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How To Read A Woman’s Mind – In Bed

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Sex tips are often techniques, but what if you could find sex tips that taught you how to read a woman’s MIND? Here’s what she says – and what she MEANS.

Everyone has heard that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. Unfortunately, most men don’t fully appreciate the difference between the languages on Mars and Venus. Sure, you’re using the same words, but they have quite different meanings. Below are some common miscommunications between the genders.

Kissing

She said: “Kiss me.”

You heard: “Kiss me, hump my leg, and grab my breasts.”

What she means: Okay, maybe occasionally she does mean that, but you should know when she just means, “Kiss me.” Kissing is a wonderful intimacy builder, and it’s often overlooked. I know, since the day you first noticed that girls are awesome, you’ve been dreaming of day you’d have a woman you were allowed to touch all you wanted. However, if you’re tweaking her nipples and grabbing her crotch every time she leans in for a kiss, you’re going to desensitize her! You will lose a lot of your sex tips as ways to get her really steamed up. Sometimes kissing is just kissing. Learn to appreciate this as a showing of affection, not an opportunity to cop a feel.

Being Gentle

She said: “Be gentle.”

You heard: “Awkwardly fumble around my breasts and knead me with your member.”

What she means: Be gentle! The idea of gentle is completely different for men than for women. This comes naturally to her, but it is usually a learned behavior for men. Think about how she touches you, her gentle strokes sending electric shocks through your body. Her feather-light touches are like a sensory overload. Mimic this in your treatment of her. Pretend you’re tickling her with your finger tips or your lips. Not only do these sex tips send warm fuzzies through her body, but it allows you to really experience her flesh.

Getting Wild

She said: “Do whatever you want with me.”

You Heard: “Here’s the green light to stick it in my back door!”

What she means: This is a common miscommunication between men and women. When a woman puts the ball in your court to guide the sexual encounter, she is not asking to be defiled in every way your male brain has conceived. She is actually asking you to take care of her. If you immediately go for anal sex while pulling her hair and demanding she call you “daddy,” it is a violation of the trust she put in you. As sexual intimacy develops, so can the tricks about which you’ve been fantasizing. However, early in the relationship, be respectful of your partner’s comfort zone. If you abuse her trust, you’ll never progress in relationship – physical or emotional.

Can Sex Toys Spice Up Our Relationship?

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Sex toys are great for solo play, but can they make things better with your partner? Find out now!

Should I bring sex toys into our bedroom? I’m looking to spice up my sex life with my man, but I’m not sure how he’ll respond. I really want to try them. How do I work them in? (No pun intended.)

What She Said:

I’m going to cut right to the chase – Yes! Sex toys can add a new level of satisfaction for both you and your mate. There’s no shame in making them a part of your lovemaking.

Talk to your man first before introducing the toys of your (and his!) choice. Make sure the conversation takes place in a neutral zone – say the living room instead of the bedroom. It sounds like you’re slightly nervous about his response, so surprising him with a dildo between the sheets is definitely not the way to go!

Be Positive

It’s important to place emphasis on the positive. This is not personal. Let him know you love having sex with him and enjoy his lovemaking techniques. You don’t want to make him feel defensive or inadequate.

After you’ve established that you’re happy in the bedroom, let him know you’d like to add even more to the joy you two share. Have a catalogue (or website) marked with some ideas of things you’d like to try. Odds are he’ll be thrilled to help you explore. After all, the more aroused you are, the better it is for him too! Loving partners are usually open to growing and sharing – I have no doubt this will be the case here as well.

The final step is to go shopping together – either to your local sex store or online (Adam & Eve is great AND you can use Dan & Jennifer’s special offer code for 50% OFF almost any item and FREE shipping – offer code is DANJENN) and pick out your new pleasure seekers. Run home, wash ‘em off and go have fun!

What He Said:

Yeah, sex toys can help, If you can handle them. Not everyone is into that kind of thing. Many people are pretty vanilla out there. But everyone can get a little bit wilder, all they need is a little bit of encouragement. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction.

How Does Your Partner Feel About Sex Toys?

Notice I didn’t say a push or shove. This can’t just be your idea. This has to be his idea too. Get his input on the idea and see how he feels about certain toys and most importantly, try and find out what his specific turn ons or turn offs are and more importantly, why. Maybe he had a bad experience with a previous partner. Maybe he’s afraid he won’t be enough for you. Maybe he’s open to using them, but not shopping for them in public. Whatever the issue it can be overcome, but you have to find out what it is first.

