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6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax!

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According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

There are many reasons why women don’t reach orgasm. Some of them maybe men’s faults but a lot can be because of her too!

Foreplay? What Foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

She’s Thinking About Too Much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.)

She’s Full Of Insecurities

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: “Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?”

If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good, especially down there.” or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

She Doesn’t Know Her Own Body

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of masturbation when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?

The best thing is that it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However, here are some clues to save you a few steps:

You’re Not Paying Attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms.’ As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!

To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!” while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”

You’re Changing Techniques Too Fast

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.

So keep this in mind – when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location – it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too!

Mutual Masturbation – How To Get Your Partner To Try It

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Mutual masturbation can be something fun and exciting to add to your sex  life. Masturbation doesn’t have to be something you hide from your significant other, or that you do in the dark in secret. You can enjoy masturbating with your lover, while watching them do it too. Sound like fun? Here’s how to get your lover into it!

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What Is Mutual Masturbation?

To put it simply, it’s when you masturbate yourself in front of your lover and they masturbate themselves in front of you. It can be at the same time, but it doesn’t have to be. You can also take turns putting on a great show for each other – but most people who do this usually end up getting so turned on that they start touching themselves anyway.

Most couples are too shy to try this – in fact, most people are too shy to talk about masturbation in general – but it can be a great way to bond sexually with your partner. You can bond emotionally by watching each other give themselves pleasure, and you can also pick up some great tips on where they like to be touched and how they like to be stroked.

Get Comfortable With The Topic

First of all, if you’re uncomfortable with the topic of self love in general, it’s time to pony up and get comfortable with it. Rest assured, everyone does it – men and women alike. Although our society places taboos on masturbation (heck, some people even say that it makes you go blind or makes hair grow on the palms of your hands), there’s really nothing wrong with it and it’s a perfectly normal and healthy thing for both men and women to do. Educate yourself about masturbation and get over your preconceived notions that it’s “bad” or “wrong.”

Encourage Your Partner To Do It

Before you jump right in to mutual masturbation, you have to get your partner comfortable with it too. Too often, couples masturbate in secret without ever talking about it with each other. It doesn’t have to be that way! It’s not something to be jealous of, so encourage your partner to masturbate in addition to a healthy sex life with you. Get them a sex toy to enjoy on their own – there are tons of great sex toys for both girls and guys! Don’t think that the sex toy world is limited to vibrators for women. There is so much more out there! Explore some online sex toy stores – if you get the right ones, your lover may find them intriguing enough to try!

Make sure you give them plenty of privacy and time alone to enjoy their masturbation. Honor their privacy and don’t ever bust in on them if you know or suspect they’re masturbating. If the door is closed, knock!

Talk About It With Your Significant Other

If you and your significant other have never had the “masturbation” talk, go ahead and have it! Share stories with each other about your first time doing it or if you ever got caught doing it. Talk about how it’s normal and natural, and let your lover know that you’re not going to judge them at all for their masturbation habits or what they enjoy. Share with your lover what you enjoy and what your fantasies are – take that leap and tell them what you like when you get it on with yourself and they may be more encouraged to share what they like with you!

Your First Time With Mutual Masturbation

You’ve gotten past the “masturbation conversation” and you and your lover are both comfortable talking about it and doing it. You feel ready to take the next step and try doing it in front of each other. For your first time, consider blindfolding your lover. This can be fun, but it also serves a purpose – your lover is going to feel more comfortable masturbating in front of you for the first time if they can’t see you’re there. You can watch them, but they can’t see you! Alternatively, you may feel more comfortable wearing a blindfold for the first time masturbating in front of your lover.

Another great idea is to turn the lights down very low, or use candles. The dim lighting makes it more comfortable for both of you, but still allows you both to see what is going on, which can be incredibly erotic.

Make Your Significant Other Feel Good About It

Don’t be shy when your lover is putting on the show – let them know how much you like it and how much it turns you on! This can be in the form of just vocalizing your pleasure or even dirty talk, which can make it even more erotic for them. Touch yourself while they’re masturbating, so they can see just how turned on you are at the sight of them masturbating. If you want to get your lover to do it more often, you’ve got to give them positive feedback. Don’t be the freak that just sits in the corner staring – get into it! Let your lover know that you’re into it! Enjoy it and have fun with it.

Getting Into A Groove

You’ve tried mutual masturbation for the first time and you really like it – so how do you take it a step further? Try different sex positions when you do – sitting in front of each other is nice, but you can also try lying down, or with one of you lying in the bed and the other sitting in a chair. Use your imagination and consider different possibilities and different ways to try it.

