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The Right Way To Break Up With Someone

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A break up isn’t fun for either partner, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Here’s how to break up with someone the right way & minimize hurt feelings.

What She Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Breaking up is never easy but if you want to do it the “right” way you need to be completely honest with the other person. This honesty needs to happen face to face also. So don’t be the ass who broke up with someone via text or email. I don’t care if the relationship was short lived, be respectful and end it like an adult. If you are done with the relationship then you need to save both of you time and pain and end it. Sort of like ripping off a band aid, don’t draw it out.

When you draw it out by asking for space or time to think you are just making things worse and you know you want to end it but are just trying to be nice. You have to end it and be done with it all the while you need to give the person your reasoning for ending it. Don’t leave them questioning what they could or should have done different or make them question your reasons for ending it. Be honest about why you are breaking up. It might not be easy and it might hurt, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to tell the truth then leave them hanging with no clear reason of the break up. It hurts when you hurt someone you care about but in the long run it would hurt even more if you lied to them just to protect their ego.

Long Term Relationships

If you are ending a long term relationship, be prepared for a lot more hurt and be prepared to have solid reasons why you are instigating the break up. Do not give them the line “It’s not you, its me” because it’s them, everyone knows it’s them. After you do break up, you need to have the courtesy to return their stuff, anything that belongs to them that they left at your place.

Then rid your self of things that remind you of them. I am not a follower of feng shui but it makes sense that personal items can illicit emotions and holding on to their items might bring negative energy into your life. So go ahead and throw away their tooth brush and any other mementos that serve no purpose.

When it comes to social media like Facebook, it might be best to “hide” them from your feed and do not overly boast about your newly singleness. You can easily hide your own relationship status from your feed without having to declare that you are single. Also, cut off your communication with them and do not text or call. Your ex will need time to heal from the break up, to cry, to be sad, to be mad, etc. and since you are the cause of these emotions, you can no longer be a shoulder to cry on.

Short Term Relationships

If you are ending a short term relationship you still need to give your ex the same respect, but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it. Yes give them a reason why you are breaking up, but honestly you don’t need to worry too much about hurting them. You should still not make a big deal about the breakup on Facebook. If it was a short term relationship, you shouldn’t worry about taking new pics with other guys or being out and loving being single.

You might even want to consider defriending the person if you two don’t have many ties (e.g. similar friends). It can still be messy but just take into account their feelings and try not to destroy them. On that note, do not even mention being “just friends” that may come in time but if you just broke the heart of a person who cared for you, you need to distance yourself and do it fast.

The main idea here is whether you were in a long term or short term relationship, if you have fallen out of love, met someone else or no longer love your partner the same way that you used to and want to end it, then end it. Put your foot down and break up. This is for your sake and for their sake too.

What He Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Think of it as what it is: you’re firing someone. HR doesn’t give you a long drawn out emotional speech. They state the reasons, quickly and simply. It’s the bullet points they give you, not the in depth explanation. You don’t need it anyway, you already know what’s going on. They hand you your last check and then escort you out of the building. It’s not painless, it’s just as painless as possible.

That’s the way your break up should be. If you have their stuff, hand it to them when you break up, or just mail it back. Tell them simply and efficiently why it’s over. Then walk away or end the call. Less is more. The whole process should take no longer than five minutes. It may seem harsh, but it’s not. You’re just being professional about it and no one is really going to want this drawn out anyway.

Things Not To Do After A Breakup

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A breakup is tough for everyone involved – but you’ve got to have some dignity afterwards! Here’s what you need to avoid when you’ve been through a breakup.

What She Said:

Regardless of who ended it, its over. If it was your choice to end it, you must have had a good reason, and I hope you are feeling pretty confident about your choice. But, if it was him who broke your heart, you might be a hot mess of a woman. So, here are some things you should not do after a breakup that will help you heal.

