Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for have better sex

How To Make Your Girl’s Sex Drive Stronger Than Yours!

By

Sex tips are definitely something you want to have on hand to keep your sex life fresh. If you want MORE sex, here’s how to revv up your lady’s sex drive.

Do you ever feel as though you have a HIGHER sex drive than your girl? Maybe you’re always the one who has to initiate sex, or maybe she’s just not in the mood as often as you are.

If you’re finding these things happening with your woman, you’re not alone.

But, I’m going to venture that the REASON WHY she doesn’t seem to want to make love as often as you do is NOT because she has a lower sex drive!

Why She Doesn’t “Want” Sex

What is really happening is you’re just not satisfying her enough during sex to make her CRAVE it!

You see, in order for a woman to experience REAL sexual pleasure, she MUST be having orgasms. Her moaning, saying its good, or just letting you have sex with her IS NOT ENOUGH. Think about how sex would feel for YOU if you always got “close” but were never able to fully get off. That would pretty much suck, right? Well that’s exactly what your girl is going through if you’re not giving her the mind-blowing orgasms she craves!

If you’re not giving your girl orgasms when you make love, it may SEEM like she is having fun. But in reality, she’s probably just being nice, and sleeping with you because she feels she has to. And if this is the case, then she’s not going to want to have sex with you very often.

Worst case scenario, if she’s been with a guy in the past who was capable of giving her orgasms – and you are not – she’s probably not going to stick around very long unless you are married or financially supporting her.

It’s sad, but true.

But fortunately since most guys DON’T know how to give a woman orgasms, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. (But in a way, isn’t that even MORE sad?!?)

Getting Her Off

On the upside, giving a woman orgasms is not difficult, it’s just DIFFERENT! A woman’s body works very differently than a man’s, and once you know the subtle differences, it’s actually very EASY to give your woman not just one orgasm, but 2, 3, 4 or more – even different kinds like blended orgasms!

When you ARE able to give your woman orgasms, sex with you is not frustrating… it’s FUN! So of course, she’ll want to have sex with you all the time! Often times, she’ll even be the one asking you for sex!

How To TELL If You Are Getting Her Off

The lesson to take away here is that your girl’s “sex drive” and how often she wants to have sex with you have nothing to do with body chemistry and everything to do with whether or not you are sexually satisfying her.

With this in mind, here’s how to tell if you are:

  • If your girl wants sex at least 3-4 times a week, then you are satisfying her.
  • If she DOESN’T want sex at least 3-4 times a week, then I am sorry, but you are not.

It’s really that simple.

How To Make Absolutely SURE You Satisfy Your Woman Every Time

Start by giving her a foreplay orgasm each and every time. Giving a girl an orgasm through intercourse is a MUCH more intense experience for a girl, and giving her one of these body-shaking orgasms usually requires you know some techniques.

On the other hand, giving a woman a foreplay orgasm is easy.

So easy, that there is NO EXCUSE for not being able to give your girl a foreplay orgasm! But first, REMEMBER:

While you’re going to give her this orgasm during foreplay, it’s important that you continue to think of foreplay as PART of the sex, because to your girl, it is! Women love foreplay and you can keep it going until she is DESPERATE for you to be inside of her. Women LOVE this!

Here are a few ways to keep foreplay going:

  • Kiss her for 10-15 minutes before taking off clothes (hers or yours)
  • Rub her over her “area” for 5 FULL minutes and refuse to take her panties or clothes off no matter how much she or you wants it – tell her how much she wants you AND how much you want her
  • If you start the technique I’m about to share with you AFTER you do all this stuff then you are almost GUARANTEED to give her a foreplay orgasm!

Giving A Clitoral Orgasm

The easiest way to give her a foreplay orgasm is by stimulating her clitoris. Here’s one way to do it that I know your girl will like:

  1. When massaging it, use one finger in circular strokes directly on it, but to the upper right. Think of it like the 1:30 position on a clock. For reasons I can’t explain, this particular area of a woman’s clitoris is packed with even MORE nerve endings than the rest!
  2. Make sure she is wet, or add lube (you can also lick your finger).
  3. It’s important that you keep a steady pressure the whole time, but not too hard! We girls are much more sensitive than you are, so start off light, and don’t go harder until she starts pressing herself against you.
  4. Once she starts lifting her hips towards you, go just a little bit faster – and tell her softly and gently, “Come for me baby and totally relax.” This reassures her that it’s “okay” to let herself go, and often you reassuring her is exactly what she needs to go from feeling really good to going OVER THE TOP and having an incredible orgasm!

