kinky sex – Page 4

3 Ways To Get Her To Do Anything You Want

Kinky sex can be so much fun, but women aren’t always into what men like. Here are three easy ways you can get your lover interested in what you want!

So What’s Your Thing?

It’s this one fetish you’ve been dreaming of since teenhood. Ever since you realized your penis’ calling, you couldn’t wait for that day when you could finally share this unique sexual activity with someone. You’re certain it’s going to be great, and you’ve been playing it in your head over and over – for hours each night. That’s your THING.

Now, you’ve grown up, and the stage is set. You have your own place and a gorgeous adoring woman. You’ve waited for this all your life – it’s finally going to happen – but she says, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do that!”

These were the last words you heard before all your dreams came crashing down. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the quaint sound of your heart breaking into a million shiny pieces.

“But why? It’s gonna be fun,” you tempted.

“I don’t know, I just don’t wanna,” the prude answered.

You threatened legal action, physical repercussions, yes, even groveled, but still came out empty. For the life of you, you can’t convince your lover that it’s going to be okay. She just doesn’t see herself doing that thing with you – nope, not in this lifetime.

So, what’s left to do?

Before hanging the gloves in desperation, here are 3 practical things to do.

1. Find Out If Its Negotiable

Your thing could easily come in conflict with her self-image – she just doesn’t see herself that way. The fetish could be so beyond her boundaries as a sexual being, the moment she heard of it, it made her butt cheeks clinch ever so tightly.

Or, maybe it’s not her, maybe it’s you. Maybe you’ve just been watching too much porn and your erotic expectations are drastically skewed or out of sync. Perhaps what you’re suggesting is so out of this world, 99% of women will say “Nuh-uh,” while dragging you to the Psych Ward.

But granted, the thing, even though it conflicts with her self-image, is a reasonable activity for normal human beings, you need to ask one vital question: IS IT STILL NEGOTIABLE? (You have to give an honest answer to this.)

It may not be how she sees herself presently, but, is it negotiable? Can you possibly tempt her into it? Women have very flexible self-images. They think and say they can’t or won’t, initially allergic even to the very thought of kinky sex. This is usually just their default answer to novel stuff and things outside their comfort zones.

But given proper prodding, they’ll come around and turn out to be wonderful freaks in bed. It’s true, you can get a girl who is very anti anal sex to really love it! But you have to sense if the “NO” is negotiable, or if it’s something driven deep in her core values, solid and totally non-negotiable.

If it’s non-negotiable, then MOVE ON, GET OVER IT, don’t force the issue. She has every right to say “no.” Just because she’s in an intimate relationship with you doesn’t diminish that right a tiny bit.

But if you think there’s a sliver of possibility, then continue with #2. Answer this very important question –

2. What’s In It For Her?

Look at things from your lover’s point of view, what good will your “thing” bring her?

Of course, she can simply accommodate her man’s eccentric and kinky fantasies, but what good will it bring her personally? And don’t just say, “It’s gonna be fun!” You need more than that. Because if she just wants fun, she can turn to a million other things.

“What’s in it for her?” This is what sales savants constantly ask themselves. Only when you take the buyer’s perspective and slide your feet into her shoes, will you be able to understand how to sell it to a woman.

I don’t want to know whatever your thing is, it’s your thing. But basically, you are the seller, she is the unwitting shopper. Don’t sell by declaring, “Do this so I can check it off my list of things to do before I die.” That means nothing to her! If you want “Message Received” blinking in her head, you have to sell it from the opposite perspective.

By looking through her eyes, you can make your thing very inviting and alluring. Package it so she’s poised to gain something from the experience, not as if she’s merely accommodating another one of your whims. Make her engage in it for her own sake. Make it unique and serve it up as a challenge or something new both of you can try. Make sure to give her a climax when she engages in the activity with you. Only then can you finish off with the “It’s gonna be fun” icing.

And you know you’ve done well when she becomes more rabid about it than you.