Basically the last thing you want to do is act like Bridget Jones for weeks on end. Yes, you should take a few days to mourn the lose of a lover, but then you need to get your shit and yourself together. In order to do that, do not pour yourself a bottle of wine, play Alanis Morissette and cry into his favorite t-shirt. If he dumped you, you need to dump anything and everything that reminds you of him. Do not spend hours looking at photos of the two of you! That will just lead to you asking yourself where you went wrong, or asking yourself what you could have done differently.

That is all a waste of time, energy and will make you feel more depressed. You should also stop all forms of communication or means of communicating with him. Do not call, text or email him. I don’t care how drunk you are, believe me, there is no really cute story that he wants to hear, no funny joke he wants to hear, and he does not need to know that you thought about him. He will not be amused. Along that same idea, DO NOT Facebook stalk him. Do not check his Facebook page, his new photos or read into his status updates. You might even just go ahead and de-friend him.

It’s not easy, but holding on to ideas of him, or of his things or even just holding on to hope is not going to help you get over this breakup. The best thing to do is get back out there in the world! Go out with your girlfriends, live it up and be single again. While you’re at it, call up that guy you have always had a crush on and have some rebound sex. Like the old saying goes, the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.

What He Said:

It’s always best to rip the band aid off as opposed to removing it slowly. Get it over with. Cut off all ties immediately. Who cares why it happened? You’ll never really know and if you do find out you will probably wish you didn’t. Cut all ties. I mean everything. Delete their number from your phone. Cut all social media ties.

If they gave you something, get rid of it. It should be like a military cover-up: the relationship should be as if it never happened. Of course it did, you’re not lying to yourself, but you want to get rid of the reminders. You will still have the memories, but you don’t want anything around that triggers them, if you can avoid it.

Keep your mouth shut. Sure, you may want to talk about it with a friend or whatever, but do not blog about it. Do not post about what a jerk this person was on your Facebook, don’t do standup based on your relationship. You will only look like the idiot. It may feel good to do, but that’s it. You’ll look like the ass, and guess what? You will be.

Keep your mouth shut and speak only in positive, philosophical terms, if someone brings it up (everything happens for a reason, we just weren’t a good match, I wish him/her the best, etc). Obviously if they stole your couch or something, yes, call the cops, but assuming there isn’t a criminal element to your relationship, just move on, quietly, confidently and as positive as possible.

This is not to say you sugar coat anything, but if they’re that much of a jerk, shouldn’t you be happy it’s over? Don’t go away mad, just go away. Cut your losses (or count your wins, as the case may be), and go forward. And by all means, have sex with someone new as soon as possible. You should do the first new partner you can, even if you’re against hooking up with random people. It’s very important for the healing process. Seriously.

Is Your Relationship The Real Deal?

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Relationship advice is crucial if you want to find out if your partnership is on the right track. Have you actually found the one this time? Here’s how to know!

So you’re a girl. Who met a boy. And you “know” he’s the one. This time you mean it! Seriously though, new relationships are highly intoxicating. Puppy love and love feel eerily similar. Sooner or later, we’re all bound to fall in love. But how do you tell which is which? Is he really Mr. Right, or is he just a practice relationship?

What She Said:

At one point or another all women have dreamed of their perfect wedding. We imagined the dress, the flowers and the perfect man. But how do you know if the guy you are dating is Mr. Right? Most importantly, do you want him to be? Just having to ask yourself if he is Mr. Right is a red flag. And is cause to be alarmed. If you felt like he was Mr. Right, no article that you read or advice column is going to tell you. You will know it. But, since love is different for everyone, it might be hard to really know so you need to ask your heart and your gut some questions.

Does he support you emotionally, physically and spiritually? Do you want nothing more than to make him happy? Does he make you feel supported and safe? Is there still a spark between the two of you? When he walks into a room, does your face light up? These things sound super cliché, but there is so much truth to them. Another gut question to ask yourself is, his annoyance factor. In other words, does your man now do some of the things that your ex used to do that annoyed you but these things do not annoy you with your new guy? You might just have yourself a Mr. Right.

The last super major gut question to ask yourself is what would your life be without him? If a life without him makes you feel lost that’s a sure sign he is your Mr. Right. Again, these are just some questions to ask yourself, you know what you feel. Listen to your gut.