Auto Cunnilingus – Can Women Lick Their Own Clitoris?

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Auto cunnilingus is where women bend forward enough to give themselves oral sex – but can they really do this? You’ve seen contortionists on television and in movies bend ways you didn’t even imagine they could, but can flexible women actually go down on themselves? Is it even possible?

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What Is Auto Cunnilingus?

Auto cunnilingus is the act of a woman bending forward far enough to reach their tongue to their clitoris and licking it as a form of female masturbation. It sounds difficult to do – and it is! Very few women are able to do this! Some men can give themselves oral sex too – this is called auto fellatio. With auto fellatio, a man will bend forward far enough to suck on his own penis. Very rarely if ever is a man who can do this able to actually give himself a full on blowjob. What usually happens is the man sucks on the head of his penis while he masturbates the shaft with his hand.

It is much harder for women to give themselves oral sex, simply because they have to bend down a lot farther to reach their own clitoris. While you won’t see many people engaging in self oral sex, you’ll see that there are far less women who are able to do it than men who can.

Can A Woman Really Stretch That Far?

While it is possible for a woman to be flexible enough to bend far enough forward that she can reach her vagina with her mouth, it is very rare indeed. Very few women can actually do this and if they can, it’s usually because they’ve had some sort of gymnastics training and have had lots of practice with flexibility or are a contortionist, who bend their bodies to extreme angles for entertainment.

Women who can give themselves auto cunnilingus can usually only go down on themselves for a few seconds, possibly up to a minute or two. Certainly not long enough to give themselves an orgasm without additional masturbation with their fingers or a sex toy.

The most common sex position for auto cunnilingus is lying on the back with the hands under the buttocks. The woman can lean her neck and head forward, while using her arms to push her bottom towards her head. Also, a woman may find it easier if she has someone to help her with bending. It may be easier for her to relax her body and focus on reaching the clitoris while a partner sits behind her and gently pushes her bottom forward.

Can Women Learn To Be That Flexible?

It’s possible for women who aren’t able to lick their own clitoris to learn how to do it, but it requires some real motivation. Generally, it’s not something that you can try once or twice and be able to do – it takes years of practice to be able to train your body to be that flexible. It’s not easy, and it’s not going to happen quickly. You generally have to be fit to begin with, and training your body to stretch that much takes time and patience. Even contortionists and trained gymnasts have to work very hard to be able to stretch that much.

If you’d like to learn how to stretch like that, take it slow. Start with small stretches and work your way up. Don’t push yourself too hard – you could really end up hurting yourself! Take your time – since this isn’t something that is going to happen right away, it’s important that it’s something you really want to be able to do.

A Word Of Caution

Bending the body to such extreme angles like with auto cunnilingus can be dangerous. Most people’s bodies are not designed to stretch that much or contort into those types of extreme positions. While trained gymnasts, extremely flexible people and contortionists may be able to get into these types of positions without hurting themselves, it’s likely that your average gal trying to do this may end up with a sprain or a stretched or torn ligament.

Before you attempt to try giving yourself oral sex, make sure that you are well aware that you can do some serious damage to your muscles, joints and tendons if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re fit and healthy enough to try and if it hurts a lot, stop!

Mutual Masturbation: How To Get Your Man To Try It

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Mutual masturbation can be super fun, but it can be difficult to get a guy into it. Of course, guys love watching a woman masturbate, but a surprising amount of guys are actually too shy to do the same in front of their girl. If you want to try mutual masturbation, here’s how you can get him interested.

Why Isn’t He Jumping At The Chance?

You’d think that the majority of guys would actually be jumping at the chance to not only watch their girl masturbate, but to masturbate with her. While some guys are confident enough to be able to do this, many of them aren’t. Why?

He’s Afraid Of You Seeing His Porn

A lot of guys are too shy to try mutual masturbation because they think they need porn to masturbate – and they’re afraid of you seeing it. Many men watch porn that they would never in a million years want their partners to see. Whether it’s fetish porn that he thinks his partner would be appalled by, or he just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings (because in most guys’ experiences, women are bothered by their men looking at porn). Either way, he may be too shy to try mutual masturbation simply because he doesn’t want to turn on his porn in front of you.

He’s Been Busted Too Many Times For Masturbation

Unfortunately, there are lots of women that think that if a guy is sexually satisfied in his relationship, that he won’t need to masturbate. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! It’s normal and healthy for a man to masturbate – and even watch porn – if he’s in a sexually satisfying relationship. In fact, it’s healthy for women too.

