erotica – Page 5

Is There A Place For Pornography In ANY Relationship?

By christproerotic

It is one of the most thankless jobs in the world. Men and women sprawling on makeshift movie sets–indoors or outdoors, rain or shine–to bring the public what they want to see: Sex and nakedness on their local tube or computer screen.

Porn is a booming business

From posing naked bodies to oral sex to intercourse to orgasm the adult movie business, and industry is available to people around the world 24/7.

Be it in the privacy of a motel room, bedroom of a family, on a computer laptop, bought at an adult bookstore or shop, etc. the billion dollar business is enjoying its best business ever.

Do you admit to your partner that you watch porn?

Take the controversial poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in!

Objections to porn

Whatever you do, though, do not tell the feminists, government, or the church set. In a rare show of agreement, these three groups find many things offensive because of one reason or another.

Feminists feel women are objects and are devalued in power and purpose; in the past few years, the U.S. government is ever trying to make more regulation on the books making it harder for consenting adults; the church and moralist find tons wrong over issues ranging from the glorification of premarital sex to the promotion of gay / lesbian / bisexual / transgender “lifestyles”.

Each group has validated their points regarding the ills of pornography (according to their belief systems). I believe instead of taking the battle against the things most consenting adults enjoys we can focus the battle against issues 90% of adults can agree on (i.e. child pornography, child abuse, etc). Plus, I wish these groups would press the issue regarding the performers and their health (i.e. mandatory testing by studios of all performers).

Is porn getting a bad rap?

Now the first question we need to ask is if pornography is getting a bad rap or not? My answer for this one is yes! Many definitions can be made for pornography, but one I would like to use and stick with is this one:

Pornography: The art that captures the fantasies, desires, and dreams of the populace’s sexual lives. Its function is to stimulate, educate, and entice the viewer to visual ideas towards sexuality.

Can it be improved?

Instead of bashing the genre I think the genre needs improvement in how it presents the canvas. But how can this be done?

I will not lie to you that, trying to get a grasp this subject or a substantial majority of people saying they agree porn is not a problem is a stretch especially in religious circles. Even the members of Christ Pro Erotic are not totally sold on porn and if believers in Jesus can even view it. But a few things I’ve found regarding adult material and how we view it can be helpful and beneficial on both sides.

If viewing or purchasing pornography takes more of a priority than your family, finances, spouse/partner then you need to seek help or talk it over with you’re your mate. This kind of indulgence is harmful to a relationship and to a life when you are more preoccupied with it and replace a good live relationship with porn.
You will not find any “thou shalt not watch porn” in the Bible. Like all freedoms know what the pros and cons about viewing porn. Pray about it! Discuss with your partner what is acceptable with enjoyment of pornography. Respect their views and boundaries and do not veer off regardless of their final decision. (See Romans 14: 13,14 for guidance).
Don’t expect to be Ron Jeremy or Jenna Jameson (the number one and two performers of all time according to Adult Video News Magazine) in the bedroom. Look, no one person can sustain as long as one scene in a movie. It’s a movie-remember one scene is shot in several takes. If you can please contact this website to tell us how it is done. Fantasy is one thing; reality is not as bad if you try to make each moment in the bedroom pleasurable and purposeful for both partners.
Those who object strongly to porn need to bring a better alternative to the table. If feminist feel strongly about women being treated as objects or then help find ways to turn the table. Write to the production studios, talk to directors, state your case with friends who enjoy porn, and even consider making porn with a respect towards women. Candida Royalle was in the business during the golden age of porn and decided to make erotic films from a female perspective. She has a great line of movies and other products empowering women in the bedroom and beyond.
This may be a hard one with the men, but if your mate is not into porn then respect her wishes. Value your relationship more than a your porn collection good man. She may have a good reason why she is not into porn as you are (self image, performance, looks, etc.) but value her input.
And please, PLEASE stop making your enjoyment of porn a “male only” issue. Involve your wife/spouse/partner into your enjoyment. You may be surprised what she enjoys and what turns her on.

Above all it is you, the consumer, who can send the message to the adult industry you want a more realistic vision of sexuality. It is also important to realize you do not have to be performing CirqueDuSolei in the bedroom, but just enjoy being intimate with your partner in the bedroom. All the images in the world (and the world wide web) could never bring to life that kind of enjoyment.

