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4 Things You Need Before Giving A Handjob

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A handjob seems easy enough to do, not always. If you want to give your guy the handjob of his life, be sure to have these handjob essentials before you start.

There are several things you need to do before getting started on your man’s member. While he doesn’t have to do as much grooming and freshening up for a handjob (think of it as a great way to please your man after he’s mowed the lawn), you may have to put in a little more effort on your part.

1. Groom Your Hands

Make sure your hands are soft and your nails are clipped. Nothing can be more frustrating than for a man to be quite aroused but having his penis get snagged by a hangnail mid-job. Generally, women have soft hands but if you notice any calluses or rough spots, you might want to take care of those first before beginning the massage.

Get some good lotion and let the lanolin soak in so your hands will the soft as an infants. Last but not least, be aware if you have any cuts or open sores on your hand. If you do and aren’t sure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease (or if you know that he does), be sure to wear latex or vinyl gloves for the job. Gloves are also great if you do have calluses or rough spots on your hands and most guys love them (contrary to popular belief) because it gives the massage a slicker, more uniform feeling.

2. Use Lube!

Get some lube. No, lotion simply won’t do – it is too thick and gloppy! Think twice before using oil if you plan on having intercourse using a condom later (it can break down a condom quickly). Lube isn’t that expensive and works much better for the task at hand (no pun intended) – make sure you get the water based lubricant as well.

Have it ready by the bed (or venue of choice) so that when you begin, you can easily coat your hands and your partner’s penis with the substance. You can put it in a bucket of hot water or even a small crock pot so it stays warm throughout the handjob. You will most likely need to reapply throughout the massage. Slipperier/wetter is better!

There are now all sorts of “fantasy” lubes on the market now. You can get lube that warms, lube that cools, is flavored, is organic (no chemicals) or even desensitizes which is good if your man comes too quickly with your touch.

Note: IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE OIL – one recommendation is to use grape seed oil. It slides well and is all natural. You can pull it out of the cabinet in the kitchen for an impromptu handjob while dinner is simmering. Never use oil if you plan to use a condom later – the oil will degrade the condom and make it more susceptible to tearing or breakage.

3. Get Your Stuff Together

Have other items of interest ready. This goes without saying, really. If you plan on using gloves or condoms for added protection, have those ready to go (it helps to have the condom already unwrapped). If you want to use edible items or other props (such as feathers, etc.) you will want to get those out and set up next to the area in which you will be giving the genital massage.

Less time fumbling around with items that you’re going to use equates to a more enjoyable experience with your partner. Also make sure any toys you might be using are within reach.

4. Get Comfortable

Make your partner comfortable – and you too! This is actually a very important part regarding erotic massage that is often given very little or no thought. First of all, if your partner is not comfortable, his enjoyment will be hindered somewhat – making it more difficult for him to have an orgasm or the fantastic one you are planning to give.

If the woman is uncomfortable, she will tire of massaging her partner’s genitals more quickly and easily than if she were set up well and relaxed. So, unless you are wanting the handjob to be “risky” or “surprising” (like in his office or in the woods), find a comfortable place in which to give your partner the genital massage. You can also add extra comfort by propping either you or your partner (or both!) up on soft pillows.

Be sure to position yourself so that your hands and arms will not become tired easily. The bed is an obvious choice but also consider a sofa (one that is protected or cleans up easily) or an office chair that leans back. Most men do like to lounge back while they are masturbating or receiving handjobs as it is usually a comfortable position and allows for the thrusting of the hips.

How To Choose The BEST Lube!

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Lube comes in all different kinds, consistencies, flavors and formulas. Here’s how to select the best one for what you’re going to be doing.

You’ve decided to go ahead and get some lube, but there are so many different kinds out there that it’s completely overwhelming! What kind do you get? How much money do you have to spend? Should you get one, two or four bottles? Should you get different kinds or stock up on one kind? Here’s what you want to know about what kind of lube to get for what you want to use it for.

Water Based

What It Is: Water based lubricant is just that – a lubricant made with mostly water and other inert ingredients. Water based lube feels the most natural, although it can come in both slippery thin versions and thick gel versions. It’s the most condom compatible lube and the easiest to wash off. It almost never stains sheets!

Don’t Use With: Underwater sex or sex in the shower. It will rinse away almost immediately.

