fantasize of having a larger penis, women yearn for the little things – those tiny sexual tweakings that make a big difference.

Women Notice Details – So What?

Well, it’s really not so bad -UNTIL THEY START READING INTO THOSE DETAILS – no thanks to her ultra-active brain. Women give meaning to any minor thing we do and read volumes from the mundane.

So how does this figure into the sex?

Let’s just say your life would be much easier if women don’t read so much into your actions inside the bedroom. How you caress her for example, can be interpreted in uncanny ways. Simple things like a touch can brand you as a: lover, selfish self-centered bastard, groper, touchy-feely gay man, or Don Juan.

They evaluate the way you kiss and relate it to your personality. So you can be ‘gentle and sweet,’ ‘fast and furious’ or ‘so-so’ without even knowing it. They also notice if you’re licking clockwise or counterclockwise during oral sex, or if you really don’t know what the heck you’re doing down there and are just waiting to hit pay dirt.

For guys, these details, much less their interpretations, don’t make squat of a difference. As long as we get to score on those huge breasts tonight, we’re happy.

Symbolic Sex?

But sex has a glaring symbolic meaning for women. They’ll leave lame husbands and boyfriends for others who make love much better precisely because for them, sex is not just sex. Your actions reflect how you see her as a person, how you value her feelings and treasure her satisfaction.

Remember that your actions will not be taken at face value as sex will have ramifications outside the bedroom.

If you’re terrible and inconsiderate inside the love chambers, she will respond as a nasty, overbearing diva outside – which is a reality shared by many husbands everyday. At the same time, if you give her an amazing time, positive consequences will spill out – and her nagging just might stop.

For her, sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum, so watch out. Through all the meanings women attribute to details, they are able to deduce anything and everything.

So if you want your game tighter than 90% of the men out there, better start appreciating details. Notice the way you kiss or touch. Imagine how would that feel to her. Do that and be in a position to create a lot of these different details.

Why He Didn’t Call You Back

By

Dating tips can help the first date go without a hitch, but what do you do if the guy you like doesn’t phone back? What’s the deal?

It’s never easy when you meet a guy that you like and he doesn’t call you back. If you’ve gone out a few times and you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, it’s especially infuriating. This is an enigma that many women find themselves in. You were laughing, there weren’t any gaps in the conversation; you even left with a kiss. So what’s his problem? Many women make the mistake of actually calling the guy. Traditionally, men are the ones that should be vying for the woman’s attention. In this modern age, many women are taking the reins and trying to at least give it a mild effort to get together. But not all of the blame can be put on him. Sometimes you have to take a look inward. Here are the most common reasons that he didn’t call you back and why you shouldn’t call him.

Control

Control is a characteristic that not all men can handle. At even the slightest hint of a control issue, most men will walk away. If you insist on a restaurant or he sees you as anything other than warm and easygoing, he probably deleted your number right after the date. Being confident in yourself and knowing what you want is great quality to have, but some men are not turned on by it. In this specific case, it’s probably best to move onto the next one. If he wants to get in touch, he’ll call you.

Being Too Nice

Did you send him a thank you text after the date? While a lot of guys would appreciate this, some guys actually don’t like it. When some men are pursuing women, they like to be the chaser. When a girl concedes to liking him, he might lose interest. This is especially true with men that are in business or make a lot of money. They love the thrill of the chase and when that is gone, they are left with nothing –so to speak. There is a difference between being grateful and them perceiving you as desperate. Keep the thank you texts to a minimum. Words work a lot better than texts anyway. Say thank you right after the meal and then once again before you leave for the night. This will stick with them without coming off as desperation.

Blowing Up The Spot

How many texts or calls have you made in the last couple of days? How many of those were reciprocated? When you send a text and he takes a couple of hours to respond, he’s most likely busy or not interested. We live in a world where our phones have the ability to get online, purchase items and make the traditional call. For most of us, our phones are our lifelines. If you send him a text and he takes more than 6 hours to respond, you might not want to call him again. Wait for him to call or text you. Alternatively, responding to a text instantly can come off as desperation. If you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, give him a call to see how he’s doing. If he doesn’t call you back or responds to a call with a text, rest assured that he’s not putting you at the top of his priorities.

