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Dating Advice: Who Should Make the First Move?

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In today’s dating world, long gone are the days of Sadie Hawkins dances. Now it’s as common for girls to ask out guys as it is the other way around. Yet some women still prefer to be pursued, and some men still prefer to be the pursuer. When you’ve met someone new and are interested in dating them, how can you tell which of you should make the first move? Observing their general behavior during your initial encounter can be very helpful, along with assessing just how comfortable you are being the asker.

Should She Ask Him Out?

If you’re the lady in the equation, it’s important to figure out what kind of guy you’re dealing with. If he’s a confident guy and is showing obvious interest in you, there’s a good chance he’ll do the asking. Of course, his big personality may attract lots of women, so he may be used to being hotly pursued.

If he seems like the life of the party, you can actually go either way. You can rest assured that he’s accustomed to women asking him out, so he won’t be bothered by you making the move. On the other hand, playing hard to get and making him do some of the work might actually pay off more for you. Men who are used to being chased after are often more intrigued by the women that make them do the chasing.

How To Do It

If you follow the latter option, make sure to flirt it up and make your affection for him just obvious enough that he knows you’re interested.Then sit back and wait for him to come to you. If you find yourself interested in a shy type, you’re most likely going to have to ask him out. This is especially true if you’re not shy yourself, as your overt confidence may be slightly intimidating to a shy guy. If you yourself are also shy or simply don’t believe in making the first move, take heart.

The best way to ask him out without really doing so is getting a friend to intervene. Have a mutual friend let him know that you’re interested in a seemingly uncontrived way. That should be all the confidence boosting he’ll need to make a move on you.

Should He Ask Her Out?

What if you’re the guy in the scenario? Guys can always feel comfortable with making the first move. Even if the woman you ask is used to asking guys out first, she won’t be put off by you beating her to the punch. Luckily for them, men have never had to worry about the unfortunate stigma of seeming desperate if they pursue someone.

Some women still fear that stigma though, so you can make it easier on her and ask a girl out. The modern man does need to worry about becoming too complacent, though. If you’re the type of guy that gets asked out all the time, be careful not to get too comfortable with it.

If you assume that you should let the ladies do all the work, you may miss out on some great catches. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who might be a little shy, a tad old fashioned, or just prefer to feel sought after. Even if you’re a lady magnet, you should take a chance now and again and ask out a girl you’re into.

On the flip side, even if you’re an old fashioned guy and prefer to do the asking, don’t shy away from a woman who’s bold enough to ask you out. In the current dating scene, a woman can make the first move without being a generally pushy person.

Be True To Yourself

Finally, whether you’re a boy or a girl, remain true to your own style. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking someone out, then don’t. That just means that you need to be pursued by someone to be happy, so you probably won’t enjoy dating a person whom you had to make the first move with anyway. Odds are good they’ll keep expecting you to take the lead throughout the relationship, which is probably not your thing.

More importantly, so much of the early dating process is about being in the moment. Trust your gut! If you feel like doing the asking, go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy or gal you ask will say no. That just means it probably wasn’t meant to be to begin with. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to approaching a potential date.

If you can get a feel for the person you’re interested in and go with what’s comfortable for you, you’ll make the right decision every time.

Q&A: How To Deal With Rumors

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When dating, there is bound to be gossip between mutual friends, especially if you’re younger and in high school and college. While gossip initially doesn’t seem like a big deal, it can definitely get on your nerves and impact your friendships and relationships if there is gossip amongst your friends or family that isn’t true. Here’s how to nip it in the bud, before it gets out of control.

I have a question about dealing with rumors: I met a girl through mutual friends and we instantly hit it off. We’ve been hanging out a lot and now our mutual friends are starting to thing her and I are secretly dating. The problem is, both of us ONLY want to be friends and now these rumors are starting to impact our friendship. We’ve confronted our friends, but they’re not buying it. Any suggestions?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhbSzovHRkU&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

People Love Good Gossip

People really enjoy a good rumor – to the point where some people may make them up just for their own entertainment. This usually causes drama, which most people enjoy watching – but of course, they don’t want to be involved. Consider the possibility that someone started the gossip intentionally to create drama. Also consider the possibility that it was simply your friends misinterpreting what is really going on in the situation.

Even if someone didn’t start the gossip about you and your friend supposedly dating on purpose, it can still affect you deeply. It can affect your relationships with others, including keeping people who might want to date you from actually asking you out because they heard you were dating someone else. It can also impact the friendship you have with this special person. You may be tempted to end the friendship just to get others to stop thinking you’re dating.