After you do that, be very open to trying these things and be curious and non judgmental. Don’t be too attached to any one outcome. You’ll find one or more toys that you both will like, but it might take a little time to do so. And make sure to only nudge, never push.

3 Steps To Female Sexual Arousal

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Sex tips will only get you so far – if you don’t get how a woman is sexually aroused (it’s a whole process) then you’re going to crash and burn!

The Process Of Arousal

There’s a process to arousal, no matter if it’s with a man or a woman. Each step builds upon another, and without the ones that come before it, the next cannot occur. There’s a defined start, middle and end, with each item holding its own along the continuum. Each of the anatomical bits have a part to play in the process as well; some are small, others large, and yet others pop up at different times for different reasons. There is an ebb and flow of sorts to the process, where one thing slowly grows in importance and another falls away.

Step One: Foreplay

In the first part of female sexual response, foreplay is the main event, which propels a woman’s brain and body towards arousal. Some markers of this step are:

  • Hormones start flooding a woman’s system as soon sex enters her brain. If the process continues, she becomes “emotionally stoned” by one specific hormone, oxytocin, as one author by the name of Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., suggests in her book “The Alchemy of Love and Lust.”
  • Blood flow moves to focus more on the pelvic region of a woman’s body, and her genitals start to fill with blood. Some women you’ll be able to see the difference by looking at her vulva, as it’ll become darker the more excited and closer to orgasm she gets.
  • The skin is also an organ of the human body, and as such, it becomes more sensitized during this process.
  • Any breast play during this phase increases the oxytocin floating around in the bloodstream.
  • Both the nipples and breasts swell during this stage of the arousal process.
  • As more blood pumps through the vulva, the Bartholin’s Glands create thick lubrication to prepare for stimulation of the clitoris.
  • The Clitoral Head peeks out from underneath its Clitoral Hood.

Step Two: Climax

During this stage, the body tenses up, breathing gets shallower and faster, blood pressure rises, and the heart beats more quickly than during stage one. Also:

  • The vaginal opening gets smaller while internally it gets both wider and longer up to two inches difference
  • The clitoris body gets longer and firm, similar to how a penis stiffens
  • The G-Spot fills with blood and can easily be felt along the wall of the vagina
  • The Clitoral Head hides again as the ligament that holds it in place firms up; both parts will remain like this until climax occurs
  • Another ligament positioned along the uterus and ending at the Labia Minora tightens, thus involving the entire uterus during the sexual stimulation process

As sexual arousal continues, a woman:

  • Blushes along her face and chest
  • Breathes deeply
  • Increases her heart rate to a staggeringly quick beat; and
  • Has her Labia Minora flush with even more blood, until the whole area becomes dark purple.

Then, when she orgasms, all of this built up tension blows up during climax, where rhythmic contractions overtake her and then lessen in severity and speed as she releases.

Every second or so, the vaginal walls contract along with the pelvic floor muscles, and as the vaginal walls contract, the uterus also contracts because even more oxytocin is pumped into that general area. Each contraction provides a wave of pleasure, with some women ejaculating a small amount of clear fluid.

Step Three – Release

After the orgasmic event, a woman comes full circle to her normal, non-aroused status quo. This is where men and women differ the most strikingly during the arousal process. For the most part, men will lose their erections shortly after climax, and will enter into a stage of what researchers call the “refractory period” where they require a bit of down time before starting the circle again.

Also, women’s bodies don’t normally process oxytocin as a sleep-inducer (men do) their bodies aren’t extremely sensitive after orgasm (except for the Clitoral Head), and they can easily start the arousal process again without any waiting period.

The major difference between the genders with this downtime is that it leads to differing needs. Men want to roll over and sleep after sex, whereas women either want to go on and have multiple orgasms, or want to connect and snuggle before sleeping. Many a magazine articles written on the subject suggests a variety of tools to reduce the stress associated with these biological mandates, but in essence, the answer is simple: roll over and cuddle your partner as you fall asleep, and everyone is happy. It’s not asking either partner to stop what is natural to them, while still giving each what they need.

So, there’s female sexual arousal explained in a short, relatively simple manner, with a bit of comparison thrown in so you understand how it differs from a man’s.

Dirty Talk Basics – What You Need To Know!

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Dirty talk is an exceptional way to bring the heat back into the bedroom. Just don’t get started without reading these essentials first!

What Is Dirty Talk?

The purpose behind dirty talk is to show you a new way of communicating with your spouse.

Some call it pillow talk, sexy talk, erotic talk or bedroom’s mother tongue, but regardless of what dirty talk is referred to, it is simply honest and open communication with your partner while enjoying sex with one another. It is something that both men and women can use to bring more excitement and pleasure to their sex life.