Discover How To Give Her More Advanced Orgasms

Giving a woman a foreplay orgasm is always a good time, but if you REALLY want to take her pleasure to a level that no man ever has before, you’re gonna have to give her the more ADVANCED types of orgasms that make her whole body pulsate with pleasure! The type of orgasms that leave her lying there wondering what just happened – and instantly have her calling you the BEST she’s ever had!

6 Interesting Role Play Sex Games That You Haven’t Done

By

Role play and sex games can be so much fun, but many of them have been played out. Doctor and patient, French maid and even dirty cop have been done over and over again and honestly, where’s the excitement in that? Here are seven role play sex games you probably have never tried! These will not only surprise your man, but give him something to fantasize about for weeks!

1. Photographer & Model

This is a fun one that you don’t really need any costumes, lingerie or props for, unless you want them. All you need is a camera and whether it’s on your phone, a fancy digital camera or a crappy webcam, you can still have tons of fun with this role play game. Take turns switching between the photographer and model roles, so each of you gets to take pictures of the other. Come up with sexy poses, or take close ups of your lover’s most intimate areas.

Have a blast looking over the photos afterwards – you can even run them through a free online photo editor if you don’t have one installed on your computer to make them look even better. Delete them or keep them, it doesn’t matter. Bonus points if you have a timer and a tripod and can do photos of you and your partner together. 

2. New Age Artist

Get some body paints (edible or not, depending on what you’d like to do with them) and pretend you’re a new age artist whose canvas is your lover’s naked body. Don’t be afraid to get really into your role play and create a real work of art. If you’re actually really artistic, all the better! You can even take photos of your work and bring a bit of the photographer/model sex game into this if you like. If your body paints are edible, have fun licking them off! Don’t forget to let your partner paint you as well.

3. Mermaid Fantasy

Any guy who has ever seen Daryl Hannah in the 1980’s movie Splash has a mermaid fantasy – guaranteed. Play up on this by either renting or buying a mermaid costume. Curl your hair with loose waves (or crimp it like Daryl Hannah’s – hey, it was the 80’s, remember?) and throw some beads or seashells in there if you can. Body glitter is also great for this too – use your imagination to create a really ethereal mermaid look.

This is also an excellent bathtub sex game, but if you’ve done a lot of work on your hair and makeup, you’ll probably want to engage in a fair amount of foreplay and fun before you get soaking wet.

4. Vampire & Prey

No, this is not the kind of sex game where you beg your partner to don orange-gold contacts, body glitter and suck on ice before he kisses you. Although if your partner is into that, go for it. A real vampire/prey role play borders a little bit on the BDSM side, and can easily become an excellent game of domination if you’re into that kind of thing.

Dress the part with black clothes and smoky dark makeup. A really pouty mouth with fire engine red lipstick will complete the look if you can pull it off. Or, if your partner would rather be dominant, let him get his Bram Stoker on and you play the helpless victim. However, if you plan on doing any real biting or bloodletting, make sure you observe some safety precautions first.

5. Storybook Characters

Many guys have a bit of a fetish for storybook characters like little red riding hood or many of the Disney Princesses. Seriously though, who didn’t think that Princess Jasmine was totally hot in Aladdin – especially in her slave-to-Jafar outfit? The Princess Leia slave outfit is also a HUGE fantasy among many guys. Let the princess inside you out and dress up in your man’s favorite character. Don’t be afraid to lay it on thick either!

Military/Drill Sergeant

Again, this is an excellent role play when you want to incorporate some submission and domination. You can often find old military clothes at surplus outlets or warehouses, and they’re often pretty inexpensive. Have fun ordering your man to do push ups for you, or other naughty things like perform oral sex on you. If you like to be the submissive one, let your partner have fun ordering you around! Bonus points if you can “roll around in the grass” and get a little dirty too.