What He Said:

As the wise Chris Rock once said, “Love is like bread. You gotta love the crust. You can’t just love the white part of the bread. Everyone loves that part. It’s the crust. If you don’t love that, you don’t love him.”

Being a woman in love with a man means sooner or later he is going to do some stupid shit to piss you off. Is your love strong enough to put up with that? Your love can’t be based on his abs or sex or any one thing. All those things are important, of course, but they will ebb and flow over time.

For a man, relationships are about finding a level of insanity you can put up with. Don’t think you’re crazy? You have a vagina, don’t you? I’m not saying it’s wrong your crazy, but make sure Mr. Right knows how crazy you are and loves you anyway. If he’s seen you at your worst, and he still returns your calls, that’s pretty significant.

You can live without everything and anything except protein and water. So saying “I can’t live without him” is a lie. You can. But do you want to? That’s a better question. If you can and don’t want to, then you’re on to something.

Goosebumps are something he should always give you as well as effort. He shouldn’t stop doing the things he did to get you after he has gotten you. Women like that stuff. It’s important to you and he should know this and be willing to do this stuff for you, even if he doesn’t want to. Love is doing things you know you hate because he/she likes to do them. If he’s willing to do that for you, and he’s coachable on other stuff, like the love-making, then you’re really on to something.

If you’re asking yourself too many questions about him and where this is going, that’s probably not good. It’s good to be sure, and don’t go into anything blindly, but if you’re devoting tons and tons of energy to analyzing the relationship and wondering if he can pass a background check then, well, maybe it’s a “not so much” type answer to the “Is he Mr. Right?” question.

5 Signs Your Man Is NO Good

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Relationship advice is necessary if you want to find out if you’re really with Mr. Right or not. Check out these five red flags that your fella needs the boot.

Men are dogs, pigs, whatever you want to call them. If you think that you have met prince charming but there are things that you know aren’t right, you should always follow your gut. For the most part, having a feeling that you’re getting played or the guy is hiding something will come to light with your suspicions being true.

This is not always the case, but women have an uncanny ability to feel out situations. There are ways that you can easily tell whether or not a guy is right for you. Here are the top 5 signs that your man is NO good.

1. You Always Pay

There are only two reasons that you always pay when you go out. The first reason is that he doesn’t have any money. The second reason is that he doesn’t want his wife or girlfriend to see the credit card or banking statement. Now, if your guy is in financial straits and you know about it, this can be something that you have to overlook.

Knowing about your man’s financial situation is an honesty that is admirable on his part. However, if he has chiseled out an image of success, he should be paying. Leave your guard up if you are constantly paying for yourself or for the both of you on every date.

2. He Doesn’t Stay Over

Having a casual affair can be a lot of fun. However, there is nothing casual about a relationship. If your man leaves after every romp in the sheets, there’s probably something going on. Even if you’re not having sex and he refuses to stay the night, you have to start looking out for yourself.

Guys that don’t stay the night have a reason to leave. This could be that he has a wife or girlfriend waiting for him at home or that he is just afraid to get intimate with you. If you are having sex and he is leaving, he is probably afraid of commitment and needs to be confronted. Let him know that you’re not looking for something casual and see how he responds.

3. He Doesn’t Talk About The Future

Guys that don’t talk about a future with you aren’t planning on a future with you. This is very simple. If he’s not talking about the future then he’s probably no good. Guys are a lot like girls in relationships. They don’t want to keep things stagnant. They want to have something to look forward to other than watching TV on a Friday night.

If your guy isn’t talking about future trips, holiday plans or meeting your parents, get rid of him. You want a guy that can see himself with you for a while barring no immediate infidelity or hiccups in the relationship.

4. He Isn’t Considerate

Has a guy ever blown you off last minute to go hang out with his friends? If he has then you know how infuriating and hurtful it can be. A guy that is not considerate of your feelings or your time is not somebody that you want to be with. If you find yourself waiting by the phone on a Friday or Saturday night wondering if you’re going to have a date, you might as well break it off now or have a very stern talk with him.