Other alternatives

There are other alternatives to bringing in hard core pornography into the relationship including soft core erotica, sexually instructive videos (check out Nina Hartley’s “How To” series), or written erotica can stimulate sexual images and fantasies without the silicone and moving body parts.

Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean?

Your husband watches porn.

He lies about it.

You fight.

Welcome to the club. We don’t know a single woman that hasn’t at least gotten miffed about her man’s porn watching. Is it the man’s fault? Should he stop watching it? Well, we’re going to be honest here and you may not like what we have to say.

It’s not the man’s fault and no, he shouldn’t have to stop watching porn.

We’re also going to share a little secret with you that may make your life easier.

It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have been together for eight years. We have a pretty good sex life, but for the past year we have been fighting about porn. He sneaks off and watches it. I have tried to get him to watch it with me, hoping he will stop sneaking and lying about it.

I have low self esteem and it hurts. I wish he would share it with me, it is starting to cause a problem with our marriage.

— Stephanie, PA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMAw3iBxZr4[/youtube]

So he watches porn…

Let’s break it down. He watches porn – why? Well, because he likes it. Women may not understand that but there are many things that women do that men don’t “get.” For example, women have their nails done. They do it because they like it and it feels good. Do women get their nails done because there’s something about their husbands that they don’t like? Absolutely not! For men, watching porn is pleasurable, plain and simple.

Of course he lies about it

You ask him about his habits and he lies about it. Of course you know better, but why is he lying? The answer to that question is a tough one – he is lying about it because he doesn’t feel safe being honest with you. Why would he feel that way? He is afraid of you getting angry at him for doing something as natural to him as washing your hair. How would you like it if you got interrogated and yelled at every time you washed your hair?

Why you have a problem with it

Now that you understand more about where your man is coming from on this issue, you can delve a little deeper into how you feel about the situation. When he watches porn, it hurts you. Sure it does, but it shouldn’t and the reason it hurts you has nothing to do with him.

Many women are in this same position because they have low self-esteem and jealousy or control issues. These are coming from you – not him. Take some time to really think about why you feel the way you do about porn and do what you can to change those things. This is the time to really focus on yourself– trust us, when you take care of the inner issues, the outer ones don’t seem like such a big deal.

Take action

With that said, we know you’re not going to sit back and let him watch porn all day while you take a hot bath and work on self-acceptance. Here’s what you can do to take action:

Get your own porn, your own toys and get on with it! Too shy? Don’t worry – after you’ve taken care of those inner issues, confidence will begin to take their place. Let your husband watch how you do it and chances are he’ll really get into it.

Don’t make rules about when he can or can’t watch porn – he’s free to do it by himself or with you. If you leave the issue alone and let him be himself, he’ll probably take a little from column A and a little from column B – and that’s okay.

Porn Addiction! Huh? Women Addicted to Porn?!?

Everyone likes to think it’s just men that watch porn. Wives and girlfriends everywhere, high on false righteousness, patrol their man’s computer to make sure it’s still virgin. And God forbid he actually watches porn on TV. After all, porn’s just downright wrong, isn’t it? Or is it?

But here’s a shocker… lots of women actually enjoy porn, or some form of exotic, erotic entertainment. This urban myth that women don’t like porn or erotic movies goes back to the same popular culture ignorance that leads so many to believe that women don’t want or enjoy sex as much as men.

Fact is, women DO like sex just as much as men do. They just go about it differently, usually in a more discrete, seductive way.

Here’s a question from a lady in California who’s afraid she’s actually become ADDICTED to porn!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have gotten into the habit of watching pornography to help me orgasm, whether it’s masturbating or having my boyfriend go down on me. I used to be able to have an orgasm without porn, but now I’m dependent on it. I don’t think my boyfriend minds much, but it’s just a nuisance.

How can I ease this habit?

— Aly, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml01wPSbJ3I[/youtube]

Why All Addictions Are Bad. Yes, Even Addictions to Porn.

Addictions are bad. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to: porn, cigarettes, food (which most everyone is addicted to), or anything else. Doing something because you WANT TO is great. But when you start NEEDING to do it, you know you’re in trouble. The whole fun and joy comes out of it, and you become a slave to whatever you’re doing.