The Top 7 SEXIEST Valentine’s Day Ideas Ever!

By

Valentine’s Day is all about romance, but you should inject a healthy dose of sex in there too for a great night. While she’ll love the romance, you’ll both dig the sex, so here are the very best unique and SEXY Valentine’s Day suggestions!

1. Paint Her Body

Your woman wants you to spend some time on her this Valentine’s Day. What better way to do that than to lick and kiss all over her body, from head to toe? You can do this on your own, or you can gift your partner a delicious tub of edible body paint (or just use regular chocolate sauce) and tell her you’re going to enjoy her all night.

Draw hearts and words on her body and lick off the paint slowly, letting her savor every sensation! Just remember not to put anything with sugar on her genitals – this will give her an uncomfortable yeast infection later! That is not a Valentine’s Day gift you want to leave your lover with!

2. Steamy Sex Games

Why not break out a sexy board game for Valentine’s Day? Go with something tame like Battle Of The Sexes if you want to get competitive but not naked, or play something fun like strip poker if you don’t have anything around but cards.

If you’ve planned for it, you have some time to get a sex game that you can give as a gift. Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games is an inventive card game, while there are many sexy board games that will get you and your lover exploring brand new things. Even something as simple as dirty dice can be hotter on Valentine’s Day!

3. The Honey Game

This is an excellent foreplay sex game if you and your partner want to have some fun this Valentine’s Day but can’t or don’t want to spend a lot of money. Simply take a dab of honey, smear it in a small area on your body, blindfold your partner and let them try to find the dab of honey with their mouth!

This is incredibly sensual, because you’ll get to feel your lover’s hot mouth all over your body! They’ll really enjoy it as well, because you’re going to give them something super special (and sexy) when they find the prize.

4. A Striptease

Ladies, don’t underestimate the value of a striptease for your lover on Valentine’s Day. The idea itself may seem played out, but unless you give your man a striptease every single day of his life (which we’re willing to bet that you don’t) then it’s an incredible gift and you should definitely do it!

Guys love to look at women. They love to look at naked women (or women in lingerie) even more. They like to look at naked women dancing the most! Surprise your partner with a well put together striptease (because a crappy one that shows you haven’t practiced or put any effort into it at all is just insulting) and he’ll really enjoy it! Plus, it’s free!

5. Really Good Wine And A Babysitter

Again, this is one of those things that seem played out, or the go-to if you can’t think of anything better. However, this is honestly one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts out there! You really don’t want to underestimate how great really good wine (and a babysitter if you have little ones) is for Valentine’s Day!

Life is hectic, especially with jobs, kids, grocery shopping, paying bills and other day to day stuff that seems to suck the life out of you and your partner. So plan a quiet evening at home and enjoy some really, really good wine. Go ahead, splurge on your favorite. Relax. You’ll enjoy this Valentine’s Day gift as much as your partner, because once she’s relaxed and the kids aren’t in the house, it’s game on. 

6. A Fantasy Box

Explore your sexual fantasies in a non-threatening way this Valentine’s Day with a simple fantasy box. Decorate an empty tissue box with all kinds of Valentine’s Day themed paper, glitter and cutouts and proceed to write your sexiest fantasies on paper and drop them in the box.

Have your lover do the same! After dinner when you’re getting started with foreplay, take turns pulling out the slips and acting out what is written down. You’ll probably get a few surprises this way, and you’ll definitely be having fun.

7. A Hot Video

Ladies, buckle down and make an amateur porn for your lover. If you can’t manage that, at least give him some sexy photos to look at. Yes, your man looks at naked women. Yes, he’d rather be looking at you naked, but he certainly can’t do that if you don’t give him any material to look at! Give him the gift of you for Valentine’s Day!

4 Sex Positions That Are Perfect For Valentine’s Day!

By

Valentine’s Day should involve great sex – and many guys think that involves trying all kinds of new things. But should you use new, crazy weird sex positions to rev things up? No! Not at all! In all seriousness, feeling like a pretzel on Valentine’s Day is more likely to turn your girl off than to catapult her to orgasm. Instead, use these four tried but true sex positions (with an interesting twist!)