The Prima Donna

Were you rude to the waitress? Did you get hammered? Nice guys are not going to call you out on your actions if they don’t know you. They will just sit there and take it until the meal is over. They will say things like “I’ll call you” or “We should do this again,” but they have no intention of calling you ever again. Think about whether there was anything that you did on the date that would have turned him off. If you were the epitome of perfection, he might just be giving you a little distance to show that he’s not completely desperate. If you were a complete terror, learn from the experience and do it differently next time.

Exceptions

There are exceptions that must be considered. A death in the family, emergency at work or a busted pipe in his home are obviously appropriate reasons that he hasn’t called you back. But one thing that you must take into account is how many times these “emergencies” are occurring. If it’s truly a one-time thing, he probably feels bad and would like to make it up to you. If it’s happening frequently, he might be seeing a couple of girls at the same time. Gauge his excuses and make your own mind up of whether or not to give him a second chance.

He Doesn’t Want To “Label” Us – What Does That Mean?

By

Good relationship advice would be to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. But what do you do if your S.O. refuses to talk about it?

What does it mean when a guy says he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t ‘a labels guy?”

What She Said:

I’m guessing it means he wants to have his cake and eat it too. As played out as that old adage is, there’s a reason it’s still around. Without labels, your guy is freed from defining the relationship while still reaping the benefits of your company. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you having fun and, if so, why do you care what it’s called?

One thing that’s crucial in this equation is time. How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve only been hanging out a few weeks (or even a few months), back off from trying to define the terms. No one likes to be pushed and you’ll never see a guy run faster than if you try to pin him down. Men are attracted to women who have a sense of independence; needing to give a name to something doesn’t always reflect that trait.

On the other hand, if it’s been a prolonged amount of time and everything (other than the title) points towards the two of you being serious and exclusive, you deserve to know. You have the right to this information, both sexually and emotionally. If you’re in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous), you can explore options other than condoms. A “title” also gives you the go ahead to release your heart and invest in your companion emotionally.

Follow your instincts. If you feel enough time has passed, broach the subject. If he’s willing to happily give you an answer, proceed. If a significant amount of time has passed and he still hems and haws, pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ll figure out the rest from there!

What He Said:

Well, he could be a player who is into dating them and letting them go. Or maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship and is trying to give you realistic expectations of where he’s at. Or maybe you seem a bit clingy or that you’re moving too fast to soon, as least as far as he’s concerned, and he might want to put the brakes on.

Then again, who the hell cares what it means. How am I supposed to know anyway? What am I? Oprah? Seriously, it doesn’t really matter what it means, because clearly you have a problem with it. It’s not sitting right with you for whatever reason. You’re clearly having a gut reaction on this one. So why aren’t you going with it? Why are you asking two people you don’t know?

Ask him straight up. Don’t let him give you anything other than a straight answer. Let him know that whatever the answer is is okay, but you do want to know where he’s at, no bullshit. And you have to mean that. He may think it’s a trick, so assure him it’s not. It may take some prying, but you will get the answer out of him. Evaluate it, and either move forward or don’t.

 

 

 

 

4 Ways To Be An Amazing Boyfriend

By

A relationship requires effort from both partners. She’s putting it in, but are you? Are you really such a great boyfriend, or is she just hanging on to you until someone else comes along? Here are four ways you can make your relationship incredible, so your girl will want to be with YOU and only you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-AScZyAfAE&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Don’t Be A Boring Boyfriend

Girls want a guy who knows how to have fun. Don’t be boring – strive to plan fun, exciting things for you and your girl to go out and do. Don’t just sit at home on the couch eating take-out and watching movies or playing video games. While staying in and eating bad Chinese food in front of a DVD marathon is really fun every once in awhile, it’s not something she wants to do all the time.

Plan ways you can show her a great time, whether it’s taking her out to a new restaurant or club you’ve never been to before, or doing something really adventurous like rock climbing or horseback riding. Making her feel great by getting out and doing things (and showing her that you’re interested in doing things with her) is one of the best ways to prove that you’re a great partner – and not boring at all. Also, learn how to carry on a great conversation and engage your partner mentally. Women are so emotion and mind oriented that if you learn how to give her mental and emotional stimulation often, she will really love spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Be Someone That She Can Be Proud Of

Yes, there are many girls that will fall for a bum. But most of them won’t. If they do, you can pretty much bet that before long, she’s going to get tired of you and move on to someone else. Instead of letting that happen, be someone she can really be proud of. Be someone that she can tell her friends and family about. Be a motivated, confident, ambitious and energetic guy!

