dating – Page 46

Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship?

It’s a question that just about everyone has asked at least at one point or another in their lives.

What is the secret to long term, happy relationships? Is there even a secret?

While there is no tried and true formula that you can follow to the letter to ensure you have a happy relationship for years to come, there are a few things you can do to make your relationship easier and more fulfilling.

What is the secret to long term happy relationships?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4APs1XqsQg[/youtube]

Accepting your partner.

When it boils down to it, a happy relationship is between two people that love each other. While everyone’s definition of love differs from person to person, there is one thing that seems to be a thread running through every relationship – acceptance.

When you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are. You can’t change a person, and if you go into a relationship thinking that later on down the road you’ll try to change one thing or another about them, the relationship won’t last very long.

The first step to a truly happy and fulfilling long term relationship is learning to accept your partner and love them, even in spite of their unsavory qualities. This isn’t something that happens right away, so give yourself enough time and be patient with yourself. Talk openly with your partner about how you’re learning to accept them for who they are no matter what, and you’d like them to do the same for you.

Getting out of the judgmental state of mind.

More often than not, when our partners do something to upset us, we end up being judgmental. We pass off judgment to them as though they’ve done something “wrong” and we’re the right ones in the situation.

While you and your partner are likely to always have disagreements, being critical is something that doesn’t have to happen, and when it does it’s going to take a toll on your relationship and hurt one or both partners’ feelings.

When your partner does something to upset you, bring it up exactly like that. Don’t say they’ve done something “wrong” or be critical. Simply say that it’s something you don’t really jive with. By not being critical, you become more accepting and loving of your partner and they become more willing to be sensitive of your needs.

Relationships are give and take situations. If one partner is giving more and the other is simply taking and taking, the relationship isn’t going to last too long.

The best thing you can do is be open, honest and accepting of your partner. You and your partner are in this together, as a team!

If you are constantly pitting against each other, it isn’t really a team is it? Work together to find common ground where you and your partner can both function in the relationship and be satisfied and happy with it. If you truly love your partner and your partner truly loves you, many of these things will fall into place and become second nature to both of you.

While living together and staying together for many years takes lots of hard work and understanding, once you and your partner have the right mindset, you can begin unlocking the secrets to staying together and staying happy for the long haul!

Relationship Suck? Need Counseling? Read this first!

By paulcarlson

Sometimes, we have problems that we just can’t fix on our own.

Whether they’re relationship problems, sex problems or even behavioral problems and problems from our pasts, we don’t have the resources or the knowledge we need to right ourselves, no matter how hard we try!

Therapy can work wonders, but where do you start? There are hundreds and hundreds of different types of therapy available to you. How do you know which one is right for you?

What is the difference between the various types of couples counseling that’s available? (traditional counselor, hypnotherapy, alternative treatments, etc)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9jXLWVpj-k[/youtube]

Treating the problem chemically.

Psychiatrists are under the study that all mental illnesses and behavioral problems are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Psychiatrists often treat these illnesses with an array of medications that are intended to replace the lost chemicals or reduce the amount of abundant chemicals, therefore stabilizing the patient’s mood and behavior and quieting any mental illness.

Psychiatry is not a type of therapy that is for everyone, but it is certainly beneficial in some situations. Talk to your doctor to find out if a visiting a psychiatrist is something you should consider based on your current situation.

Talking it out.

A popular type of therapy nowadays is psychotherapy, or talk therapy. What happens in this type of therapy is that you and your therapist sit together for a determined period of time and together, you are able to talk through your issues.

Your therapist can give you the tools you need to make the changes in your own life that you need to make, and they can definitely be there to help you through difficult decisions and unpleasant situations such as divorce, a job loss or even relationship troubles.

Religious based therapy.

Everyone has a belief system and some people prefer to counsel with therapists that incorporate their chosen set of beliefs into the therapy. Catholics will often visit a priest to confess, and Christians and other religious people will visit a therapist of this same religion.

If your faith is an integral part of your life and is often what you base your life decisions on, it makes sense that you would seek out a therapist of your same beliefs.

Hypnotherapy and alternative therapy.

There are many different types of alternative therapies, including acupuncture, hypnotherapy, past life regression, reiki, and more. These types of therapy can work well on their own or even alongside a more traditional type of therapy. These therapies are designed to help bring you peace and an understanding of yourself. They too can help you work through life issues and help you learn what you need to solve your current problems and deal with new ones as they present themselves.