How Rumors Get Spread

Gossip is easy to spread, but difficult to get rid of. If your friend tells you something and you repeat that to someone else, you’ve participated in gossip right there. Because what will happen, is you will get the story twisted just a little bit. Even if you didn’t mean to, you’re going to leave the person you told with a slightly different impression of what your friend actually told you. Once that person tells someone and they tell someone and so on and so on, the idea of what happened is not even close to what actually happened.

Did Your Friends Pick Up On Your Chemistry?

Your friends may have not intended to start gossip at all – in fact, they may have simply noticed that you and your special friend have great chemistry together. Maybe they saw you flirting with each other or just having a great time hanging out together and saw it for what it really was – two great friends with the possibility of something more. Just because you weren’t dating this person at the time the gossip got started, doesn’t mean that there isn’t something there between you two that could evolve into something more. Consider the possibility that your friends picked up on a connection between you two that you have been in the dark about.

Jealousy Can Fuel Gossip

Jealousy is a huge instigator of gossip. People who are feeling jealous may start hearsay just to get under your skin. Perhaps your friends or their friends are jealous because you both have been neglecting your individual friends to hang out together. Another possibility is that a particular friend started the rumor because they wanted to date you – and are upset that you’re spending so much time with this new friend than them. The same applies to your new friend – perhaps one of their friends wanted to date them and are jealous of how much time they’re spending with you.

Let Go Of The Hearsay

Hearsay is just that – hearsay. There’s no reason to hold on to the gossip, because it’s not doing you any good. In fact, it’s probably doing more harm to obsess over what is being said about you and your new friend than it would be to let it go. So just let it go. Learn to disregard what people way about you and your new friendship with this person and just live your live the way you want to. Do what makes you happy and let people say whatever they’re going to say. Remember the saying, “This too shall pass.” The rumors about you dating your new friend will go away eventually and you’ll be left with a great friendship afterwards.

Decide Not To Let It Affect You

The only way that gossip like that will affect you and your new friendship is if you let it. If you let what the other people are saying affect you, it could possibly destroy the relationship. Communicate with your friend and decide together that you’re not going to let the rumors affect what you have together. Also, if you believe your friends are the start of the gossip, have the confidence to let them know that you don’t appreciate them. Let them know the truth and ask them to stop spreading rumors about you. If you’ve asked them once, ask them again. If they’re really your friends, they’ll respect you and stop talking about you behind your back.

Do Women Show Their Cleavage On Purpose?

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When dating, do all ladies expose their breasts intentionally to get a man’s attention, or is it something that happens unintentionally? Do some girls do it deliberately while others do it by accident? Here’s the truth on why girls might expose their breasts deliberately, such as while dating, but also why it’s probably not intentional every time her breasts show.

Do you think girls frequently expose their breasts on purpose? How often do girls show it intentionally, or is it usually inadvertently?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zyKXzk518c&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

It Depends On A Woman’s Mood

Whether a woman shows her breasts or not depends entirely on what mood she’s in. In fact, pretty much everything a woman does depends on what mood she’s in! Perhaps she’s dating around and feeling like flirting a little – she is probably going to be more inclined to show her breasts off in a low cut shirt. If she is not feeling as sexy, she will probably wear a shirt that doesn’t show as much.

However, if a woman’s breasts are showing, don’t assume that it is because she wanted it to.  It could possibly be unintentional as well. She may not have given it any thought at all – certainly not as much thought as many men do. Most ladies are very much into fashion and style – that’s a no brainer. So a woman might wear a shirt that is low cut and shows the tops of a her breasts simply because she likes the shirt, or it might go really well with an outfit or a favorite piece of jewelry.

Men Want To See Breasts

Girls know from experience in the dating field that men respond very well to short shorts and a little boob action. If a woman is trying to get a date, she might wear a lower cut shirt in the hopes that a guy will notice her and come up and introduce himself to her and possibly ask her out. There’s a reason that Victoria’s Secret push up bras are so popular! Chances are, if men responded as well to a long sleeve turtleneck as they did a deep v-neck top, turtlenecks would be the new “in fashion” item!

The same goes for lingerie. Lingerie wasn’t designed because ladies enjoy walking around in garter belts and crotchless panties. It’s almost never something a woman gets for herself if she doesn’t have a man who will get to see it on her. It was designed with men in mind. Men love to see girls’ bodies and lingerie was created to accent and show off certain parts of girls’ bodies that guys find attractive!

It Might Just Be Hot Out

Another reason a woman might be showing her breasts accidentally is if she’s wearing a low cut shirt or tank top because it’s hot out. Just like men take their shirts completely off or wear a tank top or thin shirt sometimes if it’s very warm out, a woman might wear a shirt that has a little less to it for comfort reasons or because she wants to get a little sun.

