Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for dating

Are You STILL Afraid Of Being Naked?

By

Sheer terror. You know the EXACT moment I’m talking about.

You’ve just gotten your new woman into bed, the lights are out (thank GOD!), and you’ve been pleasuring her to no end… touching… teasing… kissing… the place is ON FIRE.

You gently slide between her legs.

She gaps… and pulls you in closer… with her hands rubbing up and down your body… over your arms… over your back… and all of the sudden… out of nowhere… you UNCOMFORTABLY think to yourself:

“Oh shit, she just felt my fat roll”

or

“Oh shit, she thinks my arms are too skinny, I think she felt bone”

And at that single moment, a PRIMAL fear comes over you… “What if she… STOPS?!?”

Guys really don’t think they need to work out

I have to confess, in reality, no guy ever REALLY thinks that they need to work out, exercise, or get in better shape until a woman sees them naked. Sure, it seems like its a good idea… you know, for better health and all.

But you take a guy that’s standing naked for the FIRST time in front of a woman that he’s had his eye on… that he NEVER THOUGHT that he could land… and the phrase “sense of urgency” starts to take on new meaning.

When it hits

Do you think that this might play a little havoc on your inner game? You betcha it does.I’ve talked to your women.

What women say

And here’s what they’ve said.

Number 1: Most men that are ashamed of their bodies tend to be more TIMID in bed. They tend to lay on top of women, instead of pulling back… letting her see ALL OF YOU… including the “action” of your pecker moving in and out.

Number 2: Every man that they’ve been with that gets in better shape becomes a MUCH better lover overall. The “man” and his “skills” are the same… but her perception changes… as well as…

Number 3: Men that are in shape can DO MORE for LONGER than their out of shape counterparts. Lifting, moving, throwing, thrusting, etc… you get the drift.

Think about this for a second. Ask yourself this question. Is my woman thinking about ME when she masturbates? (she’s likely not)

And if she is…

HOW would those thoughts change if I was now built like a Greek God?

Food for thought…

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index.  To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

Divorced After 23 Years – How Do I Move On?

By

It’s difficult when any relationship ends, whether you’re the one who ends it or not.

It can be especially difficult if the relationship has lasted for several years, even twenty or more years. If you’re not the one who broke it off, being on the losing end of a break up or divorce can be a tough thing to handle.

How do you begin moving on? Where do you start?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

We have 2 kids and were married for 23 years and suddenly she asked me to leave and said it’s over. We’re now divorced and she’s dating again. Now she acts like she hates me.

All these questions torment me. I need answers. How do I move on when she won’t even talk to me?

— Youtube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsgC13nVftQ[/youtube]

The only thing you can control is yourself.

If your partner is the one who ended things with you, you probably feel rejected and out of control. You may want to find out why they left you or what went wrong. Your partner, however, may not be ready to give these answers to you and even more likely, they don’t know the answers either.

The truth is, you can’t control anyone but yourself. You can’t make your partner take you back, you can’t make them tell you why they left and you can’t make them act the way you want them to.

You can, however, control how you react to the situation. You can be petty and vindictive if you choose, but you can also be calm and forgiving too. Only you can choose how you act towards the situation. It will be more difficult to move on, however, if you choose to be vindictive or if you harbor ill feelings and anger towards your partner for ending things.

If you choose to take the higher road and work through your feelings of anger and ultimately let them go, it will be easier to move on.

Working through your anger.

After a relationship ends, it’s normal to go through the stages of grief. You lost something and someone that was dear to you and to the human psyche, it’s the same as if someone you loved passed away. You’re going to feel guilt, denial, anger and frustration. You’re going to be hurt and sad, and you’re even going to want to try to get back together with your partner.

The first step to moving on after a break up or a divorce is to realize that all the feelings you are having are normal. It may not help you feel any better right away, but telling yourself that “you shouldn’t feel this way” is not going to do you a bit of good.