Only you can decide what type of therapy is right for you! Take your motivation into consideration, as well as your beliefs and whether or not you’d like your insurance to pay for the therapy sessions. The most important thing in therapy is to never have a closed mind, and to stick with your therapy long enough for it to work! Just a few weeks in therapy aren’t likely to do you any good, so talk with your therapist to find out where you see things going.

You and your therapist can work together to find a path through this life that is fulfilling and satisfactory. Seeking a therapist does not indicate weakness. It only indicates that you care enough about yourself and those around you to make some much needed changes in your life, and you have the power to do that!

How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian?

By loveandsex

When you’re in a club, or another place where lots of people get together to hang out and possibly meet dates, you can sometimes find yourself overwhelmed.

If you’re there looking for a date, it can sometimes be hard to figure out if a girl likes you, or is even interested in you. For all you know, she could be gay or bisexual.

If you’re at a strip club, it can be even harder to figure out if the stripper herself is interested in going out with you or not. How can you tell?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m very good when it comes to knowing someone’s strengths and weakness, at work, playing sports, habits, tendencies and what not. But when it comes to meeting women it’s a different story. Like if I went to club.

How do I know which women are straight, bisexual, lesbian? What are some of the signs? Women walking around in a club and you see them pass by several times, is it their way of checking you out?

And what are your thoughts on dating strippers? Is there away I can incorporate scouting into meeting women?

– Brian, Okla.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XElRFLqoIIk[/youtube]

Getting To Know A Girl’s Body Language

If a girl likes you, she will generally have certain body language. She may lean into you when she talks to you, or she may have her eyes totally focused on you when you’re talking. It’s not limited to that though. There are thousands of different ways that a girl can show you that she’s interested in you, without even saying a word!

At first, she may make eye contact with you across the crowded club. Does she hold that eye contact or look away? Is she walking by you a lot on purpose, or is she just going to the restroom? If you open your eyes and take a hard look at a girl’s body language, it’s pretty obvious whether she’s into you or not. If not, move on! There might be another girl around who is trying to make you notice her!

Gay, Straight, Bisexual?

When looking for a date in a club, or another place, how can you tell if a girl is gay, straight or even bisexual? Here’s some news – you really can’t. Nobody really wears a sign on themselves proclaiming their sexual orientation, but in some ways it’s obvious. Take a look at the girl and watch her for a few minutes from afar to get a feel for what she’s like.

You might be able to tell right away. If not, just see if she’s interested in you. Ask her out! If she says no, take heart and move on. It could be because she’s gay, or bisexual. It could be because she just broke up with her boyfriend or lost her job. In dating, there’s no way to instantly tell if someone is available or not. You just have to test the waters and see.

At A Strip Club

Many men visit strip clubs to get a good show, but some visit strip clubs as a replacement for a relationship. If you’ve ever dreamed of getting romantically involved with a stripper – or thought a stripper might want to be romantically involved with you – you are probably one of the latter people. Just a quick note on that.

Strippers generally will show tons of interest in you when you have a few dollar bills in your hand. It’s their job, and it’s how they pay their rent. If a stripper gives you lots of attention while she’s performing and you’re paying, take it with a grain of salt.

However, if she approaches you off the clock or seems interested in you in other ways, feel free to ask her out. There’s nothing wrong with dating a stripper if she really likes you. It might be a good idea, however, not to put all your eggs in one basket. Get out and go to other clubs where you can meet other girls as well.

Love, Sex, or Money? The Three Biggest Reasons Couples Fight and How They Can Be Avoided?

By paulcarlson

It’s a fact of life. Almost all couples fight!

Some arguments are mild and others are really knock down drag out fights where one or both partners come out breathless and wounded.

Not surprisingly, the reasons that couples fight aren’t all that different from couple to couple. They’re often the same!

While almost every couple argues and fights from time to time, regular fights can lead to serious discord in the relationship. Understanding why couples fight is the first key to stopping arguments in their tracks.

What are the biggest reasons that couples fight?

And can they be avoided?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2aCEtJhd58[/youtube]

Compatibility

Some couples argue and fight because they’re simply not compatible with each other. Sometimes two people aren’t compatible with each other mentally or spiritually, and this can lead to lots of arguments. Often, these types of arguments will eventually lead to the end of the relationship because very rarely do two people with two totally different spiritual beliefs and mindsets work out.

More often, however, is sexual incompatibility. Whether you’re a novice who just can’t seem to get it right or someone with lots of experience in the sack who’s just gotten bored with the routine, if you and your partner aren’t hitting it off in the bedroom, you can have some serious issues out of the bedroom. Open up and talk to your partner about what you can do to ramp up the sex life or gain more experience. Don’t be afraid to incorporate new things!