1. The Lotus Position

Even though this is considered to be a pretty basic sex position by most seasoned sex gurus, many couples haven’t tried it. If you and your partner haven’t, consider yourself all set for Valentine’s Day! You’ll get to try a “new” sex position with your girl, but it’s one that won’t leave her feeling cheap and used.

If you have used it before, that’s okay. It’s still great for Valentine’s Day because it involves lots of cuddling and face to face intimacy. Yep – Valentine’s Day is all about the romance. That doesn’t mean it stops as soon as the sex starts. Your job is to carry it over and make getting it on with your lover as romantic as the rest of your gifts.

2. Reverse Cowgirl

Okay, you’ve done the lotus, you’ve had lots of cuddle time and have romanced your girl until you’re blue in the face. You’re both ready for some action! Throw caution to the wind and put your lover in the reverse cowgirl position. This is an excellent sex position to use because not only do you get an incredible show, she gets friction on her clitoris from your scrotum, bringing her closer to orgasm than with other sex positions.

Why This Will Work On Valentine’s Day

She knows she’s going to be having sex on the 14th. She’s had it in her mind for weeks. She’s likely bought special panties or a lingerie set already. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that she’s gone “au natural” on the big day. You can bet your bottom dollar that she’s clean, trimmed and prepped so as to be “ready” for anything on Valentine’s Day. Use this to your advantage.

Reverse cowgirl is one of the sex positions that women will engage in only if they’re comfortable enough with their bodies and only if they’re super clean and trimmed or shaved down there. A woman is not going to put herself on display for you like that unless she’s totally confident that she looks good.

3. Spooning

Again, while this is a widely used sex position, it is an excellent choice for February 14th because it involves lots of romance and intimacy. You can kiss and caress your partner’s ears, neck and shoulders while you slowly penetrate her from behind, while running your hands all over her breasts, hips and finally resting on her clitoris.

Not only will this sex position make her feel super loved and cherished (which is a total turn on for women), you can also help her reach orgasm faster by fingering her clitoris – just make sure you use lube!

4. Yep…Missionary!

Believe it or not, missionary is probably still one of the best Valentine’s Day sex positions out there. Yes, it’s completely played out. It’s been done and done again, and it’s become the running joke of sex positions couples who have really boring sex lives use. But that’s definitely become the stereotype of the missionary position – that doesn’t mean it actually is boring.

The truth about the missionary position is that it is what you make it. If you think it’s going to be boring, it’s going to be boring. If you instead allow yourself to live “in the moment” and savor each and every sensation you experience – from the sights to the smells to the tastes – then you’re going to have fantastic sex, and it won’t even matter what position you use!

Make missionary sex incredible this Valentine’s Day by making it sweet and romantic. Engage in lots of foreplay first. Give her oral sex so good, she’ll think you’re in love with going down on her and aren’t ever going to stop. By the time you get to actually doing it in the missionary position, she should have had at least one orgasm, if not more. Then, penetrate her slowly and let her excitement build again. Have sex life a masterful, skillful lover and she won’t even care that you used the missionary position! In fact, she’ll be glad she didn’t have to re-enact yoga positions while naked on Valentine’s Day!

Sex Tips: The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make In Bed

By

Sex tips will guide you in the right direction, but you also want to make sure you’re not actively ruining your own sex life as well. Are you ruining your sex life? Even the best lovers are often guilty of flubbing up in the bedroom, often WITHOUT ever knowing it.

It’s just a fact of life.

But that doesn’t mean that YOU have to be! Discover the most common issues men have in the bedroom – and what to do INSTEAD to drive your woman WILD with pleasure. Avoid these 10 sex life ruiners and you’ll have better sex the very NEXT time you make love, guaranteed!

Thinking She is Climaxing When She Isn’t

You may think that your lover is having “multiples” (or even ONE you-know-what) when she is not. She may make a bunch of noises and even TELL YOU it’s happening. But is she really?