Best For: Vaginal sex, use with sex toys

Silicone

What It Is: Silicone lube is not water based – it’s made from silicone (a type of plastic) and is typically “oilier” feeling than water based lube. (Never use oil for lube – it will ruin any latex product including condoms). It lasts longer and doesn’t wash away that easily. It requires washing off with soap and water and can be more difficult to get out of intimate areas like the vagina. It can also stain sheets and clothing, so be careful!

Don’t Use With: Silicone sex toys. Silicone + silicone doesn’t mix – it will degrade the toy and the outside will start to get sticky and gross looking!

Best For: Underwater sex, anal sex

All Natural/Hypoallergenic

What It Is: For sensitive women, there are “all natural” or “hypoallergenic” lubricant formulas available. Some are even considered “organic.” Most, if not all of them are water based, since silicone can be more irritating to some individuals. All natural lubes are usually unscented and feel very natural.

Don’t Use With: Nothing. These lubes are very versatile!

Best For: Women with very sensitive vaginal tissues, or men who have sensitive penises. Also good for couples who simply desire to use lubricant that is closest to their own natural bodily fluids.

Flavored

What It Is: Flavored lube is almost always water based, since consumers typically associate flavored lube with “edible lube.” And it usually is edible, although there isn’t really a lubricant out there that doesn’t taste like some sort of poorly flavored plastic. It’s tolerable though, if you must use lube during oral sex. However, the scents are what make flavored lube so great! They come in a variety of scents like chocolate, mint, strawberry and more. When using them for anal sex, the scents can come in handy when covering up any unwanted body odors.

Don’t Use With: Some flavored lubes are made with sugar, which can cause yeast infections in women. Read your labels carefully!

Best For: Oral sex or anytime you want a better smelling lubricant

Desensitizing Lube

What It Is: Desensitizing lubricant is a special formula with “numbing” ingredients that numb the surface of the skin it’s applied to for a short period of time. This type of lube was created specifically with anal sex in mind, but should not be used for this.

Don’t Use With: Anything! Desensitizing lube was created with anal sex in mind, since anal sex tends to be painful when not done correctly. However, if you use this type of lube with anal sex, it can prevent you from feeling pain – which can be a very, very bad thing contrary to popular belief.

You may think you want to numb yourself against feeling pain during anal sex, but you need to be aware if something hurts while you’re engaging in that type of activity. Tearing and bleeding can occur and when severe, require immediate medical attention. If you can’t feel what’s going on, you may not know there’s an issue until it’s too late.

Best For: Nothing, really. You can’t use it for oral sex because you don’t want a numb tongue (what good would that do?) and you don’t want your lover to have a numb vagina and clitoris either. You can use it if you’re a particularly fast ejaculator, but it’s not going to numb you to feeling the pressure of stroking during intercourse, which is typically what causes a man to orgasm anyways. It may buy you a minute or two, but it’s not really worth it.

Stimulating Lubricants

What It Is: Like desensitizing lubes, stimulating lubricants are either water or silicone based lubes that are made with special ingredients to stimulate the vagina or penis during sex. There are warming lubes or cooling lubes, both of which provide a tingling sensation. Some formulas of warming lubes get really, really hot and can burn quite a bit, while most cooling lubes aren’t as strong. These can be fun to play with!

Don’t Use With: Oral sex. Do you really want your tongue to be on fire?

Best For: Experimenting with a drop or two on the penis or the clitoris. Fun for handjobs! Use in moderation.

What Not To Use

Oils

Never, ever use oil based products like olive oil, coconut oil, baby oil or mineral oil during sex. These will break down latex condoms and latex sex toys faster than you can say, “Oh ****!” Technically, you “can” use oils like this if you’re in a monogamous sexual relationship with someone and you are both STD free and are either trying for a baby or are protected against pregnancy in other ways (such as birth control), but water and silicone based lubricants are so much better and more natural feeling. They’re also easier to wash off!

Saliva

Saliva is NOT lube. No matter how many times you’ve used it in a “pinch” and it’s worked okay, it’s just not the same. It doesn’t last as long, there’s usually not enough of it and it’s really not that erotic to be smearing your spit all over yourself and your girl’s vagina during sex. Just get some lube, okay?

Lotion

Lotion isn’t lube either. You may have used it during masturbation and sure it was thick, but it was better than nothing, right? It’s not going to work that way if you’re with a woman. It’s too thick and it will likely irritate her delicate vaginal tissues. Lotion is meant for the outside, not the inside.

Food Products Like Mayonnaise, Etc.