Also, ladies that have very large breasts get warmer up there more quickly than ladies with smaller breasts. It can get a little damp and sweaty up there if a woman has larger breasts, which can be extremely uncomfortable and even cause rashes or chafing. So it makes sense that wearing a low cut shirt would help keep a woman more cool and comfortable during the warmer months.

Are There Girls That Use Their Breasts To Entice And Manipulate Men?

There are girls out there that will use their bodies to their advantage to attract men and make them start thinking about sex from the get go. Whether they’re wearing itty bitty shorts, a low cut shirt, a backless dress or a miniskirt, they’re doing it because they know it will grab a lot of men’s attention and that’s what they’re after. But that doesn’t mean that all girls who expose their breasts are doing it for this particular reason.

While there are a portion of ladies that do expose their breasts intentionally to manipulate men, this number is far lower than the number of men who notice! Men think about it much more than girls do, so chances are, if you’re noticing a woman’s breasts in a low cut shirt, she probably didn’t do it deliberately. She probably has another reason for letting the girls out – like comfort or fashion.

Not Having Sex? You NEED To Watch This!

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Sex is something just about everyone wants – but not everyone always gets it. Some single guys get a lot of sex and other guys hardly get any at all – and dating isn’t as fun when you’re in the latter category. If you’re not getting any, you’re probably wondering what the difference is between you and the guys who are getting laid every weekend – or more. If you’re not getting any, here’s how to fix it and start getting more sex!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCnYG2MIJLw&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

If You’re Single And Not Getting Sex

If you’re single and you’re not getting any, these three steps will help you get laid more often. However, if you’re married and looking to get more sex, these techniques are definitely not for you! If you follow these steps while you’re married, it will likely cause more trouble than it’s worth, considering that these techniques are all about how to score with lots of different women.

Step One: Approach One Girl A Day And Ask For Her Phone Number

Make a committment to approach one new woman a day and ask her for her phone number (bonus points if flirting is involved). This simultaneously achieves two things. First, you will inherently become much more comfortable talking to women. When you’re constantly going up to women and making conversation with them, you become more and more aware of what to say and when to say it.

Second, it increases your chances of getting a girl to actually say “yes” simply because after talking to so many women, one of them is bound to. By asking tons of women out, you’re actually improving your odds at getting a date – learn to focus on the number of women that say “yes” instead of the number of women that don’t. Even if you ask fifty women for their phone number and only get two responses, that’s still two women that are interested in dating you and possibly sleeping with you!

Step Two: Design A Date With Multiple Activities – Ending At Your Place

You’re much more likely to have sex on the first date if you design it so that it ends up at your place. Plan a date where you’re moving around a lot and doing multiple activities. Dinner and a movie is cliche, and afterwards, there can be an awkward moment when you’re figuring out what to do next, especially if you’ve hit it off and want to continue spending time with each other.

Here are a few ways you can convince her to go to your place, after you’ve taken her to a few other places first.

Make or purchase a really yummy dessert. Then, let her know that you “made” her something really delicious and she just has to come over and try it. This sounds cheesy, but it actually does work!

Use the things around you to your advantage. For example, do you have a great view from your balcony or your backyard? Do you have a pool or some really exquisite fine art? Perhaps you have a crazy roommate that your date just has to come meet. Look at the things around you and decide what could possibly be interesting to a woman and use that to your advantage when trying to get her to come back to your place.

Step Three: Acquire Sexual Skills

You can get different women back to your place with the above steps, but if you’re not wanting to bomb out and never have sex again with this same girl, you’re going to need to acquire some great sexual skills. This is the true secret to getting a lot of sex all the time. Most guys that get sex have a few girls that they have sex with all the time, rather than doing it with someone new every time. This is because a guy that is really good in bed will have the women he sleeps with coming back for more!

Take some time to research on how to give a woman a really great orgasm. Learn how to please a woman with incredible oral sex, and then learn how to stimulate the g-spot or the a-spot and give her types of orgasms she’s never had before. If you learn what a woman likes in bed, you’re really only going to have to date a few women – because if you blow their minds during sex, they’e going to want to go back to your place again and again.

How To Use Eye Contact To Approach Women

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Dating is most successful when you use body language to your advantage. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of body language and it alone can attract a woman to you. Girls are actually CONSTANTLY trying to approach and talk to you. Now you might be saying that you have never had a girl come up and talk to you out of the blue, however by no means does this mean that she did not approach you. Girls just view approaching a stranger very different than men do.

Women Definitely Want To Be Approached

When they’re dating (not in a relationship), girls are constantly giving signs for people to come up and talk to them. Sometimes it is a blatant sign directed towards one guy, or it can just be the way she is carrying herself to hope that any guy comes up to spark a conversation. For the most part, I feel 80% of men miss out on these signs or misread them.

