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Dating Tips: Do You Lead People On?

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Within the realm of dating, it’s important to make sure that you’re sending the right signals. You don’t want to be conveying the message that you’re not interested in someone if you are, and you most certainly don’t want to convince someone that you like them if you don’t. If you’re a naturally flirty and friendly person, you may be doing just that.

Are You Leading People On?

How, then, can you tell if you lead people on? Think back over the years of your dating life and ask yourself how many times the guys or girls you were (at most) platonically interested in made a play for you. If it’s only happened once or twice, then you’re probably not to blame. Most likely the one or two people who mistakenly thought you liked them back were just blinded by their own hopefulness. If it’s happened on multiple occasions, then you probably are leading on unsuspecting people. However unintentional, you need to get a handle on what you’ve been doing to confuse these folks. It can make the difference between losing a good friend over a misunderstanding or not.

Flirting typically involves a lot of the same things that being friendly or outgoing do—talking animatedly, laughing loudly when the person you’re speaking with makes jokes, leaning in close when you talk, etc. If you’re a generally amicable person, try paying attention to your actions the next time you talk to someone you only want to befriend. If you’re touching them a lot when you talk—patting them on the back, playfully hitting them in the arm when they say something funny—that contact can be misinterpreted as flirting. There’s no reason not to act like yourself, but you may want to tone down some of these actions. Try to limit the physical contact you make with people you’re not interested in dating. While a handshake or hug is fine for when you first see them, it is best not to linger during either action.

Sending Other Mixed Signals

There are other dating mistakes that can lead people on, as well. If you spend too much one-on-one time together, most especially if it’s all initiated by you, that definitely sends mixed signals. This doesn’t mean you have to stop hanging out with your friend, but you should try to mix things up and hang with a bigger group more often. If you currently have a significant other or crush, regularly complaining to your friend about them can cause confusion. Your pal may suspect that, since things are awry, he or she has found the perfect moment to swoop in on you. Either talk up your current partner or love interest, or limit talking about them for the most part. If your friend thinks you’re happily taken or satisfied with being single, they probably won’t go after you.

All in all, if you review your dating habits, you’ll probably get to the root of the problem, whether you’re too much of a flirt or are spending way too much time with your friend. Just remember that you wouldn’t want anyone to lead you on romantically. That should be all the incentive you need to keep things honest and straightforward with any potentially confused friends and acquaintances.

Dating Tips – Is She Committed For The Long Haul?

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When dating, especially if you’ve been dating someone for awhile, it is completely natural to wonder where the relationship is headed. Are you headed for commitment or is it still just something casual and fun? Either way, it’s important to know what is going on – the trick is, however, that this is a topic that is not always easy to discuss. Here are some tips on how to talk to your partner about commitment, where your relationship stands and where they think it’s headed.

Question: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I thought we were both committed to a long term relationship but lately she has been saying things that make me think otherwise. What is the best way to approach this topic and to find out where she expects our relationship to be heading?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9qCm61Ymqo[/youtube]

The Importance Of Communicating With Your Partner

Communication with your partner during the dating stage is essential to learning where your relationship is and where it’s going. Some people are able to “let it ride” and simply play it by ear, letting it go wherever it goes, but many others are not and need to be in the know about what is happening between them and their partners. It’s easy for two people to miscommunicate and give each other weird signals, simply because men and women have totally different ways of communicating. If your partner is giving you a weird vibe about where the relationship is going – for example, you thought she was in it for the long haul but she is starting to act more like you two are simply dating and having fun – don’t be quick to judge just based on the feelings you’re getting from her. You may be assuming the wrong thing. Instead, recognize the importance of communicating with your partner and plan a time to sit down with them and talk about what is going on in the partnership and where each of you see it going.

How To Approach The Topic The Right Way

While sitting down with your partner and talking to them about the relationship sounds absolutely frightening, it doesn’t have to be if you learn to approach the topic the right way. First of all, never say, “We have to talk.” This will shut them down faster than you ever would have imagined! Instead, bring up the topic casually while having dinner or sitting on the couch watching television or a movie. Let her know that you really enjoy spending time with her, but that you’ve been getting a weird vibe from her about the where you two stand together. Ask her if it’s true and if she’s been meaning to give those vibes, or if it’s simply a misunderstanding. You can also ask her if she sees you and her heading into long term relationship territory, but just make sure you’re not being critical at all. Ask questions, but you absolutely don’t want to place blame on your partner for anything or criticize anything they’ve said or done. Criticism isn’t necessary and the negativity will only cause you and your partner to start arguing and fighting. You especially want to avoid giving them an ultimatum – that is the fastest way to end a new relationship.