If the thought of using condiments like mayo for lube makes you shudder and sends you running in the other direction, good for you! However, people have been known to use whatever they have on hand instead of just going out and buying a bottle of damn lube. It’s ridiculous, yes. But it happens. Mayo and other condiments can have oil in them, so refer back to why you should not use oil as a lubricant during sex. Also, using condiments (unless it’s licking chocolate sauce off her nipples) during sex is just plain nasty.

Vaseline/Petroleum Jelly

These are oil based products. Read the label.

Lube is a great item to have on hand and it can be found almost everywhere, including your local supermarkets and drugstores. It’s inexpensive and you don’t have to be a certain age to buy it. Try several different brands, types and consistencies to find out what works for you and your partner! Sampler packs are great for this because it allows you to try different brands without spending money and wasting an entire bottle of lube if you find that you don’t like something. Above all, have fun with it because that’s what it’s all about!

What To Do When Sex Hurts

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Sex tips aren’t always about how to do it better. If sex hurts, you need some suggestions on how to fix the issue. Find out now how to relieve sex pain!

For the woman that finds sex painful, it can be rare to find a position or angle that will help her orgasm with any kind of ease. If she has had this issue for any length of time, she has already associated intercourse with pain in her mind, so overcoming this can be incredibly difficult. There are a handful of reasons why a woman might find sex painful or uncomfortable, but only a doctor can decide what the underlying symptoms might be.

First Timers

Although it’s nothing more than a myth that sex always hurts the first time, for some women, especially if she has never used a sex toy or tampon, it can be very overwhelming. She may have a particularly firm hymen, or she may not be adequately aroused and lubricated to ensure safe penis passage.

Some women also clench up during their first few sexual encounters because they aren’t body-aware and are nervous, or anticipating some form of pain. Go slowly, but if you cannot enter her one finger without serious discomfort, it’s time to visit her doctor.

A Funny Feeling

For many women, sex is more than just a penis entering her vagina. It is a full-body experience, and one that she takes very seriously. If she’s not feeling into it, if you’ve recently had a fight or are otherwise emotionally disconnected from one another, it could be incredibly difficult to make sex work at all, let alone getting her to let go and release.

Take some time to woo your lover again with bubble baths, massages, lots of kissing and foreplay, and try out one of the more intimate, face-to-face positions in this eBook as a starting point. Once she’s feeling comfortable with you, this too shall pass.

Lack Of Lubrication

A woman who has just given birth, or one who is over the age of 40 will likely need a bottle of lubricant nearby during most sexual encounters, but there are a lot of other factors that could inhibit a woman’s ability to get moist. Make sure she’s really excited, because for most women that is the only reason that keeps her from getting slippery.

If you are both sure she’s adequately aroused, grab some water-based lube for all-round, long lasting use. Warm it up with your hands first so it doesn’t surprise her, then lovingly massage her labia and vaginal opening with a little drop before entering her.

Have Patience

Yes, some women can orgasm quickly during intercourse, but this kind of quick release is a learned skill that she has to perfect over an extended period of time. For most women, getting to orgasm will take at least twenty minutes, but could be even closer to the forty minute mark with foreplay and fingering, especially if she hasn’t reached climax during sex before, or is still learning to make it there consistently.

Take your time when seducing your partner and really enjoy the experience for as long as you can. You don’t need to clock-watch – just chill out and take your time. Rushing her will only increase her anxiety about reaching the mark, and you’ll be defeated before you’ve even begun.

Allergies Or Medications

The special spots between a woman’s legs are highly sensitive, and for some women, prone to rashes or irritation. If she is complaining before sex that she’s not feeling 100% ‘down there,’ take the time to investigate and ask questions. Has she used any new products lately, such as a douche or laundry soap? Have you changed brands of condoms or lube? Did she get sunburned, has her personal sexual activity changed?

Have you been playing with food or other strange insertions? Any of these things can impair her comfort and ability to climax. If after a week or so of waiting for things to heal or clear up after changing products or habits, a trip to her doctor is the next step.

Irregularity

No, I don’t mean her behaviour in this case, but rather how things are flowing ‘down there.’ When her body is backed up or her cycle is strange, she may struggle with feeling sexy, or worry that she’ll have to run to the bathroom in the middle of a session. She might not have the body-comfort necessary to share this kind of information with you, so you may just need to wait a day or two if you think this could be an issue, and see if it works itself out.