When you’re feeling a particular feeling, let yourself feel it. Let yourself be angry and let yourself feel hurt. Then, let it go. Don’t harbor it. Don’t give those feelings a place to stay. Work through your anger and frustration rather than letting it consume you. In time, you’ll feel better about the end of the relationship and you’ll feel yourself start to move on. Don’t rush the process. It takes time.

The end of a relationship, especially a very long one, is tough for both parties involved. There may never be an answer as to what exactly happened to end the relationship because in almost all relationships, it’s more than a single thing. When you begin to focus on yourself and realize that you are in control of only you, you can start to let go of the hurt and anger and make room for a newer, happier state of being.

Webcam Love Affair – Will It Work?

By

In the digital age, internet relationships and love affairs are becoming more and more common.

Dating websites are running rampant and the invention of webcams and microphones, you can have an almost face to face conversation with someone else.

Unfortunately, many of these internet relationships don’t work out. Whether it’s a long distance relationship with a previous partner or someone you met on the internet, without physical contact, your relationship may wane.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m in a long-distance relationship with a guy I’ve never met. I’ve seen him on webcam, but that’s all. I seem to have fallen for him and I love him very much. We used to talk all the time, but lately we haven’t talked at all. The past few weeks, I’ve said only a few things to him and one of those times I was angry at someone and complaining to him. We seem to fight all the time and I don’t know what I could do to fix it. We’ve tried all sorts of things, but nothing seems to work!

Please help us! –Keely

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EyhgXriovo[/youtube]

Why Internet Relationships Don’t Cut It

Humans crave physical contact. From the time that we’re born, our bodies crave to be touched. It’s not necessarily a sexual need, it’s more of a physical need. We crave intimacy and closeness with other people, even if it’s just a hug or cuddling on the couch in front of a movie. Webcam love affairs and internet relationships are obviously lacking this very critical component.

If being apart from your partner is temporary, subsisting on webcam and phone communication is often enough to get you through until you are able to be together again. However, if your internet relationship is simply that, it can be difficult if not downright impossible to get the physical contact and intimacy you need from your partner to keep the relationship alive.

Online Introductions . . . Not Online Dating

Internet dating should be called internet introductions. It’s perfectly fine and actually quite helpful to introduce yourself to someone online through an internet dating website, because it helps you find the person that you think best fits your personality. Often, after a period of time communicating online and possibly over the phone, you can meet your partner in person and begin building a real life relationship.

Many people, however, forget to do that last part and confine the relationship to the internet only. This is a critical mistake that can cost you the relationship. An internet relationship isn’t enough to keep you and your partner satisfied, especially if it’s someone you met online.

If you really like your new partner, make an effort to meet them in person and try building a relationship with them.

Relationships are hard work.

It probably comes as no surprise that real life relationships are hard work. It takes a variety of skills such as listening skills, body language skills and interpersonal skills to make a relationship successful. If you get discouraged, it can be tempting to confine a relationship online for fear of getting rejected in real life.

This is no way to have a relationship! Take your time and have confidence in yourself to find someone that you like and that you can have a real relationship with. If you meet someone worthwhile, take the next step and meet them. If it doesn’t work out, take the time to find someone who you are more compatible with.

Dating and having real life relationships is a series of trial and error. If it doesn’t work out with someone, try dating someone else. You can also mix it up a little bit. Search online dating websites for matches while you also keep an eye out in real life for people you think you’d like to date as well. With some effort and a good attitude, you’ll find someone with whom you are compatible with and enjoy spending time and being intimate with!

What Should I Do if My Family Doesn’t Approve of My Lover?

By

If you find yourself in a situation where one or more family members don’t approve of your relationship with your partner, you’re not alone.

Often, family members won’t like a partner because they don’t think they’re good enough for you, or for other reasons.

