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Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

By loveandsex

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! – Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!”

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective”. At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…”

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

The whole purpose of your headline is to get the other person to want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or try and establish a sense of mystery.

Have a well -written, intriguing profile

Writing about your self in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and save you a lot of wasted time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.

Be yourself. Honesty is the Best Policy . Even though it may be tempting to fudge a little bit on your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to ensure that you will find the person that you are looking for is to BE HONEST!

Write like you speak. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to put your best foot forward, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.

Target your market. Don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at eHarmony and in the same respect, don’t use words like “true love” when you are looking for a one-night stand at Adult Friend Finder.

Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar. You can see how that says so much more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion, or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.

Don’t forget to spell check . Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe your the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t catch that it should be ” you’re” instead of “your”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line under half of your text is there for a reason.

Filed Under: Online Dating Tips & Advice Tagged With: dating, dating advice, dating sites, flirting, love, online dating, Relationship Advice, singles

Will it be Adult Friend Finder or PerfectMatch.com? Top 10 Tips for Finding the Best Online Dating Site for You…

By loveandsex

Question: What could PerfectMatch.com, eHarmony, and Adult Friend Finder possibly have in common and why do you care?

Answer: They are all online dating sites designed with a very specific objective and person in mind. Fact is, an amazing number of people sign up to the wrong dating site and wonder why it doesn’t work for them.

Adult Friend Finder is intended for people looking for a casual, and in most cases, a sexual relationship, A.K.A. "not looking for marriage".

eHarmony is intended for people looking for a long-term, serious relationship, A.K.A. "looking for marriage". But with the endless forms to fill out before signing up… most people don’t make it to the other side.

PerfectMatch.com falls somewhere in between, focusing on casual dating that may potentially turn into a long term relationship. This is also a great option for a dating site with true scientific matching.

Many people join dating sites like Adult Friend Finder simply to ‘browse’… If you are looking for some good ADULT entertainment, skip the added overhead of a dating site and try Sizzling Cams or Totally Free Cams.

(WARNING: These sites contains adult content and nudity. If that kind of stuff offends you, don’t click on the links.) You may also want to turn off your sound before you visit these sites…

So, if you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t you think it would be a mistake to join Adult Friend Finder? Yes, it may be fun to look around and flirt, etc., but are you really being honest with yourself and with the other members of that site?

There are literally hundreds, even thousands, of dating sites to choose from.
How do you know which ones are right for you?

As you begin your search for the best online dating site, you will probably be surprised by the number of options. Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the "right" service a bit overwhelming.

It’s well worth the extra time to find 2 or 3 dating sites that fit your personality and offer the services that you’re looking for. Narrow down the list of potential online dating sites to your top 3 and then compare them to determine the pros and cons of each one. Pay particular attention to the monthly cost and features offered by each dating site.

While more and more ‘free’ dating sites are becoming available, most sites differentiate between free and paid memberships. In general, most dating sites will let you upload your profile and a few photos, and search through their database of profiles for free (but they may not let you see all of the details). You will most likely have to pay for any additional features.

Once you’ve chosen a few, sign up for each of them. It only takes a little extra time and you’re sure to meet different people on each of the different sites.

Here are some excellent tips for finding a service that will best match your needs:

  1. Establish a budget.
    Decide how much money you want to spend, and set a budget. Most online dating websites charge a recurring monthly fee, but there are a few that have a one-time membership fee, and even fewer totally free sites. Determine up front how much you want to spend so that you can narrow your choices and avoid sites that don’t fit in your budget.  
  2. Ask for references.
    Talk to friends and family to see if they or anyone they know has had a good experience with a particular online dating website. If you don’t know anyone, you can always check out an online dating guide. Just go to your favorite search engine and type in "online dating guide". You’ll get plenty to choose from.  
  3. Try to choose an online dating service that has been around for a couple of years.
    The best way to find out how long a website has been around is to go to the website’s "About Us" page where you will learn not only the date the site was started but also the company’s philosophy. Another good source of information is the “FAQ”, or frequently asked questions page on the website.
  4. Do your research.
    Take the time to check your favorite search engines for popular dating sites. Try searching terms like "online dating", "meet someone online", or "online personals" to generate lists of potential online sites for you.  
  5. Consider specialized or niche sites.
    Think about any special interests or unique situations that might require a more specialized online dating website. If you are interesting in something specific like Single Parents, Christian Dating, Jewish Dating, Senior Dating, Gay Dating, or Adult Dating, make sure you include those terms in your search (see #4 above).  
  6. Determine the pros and cons of your top picks.
    Narrow down the list of potential online sites to your top three and compare them to determine pros and cons of each one. Compare them buy cost and features that are interesting to you such as live chat, online video, and number of members on the site.  
  7. Sign up to multiple dating sites.
    Don’t be afraid to sign-up for multiple websites or change services if you are not satisfied. The goal is to meet new people online and enjoy the process. If a particular site is not meeting your needs, move on before you invest more of your money on a service that isn’t right for you.  
  8. For safety and convenience, look for online dating services that offer onsite messaging and email services.
    This will allow you to communicate with people using a special email provided by the dating service instead of using your personal email or IM (instant message).

