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How To Establish A Connection With A Stripper

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A stripper is the ultimate goal of any true Mack. When you are trying to gain the affection of a stripper, it is essential to establish a connection early on. Here is a short tutorial on how you can instantly separate yourself from the other guys in the club with little effort.

Make Eye Contact With Here First

Make eye contact with her before she starts to come over to your table. Give her a smile and a nod. As soon as she sees this she will start to come over to you. If she’s dancing onstage when you notice her, you can make eye contact and give her a subtle hand wave to indicate you want her to come join you when she gets offstage. Normally, dancers will alternate between sitting with customers and dancing onstage for a few songs.

Offer Her A Seat At Your Table

When she comes over to you, offer her a seat at your table. Do this before she tries to sit down on your lap. It’s always important for you to separate yourself, in her mind, from the endless parade of regular customers she encounters at the club. The other guys love the opportunity to get her on their laps, and start putting their hands on her.

A suave guy gives the impression that he already gets all the attention he can handle from females; he certainly doesn’t need to visit a strip club in order to get his hands on a woman. He knows that when he starts flirting with a woman she will be his.

Control The Conversational Flow

From this point, your goal is to control the flow of the conversation. Just as you’re not going to allow her to go into her routine, and start asking you questions, you’re not going to follow the typical customer routine and ask her stupid questions.

Listen to the average customer trying to “converse” with a stripper, and you’ll probably hear him ask her questions like these:

•    “So how long have you danced here?”

•    “Do you enjoy working here?”

•    “What’s it like working here?”

•    “Do your family/friends know you work here?”

She Won’t Date A Customer

Skip this pointless small talk and start talking about things that are completely unrelated to her work. This is a powerful way to frame yourself as an original, confident guy, rather than as a customer.

Remember, dancers don’t bang “customers.”

They all have a hang-up about this: dating a customer, in their eyes of their co-workers and management, could be interpreted as prostitution (or just plain slutty behavior). You want her to view you as a cool, confident guy who does none of the things that customers do, and therefore she sees you as a romantic/sexual option. You want to be an alpha male who is going to get her attention quickly.

Go On A “Mini-Date”

Earlier, I mentioned how the best place to sit is near a speaker. This is because it  gives you a reason to tell her, “let’s move somewhere quieter, I want to be able to hear you.”

This shows you value what she has to say, and gives it the feel like a  “mini date:” you’re controlling the flow and taking her somewhere else to have this interaction, even if it’s just to the other side of the room.

If, when you get up to move locations, she suggests a trip to the VIP room (where the dances are way more expensive), use this joke: “No thanks, I’m too tired to dance for you tonight.” Then take her hand and lead her over to a more secluded seating area.

Take Action And Make It Happen

Macks are leaders with confidence. Macks take control of the flow and the tempo all conversations. One way to establish this early on is to take her by the hand, and bring her over to a quieter location.

As a Mack, you’ll take an “under the radar” approach that never shows your interest in her. You give her the impression that you’re a guy with high standards who is difficult to impress, but you think she might be a pretty cool chick, so you’re willing to talk to her and get to know her.

How To Flirt With A Stripper

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A stripper isn’t your typical girl, so using conventional flirting techniques aren’t going to work very well at all. Here’s what to do.

Engage In Flirting By Connecting With Her

Your goal is to use strategic conversation to connect with her on a real level.

You want to avoid buying a striptease from her, because then you’re behaving like a typical customer. (I’m not saying you should never buy dances – you can have some fun doing so, and spin it your advantage. I’ll explain how shortly. But the rule of thumb is, avoid buying dances.)

You do want to keep the flirting momentum moving forwards, towards the “close.” Since you won’t be paying for dances, you can’t expect her to hang out with you all night. Figure that if you buy her a drink or two, you’ve got around 30 minutes to make it happen—which means either getting her number (and laying the groundwork so that she will answer or return your phone calls), or arranging to meet her after her shift.

You don’t want to monopolize her time for too long. Respect the fact that she’s here to make money. And you want to be the one who ends the conversation and excuses yourself. You don’t want her to say she has to go.

Areas To Touch On During While You’re Flirting With A Stripper

Your goal is to give them a break from all of that. Be the guy who injects fun into their evening.

