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What Men Can Learn From Lesbian Sex

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Lesbian sex can sometimes be more satisfying for a woman than sex with a guy – why is that and how can you recreate it?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re expecting some “Brianna Loves Jenna” play-by-play involving pillow fights and strap-ons. Well, it’s not happening. That’s your version of lesbian sex, and you’re way off base. Women in lesbian relationships generally report a higher level of sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts. “Well, yeah,” you’re thinking, “they have the equipment.” Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. The “equipment” you deem necessary for sex is just your penis, which is quite different than what women bring to the bedroom. Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing – these are all parts of a woman’s sexual experience, and you’ve been ignoring them.

Are Men Boring In Bed?

This may come as a shock to most men, but a lot of women think men are boring in the sack. This is because men think that there is a method to sex: get her wet, get inside, and get your rocks off. There is no real explanation for how this sequence of events became the norm, but it’s causing real sexual inhibitions in men.

Sex is not a job. There’s no sequence of tasks that must be performed in order to achieve the end game, i.e. blowing your wad. Concentrating solely on your own orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience. You may have gotten off, but you haven’t maximized the pleasure of either party. Okay, maybe you went down on her. Were you savoring each sensation? Or were you thinking, “Hurry up and cum so I can get up in there!”

Orgasms & Oral Sex

When two women have sex, they are not working toward one simple goal. An orgasm does not signal the end, and they don’t go in treating it as such. Every look and every touch is part of the experience. The warmth of the other’s lips, the softness of her skin, and how she responds to being touched is shared between partners. It is very much about the two coming together for mutual pleasure and shared intimacy. It is also about fun, and you know what they say about girls just wanted to have fun.

Oral sex is a very large part of lesbian sex, simply because girls recognize it as one of the greatest ways to experience an orgasm. While many girls only couples do take part in fingering each other or using strap-ons or other sex toys to pleasure their lovers, oral sex is almost always a part of true, honest to goodness lesbian sex because it just simply feels divine for the receiving partner! You can tease and please with oral sex, or you can get down and dirty and really give your lover something to squeal about. Many men disregard the importance of oral sex for a woman – because plain ol’ intercourse gets him off, it should get her off too, right? Take a cue from the lezzies and engage in some great foreplay and oral sex with your lover. Make her toes curl!

How NOT To Miss Out

Fear not, pal, there’s good news for you, too. Your heterosexual female partner is responding to your lips and hands in the same way a gay woman responds to her lover. She loves the way your skin smells and the way your breath tastes. It’s how you got her into bed in the first place. When she gives you a blowjob, it’s not because she just loves having a penis in her mouth, it’s because she savors the pleasure it provides you. Making love in this way satisfies all your senses, not just your penis. Don’t miss out on all the pleasure! You’re only cheating yourself.

Q&A: It’s My First Time With Another Female

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First time sex with a new partner is always nerve wracking. You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like and being nervous is just the icing on the cake. It can be especially nerve wracking if you’re having sex with another person of the same sex for the first time! Here’s how you can handle it and end up having a great time.

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGWPYcJEEM[/youtube]

Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Q&A: Personal Question For Dan & Jennifer – Why Do You Make All These Videos?

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While we don’t talk much about ourselves on our show, lots of people ask us personal questions about why we do what we do. Making an online video show and working to help millions of people with love, sex and relationship questions is simply something we love to do and we do it every day. Here’s why we’re passionate about it.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn – why do you make all these videos and help out people? Good job and keep it up!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMjawiVMXn8[/youtube]

Our Passion

We love to help people find happiness in their relationships and their lives. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone is worth it! People struggle every day to find answers to questions about love, sex and relationships and we’re trying to make it easier for everyone to find the information they’re looking for. We believe strongly in making informed decisions and being armed with knowledge when it comes to making choices in your every day life. We believe in safe sex and open and honest sex education. We’re passionate about helping people to solve problems in their lives and learn the tools they need for healthy, happy and satisfying relationships.