Grab a Cosmopolitan sometime and look at how many articles and comments on “faking it.” I’m not saying that YOUR GIRL is faking it EVERY TIME but chances are there have been a few episodes of lovemaking where she was CRAVING something other than what you were doing.

When this happens women just want it to be over and encourage you to finish. It doesn’t mean you are awful in the bedroom; just that being a mind-blowing lover EVERY TIME takes some specialized knowledge.

If you are giving your girl the “Big O” (and absolutely 100% sure of it) then congratulations! You’re one of the few guys who is ACTUALLY pleasing a woman REALLY WELL. But if you’re not, it is crucial that you learn how!

Not Giving Her A Variety Of Sexual Experiences

A lot of guys who are new to lovemaking – or are used to doing it with the same woman – tend to forget that women want different KINDS of sensual EXPERIENCES. You might think that changing sex positions a few times and varying the speed of your thrusting IS a mixing it up. But it is not.

Women thrive on emotions. Sometimes they want to be taken, sometimes they want it hard, and sometimes they want to make love. If you are NOT talking during lovemaking and creating a strong emotional experience for her, she CAN’T be totally fulfilled. Women want and NEED strong emotional experiences in the bedroom.

Let’s look at an example. Women love bad boys because of the emotions that a bad boy inspires in them. This is why that when a women cheats, it is often with a “bad boy.”

However, you don’t need to be bad boy to create bad boy emotions within her in the bedroom. Just be a bad boy yourself by giving her a light spanking, talking dirty, and giving it to her good! Women also love very suave, romantic types. Think of the cheesy paperback romance novels they read with Fabio on the cover. This is not a myth – women REALLY read this stuff!

Now, I’m not saying you should grow long hair, huge man boobs, and start riding a horse, but what you can do is mix up your lovemaking with some romantic sessions in which you are telling your girl how beautiful she is to you and how much you love her.

Get it?

You NEED to give your lover a variety of sexual experiences – and YOU are capable of giving her each kind – but you have to mix it up!

Forgetting To Be A MAN

Ask any 100 women off of the street and 99 of them will tell you that they want a man that TAKES CONTROL. That’s right, we want YOU to call the shots! As long as you are respectful, your girl DOES want you to take control in the bedroom, to flip her around and switch positions without asking, and to do what YOU want!

Women are programmed to respond to strong, authoritative, confident men. It signifies that you are a protector, a leader, and a suitable mate. Sure, it’s okay to ask her if she is enjoying something, but keep it simple. Save the talk about actual positions she liked for AFTER you are done.

Now don’t get me wrong – you are not making her a slave here, but rather leading with authority and masculine strength.

Once you start doing this you will be able to do many things with her in the bedroom that she earlier would not do. Many guys often think a woman is just uptight if she doesn’t want to do something, when in reality she just needs you to be a man and guide her with strength and confidence. You’ll be amazed at just how powerfully she responds!

Thinking Sex Isn’t That Important To Her

If you want to know how much women LOVE sex,  just think about how loudly we scream during lovemaking! You won’t ever hear a guy screaming like that! You might THINK that your drive is much higher than your woman’s because YOU are usually the one initiating sex with her. But as hard as it is to accept, recognize that if your girl doesn’t want to make love, it is NOT always because she doesn’t want to.

Unfortunately, it’s probably because you just aren’t getting her off. Fortunately this can be an easy fix.

Being Silent/Emotionless During Sex

You may think that it is “cheesy” or “creepy” to talk romantically during sex. (you may think its weird to talk at all in the bedroom) However, women HATE silent, mechanical lovemaking.

Why?

I’ll say it again: We women THRIVE on emotion. Dirty talk or romantic talk are EXCELLENT ways to give your girl STRONG EMOTIONS during sex. And strong emotions = strong orgasms. Never think that it is solely your physical parts or motions you are making that give your girl the most pleasure. The most POWERFUL “BIG O” will always be triggered by our MINDS, not by our physical bodies.

Unlock her mind through dirty talk, romantic talk, and emotional talk WHILE having making love, and she will experience the most intense pleasure of her life!