Talk to her about ambitions and goals. Strippers never want to think of themselves as strippers. They usually have all sorts of goals and things they want to pursue. Some are actually working towards their goals.

Let her know you’re not dazzled by beauty. This is an excellent topic to slip into the conversation, because it minimizes her concern that you’re like all the other guys and are only interested in her looks. Also, by establishing that you’re not impressed by beauty, it makes her want to step up her game and show you that she’s an interesting, three-dimensional person.

Let her know that you’re not judgmental. While hot strippers may appear to be supremely confident, they’ve all got insecurities. At the bigger clubs, I’ve never met a stripper who believed she was the hottest girl working there. They always think there are other girls who are younger, prettier, have better bodies, etc. You can play on this, but the main insecurity that all strippers have is that guys are judging them negatively because of what they do for a living.

Let her know you don’t kiss and tell. Why is this important? Because if she’s going to see you outside of the club, she needs to feel comfortable that it’s not going to come back to haunt her. She’ll get in trouble, and lose face with her co-workers, if it gets out that she’s sleeping with a guy she met at work.

Strippers are also naturally concerned about stalkers. She has to know that if she goes on a date with you, you’re not the type of guy who is going to show up at the club tomorrow night and act like some jealous freak if she’s hanging out with other customers.

How To Stay Focused When Talking To Women

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Even the best dating advice sometimes leaves out how important awareness is when you’re talking to women. If you’re not concentrating in the right place, your conversations with women will go nowhere. Every guy is afraid of clamming up when he’s talking to a woman, and that only happens when a man loses his concentration during a conversation.

In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

  • If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
  • If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
  • If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

  • If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
  • If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
  • If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

Flirting: Your Guide For Learning How To Flirt

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Flirting isn’t always obvious – in fact, it can often be completely inconspicuous. There you are, in line at the grocery store when a very attractive person brushes up against you accidentally – or so you think.

How can you be sure? You can’t right away, so you look again and try and make eye contact this time. First, to see if what you thought you saw was an attractive person, and then next (if you still think so), to see if the brush might have been deliberate.

But how can you tell with a look? Maybe they were off-balance, or the person behind them bumped into them, or maybe they are nearsighted and left their glasses in the car. Before you make another move, I know you realize a lot is at stake here; what you do (or don’t do) in the next 30 seconds could change your life…forever.

The Flirting Basics (Quiz)

Take this quiz and see what you know about flirting – answer true or false! Then add up your answers below:

  1. When someone goes out of their way to talk to me, they are flirting.
  2. When someone makes prolonged eye contact (more than three seconds), they want my attention.
  3. When a woman is flirting, it’s obvious.
  4. When a man is overtly flirting, he generally has only sex on his mind.
  5. There’s a difference between being flirtatious and flirting.
  6. There are right ways and wrong ways to flirt.
  7. Saying inappropriate things in the name of flirting is acceptable.
  8. Flirting when you’re in a committed relationship is fine as long as you don’t act on it.

Tips On How To Engage In Healthy, Fun Flirting

So first things first, and at the top of the list when it comes to having healthy, fun flirting you need to ask yourself: What are your intentions? That’s right, what do you want?

If you want a real relationship for example, and you do find yourself in close proximity of someone you find attractive, naturally one of the first things you’ll do is scan that person for signs that they are available – a wedding ring or in this scenario, baby formula in the basket, wife or children in tow, etc. – before you make a move.

Flirting Safely

The next step, once you’re clear that you are in fact looking for that special someone is to think about being safe. You really can’t be too careful these days. So when you find you are attracted to someone, make sure you pay close attention to your body cues and all the signs that make you feel secure and safe, especially if you are the one being approached.

Whether you are at a grocery store/bar/gym/party, take time to check in to those cues that register beneath the surface of whatever seems so compelling; his or her awesome butt or radiant aura. Everybody gives off a vibe; make sure you check theirs out good!

Getting Down To Business

And the third step, the fun part, the actual flirting – there is nothing to worry about here at all. Sure you say, easy for you to say. Nawww, it’s in your blood. It’s in everyone’s. It’s built right into your nature, meaning it’s practically foolproof, ‘cause half the time you’re sending signals without even realizing.