He may also feel shame over masturbation, especially if he grew up being taught that masturbation was wrong or sinful. Not that he doesn’t do it – he does. But he may do it quickly to “get it over with” and may not see it as something pleasurable or even enjoyable, just something that “has to be done.”

Make Him Feel Comfortable With It In General

If the idea of mutual masturbation seems to make him uncomfortable, it could be due to harbored feelings about masturbation. Encourage him to enjoy his self-love. Get him a masturbation sleeve as a gift, and make sure it’s in an easy to get to place with a bottle of lube. Leave him alone in the house for long enough periods of time that he can do it without fear of being interrupted. If you catch him, politely excuse yourself and allow him to continue if he wants.

Also, talk to him about it. Let him know that you do it, and don’t be afraid to let him catch you getting your self love on too. Don’t act ashamed about it and over time, he will learn not to be ashamed as well.

Try Watching Porn With Mutual Masturbation

While just watching you do yourself may be enough visual stimulation to get him off, watching a porn flick with him while you do might help him get even more into it. However, don’t suggest that he pick it out or that he use any of the videos or pictures that he does when he’s alone. Instead, choose a naughty film together. Select one neither of you have ever seen before, or select one and surprise him with it. Ask him if he’d like to watch it, or just put it on loud enough for him to hear it and see what happens!

Let Him Watch You First

Start by letting him watch you first, before you ask him to engage in mutual masturbation. Go slow at first, and give him time to ogle you and really get turned on. Let him watch you touch your clitoris, or use a sex toy on yourself to stimulate your g-spot. Show no inhibitions – spread your legs wide and let him see every bit of what you’re doing. Chances are, with a combination of sexy moves and confidence, he won’t be able to help but touch himself!

Give Him A Great Handjob And Encourage Him To Take Over

You can also nudge him towards mutual masturbation by giving him a great handjob. Make sure you have your sex toy nearby too, and settle in to give him a great handjob. Use lube and start slow, building speed until he’s incredibly turned on. When he’s closer to orgasm (but not too close), replace your hand with his and whisper to him that you’d like to see him do it himself. He’ll most likely happily oblige.

However, you can also get him close to orgasm and then stop, proceeding to touch yourself or use your sex toy. Chances are, he’s not going to be able to stop himself from masturbating while watching you!

Fingers vs. Sex Toys – Which Is Better?

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Female masturbation can be done with almost anything – hands, sex toys or even a shower head. All women are different and prefer their own style of masturbation – no two women will ever do it exactly the same. But which is better – a vibrator or your hands?

Pros Of Fingering

While some women just enjoy the buzz that a good vibrator can give them, there are certain things that fingers can do that sex toys can’t. While sex toys offer stronger, faster and harder orgasms than  hands can give you in most cases, there are definitely some benefits to “clicking your own mouse” the old fashioned way.

They’re Readily Available Whenever You Want Them

Your hands are attached to you, so if you want to masturbate in the bathroom on a plane or even in your car while stuck in traffic, you can without having to bring any extra tools with you.

Easy To Clean

No special cleansers required here – all it takes to get your hands clean before and after female masturbation is to wash them with good old old fashioned soap and water. In fact, if you’re doing it in the bathroom, you can wash your hands as you come out with no one being the wiser! If you’re not in a place where washing your hands is an option, a good dollop of hand sanitizer will do in a pinch.

Easier To Hide What You’re Doing If You Get Caught Masturbating

If you get caught going for the gold with a huge dildo, it’s going to be pretty difficult to try to hide what you’re doing or explain yourself – unless you want to just come out there and admit you’ve been getting it on with yourself. If you’re fingering yourself and you get caught, it is much, much easier to hide it or pretend that you weren’t masturbating. Not like getting caught with a sex toy!

A Man Is Less Intimidated By Fingers If He’s Intimidated By Sex Toys

If you’re with a guy who has a vendetta against sex toys (and some of them do), he’s going to be less intimidated if he knows you masturbate with your hands instead of a vibrator. While there’s nothing wrong with masturbating either way, some men just feel like they can’t compete with something that runs off of batteries.

Cons Of Using Your Fingers

While there are many benefits to using your hands during female masturbation, there are definitely some cons as well. Ignoring the downfalls of using your hands to get yourself off boils down to the personal preference of each woman.

They May Be Too Short To Reach Your G-Spot

If you have very short arms, hands or fingers, they may not reach your g-spot. While this is fine for women who enjoy fingering their clitoris during female masturbation, women who really enjoy intense g-spot orgasms are going to be disappointed.