Just accept by rule of thumb that a girl will not go out of her way and directly spark a conversation up with you, however she will throw up all kinds of signs for you to come over and talk to her. As someone that is naturally good at dating women, it is your job to be able to read these signs and immediately act upon them.

Before we get into specific signs that girls give, I want to introduce you to the most powerful weapon in any naturals’ arsenal. It is by far the best tool we have for creating a fast and strong connection with the opposite sex. It is in effect before you even say your first words, all the way to the moment she is back in your bedroom. This tool is non-other than eye contact.

Using Your Eyes The Right Way

To master this dating tool you must know how to use your eyes in the right way. If you are like I used to be, you probably never really thought about the eye contact you were making. However, once I started incorporating it properly, I don’t know how I ever did without it.

I first noticed its power as I was walking through a mall. When you are walking in any busy area, there are constantly people you just happen to notice. Many people walk by without catching your eye, while others just seem to draw your attention. Sometimes it is just your mind creating awareness of the space around you, and other time it is something like a pretty girl walking by that catches your attention, either way your focus is always shifting from person to person.

It goes the same way with girls, as they are walking down the street they are constantly looking at people, sometimes you may see them walk right by you without them noticing you, and other times you will catch them make brief eye contact with you. This is your moment to go up to her and start flirting. If a girl walking by has made some form of eye contact with you, it is either her creating awareness of her surroundings, or there is something about you that caught her attention. Either way you have just entered her conscious awareness, making any approach you make with less likely to catch her off guard and will lead to a smoother interaction.

Being Aware Of The People Around You

Try to take note of all the people walking by that you make eye contact with, and then start to get into the habit of approaching these people, you will notice a much warmer response because just from her noticing you for a brief second, you have become less of a stranger in her mind. There is a slight level of familiarity that will help you get your foot in the door with every interaction.

There are more blatant signs that girls give in a variety of situations that are even more powerful than just the passing glance. If you go out to a bar, club, or any place of social nature, you are bound to run into three types of girls giving off very unique signs for you to talk to them. Learn to recognize these types of girls and always approach them.

Signs She Wants To Talk To You

The Gazing Girl

This is the most common sign/type of girl you will see. It is similar to the passing glance we were talking about but is a little more direct. Say you are sitting with your friends at one end of the bar and you notice a girl at another end look over at you and your friends. She is not going to do anything overly seductive; she is just going to make a brief second of eye contact with you then break it.

Now girls already think this a big sign for a guy to approach them but they do not realize how subtle and easy to dismiss it is. So they will follow up once more with a look over. If you have not already gotten and up and are on your way to approach, then consider this second glance a flashing neon light saying GO TALK TO HER. Girls think this sign is obvious and get frustrated that guys miss it. She will not keep going out of her way to make eye contact with you. In almost all cases she will only make it twice (if that) then move on.

The Wandering Girl

Another form of body language girls will use to show they want to be approached is by creating proximity to you. They will either leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, and in turn walk past you, or they will choose to form their group somewhere within a 15 to 20 foot proximity of yourself.

Consider all girls within 20 feet of you as a girl that wants to be approached by you. The closer she is, the more she wants to be approached. If she is this close to you, she is aware of your existence in one form of another so even if she was not intentionally making herself closer to you, she is comfortable with you being in her near proximity. This in turn will result in a more successful and warmer response to any approach you make.

The Dancing Girl

This girl is easy to spot, she will be hanging out with her group of friends, not really paying attention and simply dancing or bobbing her head to the song that is being played. Simply go up and approach and before the conversation can really even spark say how you like this song and tell her to “come dance.” Very assertive and easy.

After the song is over you can suggest walking off the dance floor and talking to her. Chat her up and ask her out on a date. Also look for this sign when you are talking up any girl at a bar or club, if you are having a good conversation and she starts to seem into the song, it is her sign that she wants to dance with you and is often a great way to begin any form of escalation towards sex.

The key to this dating advice is being more aware of your surroundings and to pay attention to the people looking at you/near you. You will begin to notice countless opportunities for you to approach and they all start with a simple subtle glance. Don’t miss them!

Final note on eye contact: When conversing with a girl, make an effort to hold eye contact just a few seconds longer than you normally would. Girls naturally hold eye contact about two seconds longer than guys feel comfortable doing so and if you have eye contact and your focus in the right place, the girl will start to feel an immediate strong bond with you.

It is also a great tool for creating sexual tension and sometimes eye contact can fill any void in conversation. If the girl likes you, she will make an effort to hold eye contact with you, allow her to and be comfortable with it.