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You are here: Home / Archives for foreplay

How To Drive Her INSANE With Soft & Hardcore Dirty Talk!

By loveandsex

Dirty talk can be done anytime during the sexual dance, but we’ll discuss it here as part of sex talk before intercourse.

Dirty talk gives an expectation, an idea or a come-on for your partner. Its purpose is to create naughty pictures and generate dirty thoughts in your lover’s mind. And you do this through highly descriptive, highly sensual language.

Your job is to create a picture she can almost see, hear, feel, taste and smell.

Dirty talk provides an avenue for rush. Civil society has always had a rebellious streak and it is human nature to feel a high engaging in something naughty, prohibited or frowned upon. It makes us feel so alive doing something we’re not supposed to. And the very idea of getting away with it, makes us feel superior, which makes it even hotter!

Be warned though – many find dirty talk hot, but not everybody is a big fan. Some find it inappropriate, lewd and down right offensive – like listening to someone dragging fingernails on a chalkboard. This is very important as the same statement can be effective or offensive, depending on your skill, timing and the woman you’re with.

Sensual Softcore

It’s the world of Double Meanings & Sexual Innuendoes – a good set-up before the step up, perhaps something to get her warmed-up at the office, or even a few steps outside the bedroom door.

We know what a ‘banana’ is, but we also know it suggests things other than the fruit monkeys live for. She need not say: I wanna slide your cock in my mouth. She can just hint that she wants a taste of your banana. A woman may feel icky at the word “cock,” but she’ll have no qualms expressing desire for ‘banana.’ The resulting ambiguity serves as major turn-on.

Because of double meanings, hot dogs and buns become something else. Balls, First Base & Home Run put on meanings not even remotely related to sports.

And the thing is, the double meaning potential need not be obvious. In fact, it need not be there at all! Sexual innuendos prove that anything can be made “dirty.” Yes, anything! Even trivial stuff like can openers, catfish, toothpaste, and the moon & the stars – all these can be made dirty. Simply back them up with a sexy tone, lascivious look, heavy breathing, puckered lips, a mischievous wink, a knowing smile, a tongue sweeping across the lips etc. Anything you pair with these can become dirty. With softcore, it’s not so much the precise words as it is the manner you deliver them. Because you can scream “pussy” all day and your girl still thinks you’re referring to some cat.

Deliciously Naughty Hardcore

Softcore is suggestive, hardcore is explicit – it doesn’t say ‘banana,’ it says ‘dick’ or some other slang. It doesn’t hesitate, stall, or curtsy. It is often blunt, direct, and often carries the themes of dominance, authority, aggression and possession. It is declaring what you want and delivering it in the most evocative manner. Hardcore simply lets the listener deal with the real thing. This is not the time for rainbows, flowers and butterflies – it is speaking with license.

Banned from public discourse, hardcore dirty talk can make Grandma Lily faint. It’s very effective in that it lets you almost feel the words – therein lies its diabolical power. Because it is direct, hardcore gives a woman a more vivid picture.

Softcore and hardcore dirty talk have their parts to play in the sexual game. Just as hardcore is ineffective in the early goings, softcore  can be too wussy or even inappropriate in the heat of things.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, dirty talk, foreplay, sex tips

Erotic Massage For Couples

By loveandsex

Erotic massage is not just a great way to transition into sexy time with your lover, because it helps to calm and relax her, to get her in the mood. Those same calming effects, applied to your body, can help you to take your time during lovemaking, and focus your intentions on pleasing your wife instead of hurrying to please yourself.

Before you dive right in to a sensual massage, take some time with your wife to decide what you want out of the experience. Do you have time for this to turn into sex? Do you want to make sure you both have a good massage before you take that next step?

Or is this just a brief interlude during a busy day, with the knowledge that you will come back together, more relaxed and in the mood, later on, when the rest of the day is complete? Perhaps this is just a chance for the two of you to connect on an intimate level when her libido is waning or you are saving your energy for a special weekend sex marathon!

The Extra Mile

No matter what the purpose, it’s nice to be clear with each other about what you expect. It will help you get a good idea of what to wear, how to set up the room, and what accessories or sex toys to bring along. Also, she is much more likely to enjoy the massage if she knows whether or not it is going to turn into steamy sex, so be sure to take the time to plan before you start working her muscles.

In Position

Start out with your wife lying face down on her stomach, with her head turned to one side. Have her lay her arms down by her side. She may want a small pillow or none at all, to be comfortable in this position, so let her find the spot that works for her. When she is ready, you have your choice of top positions.

Depending on the height and location of your bed, (or perhaps you’re very serious about massage and have acquired your own table!) you can decide what the best position is to enable you to reach the areas of her body that need the most attention. Move around a bit to be able to give her a full-body rub down.