You want a guy that is going to make plans with you ahead of time, stick with them and follow through. Never stay with a guy that takes you or your time for granted. Eventually you’re going to get tired of it and break the relationship off.

5. He Has No Ambition

A man without ambition is a man that you’re never going to respect. Traditionally, a guy is supposed to take care of the family. While there are different rules now that women have become liberated, a man should still want to be able to provide for his wife and children. If you find yourself with a guy that has no ambition, you can rest assured that he does not love you enough to provide the type of life he believes you deserve.

No guy should be held to the standard of becoming the next billionaire on Wall Street or a real estate tycoon, however, a life of never having to worry about bills being paid is something that everybody should strive for. If your guy is not trying to provide for you and an upcoming family, he’s not the kind of guy that will go the distance.

5 Secrets For A Blissful Relationship

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Relationship advice can help couples from all walks of live achieve a happy and satisfying union. Check out these five tips for love that is stress free!

Having a good partnership with your lover may seem impossible that point’s and easy at other points. There are a lot of struggles that couples go through, ranging from the financial disputes sexual expectations and other aspects of the relationship. However, great relationship advice will ensure you’re happy the majority of the time. Many people believe that having a marriage is very simple.

The fact of the matter is that it takes work and it will not happen overnight. If you are looking for a quick shot of intimacy, then you are in for a rude awakening. There are going to be bumps in the road, but you can combat this with love and understanding of your partner.

1. Have Trust

Trust is the foundation for all unions. This is perhaps the best relationship advice you’ll ever get! If you find that the trust has been broken,, everything will have to be mended from scratch. Trust is not something that comes easily. This has to be earned and that takes time. However, trust can be broken in a matter of seconds.

The trust that you build with your partner should be based on the respect that you have for each other. Within a marriage can easily be established through the commitments that you have made with the vow of being there for each other for a life time. For a less than long term relationship, it is important to remember the golden rule.

2. Create Financial Comfort

No, you don’t have to have Warren Buffet’s bank account, but being financially comfortable can take a lot of the trouble out of a marriage. One of the biggest sources for fights and lost sleep is money, or the lack there of. If you would like to have a great union with your spouse, work on becoming financially secure and staying that way.

Not having to worry about how a bill is going to be paid or how you can afford to go on a vacation once a year take away the majority of the pressures. No, money is not everything, but it can start a lot of fights when it’s not in order.

3. Do The Unexpected

Everybody loves surprises. If you feel that you’ve been losing intimacy with your partner, do something even though the both of you could benefit from. Surprising your partner with a weekend getaway or taking them to their favorite restaurant after a busy day at the office can go a long way.

Once you have done something for your partner, they will be more likely to do something for you. This is not a method for you to get something that you want, this is merely an icebreaker to putting your union back on the path that it has strayed from.

4. Spend Time With Your Friends

Even though you want things to be as good as possible, spending time with other people can also benefit you and your partner. Have you ever heard the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” This phrase sums up a great deal of what couples tend to fall into when they first get married or have been together for a very long time.

Spending all of your time together can make the both of you feel cut off from the rest of the world. There is no need to smother your partner or be smothered to try to force things to work. Spend time with family, friends or coworkers to give the both of you break every now and then.

5. Deal With Conflict As It Comes

Conflict is always going to be there. Whether you want to go see a movie that your partner doesn’t want to see where you are upset that they stayed out all night, problems are going to spring up any time. How you handle these problems is going to be indicative of how well your relationship will be in the future. Dealing with conflict with proper way can leave you both feeling good about yourselves. When conflict does arise, deal with it head on. Don’t beat around the bush and do not avoid it.

Conflict can actually improve your relationship. When there is a small problem and you deal with it effectively, you are essentially preparing yourself for when larger conflict occurs between the two of you. Learning how to deal with conflict the proper way according to how your partner deals with stress and anger is a part of life. Talk to them openly and with honesty about the conflict to build a future on a solid foundation.