dating – Page 36

Get Rejected? Use It To Your Advantage When Picking Up Women…

Most men aren’t skillful or successful when it comes to meeting and dating women.

There are two main reasons for this: they don’t get out there and sell themselves, meet women and make connections. And when, once in every blue moon, they do try it on with a girl, they fall flat on their faces, not knowing how to handle the situation, the conversation, the interaction and attraction.

There’s a single word that ties these two reasons for failure together, it’s rejection.

Men who would love to meet and date a beautiful girl or two choose not to go out and actually try to make it happen, on the most part, because of a deep-seated fear of rejection.

They hate the idea that they might get shot down and embarrassed. And they know that if they try their hardest and STILL get rejected, they definitely have no hope with women, now or ever.

So, they prefer to stay at home with the vague ambition that one day they might make something happen. On the other hand, there are men out there that do try to meet and get together with girls and, unfortunately, they get rejected every now and then.

Once it’s happened a couple of times, those brush-offs take their toll on the guy: his confidence dwindles, his sense of humor begins to fade, and most noticeably, his motivation vanishes.

He becomes like 80% of the rest of the male population: a dreamer and not a do’er.

Recognize the Positive

The first thing you need to do is recognize the POSITIVE function rejection serves. You need to define it in your mind. What is it and what does it mean? Rejection often comes in the following forms:

1. You’ve been talking to a girl for a while and things seem to be going well but when you ask to see her again or suggest swapping numbers she suddenly freezes up on you and shuts you out.

2. You try to get talking to a girl but she only gives you the minimal amount of recognition possible and doesn’t allow you to start a real conversation.

3. You’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl but have yet to take it further. When you try to progress the relationship, she clams up and becomes distant and seemingly uninterested.

Whatever type of rejection you’ve experience or fear the most, you need to fully recognize what it is. It’s a sign that one or more components of your game, that is, your ability to be successful with women, isn’t functioning correctly.

It’s like a flashing red light in a submarine, it’s telling you something ain’t right and, most importantly, that you need to DO something to fix it. That’s the key point most men consistently miss.

Rejection Is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

They think being rejected is the end of the line, game over. In fact, it’s simply a changing of the tracks on your path to success. Consider the following important points whenever you feel rejection negatively controlling your ability to do well with the opposite sex:

1. If a girl rejects your advances when you introduce yourself or try to start a conversation, it means she has decided that, for whatever reason, you aren’t someone she wants to get to know. However, remember this absolutely critical fact: she’s made her decision based on how you presented yourself in the short amount of time she knew/knows you.

Rethinking how you act, speak and behave can produce a reaction that falls at the complete opposite end of the scale from rejection and failure: one of success and triumph.

Don’t let a single brush-off impact your motivation or confidence, simply see it as a sign that you need to alter and rethink your strategy.

2. Never take things personally when you’re playing the seduction game. Although a girl might not be interested in you, it doesn’t mean she’s necessarily right to feel that way or correct in the assumption she’s made of you.

People make snap decisions and have knee-jerk reactions to people, places and situations every day, in the positive AND negative. Your goal is to make a good first impression and exude a strong sense of confidence and relaxation.

Once you do that, your bad luck seems to magically disappear and a new long-term streak of good fortune begins. (Which is actually thanks to the fact that you didn’t let rejection get you down and instead used it as a sign that you needed to change something.)

The Hypnotic Effect At Work

If you can remember the concepts above and use them when ‘out in the field’, you’ll notice an almost hypnotic effect most men out there would kill to have themselves.

Because, you see, it’s when you yourself can brush-off the brush-offs that real success happens and also what leads to you meeting and getting to know the girl of your dreams.

I’m Leaving You! Does The Punishment Really Fit The Crime?

By loveandsex

If you’ve been in a relationship where you or your partner threaten to leave or end the relationship when you’re angry, you’re not alone. In reality, this is often something people do out of frustration and desperation.

You may not be planning to leave or end the relationship at all, even though you’re angry now.

What causes you to act so extreme?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tisCh2DYOi8[/youtube]

Feeling Out Of Control

It’s easy for someone to feel out of control in a situation like that. One partner gets upset, the other gets upset and it goes back and forth, escalating until one or both partners feel completely out of control.

Being extremely angry at your partner can make you feel lost and helpless, and an escalating argument doesn’t help the situation any at all. It simply gets to a point where you feel so out of control of the situation that you want to say something, anything, to gain some control again over what is happening.

Threatening to leave or end the relationship puts you back in control and puts the ball back in your court. Your partner may say, “Fine, leave,” however this simply puts you back in the position of feeling out of control.

Arguments between couples often go on and on like this, until one or both partners get enough time and space to resolve the original argument. It might be difficult at that point, however, to even remember what the original argument was about!

Where Does It Come From?

Acting out in this way when you’re having an argument with your significant other really is a primal instinct. It comes out of fear, desperation and frustration. You’re desperate to gain control over the situation and you’re upset and frustrated that you’re even getting to this point in the first place.

You want something you say to make an impact, and in the heat of the moment, the phrase, “I’m leaving” may be the only one that seems it will make a difference. If you find yourself in this situation, you’re definitely not alone.

If You’re The Partner

If you’re the partner of someone who is threatening to leave, realize where this is coming from. Your partner is just hurt, frustrated and desperate. They’re probably not planning to leave nor did they even think about doing so before the argument happened.

It’s difficult not to react strongly to something like this, but if you stop for a moment and realize why your partner is actually acting this way, it might make it easier for you to understand that your partner probably doesn’t really mean anything by it.