It May Take Longer To Reach Orgasm

Vibrators allow women to achieve orgasms faster than ever before, and often the climax is much more intense. Not so with fingers – while you can reach orgasm and it can be just as good, it may take a lot longer to push yourself over the edge. This is especially true if you’re used to masturbating with a vibrator and switch to doing it with your hands.

It May Be Very Uncomfortable To Bend Your Arm And Wrist Enough To Reach Your G-Spot

The angle required to reach the g-spot properly is intense – reaching your own hand down there and angling your fingers in the right way may be uncomfortable or painful. You may be able to do it for a short period of time, but coupled with the movement of your fingers to stimulate your g-spot, you may not be able to keep it up for very long.

Bacteria From Under Your Nails Can Cause Infections

If you’re not good about washing your hands before you masturbate, bacteria under your nails can be introduced into your vagina and cause bacterial or yeast infections. This is why proper hygiene is so important!

Long Nails Can Scratch And Cut

Many women enjoy having long nails or wear acrylic nails. If you do, your long nails can scratch or cut the inside of your vagina. Ouch! If you prefer to masturbate with your hands, try to keep your nails trimmed or file the edges so they are not sharp.

Pros Of Using Sex Toys For Female Masturbation

While many of the benefits of using sex toys during female masturbation are obvious – vibrations, hello? – there are also a number of other benefits of choosing a toy instead of your hands when getting busy by yourself.

Many Sex Toys Are Made Specifically For G-Spot Stimulation

While fingering will do the job most of the time, many sex toys are created specifically for g-spot stimulation. This means that they’re much better at reaching the right spot than you are, and can often provide stronger and faster stimulation.

Some Of Them Vibrate

Sex toys can vibrate. Enough said!

Sex Toys Don’t Get Cramped Up During Use

While ignoring pain or discomfort in your hands is easier to do when you’re almost there, you don’t have to do that with a sex toy. They never get tired or cramped up during use – if your hands get cramped up right before you reach orgasm and you’re unable to finish, it’s all over and you’re going to be an unhappy camper for the rest of the day!

They Come In Different Sizes, Shapes And Materials

Women like different things during female masturbation, and there are as many different kinds of sex toys out there as there are women (almost). They come in a variety of different sizes and shapes, so each woman can find the one she likes best and is most comfortable with.

Most Sex Toys Will Provide More Than One Kind Of Stimulation At A Time

Yes, you can stimulate your clitoris and your g-spot at the same time with your hands, but do you have a third appendage for your anus as well? Also, can you vibrate your clitoris, rub your g-spot, stimulate your anus and just inside your vaginal canal with rotating beads all at the same time? Nope! But a sex toy can. Sex toys are an excellent way to achieve a blended orgasm!

Cons Of Sex Toys

While a vibrator may be the holy grail of female masturbation for many women, believe it or not there are some downfalls to using a sex toy when you’re pleasuring yourself.

They’re More Conspicuous And Harder To Hide

If you get caught fingering yourself, it’s super easy to yank your hands out of your pants and pretend you really weren’t doing anything at all – and you may very well get away with it. Getting caught with a sex toy? Not so much. They’re harder to hide (especially if yours is a vibrating rabbit or a large dildo) and can be very loud if they vibrate. Many of them can’t be taken with you places and can’t be explained away if you get caught using them.

If you want a vibrator that is quiet and easy to tuck away, try smaller, portable ones that don’t require batteries. These tend to be quieter and can easily be stashed in your pocket or purse.

Toys Do Wear Out

Eventually, even your most loved sex toy will bite the dust. It may last you years if it’s produced by a trusted manufacturer and made with quality materials, but eventually, you’ll have to say goodbye to it. Your hands are with you forever.

Many Need Batteries Replaced Or Recharging

Sex toys that require batteries or recharging can be inconvenient. Rechargeable vibrators are less inconvenient than battery operated ones (it’s a pain to continually have to buy batteries every time you’re at the store), but if you’ve ever had a vibrator die on you when you’re thisclose to climax, you may swear by your hands from then on.

Some Of Them Aren’t As Easy To Clean

Some sex toys have lots of crevices and crannies that can get bodily fluids stuck in them – and require intense cleaning if you don’t want your toy to get funky. In some cases, they require special cleaners and can’t be cleaned with traditional soap and water. Other toys aren’t waterproof, so they can’t be wiped down. Nothing can be cleaner than your hands after a good old fashioned wash!