Money

Many couples, especially married couples, argue and fight over money. In fact, money problems are the leading contributor to divorces in the U.S. Sometimes, there are issues over who makes more money or issues over who spends more money. If you’re having money problems though, you don’t have to resign yourself to a doomed relationship …

Talk to your partner and devise a budget and a spending plan that works for both of you. This is where you may need to get creative. Find something that works for you and your partner. If the Mr. Jones down the street brings home the bacon and the Mrs. stays home and cooks, that might work well for them.

In your relationship, however, it may work better if the Mrs. is a high powered executive CEO and he stays home to play Mr. Mom. With a little effort and planning, you and your partner can work together to find a compromise that works for your relationship!

Lack of Understanding

The biggest reason that men and women fight is that they’re from two totally different planets. Haven’t you read Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus? If you haven’t, you should get a copy this instant!

Men’s brains and women’s brains are actually hardwired differently. Sometimes, you and your partner could be fighting because you simply don’t understand each other! Do your homework and take some time to understand how your gender functions differently than the other.

You’ll be surprised to find that almost everything is different, even the social stigmas that are put on us every day. You’ll learn ways to communicate with your partner in a way they can understand and vice versa, eliminating many disagreements before they even start.

While almost every couple argues and disagrees, which is healthy, you don’t want to have to deal with fights on a regular basis as they can tear your relationship apart before you can even pinpoint what went wrong. Work to end these common reasons that couples fight and save the disagreements for situations that are unique to your relationship!

Is My Girlfriend Using Me Or Is Her Love Real?

By loveandsex

Usually it’s the other way around, but sometimes a man will be ready for a steady relationship and his girlfriend begins pulling away.

It can be confusing if you’ve started staying the night with your girlfriend or even taken the relationship to another level

when your girlfriend starts to pull away and act as though you and she are still in the beginning phase of the relationship.

What does it mean when a woman starts to pull away? What should you do if you’re ready for commitment and she’s not?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I started talking to this girl and we hooked up. Things escalated rather quickly and ended up with me staying with her. She dropped hints that she wasn’t actually ready for a relationship and while I was away on vacation, she told me to go back to my own place. We started hanging out again and then one day she asked me to stay the night. After that I have been staying there on and off. She is also dealing with a deep seated depression. She just started taking meds for it. The other day I noticed the change in her and now she is back to pushing me away. She is confusing me and I don’t know if I am wasting my time and she is just using me so she doesn’t have to feel alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

-DW, Tennessee

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbGlMLuqrso[/youtube]

She Wants To Remain Casual. . .

So you and your girlfriend have gotten quite cozy recently. Perhaps you’ve been dating a few months or more and have started staying the night at each other’s apartments or houses. Maybe you even have your own toothbrush there.

Suddenly, your girlfriend begins to pull away. She stops asking you to come over as much and perhaps she finds excuses why she can’t come over to your house. She still seems interested in the relationship, but not at the level you were once at. She seems more interested in going back to the “dating” phase. Perhaps this has happened more than once. What does it mean?

Well, it might not mean anything other than your girlfriend isn’t ready for a steady relationship – and that’s okay! Try to talk to her openly and honestly without criticism. She may very well open up to you about why she has been shying away. Often, if she doesn’t cut things off completely, she’s still interested in you but may want to take things slow.

You really won’t know the absolute truth of what’s behind her shy behavior, however, until you talk to her. Just make sure that when you do, you’re respectful of her and her right to pull away if she wants. Don’t be judgmental or critical, or she might just shut down on you and you won’t get an answer either way.

What Do You Do?

Well, sometimes there’s nothing you can do. What your girlfriend wants is up to her, and truthfully, if you want to be with her you have to respect that. If you think your relationship has the potential to go somewhere in the future and you’d like it to, go ahead and take it slow and be casual for as long as she wants to. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you want in a relationship too.

If you’re ready for commitment and she isn’t, you need to make a decision if this is the person you really want to be with. You can’t make her commit to you and you can’t make her be more than casual.

You can, however, change what you do. Tell her honestly and without criticism that you want more than just a casual relationship. If she doesn’t want to take it to the next level, or has and keeps backing away, then move on to someone who will give you what you need.

Casual relationships aren’t necessarily bad and if your girlfriend suddenly decides she wants to back down and cool off from the relationship for awhile, it doesn’t always mean the relationship is doomed.

The best thing you can do is talk with her openly and share your feelings about the situation with each other. Neither of you are mind readers, so talk to each other about what’s going on if you want to get some answers.