Have a job or other things going on in your life that she can tell other people about, such as a killer position at a popular company in your city, or volunteering as a firefighter for the local fire department. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’re actually doing something and not nothing, and that it’s something your girl can brag a little about!

You also want to have things of your own that you’re doing that don’t always involve her. Have fun with your guy friends! Don’t be too clingy or suffocating, because if you are, your relationship won’t last long. Have things that you love and are passionate about in your life that don’t necessarily have anything to do with your girlfriend at all. Encourage her to go out and spend time with her girl friends and you do the same!

Value Your Time Together

Too many guys out there take their partners for granted when they’re in a relationship. They may rush through the dating process to have sex, or they may just get so comfortable with their partner that they take for granted any time spent with them. Don’t be that guy! Make sure that you take the dating process step by step, and enjoy each different phase of your relationship. When you’re on a date with your partner, make sure that you are fully present and that you’re engaging your partner in conversation. You want to be paying attention to her, not the game on the TV behind the bar or the cute waitress.

Also, show your partner that you really value her by making her feel sexy. Compliment the outfit she’s wearing and tell her that she’s beautiful. Take her on dates that allow her to dress up and do her hair, so she feels sexy and beautiful when she’s around you. If you’re always hanging around the house and she never gets the chance to get out of her sweatpants or put her makeup on, she’s not going to feel good about herself at all. When you touch her, tell her how soft her skin is or how nice her curves are against you. Make her feel like a million bucks!

Develop A Close Connection With Her

Don’t wall yourself off from your partner emotionally. Women speak the language of emotion, so if you’re a robot with her, she’s not going to be interested in you for long. Let your guard down some and make yourself a little vulnerable to her. Share how you’re feeling about her and about other things, and respond to the things she’s feeling when she tells you about them.

Work on developing a close connection with your partner and when you do achieve that level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, everything is going to be better. Sex is better when you’re really close with someone, and life is better in general when you have someone you can share those intimate details with.

Is My Woman Spilling Secrets About Our Relationship?

By

A relationship should be a private thing between two people. Your lips are sealed, but hers never stay shut! How do you handle a woman who’s an open book when you’re super private? how do you prevent her from talking about your naughty bits and other intimate details?

What She Said:

Well, it’s pretty simple – you can “find out” by asking her directly and you can “get her to stop” by requesting her to, respectfully, cut it out.

Just Ask!

It sounds like I’m being a smart ass, but it’s actually a fairly straightforward solution. You don’t want to be in a relationship where there’s a bunch of game playing going on. The phrase “finding out” makes it sound like you’re going to be snooping around on your mate. That doesn’t sit well with me and, my guess is, it probably won’t sit right with her either.

If your partner is, in fact, talking about everything in your relationship to her girlfriends, ask her to cease and desist. Keep in mind that everyone needs an outlet outside of their partners – her pals allow her to vent safely, which actually helps keep you off the hot seat. However, while friends are very important, they shouldn’t supersede your romantic connection.

It sounds like you’re worried private things in your relationship are being discussed, and that’s left you feeling vulnerable. That’s perfectly natural – no one likes the thought of his or her privacy being compromised. While your girl might need to spend an evening dishing with the gals over martinis, it’s perfectly reasonable to put some boundaries in place. This is out of respect for you and the health of your relationship.

Keep The Sex Talk Off Limits

There are some things that are off limits – even to girlfriends. I’d never divulge my husband’s confidences for some Happy Hour chatter – well, then or any other time. The size of his penis and our sex life is for us to share – not fodder for my gals. Acknowledge to your woman that you understand a woman needs her friends, but let her know subjects that would make you uncomfortable if other people knew. If you’re in a good relationship, your partner will respect your request and all should be well.

What He Said:

Yes, you should ask her and yes, your partner shouldn’t say certain things to her girlfriends, but the real question is how will you know?

So your partner says nothing is said about your penis and how you use it, or whatever else you don’t want her friends knowing. How do you know your partner won’t tell them?

You kind of have to just trust her. If your S.O. loves you, it shouldn’t be an issue. Your partner probably won’t be saying this stuff to her friends, but if your partner is, ask her to stop. Your S.O. should respect your boundaries and needs in a relationship. (Beware the girls who say they are “an open book” that means they blab their shit to everyone).

Just make sure to say things like “this is something that stays between us” or “don’t tell your friends about this” so your S.O. can’t come back and say “you never told me not to tell” cause women are crafty like that.

Seriously though, you should know the answer to this question. If you don’t trust her by now, why are you with her?