    You should stay anonymous, at least at first. You wouldn’t walk into a bar with a name and address tag around your neck, would you? It is important, however, to use a valid email address when signing up for your account.

    Most dating sites give you the option to receive email notification of replies to your personal ad, and some even forward the reply right to your email box. You won’t want to miss these emails!

    I suggest that you use a free email account, such as Yahoo Mail or Hotmail , to reduce the possibility of spam. Just remember to check your new mailbox!

  9. Make sure the dating service offers secure payment methods.
    Also, look at the type of payments accepted (credit card, check, money order, PayPal, etc.) to ensure the options work for you. 

  10. Look for websites that offer free trials.
    Look for an online dating service that will allow you to browse profiles and photos before you join, or a service that offers a free trial period so you can talk to people that you are interested in meeting before you have to pay. This allows you to fully understand the number and types of potential matches already signed up with the service.

Recommended: Try Adult Friend Finder, the world’s largest sex and swinger personals site, with over 20 million active members, and 30,000 new photos uploaded every week…

Filed Under: Online Dating Sites & Reviews Tagged With: adult dating, dating, dating advice, love, online dating, singles

Dating a Younger Woman in 5 Easy Steps

By loveandsex

The Question

I am looking for a younger woman but most women want to date someone around their own age. What can I do? – Anonymous

Today’s question is from one of our readers who wishes to stay anonymous; we’ll call him Bill.

Read the question again. Notice how Bill is already convinced that the younger woman he seeks will not be interested in someone his age. This is a self fulfilling belief which is virtually guaranteed to come true. If you believe deep down that you’re going to fail, then you will.

The Honest Answer

In short, yes, you can absolutely find a younger woman that’s right for you. You just need to set your target, take action, and stay the course.

How can you get started in the right direction?

First, take a look deep down inside and figure out exactly why you want to meet a younger woman. And then think about what this perfect woman would be like. Describe her in as much detail as you possible can. Then, write it down on a piece of paper. List her age, physical appearance, personality traits, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Once your have described the perfect woman for you in great detail, fold up that piece of paper and carry it with you for 1 week.

Imagine that you are already with her. What will you do? What will you talk about? Where will you go? REALLY feel it and get into the emotion of it — How will you feel when you are with her? All of this may sound silly, but do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!

Just think about that one for a minute…

“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.”

– Lee Iacocca

Social stigmas and why do you care?

You don’t. Our society is full of social stigmas. We’re so busy being concerned about “what others will think” that we we’re afraid to pursue our own dreams. Yes, many people love to pass judgment on others, but that’s their choice and their right. Why they do it is a larger topic for another day, but it’s really not important here. No one else can possibly know what’s right for you, so why listen to them?

A wise person once said,

“What someone else thinks about you is none of your business”.

Is it true that most women want someone around their own age?

This is completely untrue! Fact is, each of us has different and unique wants and needs. Your goal and single focus should be finding the perfect woman for you. Period.

5 easy tips for attracting and dating younger women.

Younger women are often attracted to traits like maturity (like their daddy), more money and higher social status, masculinity, leadership abilities, confidence, and composure, so it’s important for you to focus on whichever of these traits you possess.

1) Be yourself.
When older guys meet a younger woman they often get nervous and start to act really weird. Don’t do this — just be yourself.

2) Keep it light and fun.
Be playful. Have fun. Tease her. She hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to play and goof around. It’ll do you some good to remember not to take life so seriously. Be a little crazy and opt for things that younger guys generally can’t afford to do. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.

3) Be the leader. Be the man.
Younger women are most likely looking for someone to take the lead. They have less experience in life and are most likely looking for someone to show them what’s out there. Make your date and other plans ahead of time, but be sensitive and ask her opinion of the plans that you have already made. (She may be allergic to sushi). Be a man, yet respect her opinion. Opening doors, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs is another way to make a big impression on younger women.

