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How To Tell Him You’ve Been Faking Your Orgasm

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An orgasm is something many women fake, but you definitely have to come clean if you want to actually have a decent sex life. Here’s how to tell him.

No guy wants to know that you’ve been faking your orgasm, but you have been and you’ve decided you want to tell him the truth: he’s not doing it for you. This is a delicate conversation to say the least. How do you do it? How can you tell him you’ve been faking your orgasm?

What She Said About Your Fake Orgasm:

Why have you been faking? I don’t understand women that think its ok to pretend that something is working for them so in turn, their guy will continue to do it thinking that is what works! It would be so much easier to just let him know you didn’t come but he could do so-and-so and that might help! If you have been with a guy for a while and you have been faking it you are kinda screwed.

If you tell him now you are going to shatter his little perfect sex world and take away all his glory! It’s like giving him the Olympic gold and then taking it back because you lied about the scoring. Or giving him a puppy then running it over. OK, that was extreme but guys really take pride in getting their women off which is why it is never good to fake it. When you fake it you are just denying yourself pleasure and setting your guy up to continue to fail you.

Let’s say you are not in the mood for sex or too tired etc, there is nothing wrong with telling your man that you didn’t come but had a great time getting him off. Or telling him that you really loved all the foreplay but for one reason or another, tonight was not your night. If you honestly do not resent the fact that he didn’t get you off then reassure him that he can get you next time. If you are left with”Pink Balls” (female blue balls) then you might need to take matters into your own hands, or take his head into your lap. But, what ever you do, don’t fake it.

Alas, if you have been faking it and you feel you must tell him, do not do it when you two are having sex or right after you had sex. So how do you bring it up? Well, a great trick is to use media! So, wait until something like a TV show or magazine article mentions it and then you can casually say “Sometimes (not all the time, even if it is all the time never say all the time!!!) when we are having sex i don’t come and in order to help you finish i fake my orgasm”. There, honest and quick. But be prepared for him to care and even be a bit bothered that you have been faking. You need to reassure that he is still the man, so let him know the reasons why you have been faking.

Some of these reasons could be:

  1. You love what he does to you, it makes you feel so good but sometimes it gets so intense you fake it.
  2. You could say that you like how he feels inside you and don’t always need to come.
  3. You were so tired but love all the foreplay and all you really needed was a little bit of loving. Anything around those lines should be helpful as he tries to pick his deflated ego.

Also, please know you do deserve to come every single time you have sex, so don’t think that it’s all about him! Do not play the “I didn’t need to come” card all the time. So now that you have confessed you two need to get on figuring out what he can do, or what you can do or what a battery operated friend can do to get you there. If you are ballsy enough to admit that you have been faking then you are ballsy enough to bring a vibrator to bed.

What He Said About Your Fake Orgasm:

This conversation isn’t going to be easy, and it’s probably going to hurt him. Men are all about the idea of doing the job well, and they take pride in it. If you’ve been faking it, you’ve been telling him that he has been doing it right and that’s not true. Now you’re going to pull the rug out from under him and he’s going to land on his ass.

In addition to the pain in his ass, will be the pain in his chest. You’ll break his heart. I don’t know if you should come out and say it, but if you have to, say “I always enjoy sex with you, but I don’t always achieve orgasm. Let’s work on that together. Here are the following things I’d like to try.” Telling him straight up that your faking your orgasm isn’t pleasant, so be sure to have other options ready and let him know you enjoy having sex with him and want to continue to do so.

Also, if you do have orgasm with him from say oral sex or anal sex or by hand and not intercourse, let him know and maybe suggest toy use, but that’s another column left for another time.

How To Identify REAL Female Orgasms

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A female orgasm gives off specific physical signs. Her pulse quickens, her breathing shortens, and her blood pressure increases. Her vaginal opening also gets smaller while the length can increase up to two inches to accommodate something larger than a finger. The entire length of her clitoris both internally and externally fills with blood and gets hard, in the very same way your penis gets hard when you are aroused.

The G-Spot also sticks out more so that it can be easily felt, and the clitoral head starts hiding again so that it doesn’t get too stimulated before reaching peak. You may even notice her labia majora and minora getting tighter and darker, as they stiffen because of the extra blood flow and sensitivity.

Stage 1 – Prior To The Orgasm

Just before orgasm, your partner’s body will increase the intensity all on its own, by ramping up her blood pressure, skin flushing, heart beat and blood flow to a frenzied pace, one that can’t continue for any length of time. Peaking occurs during orgasm, where all of the built-up tension explodes out through the muscles and fibres of her body.

Contractions overtake her sexual organs, and they pulse rhythmically until she has exhausted the energy and they slow to a stop. Some women will continue to feel these contractions for up to twenty minutes after orgasm, or continue the intense orgasm on throughout your intercourse!

Stage 2 – During The Orgasm

During a female orgasm, her vaginal walls vibrate strongly in tandem with her pelvic floor muscles at a rate of approximately once per second. As her pelvic area contracts, oxytocin flows through her system, especially her uterus, and increases her feelings of comfort and satiety. Some women will experience female ejaculation with some clear, milky fluid along with each contraction, either in a strong gush or a slow trickle, especially with G-Spot stimulation.

The length of time that she can continue to have a female orgasm can range from a couple of seconds to several minutes, with half a dozen contractions on average. Having said that, some women will orgasm very quickly and without many contractions at all, while others have reported orgasmic experiences of an hour or more!

Stage 3 – After The Orgasm

After the orgasmic contractions are finished, the last stage of the process is her body’s release of the frenetic tension from the events building up to the climax. She will get back to her normal state relatively quickly, or with the right kind of touch might be able to start the whole process over again, bypassing the foreplay stage if things get heated again right away. This is where men and women tend to differ the most when it comes to sexual release: gents usually require some downtime to recuperate after climax, and can’t nearly as often sustain an erection after ejaculation.

The only thing you can bank on when it comes to orgasm is this: if you want to get your partner from a non-aroused state to climax, you’ll have to give her consistent, rhythmic sexual stimulation and increase the tension throughout the experience, appropriate to the phase she’s in. This attentive devotion is what will get her all the way to the Promised Land.