how to have sex

Q&A: Popping A Girl’s Cherry: Will It Bleed?

When it comes to losing your virginity or even taking someone else’s virginity, there are often more questions than there are answers. Many teens and young adults want to know how bad it hurts the first time, if you can catch STD’s if you’re both virgins or if you “pop” a girl’s cherry, how bad it will bleed, if at all. Here’s what you want to know about bleeding after the first time.

Question: My question concerns popping a girl’s cherry. I’m sure you guys have heard that when a girl has sex for the first time she will bleed from her vagina. Is this true or false, and if it is true is it like a period in the sense that it can be a heavy flow or a light flow, or is the bleeding minimal?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afKdVkeL4X4[/youtube]

Bleeding After The First Time

When a girl loses her virginity, it may be painful or uncomfortable, and she may even bleed a little that night and the next day. This is separate from a girl’s period, and is not normally as heavy as a period. When a girl bleeds after the first time, it’s usually a brighter red, while a menstrual flow tends to be a little darker. After losing her virginity, she may bleed a little or bleed off and on for about a day, but a lot of blood – such as enough blood to need to wear a tampon or heavy pad – may mean she needs to see a doctor.

What Causes It To Bleed?

Girls are built with a thin membrane of tissue just inside the vagina that covers part of the vaginal opening. Most of the time, a hymen does not completely cover the vaginal opening, rather, it is shaped more like a half moon, leaving the top of the vaginal opening uncovered to allow a woman’s menstrual flow to come through. However, some hymens can completely cover the vaginal opening, and some only leave a small hole. A septate hymen actually forms in the middle of the vagina, allowing for two openings on either side of the hymen. Uncommon types of hymens can make it difficult for a woman to insert or remove a tampon, and may even prevent her menstrual flow. When a woman loses her virginity, the hymen will break, sometimes causing pain or discomfort for the woman, and sometimes bleeding.

If She Doesn’t Bleed, Does That Mean She’s Not A Virgin?

Hymens can be broken through normal activities, such as sports, horseback riding and inserting and removing a tampon. If your partner doesn’t bleed even though it’s the first time she’s had sex, it does not mean that she’s had sex before and she’s not a virgin. It simply means that her hymen may have broken earlier in her life, or that her hymen just didn’t bleed much if at all when it was broken during sex. Losing your hymen doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your virginity either – you can only lose your virginity the first time you have sex, hymen or no hymen.

How To Use The REAL Distraction Principle To Boost Your Sexual Stamina

By edwardwhite

‘Premature ejaculation’ is a well known term. And every guy that’s heard of it has his own theory on the best way to deal with it. One of the most common is often referred to as the distraction technique.

What is the Distraction Technique?

It goes like this. While having sex, the guy who doesn’t want to come too soon thinks of mind-numbing concepts or completely non-sexual imagery. For example, he’ll count back from 1000 or picture a deer getting hit by a car. Whatever it is, he’ll make sure it is a complete turn-off.

He’ll do this in an attempt to take himself out of the moment and therefore distance himself from the sexual stimulation he is receiving all in an effort to extend his sexual performance. But you have to ask yourself: is having sex for a long time worth it if you’ve got to totally separate your mind from it?

Of course not! This distraction principle is a bad way to handle the problem of rapid ejaculation. Instead, you should use the REAL distraction principle, which goes like this.

The REAL Distraction Principle

Great sex isn’t just about penetration. Any man that thinks different is in for a nasty surprise. Mutually pleasurable, great sex is a combination of teasing, foreplay and penetration, amongst other things.

The point here is that sex should be varied. This is not only good from a pleasure point of view, but also from a premature ejaculation point of view. By periodically altering what you and your partner do to and with each other during sex, you can keep your stimulation levels under control and thereby delay your climax from happening until you want it to.

The reason this is called the real distraction technique is because you are effectively distracting you and your partner’s attention away from the fact that you aren’t having penetrative sex and onto the fact that you are doing something different yet equally pleasurable, like massaging each other, performing oral and manual stimulation, engaging in dirty talk, kissing and licking each other, etc.

What you should do is alternate between a minute or two of penetration (or however long you can currently last without your stimulation levels soaring too high) and some other, non-penetrative activity, like giving her head or kissing up and down her body.

Why Women Love It

As well as your partner loving the variation of your sexual encounter, you’ll also love the fact that your stimulation levels are always under control, because whenever they get too high, you can simply switch to doing something else for a minute or so. It’s a simple, but devastatingly effective technique.

In fact, most women who experience this kind of varied sexual experience prefer it over having sex with a guy who doesn’t have premature ejaculation but who can have penetrative sex for as long as he wants.

How Keeping A Journal Can Reveal If Your Lover Is Cheating

By jimwalthby

Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts. Far from it.

Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others.

For example, you might remember, for whatever reason, a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for.

For the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

When Selective Memory Is A Problem

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you.

The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you.

You might rationalize their behavior by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it.

You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity.

The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on, whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

Keep A Journal

Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behavior/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer.

Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

Be Objective

Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of.

For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.”

So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgmental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot. I’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

Keep Your Journal Hidden

Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future, thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult.

If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

Should You Stay In A Sexless Marriage?

By loveandsex

Many marriages go through tough, rocky times. Whether you’re emotionally distant with your partner or you’ve physically stopped being intimate, going through difficult times with your partner can be frustrating and hurtful.

If you and your partner have stopped having sex, whether you’re emotionally distant or not, should you stay in a sexless marriage for the sake of staying in the marriage?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UDndh8LucE[/youtube]

Staying Together For The Kids

Many married couples believe that it’s better to be unhappy in a marriage and stay together if they have children. They believe that raising their children in a traditional, nuclear family is the best way to go, whether they’re happy as a couple or not.