Try kneeling and straddling her thighs, pressed up against her bum so you can reach her shoulders, back, hips and butt. You can also have her spread her legs while you kneel between them, or try kneeling at her side instead. If your bed is high enough, or she is on a table, you can stand next to her.

Just Breathe

The breath is incredibly important during this intimate experience, allowing you to connect with each other and helping you to stay focused on your partner. If you have a hard time focusing on her breath long enough to continue breathing with her the entire time that you are massaging, at least take a few moments before you begin and each time you switch positions to match her rate of respiration.

An alternate breath from Tantric methods that is supposed to aid in the exchange of energy between two partners is to breath alternately – in as she exhales, then out as she inhales. Start slow and deep, and if the rate builds to a crescendo, let it happen naturally. Bring it back down to a slow, deep, calming breath before you head back to the real world.

Rub Just Right

You’re right if you have already realized that a deep muscle massage or a stimulating surface rub are both very different from the kind of clitoris and vagina touching you’re probably used to.

If you are both naked enough to use massage oil or lube, it will help keep your hands slick and smooth for an easy glide on her skin. Be sure to use the whole palm and fingers of both hands for best results. First, put a bit of oil in your hands and rub them together to warm it. Using a flat hand spread out the oil in large, circular motions on her back, being careful not to press directly on the spine anywhere.

When she is well-covered in a natural massage oil, try locating and loosening her sore muscles with a gently squeeze. Use the heel of your thumb to gently press the muscles of her shoulders, back, butt and legs toward the cupped fingers of your hand. Again, avoid pressing directly on the spine.

Follow her lead and listen to her sounds for clues about which spots need more work.

When you have given her a thorough massage, ask her to do you too, lying face down as well. If you want to continue this massage into some sexy time, next have her lie face up, and take some time to massage and caress her face, neck and shoulders, breasts, hips, legs and feet before heading in for a vulva massage and finger play and hopefully an orgasm or two. After she has climaxed, suggest you switch again. Position yourself face up on the table, and let her decide how she wants to return the favor!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, erotic massage, foreplay, sex tips

4 Secrets To Great Kissing

By loveandsex

Kissing tips are essential if you want to deliver a really excellent kiss. Here are the secrets you might be missing when it comes to kissing!

1. Women Love To Kiss

Certainly not the first time blokes heard of that one, women are nagging for it. But in spite of the flood of headlines for lip action, the response has come in short supply. Either that, or women just can’t get enough no matter what.

Get this. For the ladies, kissing is enough. While guys tend to see kisses as prelude to hot sex, women have no qualms seeing it as an end unto itself. For them, a kiss need not lead to anything, it doesn’t have to be foreplay. It can be a stand-alone, pleasurable, loving act unto itself.

Now, tell that to a horndog and he’ll bitch about how women are a bunch of tease. The XY brain has difficulty processing how women stay happy with simple lip locks when it knows that sex is up for grabs. “Let’s use the bed for goodnessakes!” When one already knows the ruckus of intercourse, kissing, by comparison, becomes lame.

2. Let Kissing Be Enough For You

But here’s the thing: To become a great kisser, accept the real possibility that tongue action may be all you’re getting in a given night.

Go kiss, but don’t expect clothes to come afalling every time. Relish the lip action, relax your jaws, lips & tongue, and don’t think of anything else. Avoid thoughts of sex. This alone already makes you a better kisser. When you’re not wondering where that last condom is, you do better.

3. Learn To Get Good If You Aren’t Already

To be a good kisser is an imperative, there is no other resort. When it comes to liplocks, a woman never excuses the lame ones. She believes she can find out everything just from the way a guy smooches. It’s crazy! She thinks she has this lip-guided intuition – and sloppy kissers always go down the drain. A terrible smooch can change her perception of you.

And guess what, women read something into good kissers – that they’re also studs between the sheets. When she thinks this, you’re making it easier for her to go va-voom with your flow. So read up on some kissing tips and don’t be shy about it!

4. Create Sexual Tension

Now, the secret to a great kiss is the psychological set-up. There has to be some sort of sexual tension‘ before your lips touch. Only dive when there’s enough tension.

Again, this entails teasing, you have to make her want it.

There are several ways to achieve this. You can for example gently caress her cheeks, chin, lips or hair before the kiss. Or look longingly into her eyes and survey her face. Lean in as if to kiss her, then stop a few centimeters before your lips touch, breathe deeply and give her a sigh. Or prelude it by rubbing noses. With eyes closed, you can also nuzzle around the cheekbone, neck and below the ear zone. Set the kiss right so she’ll appreciate it when you finally let her have it.

Filed Under: Kissing Tagged With: better sex, foreplay, kissing, kissing tips

5 Sex Games To Play When You’re Bored

By serenapaige

Sex games are great way to not only improve your sex life and intimacy but to also sure a common problem of boredom around the home. Many couples find that six games can be an excellent way to pass the time on rainy weekends or as a way to break up the monotony during the week.