When You And Your Partner Don’t Agree

If you and your partner don’t agree on where your partnership stands and where it’s headed, it’s time to make a decision. For example, say she isn’t interested in commitment and simply wants to continue dating and having fun and you would rather see what you two have actually go somewhere. You can choose to continue dating her and enjoy spending time with her, waiting to see if she comes around and wants to take what you two have to the next level. If you choose to head down this road though, you have to understand that she may never want to take it to the next level and may even dump you if something she’s more interested in comes along. This may or may not be a risk you are willing to take. The other option you have is to break up with her and end the relationship so you can start looking for someone who isn’t afraid of commitment. Either way, when you and your partner don’t agree on where the relationship is headed, it can hurt. Decisons that you make from here on out won’t be easy, but remember what your goals are and what you’re really looking for in life and in a partnership.

Online Dating – How To Tell The Real Deal From A Total Fake

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Here’s the thing with online dating and chat lines – some people are honest, and really want to find their mate, while others are there only to mess with people or worse – hurt them in some way. It’s better to play it safe when dating online, but it can be difficult to know if the person you’re dating has ulterior motives or not. Here’s how you can know for certain!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQsa3d6WO-c[/youtube]

Always Trust Your Dating Instincts

Your dating instincts are the most powerful tool at your disposal for spotting a bad online dating profile or to tell if someone is lying to you. You definitely don’t want to underestimate your gut feelings and do something that the little voice in the back of your head is telling you not to do. If your gut is telling you that there’s something fishy going on, don’t ignore it!

Online dating can be especially challenging because your brain fills in the things you don’t know – with how you want the other person to be. You may be tempted to ignore the alarm bells that are going off because he or she is saying everything right, but if you sense that something isn’t right, it probably isn’t. They be really sweet, caring and seem perfect, but if your instinct is telling you to run, do it. There are other sweet, awesome people that you will meet online that won’t make you feel weird.

Keep An Eye Out For Lies

When dating online, keep an eye out for inconsistencies in their stories. Liars will almost always get tripped up in their lies, especially if they lie often. It’s often hard to keep lies straight, so the man or woman you’re dating may say one thing one time and say something completely different another time without even knowing it. If he says he hates football when you first talk to him and later he says he has to get to a game (or watch a game), that’s probably just the surface of the lies he’s telling you.

Keep an eye out for conflicting information about looks, hobbies, habits, friends, etc. Also, don’t be afraid to call them out on something that you’re not sure about – remember, you don’t them anything. You barely know them! If you come across an inconsistency in something they’ve said or done, speak up. Ask them about it. If they get flustered and can’t provide a good answer for you as to why they said one thing and did another (or whatever the situation may be), then you’ve probably caught them in a lie.

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True, It Usually Is

It’s hard to keep your ground when you’re being swept off your feet, but if the relationship seems too good to be true, it often is. It’s important to try to keep a level head when dating online or over a chat line, because if it seems like you’ve suddenly met Mr. or Mrs. Right and everything in your life is falling into place, you’re probably falling too hard for something that is definitely too good to be true.

A total fraud will try their absolute best to woo you, and if you’ve been looking for love for quite some time, it can be hard to resist someone who is doing and saying all of the right things. It’s important to stay vigilant when dating though, because something that seems perfect probably isn’t. A fake is probably working very hard to get you into their good graces so they can achieve whatever their goal is – whether that’s simply yanking people around or luring them into a trap that could cause you to end up in some very dangerous situations.

Try your best to keep your cool when you’re chatting online and don’t get too wrapped up in sweet phrases or gestures. Accept the niceties gracefully, but always keep your “weirdness radar” on so you can spot red flags right away. If the guy or girl you’re dating online seems totally perfect for you, take it with a grain of salt until they prove they are the real deal. Consider taking it offline, but make sure you take some safety precautions first such as meeting in public the first several times and letting a friend know where you’re going, who you’re going to be with and when you’ll be back. Once your date proves their motives are pure, you can relax (a little!)

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Know If He’s Just In It For The Sex?

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Guys love sex. It’s just a fact of life. But if you’re with a guy who only seems to want to have sex or make out, you might be wondering if he’s only in the relationship for the sex. If you think he only cares about getting in between the sheets with you, there are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand the situation and his true motives. Here’s what to do if you think he’s only interested in sex, so you can figure out if that’s really what is going on or if he’s just a normal guy who can’t stop thinking about it.

Question: How do I know if a guy really loves and respects me, or if he is just into sex and making out?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XOzOR43vJQ[/youtube]

All Guys Are Into Sex And Making Out – Don’t Hold It Against Him

If you think he’s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have sex or make out all the time, you could be very, very wrong. Most – if not all – guys are very into sex and making out and it’s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he may not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Don’t hold it against him just because he loves sex, oral sex, kissing, making out and anything with you that involves getting to feel you up. Many girls think that if they want to find out if their guy only cares about the sex, they can withhold sex and see if he still enjoys hanging out with her. This is totally unfair to him! Don’t punish him – instead, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will give you a better handle on the situation without hurting your guy unnecessarily.