It’s about paying attention and practicing; a little brushing up never hurt anyone (since most of us freeze up when this unconscious behavior suddenly becomes conscious). That reflexive look, that urge to see who was brushing up against you and why, IS flirting at its very base!

In the grocery store, it could be as simple as another attempt at making eye contact, holding your gaze for three or more seconds and smiling. Really, that’s it. The rest is as easy as finding something sincere and authentic in the moment to say, and you’re halfway there.

Don’t be afraid to get out there and practice connecting, just keep these three basics in your tool belt: what’s your intention (what do you want), be safe, and know that flirting is natural and part of your instinctive makeup!

Flirting With Text Messages – 3 Texts A 3rd Grader Could Have Written

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You’ve been flirting with her through text messages, but with no response. Ever wonder why a woman didn’t text you back?

It’s not because your text message wasn’t “good enough.” Because texting shouldn’t be tough to do. In fact, your average third grader could write expert text messages. (As long as you arm him with some top notch psychology)

With that in mind, let’s take a look at three of my favorite text messages. They’re my favorites because they work. And they work on every woman. In this article, you’ll discover which texts they are, exactly when to send them, and how they use modern psychology to make getting sex easier.

“I just saw ur twin…”

That’s an easy enough text, right? It’s like you walk down the street and see a stranger who reminds you of your girl. So, you send her this text message. It may surprise you to discover this is one of the most powerful texts in the world (if you want her to text you back)

Let’s check it out in more detail:

Why it works:

Ever hear someone say, “No one cares about you as much as you do?” Whether you have or you haven’t, you understand the sentiment: Most people consider themselves important. They’re worried about making mistakes, being embarrassed and what other people think about them.

That gorgeous woman you know thinks exactly the same way. In fact, psychologists call this phenomenon the “ego.” A well known psychologist called the ego, “The most powerful motivating force in human nature.” Which means triggering it in a text message is a very good thing, for you.

“I just saw your twin” works on a few levels. It also brings up feelings of insecurity (“Was she pretty?”) and the promise of a good story (it makes her think, “What happened?”).

When you’d use it:

You can use this text message almost whenever. Even out of the blue. The rule of thumb is: You want to use this text when you’re starting a “new” conversation. For example, you haven’t texted each other for a few days… or maybe things “cooled off” for awhile.

It’s a great text message if she’s been ignoring your texts for awhile, too. I’ll explain why in just a second, after we check out this next text.

“Something just reminded me of u…”

This text also uses “ego” psychology. However, this text is special. Because it focuses on drama and the hint of a good story. And it also teases her with a compliment.

Why it works:

She’s HOPING you were reminded of how pretty she is or you were reminded of something funny she said. However, she’s afraid you’ll remember an embarrassing part of her. For example, maybe she forgot to leave a tip on your date, and you noticed someone being super cheap.

(Everyone has their insecurities.)

When you’d use it:

Any time you’d use “I just saw ur twin.” Which reminds me: These texts are great even when she ignores one or two of your texts in a row. It’s all because these texts are stories in themselves. Complete texts that INVITE her to text you back but don’t require her to.

So you keep your power in the relationship, even when you text her twice in a row. It’s a neat trick – and I suggest you use it more often.

“OMG u didn’t…”

This one plays on her ego and it also brings in a level of guilt: Have you ever done something wrong, but not gotten “caught?” The feeling of guilt stays with you for days – maybe even weeks. And you feel like everyone knows what you did. The good news is: You’re not alone.

Why it works:

Everyone has that feeling one time or another. In fact, most people carry around “guilt” feelings every single day. Especially women! (Ever wonder why your mother constantly gave you guilt trips?)

When you’d use it:

This text works especially well after a first date. Because, here’s a shocker, EVERYONE makes mistakes on a first date! She leaves your first date wondering if she did “OK,” just like you leave your first date, wondering the same thing.

(She wouldn’t be on a date with you if she didn’t like you a lot…)

So toss this text in after a first date, or even after the first time you meet. She’ll text you back, I promise 🙂

So there you have it…

As you can clearly see, a “great” text message is so easy, a third grader could write one. All you need is the right psychology. And now you’ve got the psychology down pat. So what now? How can you guarantee you’ll get a first date… a booty call… maybe even sex? How about a relationship, after the fact?

Well, just like these texts, dating can be VERY easy once you know the right psychology.