Here’s the thing. On some level, your girl knows exactly what you’re doing. She knows you’re tempting her, so don’t treat her like some gullible 6-year old. Women are not naïve. They sense these things, so level with them.

And ultimately, leave the decision to her.

3. Know When To Stop

Groveling & begging is not and will never be an option!

Begging? Are you kidding me?! You’re the one with the goods here. Why would you resort to groveling just to be given a shot? To me, it doesn’t make an iota of sense. It’s like a billionaire pointing a gun to some homeless guy’s head, threatening to kill the poor soul if he doesn’t take off with his briefcase of cash.

I repeat, DO NOT GROVEL OR BEG FOR YOUR THING. Honestly, in the past, when has groveling helped your cause or resulted into an amazing time? The best you get out of it is pity & accommodation – which by the way, rapidly comes in short supply.

You can’t get everything through After talk, for one can never out-talk or out-argue a woman who has already made up her mind. Your case cannot be pleaded with wit or logic, unless you can fashion a paradigm shifting speech.

The more you push for your thing, the more she’ll push back – so the more passionate you are about it, the stronger her resistance becomes. This is a negative spiral that you never should get into.

Her saying “No” doesn’t mean the end of things. A verbal “No” in Aftertalk can be adjusted, modified, even reversed during the sex itself. I’m not saying that her words don’t hold water, I’m saying they can be massaged into something else.

The palatability of stuff becomes very different when a woman is in the heat of things. While talking, which usually involves the thinking brain, she can very easily say “NO.” But when she’s in the heat of the moment, enveloped with the orgasm rush, her emotional brain, which knows very few rules, takes over and gets with the flow.

(When talk doesn’t help, go work for your thing during the sex itself. Yes, you can smoothly introduce your woman to kinky stuff she initially said “no” to. So you can then tell her, “See, I told you it would be fun!”)

Should You Accept Your Lover’s Strange Fetish?

By dicksinthecity

Kinky sex is a great way to keep your relationship fresh and new. But should you accept your partner’s strange fetish or should you draw the line?

What She Said:

I think this might be more fantasy then fetish.

Whether its BDSM, high heels or having your eyeballs licked, everyone has a sexual trigger, a turn on, a mild or full-blown fetish. This day and age with so many easy access to porn online and “personal” massagers that you can pick up at the grocery store, it seems that everyone has an easy outlet for their turn on.

With so many odd fetishes it makes me wonder if regular vanilla sex is now the odd sex act. When you are in a sexual relationship, you want to do any thing and everything to please your partner. But, how do you handle them having this interest that you are not in to? Maybe your guy is into a 3 some with Asians. That idea is a turn off to you.

But before you worry about him jumping on a plane to Thailand, there are options. You could watch some Asian porn with him. Or why not dress up like a geisha. What if your man is into hardcore SM? And your idea of a hot night does not include you dressed in leather wielding a horse whip.

As a compromise, you could wear big black boots and spank him a little. Basically every fetish has its oddities. But in a relationship the best gift we can give our partner sexually is to offer them a safe place to share their fantasies with you. A safe place to experiment and a place where there is no judgment.

No matter how kinky you find it to be, if you are open and honest with him about his desires, he in turn will be open to yours. One night you smack him around a bit, and the next he might give it to you good ol missionary style.

What He Said

Be Proud Of Your Fetishes And Fantasies

I really think that thanks to the internet, vanilla sex is the new kinky sex. It’s like “Really? You just want to pound me missionary style? And a little oral sex? Well, you did buy me dinner and a movie. But that’s way too crazy for me! Can’t you just do something normal like punch me in the vagina repeatedly while humming the Star Spangled Banner and making tacos?”  No?

That’s never happened to you, well, if it hasn’t you’re just not doing it right. It’s your duty to please that booty, so you should at least try to do what your partner is into. Don’t want to? Well, I’ve got news for you sparky.