STOP IT! If you realize you have an addiction that’s not serving you (most of them don’t), then kill it, don’t feed it. Most addictions feed an emotional emptiness of some sort. Do away with whatever you’re addicted to and find a better way to meet that need.

And the easiest way to make it stop is to SAY NO that very first time. That will begin to shatter the destructive behavior. When you feel the NEED to do it, do something else. Anything else. Each time you ‘just say no’ and choose a positive action instead, your brain re-wires itself to NOT be dependent on the addiction. Pretty soon, you’ll be free.

If you make a serious effort and still can’t break yourself of it, then get help. Find a counselor to help you get through it. But it all starts with you saying NO that first time and deciding it’s over.

Why Is Pornography Wrong?

Take a moment and really think about that. What IS wrong with watching porn?

I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex?

Not as a replacement for intimacy of course, but maybe something to help get you BOTH in the mood. And don’t necessarily think of the hard core stuff on the pay per view channels. How about some really erotic movies that’ll get you both excited and in the mood? Not every time, but as a fun change on a sexy date night.

What Is It About Porn That You Find Exciting?

To break the porn addiction, it’s vital to figure out what exactly you find exciting about it. Are you maybe enjoying a certain type of sex play? Is it bringing out some secret fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner – or maybe which you were afraid to share for some reason?

Once you figure out what it is that’s really getting you excited, here’s a big question for you. Are you trying these things in your sex life? No? Why not?

Sex is so much more fulfilling when you openly share your wants and desires with your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a happy sexual and romantic relationship. So give it a try: talk. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Slow Seduction – Why It Matters

Are you getting enough warm up time and mental stimulation, or is it just Wham-Bam-Sex?

Sex is not just about the physical mechanics or inserting Tab A into Slot B. It’s about the excitement, the passion… the most enjoyable part of sex is mostly mental. Sure, the orgasm feels good either way, but there’s no substitute for hot, steamy sex where your mind and body are completely and utterly aroused and playing as one!

Remember also that some men are always ready to go at the drop of a hat. But women usually need more warm up time. Nothing like a hot date with the promise of a steamy, sleepless night to get you both turned on. Build up the anticipation and the tension, and you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the results.

Time to Bring the Excitement and Hot Sex Back Into Your Love Life

Leave the TV behind and bring that excitement in the real world. Nothing wrong with some porn or an exotic thriller now and then for a stay-home date night, but the real world can be so much more stimulating.

With just a little effort, you can actually spark some real excitement in your sex life. Block off some time each week to go out on some hot, exciting dates together. Don’t just talk about it, take action and make it happen. Take this seriously: schedule it now as if it was a doctor’s appointment. You’re going, and the appointment is set.

Now watch the anticipation build as you come up with exciting plans for your steamy date. And when the day comes, get to know each other even more intimately, share your hidden fantasies, and see where the night takes you.

Sex is a wonderful God given gift for us all to enjoy, preferably with someone we’re close to. So indulge yourself and your partner. Explore your desires together and have fun!

Help! My Husband is Addicted to Porn!

OK, fine… We all have different views on pornography and sexually explicit movies and pictures.

Some people take a firm stand against porn, while others use porn and erotic movies to enhance and spice up their sex lives.

And these days, internet pornography is easily accessible to those interested, and it’s very easy to hide from those who are against it. No more hiding magazines under your bed…

This has been the topic of many heated discussions between couples and family members for generations, and the sparks are really starting to fly.

Here’s a question from Serena in Illinois. She found internet porn on her boyfriend’s computer and is furious with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer, My husband of 5 years has always seemed like an honest person. But I recently found internet porn on my computer. When I asked him about it he lied – of course.

He knows I’m dead set against Porn. It made me feel disgusting both inside and out. I told him that if that’s what he needs then I’m gone because I can’t and won’t live like that. He swears to never do it again.

Is he being truthful? Plus if he knew I was against it why would he still do it? It made me feel like I’m not good enough for him. Did I do something wrong for this to take place? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

–Serena

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37d8MaPOH2A[/youtube]

Why is Porn Wrong?