Even though you might be angry at this point, it’s important to assure your partner that you’re in the relationship because you want to be, and you don’t want to see it end anytime soon. It’s important at this point that your partner knows you would care should the relationship end!

Expressing this to your partner can bring them down a notch from where they are in their frustration and probably help the argument to stop escalating. Then you can really sit down and discuss what is upsetting you and what the problem is, and begin working towards a solid solution.

Hairy Chests – Advice From A Woman Who Tells It Like It Is…

By chickinheels

A hairy chest. There are several things to consider here.

Some men simply cannot grow hair on their chests. Some men are `somewhat carpeted `when it comes to their layer of fur. And other men are somewhere in between.

This topic recently crossed my mind and I figured, why not write about it.. Especially since I happen to have a range of experience on the subject matter. So, here`s my take..

It is very rare that you will see a hairy chested man on the cover of a magazine these days. I would tend to lean towards thinking most women are good with a bare chested man. I highly doubt a woman would shun a man for having a hairless chest.

Options For Hairy Men

Thing is, if a man is incredibly hairy, that can definitely be a turn off for some. Here`s the good news, a hairy chest can be MAINTAINED or in some cases `tamed `might be a better choice of words.

The option of waxing may seem excruciating to some (completely warranted in my opinion) but it IS one option. I would suggest, if you are growing an out of control layer of hair, that you first attempt to trim it or depending on how thick it is, possibly shave it down with an electric shaver.

Don`t get caught up in the ‘ìt will grow back thicker’ train of thought. This is about maintaining the abundance of hair, so yeah, hopefully you`ll continue the up-keep and reap the benefits too!

Now, you don`t have to go all out with this and shed your body of all visible hair. Sometimes it just takes a bit of upkeep to avoid looking like you came from the 70`s era. Sometimes the odd minor trim job is all that`s required.

Now, if you are a single guy, and a hairy one, I highly recommend venturing into the `not so hairy`zone. I can`t say I would like to get to the point of stripping a man down and find an overwhelmingly hairy chest under his shirt.

However, I am but just one woman. Although, my girlfriends all feel the same way on this topic, so consider this to be a good base of opinion.

Find Out What Your Partner Prefers

If you are coupled up then simply ask your woman what she prefers. I view it in the same light as a woman who has never shaved between her legs or her bikini line. Why not try it. You just might like it, as may your partner, which is a bonus all around!

My personal preference is a man with a `sprinkling’ of chest hair. Just enough to say that he IS a man, and that I AM under, or on top of one (wink!). For me, back hair and thick arm hair is a turn off. Been there, done that and NOT going that route again.

It`s the same advice I`d give regarding a woman`s bikini line, trim it up, shave it down. Give it a try. Your partner may LOVE it and hey, you can always grow it back if grooming isn`t for you!

Single? Take the ‘Why Am I Single?’ Love Quiz, Maybe You’ll Find Out Why…

By loveandsex

Every once in a while, we run across something cool and want to share it with you…We came across this cool little quiz the other day.

Wondering why you’re still single? Or have you even given up wondering and just accepted being alone?

Some people enjoy spending some quality, relaxing time by themselves, you know, ‘me time’.

But that’s a very, very different situation from being lonely and alone – not having another person in your life. We’re pack animals and need that human contact, that personal presence, that comforting touch. For most people, being alone is a really depressing reality, and it basically sucks.

Well, stop it!

Take the ‘Why Am I Single?’ love quiz and maybe you’ll find out what you’re doing wrong. It’s a short, fun love quiz that may well help you find your way, or maybe find where you’re going the wrong way.

The short quiz walks you through some soul searching questions, to see what you’d do in certain romantic (or romantically related) situations. For example, how you would deal with your new love interest inviting you to meet their parents – maybe a little too early in the relationship. What would YOU do?

One particularly cool feature is that once you take the love quiz you can embed the widget (a link to the quiz) on your blog or MySpace page and it’ll show off your results along with a cutesy note.

Here are our results:

Jennifer – "I believe that any species who can’t work a toilet seat is inferior!"

Dan – "The women, they always escape"

It’s really fun and short (only 7 questions), so check it out at OnlineDating.org and let us know your results.

3 Simple Ways To Attract More Women

By tiffanytaylor

All single men would love to know how to attract more women, providing they’re not monks, gay or already Casanovas. I think that’s a fair statement.

So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

Worse yet, you don’t want to fall into the trap of you asking a stream of questions and her giving short answers. To avoid both of these problems, you should make sure you describe things in detail, in an interesting way. It’s good to tell a short story which is really interesting and funny, because it encourages the woman to do the same.

Many men avoid saying too much because they don’t want to take up too much time in the conversation, in case the woman gets bored. They don’t realize that by having the confidence to talk and describe interesting things, then hand the speaker role back to the woman, a man demonstrates social skill and, as a result, becomes more attractive to the woman.

3. Create Opportunities to Succeed

Without the chance to put the things you’ve so far learned into practice, you have no hope of attracting more women than you currently do. It’s like learning to strike a golf ball perfectly but never playing against someone in a real game.

So, you need to start going out regularly. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just pick a local nightclub, or some other highly populated social venue, and make it your second home. Force yourself to approach groups of people containing attractive women and start conversations with them.

You’ll soon see what works and what doesn’t and you’ll learn at lightning speed. Bear the rules of good conversation in mind when talking to the women and, as long as you look pretty trendy and can engage and flirt with those women, you’ll attract them.