You might not want to try oral sex or anal sex, but I guarantee your partner doesn’t want to do half the things they do just so they can get in your pants. That’s what love is: doing things you’d rather take a cheese grater to the genitals than do just to get laid. I mean for the one you love.

I think a lot of people are irrationally afraid of coming out to their partners about their fetishes, or fantasies whatever they may be. It doesn’t matter how weird or depraved or sick your sexual fantasy is. Someone wants to do it with you.

If that’s what your into, then be out and proud about it. If your partner isn’t into it, and you can’t come to some kind of understanding on the subject, then that’s a deal breaker. Get rid of them. It may suck, but finding your type of sex is an important key to happiness. I think Buddha said that. Or Oprah. Same thing.

They say life is too short to be unhappy. That’s not true. Life is too long when you’re unhappy. It goes by slow. Like slower than being suck on a Stairmaster next to someone having a conversation on their cell phone while reading a book on their iPad all while “exercising.”

Life is only short if you’re having fun. It’s the times that people enjoy that go fast. The things that suck (and not in a fun way) go by very, very slowly, and will eat you from the inside and literally kill you with boredom, worry, stress and all other manners of boring shit.

That doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your current lover. Just talk to them and be honest about who and what you are and what you are into sexually. You’ll both be glad you did.

2 Ways To Get Your Girl To Want Anal Sex NOW!

By loveandsex

Anal sex is a very intimate act for women. They are allowing someone to enter the “forbidden zone” of their body, which is a huge deal. That’s why it requires a certain level of trust and a lot of communication. She is not going to agree to do it unless
she is one hundred per cent sure that it will be all right, that you know what you are doing and that she is not going to feel pain.

You have to play your cards right and don’t leave her any room for complaining. Simone de Beauvoir explained it better: “Sex pleasure in a woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken.”

If you want to get her to agree to it, you must start small, step by step, seducing both her mind and her body. Tease her to the extent that she can’t take it anymore and she’s the one begging you to do it.

1. Stimulate her mind

You’re probably wondering what goes on through that pretty head of hers while she’s looking at you, indecisive and troubled. Reading a woman’s body language can be tough, Steve Martin made quite the funny joke about it: “You know that look women have when they want sex? Me neither…”

However, there are a few things that you can do to break that cold “no” and that dead silence. You just have to be persistent, calm and methodical. First of all, fix the breach in communication. Talk to her about analingus, if it’s a blurry thing for her or if she doesn’t even heard of it beforehand. Explain your reasons for wanting it, share your deepest desires and fantasies and ask her to tell you what she thinks about it.

You can start by discussing the subject in general, maybe mentioning that a couple of your friends are doing it and it turned out to be a successful venture for them. Tell your girl details, read together articles about it, and then move to asking how she feels about you two giving it a try.

Don’t force an answer on the spot, if she’s not ready. Let your girlfriend meditate on the subject on her own, or with friends, for a couple of days, then demand an ultimatum. Then, talk to her about any fears. After extensive interviews with women all over the country, I have come to the conclusion that, besides the pain factor, most women are simply worried about the mess.

The idea that the whole act could become a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for them. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell good that they can’t accept the fact that you will consider them dirty.

Try and subtly bring that up, assuring your girl that there is no problem from your part and that you will never judge negatively when it comes to this aspect. Tell her that you could never consider her dirty, and that, in fact, dirty is not even the right word to use in this context, because anal sex is not dirty, but kinky.

2. Stimulate Her Body

The most common mistake that men do when they decide to try anal sex with their girlfriends is that they proceed without proper preparations. My secret? Extended foreplay! I have developed a three day routine that is meant to “desensitize” a woman’s derriere and help experience anal sex as she should: an act of pure pleasure. Here’s what you have to do:

Day 1

Start with a sexy shower together. Kiss, stroke and massage her body with all the nicely scented lotions she has in the bathroom. Take time to truly connect through the power of tactile orgasm. When you hear your girl moan with pleasure, reach on the buttocks and massage, stroke and knead the muscles until they relax.