Open lines of communication are expected for successful marriages when it comes to finances, children and other areas, yet communication in the bedroom still often remains an “off limits” area to many couples.

Why is it that a wife can tell her husband every single detail about an incident involving one of their children or a story involving one of her best friends, but when it comes down to talking with each other, one on one, about what they feel and yearn for in the bedroom they clam up?

Why Use Dirty Talk?

The most important thing to remember is that YOU control the amount of excitement, eroticism and passion that occurs in your bedroom (or elsewhere, for that matter). By using this form of expression together, you can choose to NOT settle for the ordinary!! After all, do you want to have an “off the charts” exciting sex life, or an all too common, sleepwalk through the motions, predictable routine?

Consider dirty talk as a new “spice” in a recipe you have been preparing for years. Maybe you have made the same homemade salsa for decades but you have recently heard about a new way of making it, so you decided to add in some black beans and fresh cilantro just to see if it would really give It a ‘kick’. The results? NOTHING SHORT OF FANTASTIC! You’re not sure why you never thought of adding something to the recipe before. Same basic ingredients (you, your mate and some incredible sex) – but adding in a brand new spice and voila!

Dirty Talk Isn’t Dirty

The main purpose of dirty talk, or as I prefer to refer to it: a ‘very sexy verbal exchange’ between you and your spouse, is to enhance the level of excitement and to help build the intensity between you and your mate.

It is simply an erotic use of the English language (or any language you use) and is an easy way to take your love making to an even more intimate level.

Some women will need to be persuaded that it’s okay and SAFE to have a vocabulary they maybe have deemed ‘trashy’ or felt like mimicked the ‘mouth of a sailor’ when they, in public, are sweet and demure. For most men, there isn’t much sexier, than that lovely, prim and proper, soccer mom wife of his, who chairs the PTA and sings in the choir, but is still his – all his – and VERY vocal about how he makes her feel when it’s just the two of them.

Great Sex Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life In The Bedroom

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Sex tips will undoubtedly make your lovemaking hotter – but these sex tips will set your bedroom on fire!

It appears I’m experiencing “the seven year itch.” I love my husband and all’s well at home – but I am bored in the bedroom. What’s the cure?

What She Said:

The cure is to get into the bedroom, pronto! Don’t delay. You have a lot of great things waiting for you as soon as you can break the boredom barrier. Some things that lie in store include a greater intimacy, a sense of play and lots of experimentation.

What you’re experiencing is completely normal, by the way. No couple can sustain the excitement and passion of the first months or years together. What comes in place of rip-your-clothes-off passion is a greater intimacy – physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, that doesn’t mean your love life has to grow stale.

Re-Introduce Foreplay

Let’s start with the advantages of a greater physical intimacy. Chances are that you know each other’s bodies like the back of your own hand.

You know the likes and dislikes, as well as the things that get each other off. While this is great information to have, there’s a danger in making sex perfunctory in order to expedite the end result, so to speak. The first step towards renewed sexual satisfaction? Stop taking the short cuts! Reintroduce foreplay, anticipation, role-play and time into your lovemaking. Experiment with toys. Check new positions of your list. Get some rubber sheets and whip cream. Whatever you do, make it fun!

Long Term Relationships Allow You To Really Up The Ante

Other benefits to a long-term relationship include the aforementioned expanded emotional and spiritual connections that can only come with time. Work that angle! Communicate with your mate about the need to spice things up. Make it a positive adventure. Don’t forget to take spirituality into the bedroom.

A torrid roll in the hay can be a blast; but so can fully appreciating the magnitude of the person you’re with for the long haul. Look into each other’s eyes. Tell one another what you love and appreciate about your mate. Soon that tenderness will translate into reignited passion.

What He Said:

It’s not rocket science. You guys are in a pattern. You need to break it. It’s that simple. Just sit down and identify the ways you guys do it. It’s probably the same every time, so this won’t take you very long. Resolve to never have sex like that again for the next thirty days. Then sit down and make a list of the things you’d like to do to each other or that you used to do to each other but stopped doing. Each of the next 30 days do one of those things. You can do more than one if you like, but you can’t do less.

New Sex Positions Could Be Key

Buy a book on sex positions. Go on vacation. Or just do it in a hotel in town while you have a sitter.

It doesn’t have to be a big production, though that’s cool too. You just need to do things a bit different and do so in a pressure free manner. Your boring sex life didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual process so getting back to the hot and nasty sex you had when you first started dating may take a bit of time and effort. It’s worth it.