How To Tell If He’s Only In It For The Sex

If you’re really beginning to think that he only wants to be with you because he likes having sex with you, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • Do you engage in other activities with him?
  • How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
  • How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
  • Do you hang out together with his friends and your friends?
  • Is he truly interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
  • Do you communicate outside the bedroom?
  • Does he call you late at night, only for booty calls?
  • Does he come by only for sex?

If he does ok on most of these questions, then he probably enjoys both being in a relationship with you or dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex will tend not to hide it very well at all – men are definitely not masters of hiding their motives by nature. If that’s his game, he’ll basically meet up with you only for sex. He won’t try to fake it by alternating a nice date with a booty call – he’ll go straight for the booty call at 2 a.m. after he’s been partying with his friends all night. He won’t want to hang out with you in front of his friends, or hang out with yours at all. He won’t call or text you just to “chat.” He’ll almost always, if not every time, suggest sex right away. If you’re not up for hitting the sheets, he’ll make up an excuse later as to why he can’t hang out. No, Grandma really isn’t sick – he just found something better to do because you didn’t want to “do it.” If he spends time with you outside of the bedroom, hangs out with your friends and his (with you) and sometimes calls you just to say “hey,” he is probably not only in it for the sex – he’s just an ordinary guy who loves it and loves it with you!

What To Do If He Only Cares About Sex

If your guy fits the bill of someone who wants sex and only sex, stop and think about where you’re willing to go with this. Is the sex great and would you otherwise be single without any sex? Why not keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for the real deal? If you’re not into that, consider breaking it off with him. You don’t have to waste your time with someone who wants only sex unless that’s what you want too.

5 Tips for Sexy Flirting – That Doesn’t Go Too Far

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When scoping out the dating scene, it’s easy to spot someone you might be interested in having a conversation with and seeing if there is any chemistry. What isn’t easy is flirting with them in a sexy way without being creepy or going too far. Many men try to flirt in a sexy way and end up going way farther than is comfortable for both him and her and after that, there’s no way he’s going to get her number. Here are 5 great tips on sexy flirting that you can use and be confident that you’re not going to push the wrong buttons.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QrwLpdPkD4[/youtube]

Flirting Tip #1 – Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very important flirting tool that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. In fact, eye contact really is the cornerstone of good flirting techniques. You can use eye contact in a crowded room to let someone know you’re interested in them, or you can use eye contact when someone is speaking to let them know you’re truly interested in what they have to say. When making eye contact across a room to let a girl or guy know that you’re into them, simply gaze across the room at them and once you make eye contact with them, hold it for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with. Just don’t stare at them in a creepy way – you’ll eventually need to break the eye contact and move across the room to introduce yourself.

Flirting Tip #2 – A Genuine Smile

There’s nothing more sexy than a genuine smile! Smiling is a great way to let someone know you’re interested in them, whether it’s from across the room or while you’re having a conversation with them. Don’t fake it either – a fake smile is easy to spot a mile away. Fake smiling, or smiling too much may make you seem a little strange. Smile genuinely and they’ll know you’re having a great time. Smiling also goes well with eye contact when making the effort to flirt. People are naturally attracted to someone who will look them in the eyes and give them a great, heart warming smile. Don’t pretend to be too cool to smile, because it definitely won’t score you any phone numbers to take home.

Flirting Tip #3 – Mirroring

Pay attention to their body language and make sure you are mirroring what they’re doing without mimicking it move for move. Completely mimicking their actions will definitely make you look creepy and it won’t be long before you’re sitting at the bar by yourself because her friend had some kind of crisis. For example, if she touches your leg lightly, place your hand over hers. If she leans towards you while talking to you, lean in towards her slightly too. Body language is incredibly powerful and if you put off the wrong body language vibes, she may think that you’re not into her even if you are.

Flirting Tip#4 – Use Lingering Touches

It’s perfectly normal for people to touch each other during casual conversation. For example, a light touch on the shoulder when laughing at a joke they said or brushing against them to get by them are all perfectly normal parts of a casual conversation. However, if you’re flirting with a girl and want her to know that you’re really interested in her, use lingering touches. A lingering touch is a touch that lasts just a few seconds longer than it normally would, but not too long – you want to be sexy not creepy. Without lingering touches, she may assume you’re just “one of the girl friends” and you’ll end up getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s okay to let him or her know that you care with a light but lingering touch.

Flirting Tip #5 – Lick Your Lips

Draw attention to your sexy, sensuous lips by licking them subtly, biting the corner of your lip or touching your lips. This signals to the other person that you definitely want in on some kissing action. Don’t draw too much attention to your mouth by doing this constantly – that will just make you look weird – but sly lip licking or nibbling here and there will have a powerful impact on the person you’re interested in. You’ll also want to pay attention to whether they’re licking their lips or touching them, because this is a signal to you that they want to kiss as well. If they’re giving off the signals of wanting to be kissed, lean over and whisper something in their ear. Linger there for just a second. Chances are, they’ll turn their head slightly towards you for the “accidentally on purpose” kiss.