So why do so many feel that it’s wrong to view pornography? I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex? It’s very interesting that it’s OK for our kids to see incredible amounts of violence, but seeing even a breast is horrible. OMG! Don’t believe me? Check out cartoon network and then pay attention to what can and cannot be shown in a G-rated or PG-rated movie. This to me is what’s really scary!

Fighting, violence, and blood are acceptable for our children, but sex is not. That’s just messed up!

Trying to Control Your Partner

If you’re in a partnership and your significant other enjoys porn but you can’t stand it, what do you do?

Ask yourself what it is that you don’t like about pornography. Why is it disgusting or unacceptable to watch a sexual act? What’s really wrong with nudity?

Once you’ve got a true understanding in your own head, only then can you have an intelligent discussion with your partner. Yelling and ultimatums never work.

And put away that ugly jealousy monster. Just because your partner enjoys pornography does not mean that he or she does not find you attractive, or is going to leave you for someone else.

In fact, why not try watching with them to get an idea of what they enjoy. It could actually make your sex life even better.

Next…

How about accepting your partner for who they are and letting them enjoy themselves as long as it doesn’t turn into a true addiction. Excessive need for anything is not healthy, whether it is chocolate donuts or nudity.

Love is not about controlling our partners and bringing them around to our way of thinking. There are some things that you’ll differ on. In this case you may simply need to agree to disagree.

Why Ultimatums Never Work

“It’s X or me! Pick one!”

How many times have we heard, or said, this to someone? What actually happens when you say this is that you close the door for open an honest communication. Your partner now feels that they cannot be honest with you for fear of retribution, and that begins a downward spiral to destroying a relationship. In most cases, this person will get angry and defensive, and sometimes they’ll just storm out of the room. And guess what, they’re probably going to go behind your back and do it any way.

If you feel that there is a really an issue with addiction, then counseling or other professional help may be the answer, but ultimatums rarely work.

If you do choose to make and ultimatum, then you’d better be prepared to back it up, and possibly to lose your relationship. Ask yourself… is it really worth it?

Got Porn? What Are Some Great Erotic Movies to Get HER in the Mood?

Fact is most women aren’t turned on by the hard core stuff you see on Pay-Per-View and the Playboy channel…

The hard core stuff may work for the guys, but chances are it’ll do little or nothing for her. She most likely wants something with a little more warm up time and some intellectual stimulation, with a little slow seduction mixed in.

And I think most guys will agree that it’s well worth the extra time to get their partner as revved up as they are.

Certainly there’s lots of adult live video available online in every imaginable genre, much of it free on sites like Totally Free Cams and iFriends (warning: NSFW).

There’s something to be found for every imaginable sex fantasy and fetish out there.

But how about finding something different… some hot steamy sex movies that will get you both excited and ready for a memorable night of hot, passionate sexual adventure?

The Question

My wife had suggested watching porn together to get her excited before having sex. I thought it was a great idea, but I had a hard time selecting a video that isn’t too raunchy or distasteful… do you have any recommendations?

The Answer

Fact is hard core porn doesn’t really get women excited and in the mood. It’s just a little too over the top for most women. For this reason a lot of men think women don’t like watching sex movies. Nothing could be further from the truth – women just have slightly different tastes.

So why not try a different twist? How about some steamy erotic movies that will get you both excited and ready for a memorable night of hot, passionate sexual adventure?

Sexy, Erotic Thrillers

There are quite a few options in the erotic thriller category, many of which are truly good quality movies that include a real plot and real characters with depth – the kind you can actually relate to.

An erotic thriller should have the key ingredients to get you both going in the right direction: sexual attraction and lust, a little danger and excitement, sexual intrigue or forbidden passions, and slow seduction.

Here are some of our favorite hot erotic thrillers

Start with these and see what happens

Get a couple of these and plan to stay in for a hot movie date with your partner. See how you two feel when things start to get hot – and guys, when you start to get really excited, wait another 15 minutes to give her time to catch up…

P.S. – If anyone knows of any similar movies that we don’t have listed, add a comment and share you favorites. We’re always looking for new erotic movies to watch together.

But if you still find yourself looking for something more hard core, then check out some of the adult live streaming video sites like Totally Free Cams or iFriends (warning: NSFW).