Many couples will simply grow apart but continue to stay married and live together for the sake of the children? Is this the best idea? Probably not. Married couples that are unhappy, fighting and emotionally divorced have just as much effect on children as physically divorced couples.

No matter what you decide to do, it’s going to have an effect on your children. In fact, it probably already has up to this point. Your biggest decision now is how to proceed. What will impact the children in the most positive way?

If you and your partner are constantly fighting or are so emotionally distant that it appears to your children that you can’t stand each other, there’s really no compelling reason to stay married. Your children will most likely be better off if you’re divorced, spending equal time with happier and more confident parents, even if you are apart.

Why Is The Marriage Sexless?

If you and your partner are in a sexless marriage, you might be thinking about trying to make it work. After all, it’s for better or worse, right?

If you and your partner have come to a decision to really try and figure out what is going on in your relationship, you’re taking a step in the right direction. You need to really figure out why the marriage is sexless.

Consider All The Options

Are you and your partner no longer physically compatible? Do you receive less pleasure from sex now than you did at another time?

If you and your partner believe this might be the case, consider seeing a sex therapist. A sex therapist can help you to look at your physical issues and find ways to use different tools to increase your sex drives and your pleasure in the bedroom.

A sexless marriage could also be attributed to emotional distance. If you and your partner don’t feel very close to each other emotionally, you’re definitely not going to feel the need to be close to each other physically. Spend more time together alone. Get a babysitter, or go out and do things you both love. Get back to where you were emotionally when you were first together, when you were really just enjoying each other’s company.

Get to know each other again! You might consider visiting a traditional therapist. They can help you and your partner to get back on track emotionally by stripping away the every day stuff that can get in the way of a marriage and help you to discover how you really feel about your partner. Once you and your partner begin moving closer together emotionally, your sex life will follow.

Discover How The Foods You Eat Affect Your Performance In Bed!

By edwardwhite

What you eat at the dinner table has a massive effect on how well you perform in the sack, and that’s a fact.

The length of your performance, the quality of your sexual technique and even the strength and reliability of your erections are all, to some degree or another, controlled by the foods you eat on a daily basis.

I know that’s a bold statement. But think of the relationship between your food and your sexual performance like the fuel used by your car.

Put the wrong type of gas in and, if you’re lucky, you’ll just about splutter a few feet, for a few seconds.

Eat the wrong foods and your sexual performance will be similarly impacted: you’ll conk out sooner and generally perform more poorly than if you were eating the best things, most of the time.

Okay, the question’s been posed: What can you eat to boost your sexual prowess? And how can the foods you consume improve your ability to put in, time and time again, a powerful and multi-orgasmic sexual performance for you and the woman you’re with?

First on the menu: Sexual Super-foods.

Sexual super-foods are the absolute best things you can eat to help you out in the bedroom, because they contain chemicals, fibers and vitamins that are all suited to boosting and improving your body in relation to love-making.

There are 7 different sexual super-foods, each containing a different selection of natural ingredients and therefore each targeting different areas of sexual skill. I’m going to tell you about one of them right now.

The blueberry is a sexual super-food often referred to as ‘nature’s little blue pill’ because of its remarkable similarities to the wonder drug ‘Viagra’. However, unlike ‘Viagra’, blueberries are cheap, readily available and able to be consumed in bulk!

The beauty of blueberries in regards to maximizing your sexual ability lies in what they contain. Firstly, they’re loaded with soluble fiber, which helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed and deposited in your arteries.

They’re also packed with compounds that help relax your blood vessels and improve circulation throughout your body. The benefit of lower cholesterol and improved blood flow is more blood to you penis during sex and firmer erections as you get older. To harness the powers of this sexual super-food, which include stronger, longer lasting erections, pop a handful of blueberries into a fruit smoothie a couple of times a week.

Next on the menu: General nutrition and Health

To most people, eating the right foods at the right times is a boring, fairly unfulfilling prospect. I mean, we all know of the overall health benefits of eating right, but we don’t generally care very much about sticking to strict diets, especially considering the time and effort usually involved in doing so.

But if most men knew about how much their sexual ability and performance would improve if they simply improved their diets a little and upped their exercise just slightly, they’d be amazed.

It breaks down like this. Eating healthily improves your cardio-vascular fitness (your stamina) and helps maintain high levels of energy; both vital components of any impressive, lengthy sexual performance.

A secondary product of eating well, which stems from your high levels of energy and endurance, is a positive mental attitude. In essence, feeling happy and stress-free. These kinds of feelings come about naturally when you eat well because your body is chemically balanced and has high stores of usable energy.

You don’t need to go crazy when it comes to improving your diet to notice a big improvement in your sexual ability. A great place to start is by always, always eating breakfast. But not just any breakfast.

Eating cereal that is high in thiamine and riboflavin (check the label) helps your body store energy efficiently, which will come in really handy when you get down and dirty later in the day! Also, eat breads and cereals with lots of niacin in them (again, check the nutritional fact labels). Niacin is a vitamin that’s essential for the secretion of histamine. Your body needs histamine in order to control and trigger explosive orgasms!

Lastly, always get that minimum of 5 portions of fruit and vegetables in a day. You’ll really notice the difference eating them makes, in and out of the bedroom.

Okay, so there you have it. A good general diet can be used as a base, which gives you the fundamental levels of energy, fiber and vitamins needed to perform well in bed.

Then, the 7 sexual super-foods can be eaten to naturally boost specific chemical levels in your body and thereby further improve your body’s sexual capabilities. You’ve learned about one of those 7 sexual super-foods already.

The bottom-line? Eat better, perform better!