A Jaded Past

When a woman has been sexually abused or treated poorly in any past sexual relationship, it will affect your relationship with her, no questions asked. If she is willing to talk about it with you, listen carefully to determine what bothers her most. You need to determine her triggers and avoid situations that might remind her of the past. If past abuse holds her up sexually, suggest the two of you go to professional help together so that she can move passed her past, and you can learn how to please her in new and exciting ways.

When To Call The Doctor

There are a few instances where a medical problem comes in between you and your partner’s personal enjoyment. For women who find sex extremely painful during penetration, it might be necessary to visit a doctor and rule out Vaginismus. It is a relatively rare condition, but there are options for treatment. Take a trip with her to her gynaecologist, or even her G.P. If you would like to learn more about Vaginismus, show an interest and participate in the process, so you can find out what you can do to help her scream in ecstasy instead of pain.

3 Moves To Heighten Her Arousal

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An orgasm is the icing on the cake for a woman – here are some easy ways to increase your lover’s chances of having an orgasm during sex.

These next moves are specifically designed for increased stimulation when she has become aroused and lubricated, heading toward orgasm. If your wife is not naturally lubricated but is clearly aroused and ready for more intense sensations, it’s time to break out the bottled lube. Lube is definitely a worthy investment for these landmark moves.

If your wife is not naturally lubricated but is clearly aroused and ready for more intense sensations, it’s time to break out the bottled lube.

1. U-Turn Again

This move stimulates the urethra and prepares your wife for the possibility of a squirting orgasm. Spread her labia using the thumb and forefinger from above, and use your other hand to gently stroke a lubricated finger over the delicate spot between her vagina and clitoris.

Don’t stimulate her clit directly, unless she asks you to, and don’t penetrate her just yet either. You may have to use the thumb and ring finger of your other hand to hold her inner labia apart and spot her urethral opening. Once you do, you can use just the very tip of your index finger to tease and tickle the little bump and get her ready for intense orgasms.

2. Rollie-Pollie

Another great massage technique, this move is excellent as you get closer to penetration. It ensures maximum blood flow to her outer genitalia, which will help increase the overall stimulation levels that lead her to orgasm.

Using the pad of your thumb against the side of your index finger, grasp one of her outer labia in each hand and roll them back and forth. Work your way down from her mound to her perineum and then back up again. Vary your speed and pressure based on her response, and get ready for a wet and wild ride coming your way.

3. Heavy Petting

Turning things around again, this move is a great return to a position where your wife can pleasure your penis a bit as well, either with her hands or her mouth. Whether you are on your knees or lying on your side, face her feet, close enough to her groin that the heel of your hand can rest comfortably on the top of her mons.

This is a great follow up to the cupping, drumming and rumbling techniques above in this same position, but again, is best once she is lubricated, so use this as a cue to add a drop or two, if she isn’t already wet.

Let your hands drape down over her vulva and with your index and ring fingers holding her outer labia, slide your middle finger between them, and run it through the folds of her inner labia from top to bottom. Be sure to keep your hand on her pubic mound, and don’t be too forceful or exuberant with this one, unless she asks you to up the ante. Her inner lips are fine and delicate, so they will feel even the lightest touch.

7 Things You Have Been Doing Wrong During Anal Sex All This Time

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Anal sex is something many couples try, but are they really getting it right? Maybe not. Are you making these seven anal sex mistakes?

For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. So what’s the deal, where does this contradiction come from? The answer is simple: in the vast majority of cases, it’s the men that the women are complaining about; men don’t know how to do it properly, so that their respective wives and girlfriends really experience the pleasure.

The secret is to persistently commit to fix the problem. If they don’t, the doors to the women’s derrieres will irreversibly slam shut in front of them.

1. You Don’t Think You Need To Learn Anything

When it comes to anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around. You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to rock her world, but convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection. Those movies never show you that you need a lot of time to warm her up properly, the guy never uses lube and he’s hard hitting right from the start, while the girl screams with pleasure.

Professional porn stars are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see, you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re in bed, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk. Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs.

Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over. Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans and “keep doing it” look, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

It’s also important to create a non-intimidating, sexy atmosphere. Lower the lights, put some good music, massage her, everything you know she needs in order to loosen up both physically and mentally. Anal sex is not suited for a quickie. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you have — use it to your advantage.

5. Once You’re There, You Lose Your Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina. Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel.

If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus. Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome clitoral orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.