Trading Dinners/Flowers/Etc. To Get Sex From Her

Many men mistakenly think that we women aren’t interested in making love (we already discussed how this is incorrect thinking), and that they have to “trade something” with her to get her to want intimacy. This is why you see so many guys trying to “get there” with their girl by first taking her out to a nice dinner or buying her gifts.

While doing nice things for your girl is awesome, it should NEVER be with the intention of GETTING SOME. When you have to trade something to get intimacy from your girl, realize that this is PROOF you are just not truly satisfying her in the bedroom.

When you are intimately satisfying your girl you will not have to trade ANYTHING for it, but she will often spontaneously text you sexy messages, buy YOU a small gift, or begin initiating lovemaking constantly. Just wait and see!

Not Giving Her Enough “Foreplay”

If you still think of “foreplay” as the activity before lovemaking, well then you are thinking of it WRONG! Here’s a hint: Women consider foreplay as PART of the lovemaking. NOT as a separate thing!

Here’s why:

While a man is not always capable of having a “Big O” during foreplay AND then another “Big O” during the actual lovemaking, WOMEN CAN! Imagine if YOU could have one during foreplay AND not lose any firmness and keep having them well into lovemaking. You’d want to spend A LOT of time in foreplay too, right?

Well, your girl CAN have foreplay “O’s” AND penetration “O’s” so she DOES want to spend a lot of time in foreplay. As she should!

As a rule of thumb, spend at least the same amount of time on foreplay as lovemaking and you can always spend EVEN MORE time in foreplay. You can never get her too turned on and it will only make the lovemaking better when you are finally inside of her.

Not Lasting Long Enough

This mistake is well known and very simple, but no list of problems in the bedroom would be complete without it. But while all guys know they need to last long, they don’t necessarily know HOW LONG that is!

Well, after talking to dozens of my girlfriends about the subject, I’ve discovered that we all think pretty much alike. If you can last at least 20 minutes, most women will be SUPER happy with that!

Mistaking Her Moody-ness For NORMAL Behavior

It’s no secret that we women can be a LOT moodier than you men.  But if you’re in a relationship with a woman and she seems to keep getting more and more moody over time, this is often because she isn’t getting what she needs in the bedroom. FACT.

As we talked about before, while women aren’t usually as sexually aggressive as men, we do love and NEED to make love just as much! But here’s the thing – if you’re not giving her the “Big O” – then lovemaking does her no good!

Can you imagine if when you were masturbating you could NEVER “get there”? You’d begin to enjoy it less and less each time. Eventually you’d get so frustrated by the inability to “finish” that it would just be easier to avoid it COMPLETELY! So if you can’t give her the “Big O” why WOULD she want to make love with you?

The answer:

She won’t.

If your girl is not wanting to make love with you as much as you want then this is EXACTLY what has happened for her. In the beginning, she may have tolerated it because she was really into you. Now that you have been together for a long time and lovemaking isn’t satisfying for her, it is more fulfilling for her to take care of HERSELF when you’re not around. This leads to only being with you on special occasions, or when she feels obligated (like if a guy bought her a fancy dinner or some sort of gift.)

If you recognize any of these signs, it’s time to step up your game NOW before the drought gets even worse.

And when you do, you’ll discover that when you are completely rocking her world in the bedroom, not only is she in a better mood on a day-to-day basis, but SHE’LL start initiating making love with YOU! If you are giving her the best of her life, she won’t care if you are homeless and living in a cardboard box – as long as you can make love in it!

If your girlfriend or wife is often starting arguments, not wanting intimacy, or acting “distant” in some way, it’s time to stop blaming her. Re-examine your ability because the real culprit is inadequate lovemaking pleasure.

Not Getting Help

Top performers in any aspect of life realize that MASTERY is a journey, not a destination. Top athletes don’t all-of-a-sudden stop practicing. CEO’s don’t suddenly neglect their businesses and expect it to keep growing. And guess what lovemaking is no different.

To be an amazing lover you can’t ever be blinded by arrogance. Never think that you know EVERYTHING. You may know A LOT but there are ALWAYS new sex tips or tricks to get you to the next level.