It can be difficult trying to please everyone you care about, including your family and your partner. Does family come first?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My cousin and I have been closer than close for 2 years – Never letting anything get in the way. We are always there for each other. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 months and she has been recently single for 2 months. I’m in a good relationship and everything is going great. We even started having sex. My cousin is totally against it and now wants me to end my relationship with him. What should I do? He’s the only guy that I have been active with and I love him… but I also believe that family comes first. How could I get my cousin to see that were no different and that she shouldn’t try to intervene in my sex life?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxzhXsq9vRA[/youtube]

Making Your Own Choices

If you’re a legal adult, you can make your own choices about who you want to date and when. Perhaps you don’t want to date anyone or perhaps you want to date someone your family doesn’t approve of. Either way, it’s your choice. It’s no one else’s!

However, that doesn’t make it any less difficult of a situation to deal with if your family is consistently hassling you over who you’re dating. It can be hard to have a positive, successful relationship with someone if your family always has something negative to say about your partner, but it can also be hurtful to be in disagreement with your family over who you’re dating. What do you do? Who do you choose?

You Shouldn’t Have To Choose

You shouldn’t have to choose between your family and who you want to date. Your family should love and accept you no matter what. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. If your family is upset and doesn’t approve of who you’re dating, try having a heart to heart talk with them when your partner is not around. Let them know how much you care about this person and how much they care about you. Let them know that you’re really happy and that you want to continue seeing this person. Let them know politely that it really isn’t any of their concern who you date or who you don’t date.

Many times, if you give your family the chance to really understand that your partner makes you happy, they simply will let it go because they want the best for you. This doesn’t happen all the time though, and some people are stuck making a choice even though they shouldn’t have to.

Making A Choice

If you have to make a choice – as in, if your family is truly threatening to disown you if you continue dating someone they don’t approve of – step back from the situation and consider all the aspects of it on your own. Don’t let your partner or your family members have an influence on your decision. This is something you must do on your own!

Really think about what the members of your family mean to you and how much your partner means to you. Give yourself time to mull it over, because either way, it’s going to be a life altering decision. Once you’ve come to a decision, it’s important to let everyone know that you didn’t want to, nor should you have had to, make the choice.

Keep in mind, many people that choose their families over their partners end up falling out with their families later because it never is the same between them. Ultimately, it’s up to you whether you want to continue dating your partner or not. If they make you happy, it’s no one else’s business who you date!

The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

By

You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over.  She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next.  Now she is standing in front of you.  Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, “Uhhhh Hi.”  She says “hi” back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking.  How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away.  You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected.  You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you.  The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman?  It could have been any number of things.  Was it your breath? Your insecure body language?  Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face?  The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away.  This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not.  There have been volumes written about the science of attraction.  Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction.  However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

You can have any number of physical flaws but if there is one thing you must have, it is confidence.  People call it by different names but it all stems from the same meaning.  For example, pick up artists call it “inner game”.  Self help guru’s call it the “Law of Attraction.” Athletes call it “the zone.”  It’s all the same; to truly believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you’ll almost always get “confidence” as one of the answers.  It’s something that we all know  yet few of us utilize.  Why can’t everyone simply be confident and attract the person of their dreams?  Because confidence isn’t something you get over night.  It’s something that needs to be built over time.

How do I achieve confidence?

We generally achieve confidence in ourselves when we experience success.  You start with a small success, move on to achieving a bigger success and so on.  It’s a snowball effect.  You can’t start off by making a super giant snowball from the start because you will probably fail.  If you start with a little snowball and continue rolling it, you can turn something that was little into something big.  Little successes lead to big successes.  Each success gives you more and more confidence.

This is true in attraction.  If you’ve never approached a woman before, then you probably won’t have the confidence to take home a perfect ten the first night you go out.  You shoot for a small success first, persistently trying until you achieve it, then you move on to the next step in the process.  Start with approaching, then building rapport, then seducing.  Once you have had success with all of these, then you will have confidence, and this will cause attraction.

Persistence leads to success.  Success leads to confidence.  Confidence leads to attraction.