4) Don’t act like a “perv”.
Most attractive young women have been hit on by some lame, perverted older guy. Don’t try to move in too soon or she’ll think you’re just a “perv” looking to get into her pants. When your alone together, it’s OK to flirt, but let her pursue you for anything further. Otherwise you may scare her away.

5) Give her some space.
Younger women have probably just gotten out of their parent’s house with very structured lives and zero freedom. If she’s attracted to you, it’s not because you’re re-creating the suffocating environment that she just left… it’s because you represent something different. Give her some space. Be the man that she’s always dreamed about, and then don’t chase her. Let her come to you.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: dating, dating advice, love, online dating, Relationship Advice, singles, younger woman

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

By loveandsex

Here are the top ten most common mistakes you should avoid when contacting women online.

The following will be the most important online dating tips and advice you’ll read all year…

Don’t forget to watch the short 1-2 minute videos – just click the “Watch the Video” link under each heading.

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Watch the Video

Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free.

But what does this say to her about you?

When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that’s not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.

What a wonderful way to start off a relationship… Not!

She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves.

So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more than profiles with poor photos.

Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you search for women with photos in their profile first?

Why would she be any different?

Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…

If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.

If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.

Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!…

Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject

Watch the Video

Fact #1: Guys outnumber girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites and that’s a conservative number.

Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day.

You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it.

How come?

Simple… Once again, women with good online profiles get lots of winks and messages every day.

Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.

Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message.

Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.

Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message

Watch the Video

So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.

Go you! At least that’s what you think…

Ok, reality check.

Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand.

So, why not take a different approach?

Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.

Remember, you’re messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in.

Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile.

Then, conclude each message with a “clear call to action”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next.

Don’t leave her wondering. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line”.

Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message

Watch the Video

With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate.

So they get her message and then wait… and wait… and wonder when it’s “ok” to answer her.

Let’s clear this up.

Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you’re far better off striking while the iron’s hot.

Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she’s still logged on. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine! …

Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon

So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic “Hi” message. Now what?

You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?

Stop!

Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts.

Think of two dogs approaching each other… what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other.

Why do they do this? They’re getting to know each other.

People are the same in many respects.

Don’t scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.

Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message

Yes, she’s really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual…

So you think it’s OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG!

Unless you’re on AdultFriendFinder.com or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you.

They’ll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her.

So don’t do it.

Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number

Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in on it this month) money scam.

Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers.

And guys you know are falling for it every day…

Remember, the whole “if it sounds too good to be true” idea still stands!

If your online profile is really bad, and all of a sudden a girl strangely resembling a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow.

And DO NOT send money or other financial information to make her come to you…

Mistake #9: Checking out her “really hot” nude photos on her personal website

The ever popular “cam girl” phenomenon is surprising scores of new men on a daily basis.

So, what’s a “cam girl?”

Well, let’s say you’re searching profiles on and run across this great looking girl. She looks friendly, approachable, and is wearing a highly suggestive outfit.

To make it better, her profile has a link to her “private website” where you can “see more of her”.

What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to “verify your age by providing a credit card number”. Hmmm.

If you want to browse an adult site, then proceed and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is – often a teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending happy surfers (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site.

Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want

The last blunder is actually by far the most important one…

Put simply, most guys use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything.

Then they wonder why they’re not happy with the women they meet.

Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?

Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for… what type of woman do you really want to meet today?

That way you don’t waste you time messaging a really great looking ‘single mom’ when you know full well that you don’t want children.

If you are an outdoorsman, you probably don’t want to spend time messaging a woman that tells you in her profile that she is allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)

It will be well worth your time to understand what you’re really looking for!

Read More…

Finding Love Online – 5 Proven Strategies and The Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Put In Your Profile

Filed Under: Online Dating Tips & Advice Tagged With: dating, dating advice, dating sites, flirting, love, online dating, singles

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

By loveandsex

If you have ever thought about trying online dating or if you are using online dating but having less than amazing results, this book is for you.

Don’t spend hours of wastedtime searching all over the internet trying to find out about online dating. 

We have compiled everything, and I do mean everything that you need to know to meet your perfect partner online!

Online Dating- Finding Love Online eBook

"Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

5 Proven Strategies for Success
and
The Top 5 Things You Should Never
Put In Your Profile

by Jennifer Hunt and Dan Baritchi

Go here to get it today!
http://www.online-dating-tips-and-guide.com

Filed Under: Online Dating Tips & Advice Tagged With: breaking up, date ideas, dating, dating advice, dating sites, first date, flirting, love, lying, marriage counseling, online dating, premarital sex, Relationship Advice, singles

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