If you would like to increase the intimacy in your relationship while also spicing up your sex life, these sex games are the cure you have been looking for. Here are 5 that you and your partner will love when you’re bored.

1. Meeting For The First Time

If you have ever had a one night stand you know the excitement that comes with meeting a new person. Building of the sexual tension between the two of you and not really knowing the other person can be a powerful aphrodisiac. If you’re looking for great sex game to play meeting for the first time can help you live out a fantasy of meeting your partner in a whole new light. Pick a local bar that you can meet each other at.

Have your partner dress-up and go to the bar at a specific time. Meet your partner at the bar and pretend that you’re both meeting each other for the first time. Try to pick up your partner and take her back to your place. Reenacting this one night stand scenario is an excellent way to live out fantasies that you have never explored before.

2. Power Control

Power control is a great game for couples who like to mix up the dominance in the bedroom. Get an egg timer and set it to 3 minutes. Determined which partner is going to be dominant first. Allow the egg timer to start and that partner will be the dominant one until the timer has reached the three minutes.

Once the timer has reached the three minutes, the dominance will shift to the other partner. Reset the timer each time. See how long each of you can last under this power struggle game. If you or your partner has an affinity for being the dominant or the submissive one in the bedroom, you will definitely find that this game will bring you out of your comfort zone.

3. Blindfold

The blindfold was made for sex. In this game, you or your partner will be blindfolded on the bed. They have to keep the blindfold on the entire time. The other partner must tease and caress their partner while the other doesn’t know what to expect next. This is a great game that you can play with each other and it incorporates trust and intimacy into the relationship. One of the features of this game is that it relies on the element of surprise and anticipation. The only rule to the game is that you can’t peek.

4. Master/Slave

It’s not the most original game, it’s a staple for a reason. The master slave relationship is usually found in the BDSM scene, but you can use a much more light version of the game for your regular romps in the bedroom. One of your is the master and the other is the slave. You can choose whether or not to blindfold, tie up or do anything else you deem appropriate to the slave. The slave must abide by all of your rules at all times.

If you are the master, make sure that you’re not pushing the limits on what your partner is going to feel comfortable with. The last thing that you want is for them to break character instead of being completely enticed with your sexual dominance.

5. Strip Poker

Strip poker has been seen in movies, TV shows and in the adult industry for a reason: it’s fun! Try your hand at strip poker with your wife or husband to really get a prize for winning. If your partner does not know how to play poker, teach them. Each time they lose a hand, they lose a piece of clothing.

If you really want to make things interesting, each of you can also bet sexual favors. For instance, you can bet a blowjob or an erotic massage on the hand instead of clothing. This is one of the best games to play on a rainy night or on a weekend getaway. Make sure that you have a proper deck of cards so there is no cheating and so neither of you has an unfair advantage over the other.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, foreplay, sex games, sex tips

Are You Following These 4 Rules Of Foreplay?

By loveandsex

Foreplay is essential for great sex, but do you really know what you’re doing? Here are some before sex musts that you definitely don’t want to avoid.

Most men and women do not understand these rules and are, as a result, not as good at foreplay as they could be. These are important to learn now because when you and your partner are in the heat of the moment, you won’t have time to check back with each other. So let’s take a look at how the rules of it work.

1. No Genital Touching

Foreplay does not involve genital touching. Some couples I’ve worked with had the belief that if the woman was giving the man a handjob or if the man was playing with her clitoris, then they were engaging in foreplay. WRONG! It does not involve touching your partner’s genitals in any manner.

So when it comes to it, keep your hands away from your partner’s vagina until you know that she is well into the second stage (plateau). Also, if she tries to touch your penis, you should pull her hand away. By holding back, you’ll be increasing sexual tension in both of you.

2. Oral Sex Isn’t Foreplay

Foreplay is not the same as oral sex. Another problem I’ve encountered with couples is that they falsely believe that oral sex counts. While it’s true that some people would agree with that idea, the truth is that oral sex is just another variation of vaginal intercourse.

Also, refer back to the first guidelines and keep your hands (and your tongue) off of each other’s genitals.

3. Go Slow!

It should be slow. It is not meant to be a quick hurdle men have to jump over to get to the finish line. Instead, it is supposed to be a slow, gradual increase in sexual arousal and tension. When it’s done properly, women become so aroused that they will actually beg for penetration. Imagine how that would make you feel as a lover!

4. Foreplay Can Happen Anywhere!

It can begin anywhere. Another misconception about foreplay is that it must begin in the location where sex is going to happen. For example, if you are going to have sex in the bedroom, then foreplay starts when you get into the bedroom. WRONG!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

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