Gradually move your fingers to the space between the cheeks and allow your fingers to slightly pass over the anus, without inserting anything! Give a deep kiss and let your girl finish the bath alone.

Day 2

Surprise your girl with a good dose of oral sex. As she becomes more aroused, apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to your index finger and begin to gently massage her anus.

Start with long, slow strokes, and as your tongue is caressing her clitoris, move your finger in circles around the opening of the anus. After a couple of minutes of anal massage, begin to gently push your finger against the opening of her anus with steady pressure.

Day 3

Now that she’s ready and eager for more, it’s time to start slowly inserting your well-lubed finger. After warming her up with the steps described above, insert an inch or two of your index into her anus. While she breathes deeply, start to move your finger around in small circles.

If she’s not objecting, you can start moving your finger in and out, simulating intercourse. Re-apply lube every time it’s necessary. I usually advise couples to stop here, but if she’s eager for some penis action (or a sex toy, maybe!), you know what to do!

Once you’ve completed both courses of stimulation, mental and physical, there’s no reason for her to object anymore. If she’s open minded and curious about the multi-faceted aspect of her own sexuality, she’ll have no reason to no want to try it. After all, as I have told you before, women want it just as badly as men.

4 Ways To Get Started With Bondage TONIGHT!

By kendallashley

Bondage is often associated with black leather and a guy with a zipper mask. The fact of the matter is that bondage doesn’t have to be something out of a horror movie. There are a lot of couples that get off on bondage and lead very normal lives.

Although there are those couples out there that tie each other up in chains or with other materials, you don’t have to do this in order to experience this kind of sex. If you have an interest in moving up in the scene, you need to understand the basics first.

What Is Bondage?

Bondage is basically the restraint of one partner as to not impede on the actions of the other partner. Many people love bondage because it allows them to relinquish control of what is happening to them. They don’t have to make decisions and they can be used for kinky sex.

They can also be teased in this position and not be able to do anything about it. Giving away all control is a turn on to a lot of men and women. If you are one of them then you need to start out with a basic understanding of what bondage is and what it is not. This does not have to do with whips or humiliation. Although Bondage is a part of BDSM, it is only a small part.

1. Establish Some Ground Rules

The ground rules should be set before you tie up your partner or before your partner ties you up. The ground rules are essential to knowing the limits of what you and your partner can do while either of your is inhibited. If you are a little afraid of being tied up, you might want to pretend for first time or make the restraints loose enough to get out of.

Talk to your partner about what they want. Do they want their legs tied, their arms tied or a blindfold? Determine what you are comfortable with also. You might have a rule that they can only tease you when you are tied up but that they have to let you go before you have sex. Discuss anything that is going to make you uncomfortable with your partner and have them do the same so you are on the same page.

2. Use Safety Measures

There are a few terms that you should be familiar with. The bondage scene uses Safe, Sane And Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). These basically mean that you should always have consensual play with your partner and you should never be impaired by drugs or alcohol. Come up with a safe word to say if you are feeling uncomfortable and make sure that it’s something you would never use in the moment.

3. Get Tied Down

Now that you have all of that out of the way, it’s time to get tied down. Since you’re a beginner you probably don’t have all of the equipment needed. Get a couple of pairs of pantyhose and tie your partner to the bedpost or have her tie you to the bedpost.

Use a simple knot that will hold, but a knot that you could ultimately break if needed. If you want to start out slow, simply tie their hands together without securing them to the bed.

4. Use Some Objects

A feather is the easiest way to get started. It can feel good and it’s very teasing. Run the feather up and down your partner’s body or have them run the feather up and down your body. Tease them with the feather until they are begging for you. At this point, don’t give in.

The feather is most widely used object for teasing, but you can also use different sex toys. A feather is going to be enough for a guy, but a vibrator works very well with women. Run the vibrator over her nipples and her down her thigh. Don’t put it on her clitoris or inside her just yet. Wait until she is sucking in her stomach.