Our New Video Shows

We love what we do so much that we’ve started two new video shows and websites this year! We’ve had so much success in developing the Ask Dan And Jennifer website that we wanted to create a site that shows people step by step how to create a powerful and successful online blog the way we did. Blog Success Journal is where we give tips, tricks and advice on everything blog and recommend the tools that we’ve used and love so other people can learn how to set up their own blog or website. The second website we’ve launched this year is Today Is That Day. We found that we enjoyed helping people so much with their questions about sex and relationships that we realized we wanted to answer other questions too! On Today Is That Day, we answer questions about weight loss, personal improvement and self awareness and growth.

Our Opinions

We’re not doctors and we’re not therapists. We’re highly opinionated people who love to talk! We love hearing the opinions of others, too. Our online video show allows us to share our opinions with others as well as see what other people have to say about the topic we’re talking about. We love to get people talking with each other too, because our motto is, “question everything!” We believe it’s important to think about something and question it instead of just accepting it because it’s what you were taught or what you heard. We love it when people ask questions, because it means they’re thinking and trying to get some real answers for themselves.

Check out our YouTube channel to watch our latest videos, and be sure to leave a comment about what you think! You can also visit our Facebook page to see what other people are saying about our latest articles, tips and videos. Get in on the discussion!

Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends

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One of the most awkward times in a friendship is when one friend has feelings for the other that the other friend just doesn’t return. If your friend wants to be “more than friends,” it might seem impossible to let them know you don’t feel the same way without hurting their feelings, but you can and you should. Here’s how.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVy1_B1Gs4o[/youtube]

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.

Q&A: How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Bisexual?

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Discovering that you’re bisexual is one thing, but telling your parents is another! The thought of telling your parents that you’re bisexual or even gay is frightening. How will they react? Will they become angry or will they accept you? Here’s how you can tell your parents about your sexual orientation, regardless of what their reaction might be.

Question: How do I tell my parents I’m bisexual without getting a reaction like “Oh, it’s just a phase” or “You’re just being eccentric?”

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFVgVVV9JOc[/youtube]

Should You Tell Your Parents?

A lot of people feel like they should tell their parents about their sexual orientation as soon as they discover it. If you realize that you’re gay or bisexual, should you tell your parents right away? Perhaps not – give yourself some time to absorb this yourself first and get to know yourself on this new level. It’s up to you when you tell your parents or even if you tell them at all, but it’s important to know that there’s no rush. If you’re planning on bringing someone home, or you feel more comfortable being very openly gay or bisexual, it’s best that your parents aren’t surprised or that they don’t hear it from someone else. In this case, it’s important to talk to them as soon as possible so they can hear it straight from you.

Telling Your Parents

When you tell your parents about your sexual orientation, it’s essential that you be honest and sincere. Don’t be vulgar and keep it simple. You don’t have to have a sit down talk, but make sure you and your parents aren’t out at dinner or in a place where it might become uncomfortable. Be calm and confident when you talk to your parents, which will be easier if you’ve given yourself time to absorb your sexuality. If you’re still unsure of your sexual orientation yourself, you’re going to appear unsure to your parents too. You might get questions from your parents and you need to be prepared to answer them with concise, honest and confident answers.

Their Reaction

It’s impossible to know what your parent’s reaction will be until you actually tell them. You might suspect that they’ll become angry or simply dismiss you as going through “a phase,” but you won’t know for sure. When you tell your parents that you’re bisexual or gay, respect their reaction. It might not be the reaction you want or even the reaction you thought they’d have, but you can’t force them to feel the same way about your sexuality as you do. If your parents suggest you’ll “grow out of it,” simply give it time. Be true to yourself and your parents will soon see that your sexual orientation isn’t just a passing phase and that it is part of who you are. They’ll have to choose either to accept you as you are or not, and unfortunately, you can’t do anything to influence that decision. So just focus on being yourself and learning to be comfortable in your own skin.