This is an involuntary refllex to try to get you to put the vibrator on her. Gradually work the vibrator around her clitoris and watch as she tugs on the restraints. Always follow the rules when you’re using objects or sex toys.

This form of sex is a fun way to put a little kink into the relationship. If you have an interest in bondage, following this simple guide will give you a crash course in what you like and what you don’t like. Remember to keep to the rules and never do anything that you or your partner is uncomfortable with.

BDSM Basics: How To Get Started

By kendallashley

BDSM is a sex activity that incorporates bondage, domination, submission and masochism. If you have been interested in BDSM for a while, but don’t know how to get started with it, there are a few things that you can do to ease into the scene.

BDSM is very kinky and can be a lot of fun. However, your comfort level might not be the same as your partner’s. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran of the scene, you should always know what you are comfortable with and what is going to be beyond your limits. Here is a quick guide to help you get started with BDSM.

What Are You Into?

As mentioned before, there are a lot of subsets with BDSM. Whether you’re into bondage or domination, you need to determine what makes you hot. Some men are really into dominating their partner while others would rather be the submissive. If you are into being whipped or incorporating a little pain into the relationship then you must be careful.

Telling your girlfriend or wife to bite your nipples is a little different than being chained to a bed and flogged. Determine what you are into and what is off limits before you ever bring this up with your partner. Knowing your limits will help define what is acceptable and what is not.

Master Vs. Slave

“Master” and “slave” are a very common terms in BDSM. In this scenario, one of you will be the master and one of you will be the slave. The master controls all aspects of the slave’s life. This means they control their privacy, what they do and when they can perform certain tasks. In many cases, the slave will wear a uniform and a collar. Some slaves do not feel comfortable wearing a collar, but others prefer it. In this form of domination, the actions do not always have to be sexual.

A master can designate certain tasks for the slave to complete. These tasks could include housework or sexual actions. The master is in charge of the slave and the slave must abide by the master’s rules. If you are interested in either of these roles, it’s recommended that you get direction from an experienced dominatrix or a slave.

Experimenting With Bondage

Bondage is another form of BDSM that you can get into fairly easily. The most intricate of bondage equipment will involve chains or bed straps, but you can easily improvise. Using neckties or pieces of satin fabric will not break the skin but can restrain easily. Rope is not recommended unless you are experienced because it will irritate the skin during movement.

Handcuffs work well and can be found at local adult stores or at toy stores. It’s recommended that you buy a good pair of handcuffs as plastic can break easily. If you are the one being restrained, make sure that your partner secures the restraints so you cannot move easily. Bondage allows you or your partner to relinquish control, which a lot of people find sexy.

What Is Masochism?

Masochism is another aspect of BDSM. Masochism is a consensual agreement between you and your partner involving the giving and the receiving of pain. There are different levels of masochism. There is extreme pain and then there is just a little pain. If you have ever enjoyed your girlfriend or wife scratching you with her fingernails then you have experienced a very tame form of masochism.

Masochism is enjoyed in the realm of sexuality. In order words, slamming your hand in a door is not the same as getting whipped by your girlfriend. Start off slow with masochism. Getting too much pain at once can ruin the experience quickly. Start out with a bullwhip and then work your way up to other tools.

Always Keep Safety In Mind

Safety is a must when it comes to BDSM. You must keep safety in the forefront of your mind so you are not only comfortable but also safe from any diseases or puncture wounds. It’s all too easy to get over-enthusiastic and wind up with a lash across your back that hurts for days or even scars. Have a safe word in place with your partner and research any methods that you are going to use before you implement them into the bedroom.

Make sure that all of your restraints are secure so they don’t come flying off the bedposts while in use. Also make sure that your restraints aren’t going to damage your furniture. Discuss any rules beforehand with your partner so they know what is off limits. Use these guidelines and you should be off to a great start with your first BDSM experience.